受戒 (5 page)

"If so, I'll clench my teeth. My uncle said it was the worst hardship a monk must face."

"Isn't it possible not to have them?"

"Without those scars a man is only a half monk."

"But what's the use of being a real monk?"

"Then you can go anywhere and put your Buddhist robes in any temple."

"What do you mean?"

"You can sleep and eat there."

"Free of charge?"

"Of course! And monks coming from other districts are given the first chance to perform the Buddhist services."

"So that's why it's said, 'Monks coming from other districts can chant the Buddhist sutras better.'Is it all because of the scars on your head?"

"No. You must also have a certificate."

"Oh, I see! You get a certificate to show you're a real monk."

“好好的头皮上烧十二个洞，那不疼死啦？”

“咬咬牙。舅舅说这是当和尚的一大关，总要过的。”

“不受戒不行吗？”

“不受戒的是野和尚。”

“受了戒有啥好处？”

“受了戒就可以到处云游，逢寺挂褡。”

“什么叫‘挂褡’?"

“就是在庙里住。有斋就吃。”

“不把钱？”

“不把钱。有法事，还得先尽外来的师父。”

“怪不得都说‘远来的和尚会念经’。就凭头上这几个戒疤？”

“还要有一份戒牒。”

“闹半天，受戒就是领一张和尚的合格文凭呀！”

"Yes."

"Then, I'll take you there by boat."

"Thanks."

Early the next morning, Xiaoyingzi rowed her boat to the bank in front of Biqi Nunnery. Not knowing why, she felt very excited. Filled with curiosity, she wanted to have a look at the large, well-known Shanyin Temple and watch the ceremony.

Shanyin Temple was the largest one in the whole county. Located on the outside of the county town's eastern gate, it faced a deep moat and was surrounded by tall trees on three sides. As the temple was hidden among the trees, only its magnificent roof was visible from afar. People, therefore, did not know how large it really was. Planks hung on the trees warned: "Beware of fierce dogs." Normally few people dared venture there, but during an initiation ceremony, the dogs were locked up and visitors were allowed to enter the temple freely.

It was indeed a very large temple! Its threshold was higher than Xiaoyingzi's knees. On either side of the entrance were two large posters. On one was written, "Initiation ceremony in progress", and on the other, "Silence!" The atmosphere inside was solemn. No one dared even cough loudly. Minghai went to enroll and complete the formalities. Xiaoyingzi strolled alone around the temple. Good heavens! The four vajras were more than thirty feet tall. Obviously, they had been recently cleaned. The courtyard was at least two
mu
in area, paved with blue stone slabs and planted with pines and cypresses. The Mahavira Hall was enormous. The moment you stepped into it, you felt a sudden chill all over your body. Everything glistened with a dazzling golden colour. The Buddha Sakyamuni sat on a lotus-stand, which was higher than Xiaoyingzi. Looking up at its face, she could only see the slightly closed lips and fat, round chin. The circumference of the red candles on both sides was so large that you could not put your arms round them. Among the offerings on the altar before the statue, apart from fresh flowers, velvet flowers and silk flowers, were also a corallite, a jade
ruyi
^[1]
 and a large elephant tusk. Some joss-sticks burned in the incense burner. The fragrance was so strong that, after leaving the hall, Xiaoyingzi could still smell it and even her clothes had absorbed the scent. Heavy embroidered streamers were hung everywhere and she could not guess what they were made of. The inverted bell was so large, it could hold at least ten buckets of water. And the "wooden fish",
^[2]
 as big as a cow's head, was painted red. After leaving there she went to look at the hall of the Arhats and then climbed up the Pavilion of a Thousand Buddhas. There were indeed a thousand small Buddhas! Following the other visitors, she saw the Tripitaka Pavilion. Volume after volume of Buddhist sutras was not a particularly interesting sight. Oh dear! Her legs already ached! Suddenly, it occurred to her that she had to buy cooking oil, silk yarn for her elder sister, cloth to make shoes for her mother, two silver butterflies to decorate the ribbons of her own skirt and tobacco for her father, so she left the temple.

