Shutter: The Complete Series (12 page)

I pull back, taking time to run the tip of my tongue along the head of his cock. As my mouth sucks and teases, I hear his soft moans filling the air. With the growing moans come slight thrusts from his hips, moving in perfect time with my mouth. I can’t tell if I’m sucking him off, or if he’s fucking my mouth, but either way we’re equally committed to the act. His hand moves up and fists in my hair, guiding my head to a faster pace. Although I’m not ashamed to admit I’ve given my fair share of blowjobs, never has one felt so intimate, so wanted. The heaviness between my legs returns as my wetness grows.

“Oh fuck,” Niko grunts, and then his motions still.

His hands grip my shoulders, and he lifts me from my knees and onto the bed. He grasps my ass tightly, and I’m hit with a sharp pleasure as he slams inside me. My back arches and a wave of ecstasy shoots through my body. Even in my frenzied state, the skin-to-skin contact registers, and I know he isn’t wearing a condom. Luckily, I know my current state of birth control and his habitual habit of wearing a condom so I push it to the back of my mind.

Unlike before, he thrusts into me, increasing speed each time. I can feel myself unraveling under his expert touch, and he’s leading me rapidly to the edge of my climax. My eyes clamp shut; my entire body begins to tighten as I feel it growing near.

“Do not come until I say; your pleasure belongs to me,” he rasps stilling completely with his cock buried deep inside me.

I open my eyes and try to look at him, but I still can’t see his face through the darkness. He doesn’t say another word; he stays perfectly still, his heaving chest his only movement. I squirm from the subdued contact, and my clit rubs against his pelvic bone. I moan.

He moves out of me so slowly I can hear the splintering sound of my defenses as they break.

“Niko—” I start to plead with him, but he slams back inside me before I can finish.

“Not until I say,” He snaps as he again withdraws from inside me at a slow, tortuous pace.

I know I can’t fight him; he has me under his spell. Submitting to his hold on me, I relax and let him have total control of our pleasure.

In and out, in and out. I lose count of the number of thrusts deep inside me. I force myself to relax and simply enjoy, but even still I can feel the fire blazing inside me. Finally, his pace quickens and his breath becomes labored. He pulls my body to the edge of the bed, pulling my hips up his thighs, angling me to delve even deeper.

“Almost there,” he grunts between exhales.

His thumb finds my tender clit and circles frantically. My back arches at the start of an intense climax, beginning to roll through me, but I try to ward it off until I’m allowed.

“Come for me,” he finally says at the perfect moment, and I let the waves break free.

His passionate grunts fall in perfect time with my pleasured screams and we come together.

Chapter 4

I wake to a bright, sunny room. The tender muscles between my legs sends the activities of last night crashing through my mind. I sit straight up and look around the room. There is no evidence of him. The only things out of place are my clothes scattered at the side of the bed. My shirt and pants, but no ripped panties. I distinctively remember him tearing my panties from my body before my glorious orgasm.

No Niko. He has already gone, but I don’t know when he left. After we came together last night, he curled his body around mine and lay with me. I drifted in and out of sleep, the whole time feeling his deft fingers caressing up and down my arm, my waist, and my hip. The methodical pattern he took lulled me to sleep then brought me back to him again. At some point, I obviously drifted deep and never woke back to him.

Even though I know there won’t be one, my eyes search the room for a note. A few words from him that might give me a small indication of his thoughts, his intentions. I’m not surprised when I don’t find one.

Was this just a goodbye fuck? One last romp before I’m locked up, and he helps throw away the key? Whatever it was, I can’t blame him for ditching me and never looking back.

I stare at the ceiling, finding a single wet stain directly above my head. My mind wonders to how long it’s been there. When was the last time it rained enough that it would leak? Has it slowly spread from a single drop of rain creating a newfound path to traverse that allowed other drops to follow? Or has it always been there, but I’ve never taken the time to notice it because I was also so engrossed in my own exploits?

My veins run cold at the thought of all I’ve missed because I spent so much time obsessing about Niko. I tear the covers back and leap from my bed and throw clothes over my naked body; a new plan cementing in my heart—get rid of all things Niko; purge him from my life.

