Silent Cry (32 page)

Tré changed direction a bit. “Growing up, I thought this [abuse] was normal. I know
now that how I grew up isn't normal at all, but back then I didn't know anything
to compare it to.

“When I was a kid, I never talked to anybody about what was going on at home — not
teachers or anybody. I knew who my dad was and what he did. Family business was family
business. I somehow knew I wasn't supposed to say anything
to anybody else. I talked
only to my mom, but nobody else. Once in a while, my dad would act out with people
around, but mostly that was only around close friends, and they turned their backs
and acted like it never happened. Maybe they didn't want to make him angry or rub
him the wrong way. Because of who he was, they would ignore it. They wouldn't confront
him.”

“Have you talked to your dad about it since you grew up?” I asked.

“I have talked to my dad about the past. He'll ask me if I'm treating girls respectfully,
and he really wishes that his friends would have stepped in and stopped him. I wish
they would have too. Everyone was afraid because he gave them money and bought them
things and took them places. I guess they thought if they confronted him, that stuff
would all stop.

“I wish someone had stepped in and stopped it. Uncle T. Hayes was best friends with
my dad and good friends with my mom. I think he felt that if my dad knew he knew
about the abuse, it would make things worse for my mom. I think fear of what might
happen kept him from stepping in.”

“You know what your mom's book is about,” I said. “You lived through her story and
gave her a reason to survive. She is concerned sometimes about how painful your childhood
was and what you remember.”

“The worst memory was one terrible day. My mom drove into the driveway and told me
to stay in the car. She put some music on for me to listen to. I was in the car outside,
and I heard my mom and dad yelling. Stuff like, `I can't believe you told such-and-such
. . .' It was really loud and really angry. I didn't stay in the car, though. I went
up to where I could see through the window.

“There was my dad holding a gun, and there were two bullets on the counter. He was
yelling. I remember him flipping the
table over, and I thought it hit my mom in the
stomach. I was really scared. Next thing I remember was seeing the window break,
and I ran and got back in the car. My dad stormed out, got in his car, and left.
I had always prayed for a little brother. I was scared that the baby had gotten hurt.

“You know, I used to ask my mom, ‘Why can't you have another baby?' Now I understand
why she was so hesitant.”

Tré paused briefly.

“I'm about to graduate with a degree in corporate communications. Then I start graduate
school, and I hope to get into sports management. I want to do something within sports,
but I don't want to get into coaching. Any sport is okay with me, but I'm drawn to
football.”

“Will you continue at the University of Texas?” I asked.

“Yes, I'll do graduate school at UT. My scholarship for football doesn't run out
until May 2013, so I can get a lot of my graduate school done. I was placed on medical
scholarship, and I'm really grateful to be able to continue my education.”

“How did you feel when you had to give up playing football?”

“That was a rough time. It still is. I've been around football my whole life. It
was really hard to give it up. I knew I had to stop because I couldn't recover from
concussions. You can't play football worried or scared. I started second-guessing
myself.
Maybe I can avoid hits
. . . I realized then I couldn't play football if
I was worried about getting hurt. When you play, you have to be all in. If you're
worried about getting hit, you're going to blow it for the whole team. I was starting
to feel selfish. I thought about what would happen if I ended up with permanent
brain damage and how it would affect my mom.

“I'm still involved with the team, and sometimes I still think about playing. I miss
it. I was really happy when I played football. I'm a student coach now. For the
games, I'm in the press
box and linked up with the running backs coach. I still enjoy
this. I still really love football.”

“You know your mother is extremely proud of you. Is there anything you would like
to say to her?”

“I want her to know I love her and would do anything for her,” he said without hesitation.
“I think it's amazing that she was able to raise me how she did while going through
all that. She came out strong. She is always looking to help others, and I hope I'll
always have her same servant attitude. She doesn't even know how to be selfish. I
want to take that from her.”

“Is there anything you would like to say to your dad?”

“To my dad — I want to say I'm proud of him and happy. He's done a lot of wrong things
in his life, but all his sins are forgiven. Stuff he did in the past — I know it
still affects my mom; it still affects me, but what's done is done. At the end of
the day, he's my dad, and I respect him. I'm happy he has changed and is trying to
go in the right direction. I can see a big change in him. He's not the same person
I grew up with at all.

“Uncle Monte and Uncle K-Mart really looked after me too. While my dad was in prison,
they treated me like I was their son. I know if anything ever happened, I could go
to them, and they would be there for me. While my dad was messing up, they stepped
in and were role models for me. They were the ones I looked up to in order to learn
how a man should treat a woman, how a man should act. I watched how my uncle K-Mart
treated my auntie Lynn. My uncle Monte taught me more about the Bible and the business
side of things. Uncle K-Mart taught me by example — I watched him and learned. Uncle
Monte taught me by sharing his experiences. I am really grateful to them.”

“Talk to me about King,” I urged. “Your mom tells me he really looks up to you and
admires you, that when you went away to school, it was hard for him.”

“King is the person I care about most in life. I want to make sure he's alright.
I would always tell King he should be thankful for how things have turned out [with
the divorce]. He is mad that my dad is not around now. He has a great mom. I don't
know if he really realizes how great she is. He was really little during the worst
part, so I don't think he remembers much.

“King looks at other families, and it bothers him. Most of the kids in Southlake
have a mom and a dad. Dad only comes around for sports. Maybe King doesn't feel like
Dad cares about other parts of life — I don't know. He is longing for a father figure
in his life. When I left, it bothered him. He isn't as close to Uncle Monte and Uncle
K-Mart as I was. He'll be alright, though. He's got my mom, and she never gives up.”

