Signs (19 page)

Caleb immediately shrieked and rolled over, trying to get away, but Luc wasn’t going to let go that easily and followed, rolling on top now and laughing at Caleb’s attempts to escape. They ended up with their positions reversed, Luc on top with Caleb stretched out beneath him. He didn’t exactly hate the position, even though it wasn’t his favorite.

There was no stopping the roll of emotion in Luc’s belly. He thought it was probably a combination of love and lust and affection, the bone-deep friendship that bound them together. He cherished each of those things individually. Then sometimes when they all clashed together it was overwhelming.

“I love you,” Luc said, reaching down to smooth Caleb’s hair back from his face.

“
I love you too
.”

Luc smiled, slow and easy, feeling satisfyingly content. He pulled the camera toward them and gave it back to Caleb.

“Like this,” he said.

Caleb took the camera with trembling fingers, and Luc looked down into the lens intently, wanting everything he was scared of saying to show on his face. Caleb took one more picture, then turned the camera off, setting it on his nightstand.

“Do you want?” Luc asked.

For a moment Caleb didn’t reply. Then he crashed his lips up against Luc’s and all of the strange, built-up tension that had been growing between them. Underwear alone wasn’t enough to contain their erections, and Caleb rocked his hips hard, bringing their straining cocks together through the layers of fabric.

Taking Caleb’s hips in his hands, Luc licked a wet stripe up his neck and finished by nibbling on his earlobe. They could totally do this—rocking and grinding and licking and kissing—until one or both of them came in their boxers. But Caleb had other plans.

There was a padded envelope in Caleb’s nightstand, a package that had been ordered from the Internet. He reached in and took a condom from the box and handed it to Luc.

For a moment they just looked at each other, Luc not wanting to make assumptions as to what Caleb was suggesting. Then Caleb moved away, opened his legs a little, and tugged at Luc’s wrist.

“You want me to… make love to you?” Luc asked.

Caleb nodded.

“Are you sure?”

“
Yes. Please
.”

They had been building up to this for a while now. For Luc, it was strange to consider reversing roles, especially since he’d partly defined his identity as a gay man by his desire to bottom. But for Caleb, Luc wanted to top. He wanted to show Caleb how amazing it felt when two people made love. He wanted to give back to his boyfriend a little bit of what Caleb had given him.

Luc took his time with the lube, carefully working one finger into Caleb’s hole while his mouth made short work of covering Caleb’s cock and thighs and balls with licks and kisses. He played with one finger until one was definitely not enough. Then he started swapping his first finger for the middle one and back again, until Caleb was ready for two.

This preparation couldn’t be rushed; Luc knew that from experience. And he knew too that taking their time at the beginning would be so worthwhile when they got on with it. Later.

Caleb reached for Luc a few times, wanting to share in these incredible sensations, but Luc held back, wanting to be the instigator and the one who got to worship the body underneath him. There was no point in denying some things were broken. Nevertheless, it was still perfect.

Luc had never quite got used to the clean, all-over tan Caleb managed to keep year-round, or the fine golden hairs that covered his legs and arms and part of his chest too. That wasn’t a look he wanted on himself. He went to far too much trouble to make his body smooth and hair free. On Caleb, it was different.

When Caleb started to whimper and buck up into Luc’s touch, Luc curved his fingers and pushed them in deep, finding the sweet spot that was the source of so much pleasure on his own body. He watched, delighted, as Caleb arched and practically screamed.

Luc made quick work of the condom and lined his body up, wanting to take advantage of the high Caleb was riding. He had a feeling it wasn’t going to last long.

As someone who had concentrated his sexual focus on the prospect of getting fucked, being the one doing the penetrating felt slightly off. He had no frame of reference as to what he was supposed to feel, what it should be like for him in this position. Because of that he was totally unprepared for how fucking
good
it felt when the heat of Caleb’s body gripped his own, dragging him in deeper when he knew he should wait.

Caleb’s hands were bunched in his sheets, holding on for dear life. His eyes were screwed shut, and his mouth was open, panting hard as he adjusted.

“Caleb,” Luc said, surprised at how his voice sounded. Then he tapped Caleb’s leg. “Baby. You okay?”

