Silas (40 page)

“
I don’t know. Okay, I
guess. It’s still weird trying to talk to girls without flirting
with them. I never realized that was the only way I knew how to
have a conversation with the opposite sex.”

“
I know, right?” she said.
“How do people talk to members of the opposite sex and be totally
platonic?”

I laughed. “Well, it’s
tough, but not impossible. I mean, we don’t… flirt or anything, and
we’re members of the opposite sex.”

“
Right.” She took a deep
breath. She sounded nervous. “The thing is, though, what I wanted
to ask you…”

“
There’s another
question?”

She took a deep breath. “Uh
huh. So, you’re not having sex, but I bet you’re, you know, still…
satisfying yourself or whatever.”

I coughed. “Um…”

“
Yeah, I thought so,” she
said. “You’re a guy, you’re totally jacking off. Like, I used to
jack off all the time, but ever since the thing with Rolf, it’s
just been too weird, and, anyway, uh…”

I was feeling sort of
embarrassed. “Why are you asking me this?”

She giggled. “Is this
turning you on, Silas?”

“
No,” I said. Even though it
kind of was. I wasn’t sporting a raging hard-on or anything, but
there was some, um, stirring down there. I lay back down, resolving
to ignore it. I could talk about this with her. “You know, the
truth is that I didn’t at first.”

“
Didn’t
masturbate?”

“
No,” I said. “You remember
when I was having those images that would pop up in my brain? Of
you tied to the tree and stuff?”

Her voice was quiet.
“Yeah.”

“
Well, they would happen
whenever I thought about sex at all. For a good month or so. So, I
didn’t, you know, even touch myself.” I thought about it. “I had a
lot of restless energy during that time period.”

She laughed. “But it went
away?”

“
Uh, yeah. One night, I got
wasted, and I just abused myself really badly.”

She laughed again. “Oh my
god. I can’t believe you just said that.”

“
You’re the one who started
this entire conversation,” I said.

“
I know,” she said. “So,
that time, you didn’t see any of the images?”

“
Uh… I did, I think, but I
kind of ignored them. I was really turned on.”

“
How come?”

“
Because I hadn’t had an
orgasm in a month, I think,” I said. “I don’t remember.” I sure as
fuck wasn’t going to tell her that I’d been thinking about her.
That would probably freak her out.

“
Well, I was kind of
thinking that I miss, you know, getting off, and that I would like
to try touching myself again. But… I’m kind of freaked out about
it, because whenever I try, I start thinking about…”

“
Yeah,” I said. “That
sucks.”

“
It does,” she said. “So, I
called you because… well, I wondered if you would mind if I, um…”
She burst into giggles. “If you would just stay on the phone with
me while I tried it, then it might be less scary.”

I couldn’t speak for a
minute. “Uh… Christa, I don’t know if that’s something that
friends
do.”

“
It isn’t?” She was still
smiling. I could hear it in her voice. “I thought maybe we were the
kind of friends that might do that.”

I let out a little
disbelieving laugh. I got up from my bed and closed the door to my
bedroom. I leaned against the door. “I don’t think there are any
kind of friends who, you know, help each other have
orgasms.”

“
You said it wasn’t even
turning you on.”

“
Yeah, well, I lied,” I
said.

“
Oh,” she said.
“You
are
turned
on? How turned on are you?”

Just like that, I went from
half-mast to full sale in point five seconds flat. “You know, I’m…
adequately turned on.”

She giggled. “Are you
hard?”

“
You can’t ask me questions
like that,” I said.

“
I bet you are,” she said.
Her voice got more sultry. “What if I told you that I was touching
my boobs through my shirt right now? Would that make you
harder?”

Yes. I groaned. “You’re
killing me.”

“
You could touch yourself
too, you know.”

I swallowed. “Why are you
doing this?”

“
I don’t know,” she said.
“I’m drunk, and being drunk makes me get turned on sometimes, and I
got turned on, and I thought about you.”

“
You did?” I collapsed on my
bed.

“
Yeah,” she said
softly.

I closed my eyes. “You’re an
awful tease, you know that?”

“
Are you touching
yourself?”

“
Are you?”

“
Yup,” she said. “My nipples
are hard. They’re poking through my shirt, and I’m rubbing
them.”

“
Shit,” I
whispered.

“
I’m putting you on speaker
phone so that I can use both my hands.”

I laughed again,
helplessly.

And I unzipped my jeans.
Slid my hand inside to wrap it around my cock. “You should take
your shirt off.”

“
Should I?”

“
Yes,” I said.

The sound of movement.
“Okay, done.”

“
And your bra.”

She giggled.
“Okay.”

“
Are you
topless?”

“
Uh huh.”

I grunted, moving my hand and thinking
about the way her breasts looked. They were perfect and round and
perky. She had tiny little pink nipples.

“
Are your nipples
hard?”

“
Very hard,” she said.
“I’m pinching them gently, and it feels amazing. Are
you
hard?”

“
As a rock,” I
said.

“
Are you touching
yourself?”

“
Yes,” I said.

“
Um,” she tittered, “are we
having phone sex?”

I laughed.
“Maybe.”

“
It’s fun, I
think.”

“
You could say that.” I was
ridiculously aroused at the moment.

“
Why? Aren’t you having
fun?”

“
I’m…” I sighed. “I’m lying
here wanting you so badly I can barely think.”

“
Oh,” she said softly.
“Well, I want you too. I called you because I wanted
you.”

I let out a breath. “If I
was there, I’d have my mouth on your tits.”

She made a tiny noise.
“Yeah, that would be nice.”