“Is there anything else you want to say? About the book release maybe?” I ask.

“Honestly, I'm not 100 percent excited about bringing up the past, but I trust my
mom completely. She feels like God has told her to write the book. I trust her motive
to help others — she is always about helping others — and she feels a calling on
her heart to do this. I trust it will work out for the best. I'm proud of her and
support her.”

King Newton, Age Fourteen

I met with King and his mom on a Sunday afternoon in Dorothy's home office. I liked
him from the moment I saw him. He was my kind of kid. Even though he was a somewhat
reluctant interviewee, he was polite and willing to talk with me because his mom
had asked him to. He was handsome, with a smile that made me melt.

King was less open than Tré had been. He sat in the chair,
slouching down, eyeing
the door. “Sit up straight, King,” Dorothy told him.

“What?” he answered her, smiling and chuckling.

“What can you tell me about what it was like for you growing up?” I asked. “I know
you were really young when your parents divorced and your dad went to prison.”

King took a moment to think. “I didn't like how other kids would bring up my dad
or how he was arrested for drugs just to get at me. You know, everyone thought we
were rich because my dad played for the Cowboys, and we really didn't have much.
People always thought we had it made. I also didn't like that they expected me to
be great at football because my dad was so good. You don't inherit sports.

“I remember going to jail to see my dad. I remember eating chicken wings from the
vending machine, and that I would just go play on the see-saw while they talked.

“Some kids teased me because my dad was in jail. They would say stuff like, ‘My parents
told me he sold drugs and that he was a bad person.' It used to make me really mad.
Some parents wouldn't let their kids play with me because of it. It didn't seem fair.
I
didn't sell the drugs!”

Dorothy chimed in. “Nate would always tell the boys stories about him and his dad.
He told them all the time that his dad was such a wise man. Well, one time during
a visit, King was sitting on Nate's lap, and he said to Nate, ‘You always tell stories
about your dad. Why didn't you ever listen to him?' ” Dorothy and King both started
laughing.

“That made Nate really, really mad,” Dorothy said. “King knew something wasn't right;
he was just too young to really understand what was going on.”

“I'm kind of close to my dad now, though,” King said. “I go to his house sometimes.
He comes to watch me play football.
All he talks about with me, though, is football
and my grades. Just football and grades. Well, my mom talks about my grades all the
time too. Mostly when they're bad,” he said, giving his mom an impish look.

“What about Tré being gone?” I ask.

“It's a lot different with Tré being gone. It was a lot more fun when he was around.
My mom is too serious now. I text him sometimes, but we only talk when I see him.
I miss having him around.

“I wish I would have been there when my dad hurt my mom,” he said, changing the subject.
“I would have stopped it. I would have done something. I would have told him to stop,
or I would have pushed him or something. I would rather him hit me than her. I would
have told the police — I don't know, something.”

Dorothy's face is very soft. King is looking down at the floor, but I can see her
looking at him with so much love. I don't think they have talked about this in a
very long time.

“I want my mom to start dating people. I wish she would relax a little more and have
more fun. I mean, she goes out with friends, but mostly she does stuff for other
people, like charities and stuff. Every month, we do SASO [Scholars and Athletes
Serving Others], and we also do Jack and Jill and different activities for parents,
lock-ins, team building, and things like that. My mom works really hard. She always
has to take care of stuff and has too much stress. I want her to have more fun. I
want her to date.”

“He's always telling me he wants me to start dating,” Dorothy rolls her eyes.

“What do you want to be when you grow up, King?” I ask.

“I would like to go into the NFL and make some money. I would invest it in an international
shipping business — you
know, ship cargo and different things. I always wanted to
own my own business.

“Tré was my role model,” he said, shifting topics. “He's a really, really good person.
I'm like the opposite of Tré. I'm talkative and happy; Tré is more secluded. He
was a really good football player, though.

“I used to worry that Tré would grow up and be abusive like my dad. It would scare
me when he got mad because he would yell. I watch to make sure how he talks to his
girlfriend. I want him to be okay and not have anger issues.

“Me, I'm more verbal when I'm angry. I never get physical. People compare me to Tré
a lot, like teachers and coaches. He was a football champion and a super student,
so they expect me to be just like him, and I'm not. I'm my own person. I'm different
than he is.”

“King handles this really well,” Dorothy interjected. “He is developing and becoming
his own person, separate from Tré. Tré's expectations of King are that he should
be more like him, study harder, etc. He thinks I let King get away with things, but
King is very different from Tré. Every child has to be parented differently, in ways
that suit their personality and gifts.

“King is the most affectionate, caring young man,” she continued. “He is honest.
He'll tell it all like it is without a filter,” she said with a laugh. “He is very
wise for his age. He came home a few years ago and said to me, ‘You know what, Mom?
I'm glad you work. I'm glad you share the Bible with people. If you stayed at home
all the time with just me, you wouldn't reach all those people.' ”

“King loves to be around people,” Dorothy affirmed. “He likes crowds and is very
extroverted. He wants me to remarry. He asks me about it all the time. I think he
just wants a man around on a more regular basis. He notices things going on in
other
people's lives, and when he comes home, he'll tell me who we need to pray for. I
just really want the best for him.”

King shoots her another look, admiration mixed with something like,
You're really
embarrassing me.

“Am I done?” he asks.

“Alright, alright. You can go,” Dorothy says.

King is out the door, quick as lightning.

“Young man,” Dorothy says with that “Oh, no you didn't” tone of voice, “you come
back here. You shake Mrs. Wendy's hand. Tell her thank you. Where are your manners?”