“就是！”

“我划船送你去。”

“好。”

小英子早早就把船划到荸荠庵门前。不知是什么道理，她兴奋得很。她充满了好奇心，想去看看善因寺这座大庙，看看受戒是个啥样子。

善因寺是全县第一大庙，在东门外，面临一条水很深的护城河，三面都是大树，寺在树林子里，远处只能隐隐约约看到一点金碧辉煌的屋顶，不知道有多大。树上到处挂着“谨防恶犬”的牌子。这寺里的狗出名地厉害。平常不大有人进去。放戒期间，任人游看，恶狗都锁起来了。

好大一座庙！庙门的门坎比小英子的胳膝都高。迎门矗着两块大牌，一边一块，一块写着斗大两个大字：“放戒”，一块是：“禁止喧哗”。这庙里果然是气象庄严，到了这里谁也不敢大声咳嗽。明海自去报名办事，小英子就到处看看。好家伙，这哼哈二将、四大天王，有三丈多高，都是簇新的，才装修了不久。天井有二亩地大，铺着青石，种着苍松翠柏。“大雄宝殿”，这才真是个“大殿”！一进去，凉嗖嗖的。到处都是金光耀眼。释迦牟尼佛坐在一个莲花座上。单是莲座，就比小英子还高。抬起头来也看不全他的脸，只看到一个微微闭着的嘴唇和胖敦敦的下巴。两边的两根大红蜡烛，一搂多粗。佛像前的大供桌上供着鲜花、绒花、绢花，还有珊瑚树、玉如意、整棵的大象牙。香炉里烧着檀香。小英子出了庙，闻着自己的衣服都是香的。挂了好些幡。这些幡不知是什么缎子的，那么厚重，绣的花真细。这么大一口磬，里头能装五担水！这么大一个木鱼，有一头牛大，漆得通红的。她又去转了转罗汉堂，爬到千佛楼上看了看。真有一千个小佛！她还跟着一些人去看了看藏经楼。藏经楼没有什么看头，都是经书！妈吔！逛了这么一圈，腿都酸了。小英子想起还要给家里打油，替姐姐配丝线，给娘买鞋面布，给自己买两个坠围裙飘带的银蝴蝶，给爹买旱烟，就出庙了。

It was almost noon before she had finished shopping and returned to the temple. The monks were eating in the dining hall. How large it was! It could seat nearly eight hundred of them! This temple emphasized discipline even during meal times. On the Buddha's seat were placed two tin vases in which were inserted red velvet flowers. Behind the seat sat an old monk wearing a red garment embroidered with golden yarn and holding a ruler in his hand. If any monk happened to make a slight noise while eating, the old monk was ready to rap him with his ruler. But, in fact, he never had to do this. Though so many monks ate together, none made any noise. How strange that was! Seeing Mingzi also sitting among them, Xiaoyingzi wanted to call to him but hesitated, wondering whether or not it was prohibited. At last she plucked up her courage and shouted to him, "I'm going now!" With his eyes fixed on the table, Mingzi nodded slightly. Xiaoyingzi left in a conspicuous manner, not caring that so many monks stared at her.

等把事情办齐，晌午了。她又到庙里看了看，和尚正在吃粥。好大一个“膳堂”，坐得下八百个和尚。吃粥也有这样多讲究：正面法座上摆着两个锡胆瓶，里面插着红绒花，后面盘膝坐着一个穿了大红满金绣袈裟的和尚，手里拿了戒尺。这戒尺是要打人的。哪个和尚吃粥吃出了声音，他下来就是一戒尺。不过他并不真的打人，只是做个样子。真稀奇，那么多的和尚吃粥，竟然不出一点声音！她看见明子也坐在里面，想跟他打个招呼又不好打。想了想。管他禁止不禁止喧哗，就大声喊了一句：“我走啦！”她看见明子目不斜视地微微点了点头，就不管很多人都朝自己看，大摇大摆地走了。

Three days later in the early morning Xiaoyingzi went to see Mingzi again. She knew that he had become a real monk the night before at midnight. In order to prevent this from being seen by outsiders, it was usually done at midnight. She knew that his hair had been cut by an old barber and his crown shaved as smooth as a ball, otherwise the burning would leave a big scar instead of just a dot. Then the old monk smeared twelve dots of date paste on his crown and lit them with joss-sticks. Immediately after that, Mingzi had to drink a bowl of mushroom soup to inflame the scars on his head and walk around instead of lying down. Mingzi had told her about that.

