Shutter: The Complete Series (22 page)

I feel the corners of my mouth tip up because I know my answer will not please him, “Absolutely nothing besides the address of the building.”

He rolls his eyes so feverishly, I’m afraid they might not turn back down. “That’s just fabulous. But so be it. It’s nothing complicated anyway, we’re simply shooting some manly actor for a feature interview spread for the next edition. We need three good shoots and we’ll be done.”

“What’s the interview about? Is there a theme? Anything?” I ask hoping for some small amount of guidance.

“No idea, just a standard interview we need images for,” he huffs out a long breath. “Are you okay with that?” His vile tone hangs in the air, almost threatening to slap me if I’m not.

“Of course I am. I’ll just do a variety of shots so they can have their pick.”

His thin lips purse at me, but his head bobs in agreement. Then he turns to a young woman holding a clipboard with a headset on. “Would you please let Mr. Gallo’s manager know the photographer will be ready in five minutes?”

“Excuse me?” I ask before a lump the size of Texas threatens to seize my throat. “Mr. Who?”

Completely over my questions, the slender man whips his head toward me, “Mr. Nickolas Gallo. I’m sure you’ve heard of him, that’s who you have the pleasure of photographing today. This is probably a big deal for someone like you, so I suggest you bring your A game.”

My brow furrows at his shitty attitude, and the fact that he so easily looks down on me, not even knowing the first thing about me, but I obviously have bigger things to worry about. I can’t photograph Niko, no way in hell. I’m just figuring things out, finding who I am again with a camera in my hands. I cannot jeopardize what little clarity I’ve found.

I pull my phone from my back pocket and call Kiki. It rings…and rings…and rings before finally going to her voicemail. One thing I learned the first day working with Kiki is that she never checks her voicemail, if someone needs her bad enough they will call back, but I also know she always has her phone, so if you get her voicemail it’s because she’s screening your call.

That bitch knew all along who she was sending me here to shoot. She only pretended not to know so I wouldn’t refuse her, which I damn well would have done. Just when I was starting to trust her and think I had found my place again, the same deceit that pushed me out shows back up in the form of a perky fashion editor…and slender set assistant as well.

Since she won’t answer my call I send her a quick text message:

Can’t fucking believe you did this to me!

I hit send. Then decide I’m not quite done.

IF I actually make it through this shoot, you owe me BIG time!!!

I add the extra exclamation points just to prove how serious I am about being pissed at her. I don’t expect to hear back, mostly because I assume she has a spy here watching my every move. So I decide on another strategy.

“Umm excuse me…” I call after the slender guy whose name I still haven’t been given…or asked for.

He turns to leer at me with an increased level of disdain etched on his face, “Yeesss?” He says in a condescending singsong voice.

“I would like to speak with Mr. Gallo before we being shooting. Could you please have him come out while I set up my equipment?”

“Are you serious? This isn’t social hour. If you’d like to get his autograph you can do it once we’ve finished…I mean really!” Both of his hands float in the air just above his head, his way of emphasizing his frustration. However, it’s just increasing his cartoonish appearance even more.

“Yes, I am serious,” I respond with a straight face and turn to set-up my camera on the tripod in front of the white backdrop.

He mumbles under his breath, and I’m positive not being able to hear what he’s saying is a blessing. His helper speaks into her headset, and butterflies appear in my stomach, but I don’t know why I’m nervous. It’s Niko; I just shoved my hand down his pants the night before while he all but confessed his love for me…so why are my insides twisting at the thought of seeing him? Then I remember ending my night with someone else’s tongue between my legs and the nervousness makes complete sense.

Slender man and helper-ette position themselves near a set of swinging double doors, and I can’t keep my eyes from finding their way to them as well. I know he’s back there, and I wonder if he knows I’m here. What will he do when he sees me?

The doors fly open causing a loud bang as they collide with the wall. A tall man I know is Niko’s manager enters the room with his cell phone glued to his ear and his voice booming over every other conversation in the room. His eyes scan over all the faces, but he doesn’t focus on any one, instead he finds an empty corner across the room and beelines for it.

