Signs (7 page)

There was no way for him to tell whether Luc was sleeping yet, but Caleb wasn’t ready to let go of the day. He didn’t want to give up on whatever it was that was still fizzing away inside him.

He tried not to think about it too much as he reached down and tapped lightly on the side of the wooden bed, hoping this was enough, if Luc was awake, to get his attention. Nothing happened. He tapped lightly again, and suddenly warm fingers grasped his own.

While he was still trying to figure out what he wanted, Caleb twisted his fingers around Luc’s and tugged forward, dragging Luc up and out of his Superman sleeping bag and onto the bed. There was a soft tussle between them. Then Luc reached out and tapped his lamp once, causing it to come on dimly.

It was enough light to sign by. Caleb lifted the edge of the duvet, making room for Luc next to him.

Luc’s face was twisted into pained hesitance, and Caleb suddenly considered that maybe he had this all wrong. Just as he started to berate himself for his own stupidity, Luc shuffled closer and tugged the duvet over himself.

Since he was close enough to kiss, Caleb did. It was an awkward angle. He was leaning up and over, trying to prop himself up on an elbow while Luc reached up to meet his lips. This was a different kind of kiss from earlier. For one, they were both only wearing their pajamas. For two… Luc apparently didn’t wear pajamas. He had on a pair of tight black boxer shorts with a green glow-in-the-dark ghost pattern and, strangely, the top half of a T-shirt that was cut off at his midriff. All his smooth, pale, almost hairless skin was stretched out next to Caleb’s, making Caleb desperate to explore.

Luc pulled them both down to a more comfortable angle and resumed the slow, careful kissing. Caleb curled his hand around the sharp angle of Luc’s hip and held on there for dear life as Luc reached up to fit his own hand around the back of Caleb’s neck.

He wanted this—wanted it so bad it scared him. The sharp bite of Luc’s lip ring against his own lips was another tiny thrill, something to be cherished. It was what made kissing Luc so completely different from kissing anyone else. Not that Caleb had a lot of experience in kissing anyone at all.

When Luc licked at the seam of Caleb’s lips, silently asking for more, Caleb was more than happy to share. Luc’s tongue flicked inside, just tasting or teasing, then flicked again. Caleb was sure he was probably making an embarrassing amount of noise as his heart thudded against Luc’s chest, his fingers now desperately squeezing Luc’s hip.

He was getting hard too. Just from a kiss.

After a few minutes of this—lips smushed together, tongues working on that tantalizing slide—Luc pulled away with a breathless laugh. Caleb reached up to smooth inky black hair out of Luc’s eyes. Luc turned his face to press another kiss to the palm of Caleb’s hand.

By silent mutual agreement they didn’t resume the kissing. Instead Luc curled onto his side and grabbed hold of Caleb’s arm, pulling him into a loose spooning position. Caleb purposefully kept his hips back, not wanting to press his erection into Luc’s soft thigh.

The bed was large enough for them both to be able to stretch out, if that’s what they wanted, but Luc seemed more inclined to sleep close, sharing a pillow. As far as Caleb was concerned, that was just fine.

6. #SELFIE

T
HE
NEXT
morning wasn’t awkward at all, and Caleb had prepared for the fact that it might be. They had spoken a little about being attracted to each other, but full-on, all-out kissing was another thing entirely.

He woke early, as was his habit, secure in the knowledge of where he was and that he was safe. Caleb thought he probably woke because Luc had rolled over, and his elbow was digging hard into his ribs. Not that Caleb minded.

After a little dozing Luc seemed to wake too, rolling over and rearranging Caleb until he formed Luc’s personal pillow. After being nudged onto his back, Caleb wrapped his arm around Luc’s shoulder, secretly pleased with how neatly they fit together. Luc nuzzled into his chest, pressed a loose kiss to his skin, and then his whole body sighed and relaxed. It was adorable.

For a while Caleb just held him, then took up an easy, smooth stroking motion across Luc’s back and up into his hair. It was so warm, so startlingly intimate. Everything he hadn’t expected, or dared to expect, from this weekend.