Xiaoyingzi saw that the new monks were really walking around the waste ground near the city wall, all wearing greyish-blue Buddhist robes. Each had twelve black spots on their bald heads. These would become tiny round scars only after the scabs had fallen off. Judging by the smiles on their faces, they seemed very happy. At the first glance, she easily spotted Mingzi among them. She shouted to him from across the moat, "Hi, Mingzi!"

"Oh, Xiaoyingzi!"

"Have you been initiated?"

"Yes, I have."

"Did it hurt much?"

"Yes."

第四天一大清早小英子就去看明子。她知道明子受戒是第三天半夜——烧戒疤是不许人看的。她知道要请老剃头师傅剃头，要剃得横摸顺摸都摸不出头发茬子，要不然一烧，就会“走”了戒，烧成了一片。她知道是用枣泥子先点在头皮上，然后用香头子点着。她知道烧了戒疤就喝一碗蘑菇汤，让它“发”，还不能躺下，要不停地走动，叫做“散戒”。这些都是明子告诉她的。明子是听舅舅说的。

她一看，和尚真在那里“散戒”，在城墙根底下的荒地里。一个一个，穿了新海青，光光的头皮上都有十二个黑点子。——这黑疤掉了，才会露出白白的、圆圆的“戒疤”。和尚都笑嘻嘻的，好像很高兴。她一眼就看见了明子。隔着一条护城河，就喊他：

“明子！”

“小英子！”

“你受了戒啦？”

“受了。”

“疼吗？”

“疼。”

"Does it still hurt?"

"Not now!"

"When will you come back?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"Morning or afternoon?"

"Afternoon."

"I'll come to fetch you!"

"Good!"

...

Xiaoyingzi met him with the boat and helped him get in.

It had grown hotter. Xiaoyingzi had put on a white linen blouse, a pair of black silk trousers and straw sandals. On one side of her hair she wore a cape jasmine blossom, on the other a pomegranate flower. Seeing that Mingzi wore a new grey Buddhist robe with the white collar of his shirt exposed, she urged him, "Take off your robe right now! Aren't you hot?"

Each of them took an oar. Xiaoyingzi began to row in the middle of the boat, Mingzi at the stern.

“现在还疼吗？”

“现在疼过去了。”

“你哪天回去？”

“后天。”

“上午？下午？”

“下午。”

“我来接你！”

“好！”

…… ……

小英子把明海接上船。

小英子这天穿了一件细白夏布上衣，下边是黑洋纱的裤子，赤脚穿了一双龙须草的细草鞋，头上一边插着一朵栀子花，一边插着一朵石榴花。她看见明子穿了新海青，里面露出短褂子的白领子，就说：“把你那外面的一件脱了，你不热呀！”

他们一人一把桨。小英子在中舱，明子扳艄，在船尾。

On their way, she questioned him as if they had been separated for a whole year. She asked him whether any monk had wept or cried out during the burning. He replied that no one had said anything, except a monk from Shandong who cursed, "You bastards! I won't be burned any more! "

She asked if there was anything special about the face and voice of the abbot.

"Yes."

"They say his bedroom is more beautiful than a young girl's. Is it true?"

"Yes, it's true. Everything is embroidered with flowers."

"Is it perfumed?"

"Yes, he burns a rare incense. It's very expensive."

"They say he composes poetry, paints and is good at calligraphy. Is that so?"

"Yes. Those big characters engraved on the bricks on both sides of the corridor were written by him."

"It is true he had a concubine?"

"Yes."

"Is she only nineteen?"

她一路问了明子很多话，好像一年没有看见了。她问，烧戒疤的时候，有人哭吗？喊吗？明子说，没有人哭，只是不住地念佛。有个山东和尚骂人：“俺日你奶奶！俺不烧了！”

她问善因寺的方丈石桥是相貌和声音都很出众吗？

“是的。”

“说他的方丈比小姐的绣房还讲究？”

“讲究。什么东西都是绣花的。”

“他屋里很香？”

“很香。他烧的是伽楠香，贵得很。”

“听说他会做诗，会画画，会写字？”

“会。庙里走廊两头的砖额上，都刻着他写的大字。”

“他是有个小老婆吗？”

“有一个。”

“才十九岁？”

"I heard so."