Niko floats through the door a few seconds after him. He’s dressed in dark, ragged jeans and a plain black t-shirt, exactly what he wears ninety-nine percent of the time. His eyes don’t search the room; they immediately come to me and don’t waver. I can’t read his face; he doesn’t look surprised, excited, or even disappointed to see me. He just looks determined to reach me.

“You came!” he exclaims as he finally draws near me, and as the words leave his mouth a calmness touches his eyes.

“You knew I’d be here?”

His eyes squint slightly at my question, “Well, yes, I told Kiki I wouldn’t do the shoot with anyone except you.”

“Of course you did,” I say as I shake my head at Kiki’s lies.

“What’s going on? You didn’t know that?” The calmness is quickly replaced with a sad confusion I don’t like seeing.

I exhale slowly vowing to be honest with him from here on out, honest with myself and him. Both of us are suffering, as is Stephen, and it’s all because of me.

“No, I didn’t know until I got here. Kiki told me another photographer couldn’t be here, and she didn’t know who the shoot was for.”

“Well, that was a terrible lie, Kiki knows everything goes on at InTune.” The corners of his lips turn up, and I don’t know if the fact I’m that gullible is humorous to him, or if it’s just the fact we’re actually talking like grownups.

“Yeah, well, here I am.” I lift my hands like I’m presenting myself to him.

“I see that, and so am I, so what are you gonna do with me now?” He lifts one eyebrow and his lips smirk in that sexy way only ornery men know.

We both laugh; it starts out as a slow chuckle and then simultaneously builds into full force belly laughing from both of us. I clutch my stomach as my eyes begin to tear.

Through the wetness I can see slender man approaching us and I’d bet a million bucks he’s perturbed we’re laughing.

“Mr. Gallo, is everything all right?” slender man asks softly to Niko, trying hard to exclude me from the conversation.

I hear Niko slap him on the back through his laughing fit and finally speak, “Sure man, can’t you tell everything’s perfect?”

He’s words fly through the air, penetrate my chest, and plant directly in my heart. “Everything’s perfect,” he said, and for the first time in weeks I agree.

Chapter 7

“Let’s get some more candid shots now,” I tell Niko, the rest of the crew having become nothing but background noise.

“Just tell me what you have in mind, I’m all yours,” he says with a smile and wink.

He knows the winking gets me every time, and he’s been doing it since the moment I pointed the camera at him. We started with him in front of the plain white backdrop because it’s simple and focuses all the attention on the main subject. It doesn’t hurt when the main subject also knows he’s hot, and the posing becomes unnecessary and more like a dance between him and me.

Honestly that’s what it’s been, more like a lengthy act of foreplay than a photo shoot. I can feel my legs grow weak when he gives me that look, like he wants to rip my clothes off. That’s not something that can be faked for the sake of the camera. Even when he smiles there’s a hidden agenda in the crook of his eyebrow and the tilt of his lips.

Every inch of my skin is on fire and needy, and I know the lightest brush or sensation will send me over the edge. One long tease-a-thon with Niko as the bait; that’s what I’ve gotten myself in to. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t enjoying myself. This kind of easygoing playfulness is a side of Niko I haven’t been able to experience often, and I know I’d like to see more of it.

“We’re going to get some shots outside, we don’t need any assistance,” I shout over my shoulder to slender man whose been giving me the evil eye the entire time.

“What? You’re going outside?” he yells in my direction then turns to Niko. “Mr. Gallo, that was not part of the agreement, you don’t have to do that.”

“No, we’re fine,” Niko tells him flatly as we pass by the murmuring group in the center of the room, and I snatch up my camera bag.

Once we’re in the elevator I feel the sparks bouncing back and forth between us even though he’s on the opposite side, as far away as he can get. His eyes move to the side and sneak a peek at me, and that’s when I know he can feel it, too.

“This is nice, I’m glad you’re here,” he tells me then takes two side steps toward me.

“It is,” I admit and take one side step toward him then pause.

He doesn’t speak; he simply takes the last step toward me as we both turn to face each other. His hands thread through my hair at the base of my neck, tilting it up toward him. Our bodies collide, and then he dips his head down until his lips are less than an inch from mine.

“I was so afraid you wouldn’t come. I needed to see you so badly, everything dies away when you’re not with me.” His voice is soft, yet I can feel every syllable he utters rush to my core, further fortifying the need I have for him.