Part of him wanted to ask Luc if they were boyfriends now, if Luc wanted to be his boyfriend. But that felt like things were moving too quickly. This was the first time they had been properly together, in person, and he didn’t want to rush anything and scare Luc off. He’d heard that could happen.

Caleb knew he would ask soon, though, if Luc didn’t ask him first. Luc was definitely bringing out a romantic side Caleb had never had the chance to explore before.

He could feel the moment Luc started to wake up properly, and Caleb paused in his stroking of Luc’s hair, unsure of whether or not his touch was a welcome one. Luc stretched like a cat and smiled, then kissed Caleb’s shoulder.

Luc twisted around, then signed a greeting. “
Good morning
.”

“
Good morning
,” Caleb signed back, grinning.

They stretched, moved, resumed position, sharing a pillow, nose to nose.

“
Did you sleep okay?
” Caleb asked.

Luc nodded and pushed the heel of his hand into one eye, then the other, smudging what was left of yesterday’s makeup. He blinked at Caleb, then smiled.

“Yeah,” he said. “I’m usually not good at sleeping. But it seems to be better when you’re here.”

Something flickered in Caleb’s belly and he nodded, afraid that if he tried to respond now, his hands wouldn’t know the right words and the moment would fall away. So he stayed still, said nothing, and smiled softly at Luc.

“Can I take a picture of us?” Luc asked.

Caleb laughed and shrugged, embarrassed. “
I don’t know
.”

“Please?” Luc asked. “Something cute. We’ve both got our photos up already, so it’s not
such
a big deal….”

That past week Caleb had, at Luc’s insistence, posted a picture of himself, a self-portrait. He’d been more nervous about that picture than any of the others, but it had prompted the nicest feedback he’d received so far.

Since Luc had a point, Caleb conceded, nodding, still feeling the heat in his cheeks. Luc whooped and grabbed Caleb’s wrist, dragging him down on the bed and arranging them. When he reached for his phone, Caleb frowned.

“
Camera
?” he signed, hoping it was self-explanatory enough that Luc would understand even if he hadn’t learned that sign yet.

Luc shook his head. “I take all my pictures with this.”

They both lay back on the bed, and Luc held the phone above them, awkwardly snapping a few pictures, then brought the phone back down to look at them. He laughed and shook his head.

“These suck,” he said.

Caleb had to agree. To save his growing embarrassment, he quickly pressed his lips to Luc’s, lingering there with his hand gently cupping Luc’s cheek.

Caleb kissed down Luc’s neck, feeling like he had the freedom to do this now, and finished with one last kiss to Luc’s shoulder. It was only when he pulled away that he realized Luc had taken more pictures while they were kissing.

Later in the day, he saw the picture posted on Luc’s Tumblr blog. Luc had chosen one of Caleb smiling, his eyes closed and his lips kiss swollen, while Luc’s forehead was resting on Caleb’s shoulder. Since they were both wearing shirts it wasn’t really obvious that they’d spent the night in the same bed, something Caleb was grateful for. He wasn’t ashamed of their relationship, but he wasn’t quite ready for everyone to know about it just yet.

They spent the afternoon together in Luc’s room, Caleb teaching Luc little bits of ASL and how to string sentences together. Luc was a fast learner, surprisingly fast, and by the time Caleb had to leave to get his train home on Sunday, Luc had learned a couple dozen new signs.

Their second day together passed too quickly, and even though Caleb thought his heart was about to burst out of his chest when he had to leave, he didn’t regret making the trip to New York. Not one little bit.

“I want to see you again,” Luc said, cradling Caleb’s face in his hands as they stood on the platform at the train station. “Soon.”

Caleb nodded.

“Next weekend.”

“
Yes
,” Caleb signed. “
If I can
.”

“Okay.” Luc leaned in again, rising on his toes to press his lips hard to Caleb’s, not caring who was watching. “Let me know when you get home.”

“
I will
.”

