Silence (16 page)

“I really didn’t think they would react like that. I knew they would be angry
about us keeping it from them, but I didn’t ever expect that. It’s gonna be okay though. They all just need a little time.” She nodded. Should I have said that? Was I just promising her more things that I didn’t know if I could deliver?

“Let’s forget it for now and get something to eat.” She pulled away and smiled weakly. I would never forgive myself for saying all that in front of her. It was true though, Sarah didn’t see the same girl, and she did want to fix her. Perhaps that was just a normal ‘parent’ reaction though.

We got some chips and sat on the bench that was facing the dull, fierce sea.

“Whatever happens with the parents, I love you, and we’ll be fine,” I said, kissing the top of her head. That much, I knew I could promise her.

Chapter Fifteen

Oakley

As we sat outside in the unusually cold August air, I tried to pretend what Mum said hadn’t bothered me, but I wasn’t doing a very good job. Cole kept giving me side-glances and sad smiles. I always knew she thought of me as almost a child still, but I didn’t know she felt like I was a stranger, a different person.
You are a different person
, an annoying voice inside my head reminded me. I wasn’t her perfect little girl any more; I was damaged. Could I convince Cole to stay at the B&B longer than one night?

“You
wanna go back now? You look frozen!” Cole said, rubbing his hand up and down my arm to try to warm me up. I nodded and stood up at the same time his phone started to vibrate, again. With a deep, irritated sigh, he pulled it out of his pocket and answered. “Hey.”

I heard Jasper’s muffled voice on the other end.

“I’ll tell you as long as you keep it to yourself. Oakley needs some time.”

Cole’s eyes narrowed. What had Jasper said?

“Well they can fuck off, she’s sixteen now so can make up her own mind.”

Cole hung up and looked at me.

“Jasper’s telling them where we are, but not where we’re staying. He’s coming tonight and bringing pizza.”

I gave Cole my best ‘what the heck’ face.

“He wants to join the party” He grinned. “He’s also bringing Haribo and some girl he met at a party.” I was actually a little relieved. Thank God, he’s not getting back with Abby.

We walked back to the B&B hand-in-hand. The dull, moody weather made me in even more of a hurry to get inside. I wanted a hot chocolate and to wrap a quilt around myself to warm up. Cole opened the front door of the quaint mid-terrace town house and gestured for me to go in first. Sighing, I placed my hands over the radiator in the entrance hall. I wanted to kiss the owner for having the heating on in August.

All too soon, Cole walked up the stairs, and I had to leave the warmth behind. Where had summer gone? Thankfully, our room was hot, and I crawled into the old-fashioned bed. My feet were practically numb from the cold, so I wrapped the cover around myself and waited to warm up.

“It’s not that bad.” Maybe not for you! Why were men so much more immune to the cold? Or did they feel it the same but were too worried about not seeming macho to complain?

Cole flopped down on the bed beside me and rolled over, laying his head on my lap.
Make yourself comfortable!
“We have a couple hours before your annoying brother gets here. What do you wanna do?” he asked.

I shrugged, and he kissed me.

We collapsed on the bed and I snuggled closer to his side, laying my head on his chest. His breathing was slowly returning to normal, but his heart was flying in his chest. I smiled as I listened to it, loving knowing that I was the cause. His fingers gently pressed down on my bare back and he started tracing random shapes on my skin.

After an hour and a half of lying in bed in comfortable silence, Cole kissed the top of my head and got up. I followed his lead and got up.

“He’ll be here soon,” he said.

There was a knock at the door just after we had finished getting dressed and opened a window. Jasper was early? Jasper was never early! Cole glared at the door before going to open it. Jasper strolled past him with a huge grin on his face. A pretty, petite girl followed him and smiled warmly at me. She looked a little younger than him but not much.

“Hey, Bonnie and Clyde,” Jasper joked, putting the seven pizza boxes down on the side table.
Are we feeding all the guests in the B&B?
“Guys, this is Casey. Casey, this is my baby sister, Oakley, and her corrupting boyfriend, Cole.”
Don’t worry about remembering her name
, I thought sarcastically.