“I’m here, and I can say without a doubt there’s no place I’d rather be,” I tell him honestly.

I feel his mouth growing closer to mine; my tongue swipes across my bottom lip in anticipation of his taste. The elevator dings and the doors fly open releasing all the pent up sexual tension into the empty lobby.

His eyes light with a smile then he dips the remaining distance and lightly brushes his lips against mine before pulling me by my hand to follow. My lungs have seized and refuse to draw in air. I just kissed him last night, several times, but today something has changed. Some blockade inside my heart has been knocked down, allowing me to truly feel everything that is Niko, every single emotion that ties him to my heart.

Tragically, I know Stephen is the reason I was able to let loose of what held me. I know his words convinced me I owed myself a chance to be happy, no matter who it was with, but all along Niko was the one that haunted my heart, and the one that will help me find forgiveness and the trust in myself I’ve lost.

My feet halt, forcing Niko’s hand from mine as he walks a couple more steps. I feel the loss of his touch slowly then in a rush of cool air, knowing after what I have to tell him I may never feel it again. There’s no sense in continuing to experience the love I could have with him before I confess my sins and know where we stand.

“I have to tell you something,” I say with a scared voice I haven’t heard from my lips in a long time. Fresh tears sting my eyes and tighten my throat, cutting off my voice.

He turns to me, and his eyes search my face then soften. “Babe, you can tell me anything, but no matter what it is, nothing will change the way I feel about you.” He palms my jaw and swipes his thumb across my cheek. “Nothing.”

I lean into his touch then pull away swiftly, “No, I have to tell you, but you can’t touch me while I do.”

I turn to look out the glass doors, and though I should regret what I did with Stephen last night, I know it’s also what helped bring me back to a place where I can see a future with Niko.

“Last night, after I left the club,” I say on an airy breath of lamenting. “The driver took me to Stephen’s. I was upset; distraught because I couldn’t see a way we could be together. Finding forgiveness was lost to me.”

The tears had held on too long, and now flow from my eyes and drip from my face to the floor.

“Brook—” he tries to speak, but I can’t bear to hear his voice. I lift my hand to cut off his words.

“Let me finish, please.” I inhale deeply searching for the strength to tell him. “I thought all was lost, but Stephen helped me see I was just confused, and not accepting what I could truly have. Then things progressed, and it wasn’t until then, at the prospect of never being intimate with you again, of losing you forever, that I could finally see we were worth fighting for. I told you last night that there’d been no one else, and at the time, that was the truth.”

“You don’t owe me an explanation. I sure as hell don’t like it, but if it helped you be open to the chance of us again, then I’m not going to focus on it.”

I turn to look at him, and all I see is honest resolve on his face. No regret or blame, just love.

“We didn’t have sex, it didn’t go that far.”

He nods and relief touches his lips as they curve slightly.

“Good to know,” he adds then pulls me in an embrace. “Like I said, nothing will change how I feel about you. I fucking hate the idea of another man with you, but until we make a promise to each other, I can’t very well stop you.”

“I know, but it doesn’t change the regret I feel.”

“We have no time for regrets, babe; we only have time for us.”

***

“So tell me about them? Do you see them often?” Niko asks, and it’s only one of the thousands of questions we’ve been throwing at each other as we walk the streets.

“Wait! Right there,” I say and push him against a brick wall between a pile of discarded wood and the rustiest dumpster I’ve ever seen.

“Seriously a dumpster?” He raises his eyebrows at me.

“It’s a very chic dumpster, now shut it and look mysterious. Like you’re contemplating what the elusive smell is coming from this very attractive looking trash heap.”

He turns his head toward the dumpster, his eyes squint quizzically, and it’s actually fucking hot. I click a hand full of shots before I answer his initial questions.

“Not often. My parents moved to New York years ago, and we weren’t ever that close anyway. Brock and I leaned on each other more than anyone else while we were growing up. Though, I think Brock is probably closer to them now than I am.” His gaze finds mine and we begin walking back down the empty street. “Actually, now that I think about it, I haven’t spoken to them in a couple months. I guess I’ve had other things on my mind recently.” I elbow him in the side and he mocks pain.