Shooting Star (6 page)

Jessup groaned and scraped his short thumbnail across
Brac’s
sensitive crown. “Fill my hand.”

Not one to let a moment pass him by,
Brac
did as instructed, shooting bursts of cum. He started to sag but was held up by a strong arm around his waist. If only he could hold Jessup in return.
Brac
vowed to make the dream a reality before he slipped any further under Jessup’s spell.

Chapter Four

Al Jessup’s body still felt like it was vibrating as he drove up the mountain towards the lodge. The impact of
Brac’s
blowjob had thrown him. He’d promised himself he’d enjoy what he could of
Brac
before the Hollywood star traipsed back to California. Unfortunately, the intimacy the two of them had shared earlier threatened his resolve to let
Brac
go without ties when it was time.

“Okay?”
Brac
asked from the passenger seat.

Jessup nodded.
“Just thinking.”

“About?”
Brac
slid across the bench seat to sit next to Jessup.

The last thing Jessup wanted was to pour his heart out to someone who may not feel the same way. His feelings were starting to grow for
Brac
, but those same feelings began to erect yet another wall around his heart.

There had been two people in his life he’d really cared about—Priest and Mrs Gibbs, the foster mother who’d raised him for the first five years of his life. Priest had made his position quite clear before and after Jessup’s release from prison—fuck buddy, nothing more.

Although Priest’s rejection had hurt, Jessup knew it was Mrs Gibbs’ betrayal that had shaped him into the untrusting, unfeeling man he’d become.

“Jessup?”
Brac
prompted. “Did I do something wrong?”

Jessup shook his head and put a hand on
Brac’s
thigh. “You can’t spend your time wondering whether or not you’ve done something wrong. I’m fucked up. I’ve told you that. Whatever went on between us earlier, you can’t let yourself make more of it than it was.”

He felt
Brac
freeze beside him before scooting back to the passenger window. “I hear
ya
,”
Brac
mumbled.

Jessup wanted to haul
Brac
back to his side, but decided a little distance was a good thing. It wouldn’t do for either of them to start getting attached. He didn’t even know if it was possible for him to give enough of himself to make something work between them because
Brac
could be called back to LA at any moment.
Yeah, better to keep distance between us.

Kit and Hawk were getting out of their car when Jessup pulled into the parking lot. “They’re here,”
Brac
said,
his voice a little too excited for Jessup’s comfort.

“Yep,” he mumbled, taking the keys out of the ignition. Before he’d opened his door,
Brac
was out of the truck and rushing towards Kit. Jessup watched the two friends hug with a heavy feeling in his chest. He wasn’t sure if it was the trace of jealousy he felt or the desire to be as close to another human being as Kit and
Brac
seemed to be. Either way, Jessup didn’t like it.

He slammed the pickup door harder than necessary and joined the small group at the foot of the lodge steps. Hawk gave Jessup a friendly nod while Kit and
Brac
talked a mile-a-minute.

Hawk chuckled and gestured towards the friends. “Irritating, isn’t it?”

Pocketing his keys, Jessup gave a non-committal answer. “Is what it is, I guess.”

Hawk started up the steps, stopping only long enough to grab Kit’s hand. “I’m hungry. The two of you can continue your conversation inside.”

Kit laughed and followed Hawk up the steps, leaving
Brac
and Jessup at the bottom. Jessup gestured towards the retreating backs.
“After you.”

Brac
stared at Jessup. It was obvious he wanted to say something about their brief exchange on the drive up, but instead of just coming out with it, he chose to let out a huff and trot up the steps.

Once again Jessup wanted to run after
Brac
and fully explain his reasons for slamming the brakes on their budding relationship. Never would he have thought the word ‘relationship’ was even in his vocabulary, so why had he just thought it? What was it about
Brac
that made him long for something he’d given up on over thirty-three years earlier?

“You
comin
’?”

“Yeah.”
Jessup started up the steps. “Sorry about earlier,” he mumbled as he reached for the massive hand-carved double door.

“Don’t worry about it. Like you said, it was nothing.”
Brac
pushed past Jessup and entered the lodge.