“Hey,” Cole said to Casey. I smiled at Casey and moved over so we would all be able to sit comfortably on the bed.

“So what have you two been doing then?” Jasper asked a little too enthusiastically. I blushed tomato red and looked out of the window. “You’d better not knock her up.”

“Shut up, Jasper,” Cole snapped, and reached over, grabbing the pizza off the side. “How many people were you planning on feeding anyway?”

Jasper suddenly gasped and hopped off the bed, making all of us jump at his sudden movement.
What now?
“Am I sitting on your sex sweat?” he yelled like a little girl, frantically wiping his bum with his hand, then wiping his hand down the wall. I started choking on nothing.
What!
Cole just shook his head, discouraged, while Casey looked scared. Clearly, she hadn’t known my brother long. Perhaps he really did want a girlfriend, but his colourful personality was putting them off.

After Jasper’s inappropriate freak out, we all sat back on the bed and ate. The TV was on in the background, but no one really watched it. I didn’t even know what was on – some old film. Everything Jasper said was either gross or stupid. He raged about how chocolate bars used to be bigger, and it should be illegal to reduce their size. Why
every weird meat tasted like chicken, and my personal favourite, what was the point of belly buttons?

I looked over at a slightly scared looking Casey.
I bet you’re glad you agreed to go out with him, huh? I
spoke in my head. As crazy and unpredictable as he was, I wouldn’t change him for the world because I knew he wouldn’t change me either. Along with Cole, Jasper was the only person that accepted me for who I was now. That meant a lot.

“Effing hell,” Jasper said, sighing heavily and shaking his head as soon as Casey went to the toilet.
If she comes back, I’ll eat my hat!

“What’s wrong with this one?” Cole asked, sounding bored.

“When I picked her up she made me go in her house!” No, I thought sarcastically. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for him to explain what was so wrong with that. “Her
parents
were there! I’ve only met the girl once! Once! I had an actual conversation with her Dad
and
ate friggin’ cake with them all! Jesus, it was a first date not an anniversary!”

“How awful,” Cole agreed, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

“You haven’t heard the worse part yet. Talking to the parents, I could just about handle but the cake had banana on it!” Cole burst out laughing, and I smiled so wide my jaw started aching instantly. “Chocolate belongs on cake, banana does not!” Cole continued laughing, clutching his stomach. “I’m serious, dude! Who the hell puts banana on a
cake
?”

“Casey’s parents,” Cole choked out and laughed some more.

“Whatever. Back me up, Oakley. That’s weird right?” I nodded. He was right, but it wasn’t exactly what you’d call a deal breaker.

“Thank you! At least she doesn’t live that close,” he quickly whispered, as the room door opened. “We need more coke,” Jasper announced, getting off the bed. “Come help me, Oakley.” He almost made it sound like a question but was already pulling my arm, almost making me fall off the bed.

We left the B&B to go to the corner shop opposite.

“You know Mum didn’t mean it, don’t you?”
So that’s why you wanted me to come along.
I
nodded and smiled. “You don’t seem that convinced.” I rolled my eyes and nodded again. She did kind of mean it. I knew she would change me in an instant if she could, and part of me wished she could do it too. I would give anything to not be locked inside myself any more, anything but Mum and Jasper’s happiness.

“Good. Look, none of us really care if you never talk again. Well, obviously, we do but you get what I mean. You’re fine just as you are,” he said, scratching the back of his neck a little uncomfortably.

“You know I’ll always be there for you, and so will Cole,” he added. Maybe I didn’t have the most understanding parents, but I did have the best brother and boyfriend anyone could ever want.

As we walked back to the B&B with two bottles of coke, Jasper changed the subject to Casey and how he was going to ditch her. I really didn’t think that would be an issue after tonight though. I couldn’t believe she was still with us! I felt tired after my conversation with Jasper and everything that had happened already today. I just wanted to sleep.

Jasper slammed one of the bottles down on the side and unscrewed the lid of the other.
Pour it into glasses, don’t drink from the bottle!
I almost fell over as he separated the plastic cups and started to pour coke in each one. Was he becoming civilised?
Mark this date on a calendar
, I joked to myself.