We’re cursed, poison to each other and I can’t allow him, or even the thought of him, to continue to rule my life. I’ve spent far too long following him and allowing a man that doesn’t even care for me to decide my fate.

If I ever want happiness, I need to find it and grasp it for myself.

***

It’s been hours since I awoke with Niko gone. The more time that ticks by, the angrier I become. We’re in this mess because of me, and my own actions, but he couldn’t leave it alone. He had to mess with my head; he had to sneak into my house and fill me with passion and hope.

I sit on the floor surrounded by everything I have of Niko: pictures I took of him, pictures others took of me, even the picture that somehow got left behind by the police of me perched in the trees outside his house.

I’ve been staring at them for hours, trying to remember a time when he wasn’t the center of my world. I don’t want him to be part of my world any longer. My obsession with him has brought enough pain and suffering to everyone around me.

I look around for something large to carry everything in, my eyes landing on my large laundry hamper just inside the bathroom. Dumping all the clothes out, I scoop up the pictures and toss them into the hamper. It takes all my willpower to continue, but I heft the hamper out front door and across the backyard to Brock’s fire pit.

The flames almost reach the top of my head after I pour fire starter on them and watch them burn. I started out looking at each one as I dropped it in the pit, my fingers slowly caressing over the lines of his face, remembering what they felt like against my skin, but those thoughts had me second-guessing my current trajectory, so I stopped and simply dumped them in with one fell swoop.

The heat from the flames singes my skin, but if I lose an eyebrow in this process, it’ll be worth it.

“What the fuck are you doing?” a male voice calls from the other side of the flames. I can’t make out whom it belongs to because of the loud cracking of the fire.

Taking several steps around the side of the fire pit, I bump into Paul, his hands coming to my shoulders to steady me from our impact.

“Have you lost your ever-lovin’ mind? I can see those flames from the street.”

I smile at him; I’ve missed him. We’ve haven’t seen each other in well over a week—my brilliant attempt at shielding him from my wrong doings.

“A burning ritual,” I say, as if that’s excuse enough.

“Brock is gonna have your ass when he sees this,” he states plainly.

“I don’t care. I’m done caring about how what I do effects everyone else,” I tell him, looking him straight in the eyes and hoping he can see the resolve in my stare.

“Well, it’s about fucking time.” He laughs and wraps his arms around me tightly. “I’ve been waiting for my Brook to show back up; I was starting to think she was gone for good.”

I laugh with him and it feels good, like a million pounds has been lifted from my shoulders and now I’m light and airy.

“She’s only been gone for a couple weeks, Paul. You kinda gave up on her quickly, don’t ya think?” I ask, and I’m sure I have a twinkle in my eyes, one he probably hasn’t seen in a long time.

“Shit, sweetie, you’ve been gone for years,” he tells me in a low voice, like his soft tone will cushion his words.

“What?” I blanch.

“The Brook I see in your eyes right now hasn’t been here since…well, since Stephen left.”

My heart jumps at his words.

“Stephen?” I ask on a whisper.

“Years, my darling, she’s been gone for years.” He pushes my hair off my shoulder with his fingertips then pulls me into a tight hug. “You smell like sex,” he shrieks and pulls back from me.

“What? No I don’t.”

“Yes, you fucking do. You got laid last night,” he declares. “I can smell it on your skin. I smell sweaty man, and we both know I can smell man from a mile away.”

“You’re losing your touch, then; all I smell like is burning resolve.”

“Yeah, you also smell like smoke, but there’s still a hint of man under that thick grime.” He raises his eyebrows, “So what man do I smell on you?” He dips his nose to the top of my head and sniffs dramatically.

“Stop it.” I slap at his chest, pushing him away.

***

The flames start to die down just as I finish telling him about coming home to find Niko in my house and all the fun activities that followed.

“Wait, where did you go after the court house? Why did you get home so late?” he asks, immediately finding the flaw in my story.

“I was with Stephen,” I admit and squint my eyes, ready for him to berate me.