Jessup swallowed and finally reached for
Brac
. “Wait.”

Brac
glanced down at the hold Jessup had around his wrist. “Why? So you can make me feel even worse than I already do?”

“No.” Jessup sighed and released
Brac
. “Let’s get through dinner, and we’ll talk on the way home.”

“You know what? I can’t do the casual thing with you, so I might ride home with Kit and Hawk. Since the photographers are gone and Cattle Valley Days start this weekend, Kit’s dying to have me back.”

Jessup felt like he’d been slapped. “Whatever you want,” he mumbled. “I’ll…um…” He gestured over his shoulder towards the parking lot. “I’m just
gonna
go. You have my number in case you see any signs of trouble.”

Before
Brac
could say more, Jessup turned and left the building. He didn’t slow until he reached the safety of his truck. “Fuck,” he yelled, slamming his fist against the steering wheel.

* * * *

By the time
Brac
joined Kit and Hawk in the Grizzly Bar, he was in a sour mood. Even Kit’s bright smile couldn’t chase away the hurt of Jessup’s dismissal.

“Oh, baby, what’s wrong?” Kit asked, reaching for
Brac’s
arm and pulling him down to the chair beside her. “Where’s Jessup?”

Brac
shrugged. “He decided not to join us.” He didn’t tell Kit it was supposed to be their first date. When Jessup had told him he didn’t know how to date, he hadn’t been kidding.

Hawk cleared his throat and pointed towards a group just entering the restaurant.
Brac
recognised the two men and boy from the pictures Kit had shown him.

“I’ll go over and cuddle Joey while the two of you talk.” He stood and kissed Kit. “Order me a medium-rare fillet with fries.”

“Love you,” Kit whispered against Hawk’s mouth after he kissed her again.

“Love you,” Hawk returned.

Kit watched Hawk cross the restaurant with a smile on her face. The simple gesture made
Brac
feel even worse. Maybe he wanted love so badly he was willing to settle for a man like Jessup who carried around a shitload of problems like a goddamn shield.

“Have you slept with him?” Kit asked.

“Hawk?
Hell no!”

Kit slapped
Brac’s
arm. “I wasn’t talking about Hawk.” She turned her gaze towards the man who was blowing raspberries on the small boy’s stomach. Stabbing a finger in Hawk’s direction, Kit shook her head. “Hawk would never cheat. Since he’s found Joey, he’s turned into a real family man.”

Brac
grinned. “Don’t sell yourself short. I think you have more to do with Hawk’s change in lifestyle than anyone. After all, even with a son, Hawk could still be fucking anyone who caught his eye.”

A waiter stepped up to the table. “What can I get
ya
?” he asked.

Brac
hadn’t even opened the menu. He ordered a simple steak salad with dressing on the side much to Kit’s chagrin. “And bring me a Michelob with a Jack chaser.”

While Kit gave the man her and Hawk’s order,
Brac
watched Hawk. He’d known the man for several years, but the Hawk of today was nothing like the playboy who used to have men and women going in and out of his house at all hours of the day and night. Hawk was proof that love could change a person if they were open to it. That wasn’t to say
Brac
was in love with Jessup, but
dammit
, he felt more for the deputy than he’d felt for anyone else.

“So what’s going on with you and Jessup?” Kit asked.

Brac
looked away from the scene across the room. “I like him, but he’s really screwed up.”

Kit chuckled as she settled the napkin in her lap. “Aren’t we all at some point in our lives?”

“Not like Jessup.” He’d already told Kit about Jessup’s time in prison, but not in detail. “I’ve sucked his cock, but haven’t been allowed to hold him.”
Brac
picked up the salt shaker and sprinkled his cardboard coaster with a few grains as the waiter came back to the table with their drinks. It took him about two seconds to tilt his head back and pour the Jack Daniels down his throat. He handed the shot glass back to the waiter. “Thanks.”

“Another?” the waiter asked.