I climbed back on the bed and snuggled into Cole’s side, laying my head on his shoulder.

The rest of the evening passed in the same way. Jasper would be an idiot, and we would laugh at him. At ten o’clock Casey began yawning. Well done for sticking it out for that long! “I should get home,” she said, hiding another yawn behind her hand.

Jasper nodded and stood up. “Sure. I’ll see you guys tomorrow, right?”

“We’ll be back in the morning.”

“Look after her,” he demanded, nodding his head at me. Cole nodded and started gathering the empty pizza boxes up. We had managed to eat five of them, and the rest were going to be Jasper’s breakfast.

The second they closed the door; I peeled my clothes off and dived under the soft, puffy quilt. “You don’t have to be shy in front of me.”
I can’t help it.
“I’ll just take the boxes out, won’t be a minute.” I nodded, curling up underneath the cover and closing my eyes.  I briefly woke up when I felt the bed dip. Cole’s arm flopped over my ribs, and he kissed the side of my head.

“Oakley, wake up, babe,” Cole whispered, and softly pressed his lips to my forehead. I frowned and shook my head. I didn’t want to get up. Whatever time it was it was too early. The events from yesterday came flooding back, and I didn’t have the energy to deal with it all again. He pulled the cover off me. I gasped and covered up my naked belly where my top had ridden up. Cole frowned.

“Don’t hide from me. You’re beautiful, and I’ve seen it all before.” He winked and walked off out of the room, probably to use the bathroom.

Ten minutes later, we had paid the room bill and were making our way to a café for breakfast. Cole’s phone rang. He had taken it off silent first thing, deciding we couldn’t ignore everyone forever. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as we sat down on a white, plastic looking table. He mouthed ‘your dad’ before answering.

“Hello. She’s fine,” he said, his voice short and snippy. “In an hour, we’re just having breakfast. Yep… Bye.”

His frown faded as he looked up at me.

“He just wanted to know when we’ll be home. I think they just want to sort it all out now.”

I looked at him carefully to see if he was just saying that to make me feel better. His face remained straight, and I knew he wasn’t lying to make it seem better.

“Pancakes?” he asked, looking up at me over the tatty menu. I nodded, feeling my empty stomach begging for food.

Throughout breakfast I couldn’t help thinking how this was probably the last time we would be properly alone for a while. Why couldn’t I be eighteen already?

Breakfast ended too soon and we got our things together and checked out. Cole opened the car door for me, with a little bow. I smiled at how stupidly cute he was.

“Oakley?” He paused and took a deep breath. I didn’t like where this was going already. He was
all serious again.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re fighting with your parents, I know you hate that. I will completely understand if it’s too much and you don’t think I’m worth the trouble.” The blood drained from my face. What the heck was he saying?

He reached over and took my hand.

“I don’t want to, believe me, but I don’t want you to fall out with them. If you wanted to just be friends again. If it’s too much, then we can. It would hurt like hell and suck so bad, but I just want you to be happy.”

I felt sick, actually sick. He really had no clue just how much he meant to me.

“So, do you still want to be together?” he asked quietly. He had never looked so vulnerable or scared before. I squeezed his hand and nodded my head, which made him relax.

“Okay, good. I was really scared you’d want to, and I’d have to pretend like it wasn’t killing me every time I saw you.” I tried to control the tears that were seriously threatening to spill over.

“Don’t cry! God, you’re such a girl,” he said teasingly, making me smile. “Oh, just so you know, that offer was forever. Since you said you don’t want to go back to being friends you no longer hold the right to.” He laughed. “And yeah, I’m aware of how much of a psycho I sounded just then!”

We pulled up outside my house, and I sagged into the seat. Going home always dampened my mood. The front door flew open before Cole had even turned the engine off. Mum ran towards us with Dad just behind her. Cole’s parents also saw us arrive as they both came out of his house. Mia and Jasper were nowhere to be seen, probably choosing to stay away from the drama.