“Stephen?” He scoffs, his voice several octaves higher than even a dog can hear. “Stephen Ami?”

“Yes. What other Stephen would I be with?” I say and roll my eyes.

“Don’t give me attitude, little missy. What the fuck were you doing with him? What possible reason do you have to even grace him with your presence? What the actual fuck were you thinking?” He’s talking so fast I can barely understand his words; they’re all just syllables smashed together creating jumbled sounds.

“Well, I actually ran into him when I went out with Niko a couple weeks ago—the night everything went to shit. He owns the club Niko took me to, that’s where I first ran into him.”

“Why didn’t you tell me about this?” he demands.

“I’ve kinda had a lot going on since then, and I didn’t find it all that important to my current problem of possibly spending the next few years of my life in jail,” I remind him.

“So you went back to his club last night?” He motions his hand for me to keep on with the story and stop whining.

“No, he was at the courthouse. He hired me a lawyer; a really great lawyer, actually.”

“Oh snap, no he didn’t. He still loves you, I knew it!”

“Actually, yes, he does.” Paul’s mouth drops open, but he doesn’t speak. “After the courthouse we went back to his house, and he told me leaving me was a mistake, and he wishes he could take it back.”

He covers his gaping mouth with is hands and a small poof sound comes out.

 “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you at a loss for words.”

He blinks rapidly for several seconds then closes his eyes completely, places his other hand to his chest, and takes a deep breath.

“I think hell just froze over; I’m completely stunned. And I have absolutely no words,” he finally admits.

I laugh while he rolls his eyes at me.

“Wait—what did you say when he told you he still loved you?”

“Umm, well I told him that I loved him then, too…then I kind of ran away,” I admit sheepishly.

“You ran away? Like just bolted from his house?”

I nod and try to stop the laughter threatening to break free.

“How did you get home?” he asks, because obviously that minor detail is the most important event that happened last night.

“I walked for a while then called a cab.”

“So in the span of one night, the ex-love of your life declares his undying love for you, and your ex-obsession sneaks into your house and has mad passionate sex with you? Did I miss anything?” He smirks at me.

“Umm, no, I think that about covers my night,” I confirm.

“Okay, just as long as I’m on the right page,” he says with a hint of humor.

“Yes, I think you are.”

“So…what do you plan to do about all this?”

“Lunch. I plan to go eat lunch.” I uncross my legs and stand. “Would you like to join me?”

He looks at his overpriced watch and glares at me. “It’s almost dinner time,” he states dryly.

“Then…dinner, I plan to go eat dinner,” I correct myself. “You don’t have to come with me, it’s completely understandable if you don’t want to.” My fear that he wants to avoid being seen with me publicly is just under the surface. I know Paul would never abandon me, but I can’t expect him to outwardly support me when it could damage his career.

“Of course I’m coming with you. Who do I look like…Brock?”

“No, no actually you don’t look anything like Brock. You’re much better looking.” I lean forward and kiss him on the cheek.

“Stop trying to flatter me, I have no plans to declare my unfaltering commitment to you tonight. You seem to already have two men fighting for that position.”

“Shut up.” I slap him lightly on the cheek I just kissed.

“Go get dressed, and let’s paint this town red.”

I turn to leave and he slaps my ass, a loud smack echoing through the courtyard.

“Hey, you better watch it. No spankings unless you intend to follow them up with the appropriate actions.”

“Girlfriend, I wouldn’t even know where to begin with the likes of you,” he says and winks at me. “Now hurry up while I make sure all this evidence has thoroughly burned.”

I rush into the house and turn the shower on hot, hoping the steam will help wash away any lingering thoughts or feelings of Niko. I imagine the soap washing away all remnants of him that might try to cling. I wash every inch of my body and relish the scalding water as it turns my skin a nice, deep pink.

I twist my hair into a wet bun, hoping it will dry by the time we make it to dinner, and slink into the tight, black backless dress I always wear when I need a pick-me-up. Throwing my makeup into my purse, I intend to put it on while Paul drives to dinner. My black “fuck me” pumps are calling my name, so I grab them and rush back outside.