“Nope.
One’s my limit.”
Brac
followed the whisky down with a gulp of his beer before settling the mug onto the coaster. He returned his attention to Kit. She was staring at him with a confused expression. “What?”

“Why haven’t you held him?” she asked.

“Because he freaks out.
Something to do with the torture he endured.”
Brac
shrugged. “I thought if I took things slow I’d gain his trust, but he told me on the way over not to expect anything from him.” A bark of laughter erupted from his throat. “Less than an hour after having his cock in my mouth, he told me not to make more of it than what it was.”

“I think you more than like this guy.”

Brac
took another drink of his beer. “Why would you say that? I’ve given my fair share of blowjobs to guys without expecting anything in return.”

“Exactly.
The fact that you’re hurt over Jessup’s rebuff tells me he’s different than the others.” Kit reached over and threaded her fingers through
Brac’s
. “Jessup didn’t want me to tell you this, but I think you need to hear it.”

“What?”

“The reporters have been gone for days. When I called to see when you were coming back to town, Jessup told me the country air seemed to be good for you. He asked me to just let you be for a few more days.” Kit squeezed
Brac’s
hand. “Ryan told me Jessup took a few days off so he could continue to stay with you even though the threat had passed. That doesn’t sound like someone who isn’t interested in getting to know you.”

Brac
brought Kit’s hand to his mouth and kissed it. “You always see the good in people.”

“I didn’t used to.” Her gaze went to Hawk. “He was the first man I ever trusted enough to open up to. It wasn’t until I spelled out my fears and my past that the two of us were able to start building something.” She smiled before breaking eye contact with the handsome man across the room. “Have you done that with Jessup?”

“Not really. I mean, we talked a little after Hal called to tell me I wouldn’t be going back to
Pirates’ Cove
, but not in any real detail. He’d probably freak if he knew how much I want to get close to him.”

The waiter came with their food and Kit released
Brac’s
hand. “Sounds to me like the two of you need to sit down and talk.”

Brac
remembered Jessup’s offer to talk on the way home from the restaurant. “Yeah, guess I should’ve talked to you before I went and pissed him off.”

* * * *

From his position in front of the Sheriff’s building, Jessup watched the tail end of the parade that officially kicked off Cattle Valley Days. He’d spotted
Brac
earlier weaving his way through the crowd with Kit and Hawk right behind him.

Despite the navy blue baseball cap and dark sunglasses, Jessup had picked
Brac
out of the crowd immediately. He’d fought the urge to go after the man he couldn’t seem to shake from his dreams.

“Nice parade,” a familiar voice said from behind him.

Jessup spun around and came face to face with the man he couldn’t get off his mind.
“Yeah.”
He stuck his hands in his front pockets. “How’ve you been?”

“You want the truth or what I figure you want to hear?”
Brac
asked.

“
Truth’ll
do.”

“I’ve missed you, but I’m pissed that you haven’t returned any of my calls.”

Jessup wasn’t sure what to say. He’d listened to
Brac’s
messages over and over again just to hear his voice, but he hadn’t been willing to risk more of his heart than he already had.

Brac
took off his sunglasses and took a step towards Jessup. “If you want nothing more to do with me, tell me, and I’ll go back to LA and lick my wounds. But if you feel the least bit like I do, give this thing a chance.”

Jessup glanced around to make sure they weren’t drawing attention. “I’ll be off duty at seven, in time for the street dance. If you want to talk, meet me back here. If not, I’ll go on home.”

“I’ll be here at six-fifty-five just in case you decide to get off early.”
Brac
tilted his chin up and stepped even closer, putting them within kissing distance. “Kiss me and give me something to look forward to.”

Brac’s
lips looked so inviting Jessup couldn’t help himself. He gave in to his body’s desire and kissed him, ending the brief press of his lips with a subtle swipe of his tongue. Before he could pull back,
Brac
kissed him again, thrusting his tongue deep into Jessup’s mouth. Fuck, the man tasted good.
Brac
had obviously sampled the pastries at
Brynn’s
Bakery earlier. He brushed
Brac’s
tongue with his own as he pressed his body against
Brac’s
solid frame.