"Is she pretty?"

"They say she is."

"Did you see her?"

"No, how could I? I was kept in a room all day long."

Mingzi informed her that he had been told by an old monk that Shanyin Temple intended to choose him as a tail-Samir, but this had not been finally decided because the monk responsible had not returned.

"What does tail-Samir mean?"

"Whenever a Buddhist service is held, they have to choose two monks to be the head-Samir and the other the tail-Samir. The former is more experienced and able to chant a great deal of the Buddhist scriptures; the latter must be young, clever and handsome."

"What's the difference between an ordinary monk and the tail-Samir?"

"Both the tail-Samir and the head-Samir have the possibility of becoming an abbot in future. When the present abbot retires, either of them can take his place. The present abbot was a tail-Samir before. "

“听说。”

“好看吗？”

“都说好看。”

“你没看见？”

“我怎么会看见？我关在庙里。”

明子告诉她，善因寺一个老和尚告诉他，寺里有意选他当沙弥尾，不过还没有定，要等主事的和尚商议。

“什么叫‘沙弥尾’?"

“放一堂戒，要选出一个沙弥头，一个沙弥尾。沙弥头要老成，要会念很多经。沙弥尾要年轻，聪明，相貌好。”

“当了沙弥尾跟别的和尚有什么不同？”

“沙弥头，沙弥尾，将来都能当方丈。现在的方丈退居了，就当。石桥原来就是沙弥尾。”

"Will you be a tail-Samir?"

"I don't know yet."

"Will you be in charge of Shanyin Temple as soon as you've become an abbot? Oh, what a large temple you'll run!"

"It's too early to talk like that."

After rowing for a while, she said to Mingzi in earnest, "You mustn't be an abbot!"

"All right, I won't."

"And you mustn't be a tail-Samir either."

"OK, I won't."

After they had rowed a little further the reed marshes appeared before them.

Xiaoyingzi suddenly put down her oar and went to the stern, whispering in his ear, "I'll be your wife. Do you agree?"

Miangzi stared at her in astonishment.

"Answer me, quickly!"

"Um ..." he replied.

"What does that mean? Do you want me? Do you?"

“你当沙弥尾吗？”

“还不一定哪。”

“你当方丈，管善因寺？管这么大一个庙？!"

“还早呐！”

划了一气，小英子说：“你不要当方丈！”

“好，不当。”

“你也不要当沙弥尾！”

“好，不当。”

又划了一气，看见那一片芦花荡子了。

小英子忽然把桨放下，走到船尾，趴在明子的耳朵旁边，小声地说：“我给你当老婆，你要不要？”

明子眼睛鼓得大大的。

“你说话呀！”

明子说：“嗯。”

“什么叫‘嗯’呀！要不要，要不要？”

"Yes, I want you!" he shouted.

"What are you shouting for?"

"I want you!" he said again in a low voice.

"Row quickly!"

Xiaoyingzi hopped back to her seat. Both rowed as fast as they could; the boat sped into the reeds.

The reeds had greyish-purple tassels, soft and smooth like rings of shining silk thread. In some places, they had grown spikes like small red candles. On the water surface, there were duckweeds, blue and purple in colour and long-legged mosquitoes and water spiders. The little white flowers of the wild water chestnuts had already blossomed. Then a lapwing, startled, flapped its wings and flew away across the reeds to a safe distance.

...

明子大声地说：“要！”

“你喊什么！”

明子小小声说：“要——!"

“快点划！”

英子跳到中舱，两只桨飞快地划起来，划进了芦花荡。

芦花才吐新穗。紫灰色的芦穗，发着银光，软软的，滑溜溜的，像一串丝线。有的地方结了蒲棒，通红的，像一支一支小蜡烛。青浮萍，紫浮萍。长脚蚊子，水蜘蛛。野菱角开着四瓣的小白花。惊起一只青桩（一种水鸟），擦着芦穗，扑鲁鲁鲁飞远了。

…… ……

Translated by Hu Zhihui

一九八○年八月十二日，
写四三年前的一个梦。