Caleb smiled and reluctantly pulled out of Luc’s embrace. He placed one last kiss on the end of Luc’s nose, amused when Luc wrinkled it, then sneezed. Walking away caused a physical pain in his chest. Even though he had no way of saying it, Caleb was pretty sure he was falling in love.

On the train he tried to read, to try and get ahead on an English assignment. It wasn’t easy, though, when all his thoughts seemed to be concentrated on one person. Luc was… extraordinary.

Caleb had carefully collated a folder of pictures of Luc from his blog. They were hidden away on his iPad, somewhere Luc wouldn’t accidentally stumble on them. The battery on the device was painfully low, but Caleb turned it on anyway and brought up the folder.

He felt tears stinging his eyes and refused to let them fall, finding inner steel and drawing on that to get through the ache of missing someone. The pictures of Luc were beautiful. Most of them were selfies, although there were a few group pictures with friends, which Caleb had found on Facebook.

Now he’d seen that face up close, the pictures weren’t good enough. As a photographer, Caleb felt it was his job to try and capture the essence of a person when he took their portrait, and none of these snaps caught the essence of Luc at all. Luc was dark heat, delicate layers, like a French pastry. He was an elegant façade with something else lurking, even though Caleb wasn’t sure what the something else was yet.

When Caleb switched back to the main page on his iPad, he picked up the notification that he had a new Tweet.

@Luc-le-Beau I’ve found somewhere.

@CalebClicks97 Found somewhere for what?

@Luc-le-Beau To meet. Next weekend.

Caleb smiled and shook his head.

@CalebClicks97 Okay, where?

@Luc-le-Beau It’s a little city, exactly halfway between Boston and New York. According to Google Maps, anyway ;)

@CalebClicks97 Send me directions?

@ Luc-le-Beau Sure!

Not wanting to wait until he got home, Caleb pulled up details about Meriden, Connecticut, which really was almost an exact distance from both their homes. It meant only a couple of hour’s drive, rather than a much longer train or bus journey.

@CalebClicks97 Looks good :)

Then an e-mail flashed up.

Sorry, this is easier. I’ve already asked Ilse, and she said I could borrow her car. I figure if we get up early we can be there at eight, maybe nine in the morning. I’m not sure if you have to be back for anything, but there’s nothing stopping us hanging out all day. Do you ever go to subtitled movies? I’ve checked, and the movie theater close by shows them sometimes.

Anyway, let me know.

Luc xoxo

Unaware that he was wearing a broad, stupid smile, he replied.

That sounds fine to me. I’ll check with my mom, I don’t think she’ll mind if I take the car. I might need to drop her off at work, though, depending on her shift.

A movie sounds good. I do go, sometimes. It depends on what sort of movie it is. Sometimes the people who do the subtitling are crap and don’t get it right. That sucks. You end up losing the thread of what’s going on.

Anyway, yes, is what I’m trying to say. Meriden sounds great. I can’t wait to see you again.

Caleb xoxo

His mom did need him to drop her at work that weekend and accepted his explanation that he wanted to go to a movie. He just failed to specify what movie, where, or who he was planning on going with. She’d likely ask, when he got back, what he thought of it, and this way he could talk honestly without having to bring up Luc at all.

This was about… having something that was his, just his, for the first time. No one else knew about these things he was feeling for Luc, except maybe Luc himself. That on its own was enough to make his stomach flip over.

Caleb knew he’d tell his parents about Luc eventually. Just not yet.

I
T
WAS
just after eight by the time they were both free from other responsibilities and sitting in front of their webcams. Seeing Caleb again made Luc’s chest ache. He’d obviously had a shower, and his fair hair was slightly damp, making it darken and curl at his ears. The collar of his pale blue T-shirt was also spotted darker with water.

He was incredibly beautiful.

“
Hi
,” Luc signed over the webcam.

“
Hi. I miss you
.”

“
I miss you too
.”

Those signs were familiar now; Luc used them nearly every time he spoke to Caleb. He’d always wondered about long distance relationships and how people made them work. There were news stories about military partners who waited for months at a time for their loved ones to come back from awful, war-torn countries, often going for weeks at a time without hearing from their husbands or wives.