Caleb nodded quickly and grabbed hold of Luc’s arms, pulling him down roughly so they could share hot, deep, searching kisses. The change in position made Caleb grunt and moan, and Luc wondered if they should stop, if he needed to give Caleb more time.

He held his body as still as possible until Caleb started to work himself back and forth, encouraging more of Luc’s cock into his own body. With his head a cloudy mess, unable to discern reasonable thought from emotion-fuelled lust, Luc let Caleb guide him and found a careful rhythm of back and forth, give and take.

If Luc had thought Caleb could be loud when he was the one doing the fucking, it was nothing compared to the noise he made while being fucked. Long, slow groans and short, desperate gasps were punctuated with deep grunts or little squeaks of pleasure when Luc was able to guide himself over Caleb’s sweet spot.

Once they were comfortable, Luc started to increase the speed of his thrusts and found Caleb’s lips for hot, openmouthed kisses where they could lick at each other’s tongues and swallow each cry of pleasure. Luc had never imagined that Caleb would enjoy this so much. He buried his face in Caleb’s neck and groaned, feeling like the sound was coming right from his toes.

C
ALEB
HAD
been thinking about this for weeks. About Luc’s body, his kisses, the way they fit together. The other way they could fit together, if Luc agreed. He hadn’t shared it with his boyfriend, mostly out of embarrassment, but he wanted to know what it felt like and had experimented some with his own body, just to see. Having Luc inside him was something else entirely. He felt full and stretched and… taken, like his body was being cared for and overpowered at the same time. It was a heady combination.

His fingers curled around Luc’s upper arms, gently squeezing the muscles there, surprisingly defined for a person as slim and lithe as Luc. He rocked his hips up into each thrust, his body aching and sore already but demanding more of the sweet torture.

Luc’s lips skimmed up the side of Caleb’s neck, and he nuzzled into the space below Caleb’s ear, then kissed across his cheek. Caleb’s lips parted easily, and their tongues slid together, slow and deep, demanding and taking at the same time. With his eyes screwed shut, Caleb’s world closed in on Luc’s body and the sheets under his back.

When things got too much and he was right there, right on the edge, Caleb reached up again and squeezed Luc’s arm in warning, then took his cock in his hand and pulled on it until his orgasm overwhelmed his whole body. Having Luc inside him—
inside him
—when he came changed everything.

As the trembling shocks of pleasure started to subside, Caleb put his hand on Luc’s lower back, and Luc realized he was coming too. They clung to each other, draining the pleasure from each other’s bodies until there was nothing left. Nothing at all.

Luc turned Caleb’s hand over so the palm was facing upward and firmly traced three letters with his finger—W-O-W. From his position, with his head on Caleb’s chest, he could feel the soft chuckle that was Caleb’s response. Luc yawned widely and kicked his feet about until he caught hold of the blanket, then pulled that up over the both of them. He wasn’t bothered about moving from this position. In fact, it felt quite perfect.

15. RETREAT

L
UC
WAS
lying on his bed, sprawled on his back, definitely
not
waiting to hear from Caleb. Not at all. He was listening to the most recent Black Veil Brides album and thinking about how he might try and grow his hair out like Andy’s. He wasn’t sure if he had the patience, though. He’d probably give up before it even got as far as his shoulders.

When his phone rang he jumped and scrambled to answer it.

“Hello?”

“Hello. Is this Luc?”

“This is he,” Luc said, leaning back in his desk chair. “Who’s this?”

“My name’s Carrie-Anne Stone… I’m Caleb’s mom.”

Luc sat bolt upright. “Is he okay?”

“We had the consultation today, for the cochlear implant trial.”

“Yeah. I mean, Caleb told me about it.”

“They’ve decided he’s not suitable.”

Luc froze, stunned. Caleb had been so sure he would get a place on the trial, that he would be able to hear within a few short months….

“Luc? Are you still there?”

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m here. I’m just a bit stunned.”

“We are too. Caleb… well, he hasn’t taken it well. He’s refusing to communicate at all. This doesn’t happen very often, but the last time it lasted for a few weeks, and we’re hoping… we’re hoping to pull him out of it quicker this time.”