“
I’d be sucking on one of
your nipples and toying with the other. Rubbing it and squeezing
it.”

“
Mmm,” she said. “I’m
rubbing my nipple now. I’m remembering that you’re very good with
your mouth.”

My voice was thick with
desire. “Oh, Christa, I never got to show you half the things I can
do with my mouth.”

“
Really?” she said
breathlessly. “Like what?”

“
Well, I never got to go
down on you.”

“
Right,” she said slowly.
“So, um, if you were going to do that, how would you do it
exactly?”

I closed my eyes. I moved my
hand faster on my dick. I pictured her on a bunk bed in her dorm
room, her breasts bare. “Well, I’d have to take your pants off
first.”

“
Oh,” she said. “Right.
Well, maybe I should do that.”

“
Maybe you should. Because
what I would do, if I had the chance, is undo your button, and
unzip your zipper.”

“
Yeah?” she
whispered.

“
And tug them down over your
hips. Pull them all the way off.”

I could hear the sound of
fabric whispering over the phone. “They’re off.”

“
That’s good,” I said. “What
do your panties look like?”

“
Um…” She giggled. “Do you
want me to tell you the truth, or do you want me to make something
up?”

“
Well, I’m not going to know
either way, am I?”

“
Maybe you’re expecting me
to be really sexy or—”

“
Never mind your panties,” I
interrupted, grinning. “I’d rip them off you, anyway.”

She laughed. “Does that mean
I should take them off?”

“
Definitely,” I said. I was
enjoying this. It was fun to tell her what to do, to imagine her
following my instructions.

“
Okay,” she said. “At this
point, Silas Drake, I am completely naked.”

“
Good,” I said. “And if I
could, I would kneel between your legs, and I would kiss your
nipples. And then I would kiss my way down your body, over your
belly button, down over one hip bone…”

She gasped. “I want to touch
my pussy, Silas.”

“
No,” I said. “Don’t do it
yet.” Even as I told her not to touch herself, I was rubbing
myself, and it felt sublime.

She groaned.

“
Touch your inner thigh
instead,” I said. “That’s where I’d kiss you.”

She moaned. “Oh my god, I am
so turned on.”

I gripped my cock tighter,
jerking myself. “Me too,” I murmured. I was lit up. Sparks of
delight were traveling through my body. “Touch your other thigh.
Travel up… up… almost there. But stop.”

“
Fuck you,” she
breathed.

“
You want to touch your
pussy?”

“
Yes,” she
hissed.

“
Beg me,” I whispered. I was
reaching the brink of my pleasure. My cock felt like it was going
to explode.

She panted on the other end
of the line. Then her voice came through, quiet, strained. “Please.
Please let me touch myself.”

“
Okay,” I said. “But start
with your lips. Imagine my tongue running up and down your slit,
slowly and deliberately, running all around the edges of you,
tasting you.”

“
Mmm… That’s nice. That’s
really nice.”

“
Very gradually, very
slowly, move inside. Are you wet?”

“
Are you kidding?” Her voice
was hoarse. “I’m like a waterfall here.”

I laughed.

“
Sorry,” she said. “Was that
not sexy?”

“
Everything about you is
sexy, Christa.” I was awash in euphoria. God, I wished I was
actually touching her right now, actually kissing her.

“
Really?”

“
Really,” I whispered.
“Touch your clit. Gently, just barely. Rub your fingers over
it.”

She cried out. “Shit,” she
gasped. “That’s so good. Oh god.”

I came.

I didn’t mean to. It just
happened. All the exquisite elation I felt built to a fever pitch,
and I tumbled over the edge of bliss. My cock pulsed in my hand,
and I spurted out all over my shirt.

Shit, it was good.

I grunted.

Christa was breathing hard
on the other side of the phone.

I gasped.

“
Silas?” she said. “Are you
there?”

“
Uh, yeah,” I said. Should I
tell her? Nah, it might ruin it for her. “You still stroking your
clit?”

“
Yeah,” she said.

“
Does it feel
nice?”

“
So nice,” she
whispered.

“
Good,” I said. “Keep doing
that.” I wiped my hand on my shirt and pulled it over my head,
tossing it in the laundry basket. I leaned up against my headboard.
“Just touch yourself nice and slow and easy.”

“
Mmm, I am,” she said. “And
it’s so good. And I couldn’t have done this without you. It had to
be you. You make things easier, Silas. You’re…” She
sighed.

I closed my eyes. “Just
enjoy it, Christa. Just let yourself feel good.”

“
I’m going to come, I
think.”

“
Good,” I said.

She moaned. “Thank you for
doing this, Silas. Thank you so much.”

“
You don’t have
to—”

Her little cries interrupted
me. “This is so good. You’re so good. Everything about you is good.
I don’t know what I would do…” She gasped and sighed, moaning out
her pleasure through the speaker of my phone. “I love you,
Silas.”

I stiffened, sitting straight up in
bed.

“
Fuck, I’m coming,” she
said. “I’m coming so hard.”

I sat frozen as she made
noises on the other side of the phone, as she moaned and sobbed and
yelled and said a lot of swear words. I couldn’t move.

Did she know what she’d just
said?

Did she mean to say it?

She probably didn’t mean it.
It had probably just slipped out in the heat of passion. I heard
that people did that sometimes when they didn’t mean it.

Christa and I had been
communicating as friends for months, and I’d basically gotten used
to the idea that she didn’t have those kinds of feelings for me.
That didn’t mean that I’d ever stopped feeling the way I did about
her, however. But it had been okay, since we were talking so much.
I still felt really close to her. And that was what was important
to me.