“Can I help?”

He heard a sigh of relief down the phone. “Yes,” she said, her voice breaking a little. “Please.”

“I’ll get in the car now. I can be there in a few hours.”

“We’re more than willing to help out with the cost of gas—” she started, but Luc shook his head.

“No, it’s fine. I promise. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

There was no one else in the house. The rest of his family wasn’t likely to be home for hours. Luc scrawled a note for his sister and left it next to the fruit bowl, then grabbed his car keys and rushed out of the house. He only remembered to lock the door when he was halfway down the steps and felt a rush of frustration as he turned back, locked up, and jogged down the street to where the car was parked.

He made the four-hour drive in just over three and a half, surprised he hadn’t been pulled over for speeding and half expecting a ticket to come through the mail. All looked calm at Caleb’s house. It had grown dark while he made the drive, and the street was as neat and silent as it was the last time he was here.

As he made his way up the front path, the door opened. Caleb’s mom—Carrie-Anne—held the door open, the soft light from the hallway spilling out into the street.

“Hi,” Luc said.

“Hi,” Carrie-Anne replied with a small smile. “Thank you so much for coming.”

Luc shook his head. “I want to see him, if I can help….”

“Can we just have a few minutes to explain?” she asked as she shut the door behind him.

No
, his mind screamed. Luc clenched his teeth. “Of course.”

Caleb’s dad was sitting in a recliner in their front room but immediately stood when Luc walked through, and offered his hand for Luc to shake.

“Thanks for coming,” he said, repeating his wife’s words. “I’m Mark, Caleb’s dad.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Luc said. “What happened?”

Carrie-Anne gestured for him to sit down, and he did, reluctantly, perching on the edge of the sofa.

“Would you like a drink?” Carrie-Anne asked, fussing.

“I’m fine,” he said and forced himself to smile. “Thank you.”

“We had an appointment today with a group of specialists who are running a new trial for a cochlear implant,” Mark said, leaning forward in his seat. “We had been contacted about a year ago to say that they’d like to invite Caleb for an assessment.”

Luc nodded. Caleb had told him this much already.

“They’ve seen him twice before today, and we thought things were going well. But unfortunately they’ve decided not to take Caleb on the trial.”

“But… I don’t understand,” Luc said. “Caleb told me they thought he was the perfect candidate for surgery….”

“He is,” Carrie-Anne said. “Physically. They’ve done all the tests, and the doctors are pretty confident they can help him. That’s not the only part of the assessment, though. Psychologically and emotionally, they don’t think he’s ready.”

“This is because he doesn’t try to talk.”

Carrie-Anne nodded. “Yes.”

“That’s bullshit!” Luc said, exploding out of his seat. “Who are they to play God and decide who they help and who gets forgotten about?”

“It’s a trial, Luc,” Mark said. “They’re not under obligation to take on anyone they don’t think is suitable.”

“But he
is
,” Luc said, sinking back into the sofa. “He is ready. I know it.”

“We do too,” Carrie-Anne said, and Luc tried to ignore the tears that were threatening to spill from her eyes. “We’ve known for a long time that he might be able to have this type of treatment. But we can’t force them to do it, and we can’t afford to pay for it ourselves.”

Luc shook his head and dropped his face to his hands. “I’m sorry,” he mumbled. “I shouldn’t have—that was out of order.”

He felt the sofa shift, and then a warm arm wrap around his back. Instinctively, he turned his face against Carrie-Anne’s shoulder. She gently stroked the back of his hair, smoothing down his T-shirt, and Luc couldn’t remember the last time his own mother had offered this type of comfort. It had been a long, long time.

“It’s okay, sweetheart,” she said and dropped her cheek to rest on his head. “We’ve been through this before. I suppose we’re a little more adjusted.”

“It’s just… this would change his life, you know? For the better. And he wants it so bad, and he’s so scared of letting anyone know in case he comes across as weak or ungrateful.”

“He won’t talk to us,” Carrie-Anne said, pulling away from the embrace and letting Luc scrub his hands over his face. “I suppose you don’t talk to your mother either. It’s one of the downfalls of having a teenage son.”