Silent Honor (8 page)

She turned on her side, with her long black hair fanned out behind her on the pillow, and she could hear Sally already snoring softly. But Hiroko couldn't sleep. Too much had happened to her. She had spent her first day in America. And she had more than eleven months ahead of her, before she could go home to her parents.

As she drifted off to sleep, she first counted the months, and then the weeks …and finally the moments…. She was counting in Japanese as she began to dream, thinking that she was home again, with them…. Soon, she whispered as she slept…. Soon …home …And in the distance she heard a young man say
sayonara.
…she didn't know who he was, or what it meant, but she sighed as she turned over and put an arm around Sally.

Chapter 5

H
IROKO SPENT
her second day in America pleasantly with her cousins. They drove to San Francisco in the station wagon in the afternoon. They went to Golden Gate Park, had tea in the Japanese tea garden, and went to the Academy of Science. They drove her downtown, and she got a glimpse of I. Magnin from the car before they returned to Palo Alto.

Lassie was waiting for them at home, in the yard, and she wagged her tail when she saw Hiroko.

And as soon as they got home, Sally disappeared again, as did Ken, and Hiroko went to help her Aunt Reiko cook dinner. After she had set the liable for them, Tami ran downstairs to play with her dollhouse. Reiko had told her to set the table for seven, and Hiroko wondered who was coming to dinner. She thought maybe it was one of the children's friends, but Reiko said casually that it was Tak's assistant.

“I think you met him last night, at the barbecue. His name is Peter Jenkins.” Hiroko nodded and lowered her eyes. He was the young man who had spoken to her outside, and told her how much he liked Kyoto.

And he was just as pleasant, and she was just as shy with him as she had been the night before, when he arrived carrying a bottle of wine for Tak, and a bunch of flowers for Reiko.

He asked how they'd spent the afternoon, as he sat down easily in their living room, and Hiroko disappeared immediately to cast an eye on dinner in the kitchen. As she had the night before, she had bowed low to him, and he had bowed to her, which Tak thought was amusing.

“She's incredibly shy, poor little thing,” Tak said, once she'd left the room. He hadn't seen women behave that way since he'd left Japan twenty years before. And he hoped she'd get over it during her year in California. Even with him, as a relative, she barely dared look up at him, and with a young man like Peter, she barely dared say a word to him.

Hiroko was quiet during dinner that night, and she seemed thoughtful about their conversation. Ken and Sally were, arguing about a movie they had seen, and Tami was just daydreaming. But Peter and Tak and Reiko were having a serious discussion about the war in Europe. The situation was obviously escalating, and the poor British were taking a terrible beating, not to mention the frightening situation between the Germans and the Russians.

“I think we're going to have to get into it eventu-ally.” Takeo said quietly. “Roosevelt apparently admitted it privately. There's just no other way.”

“That's not what he's saying to the American public,” Reiko said firmly, looking worried. Her husband was too old to be called into it, if America entered the war, but Ken was young enough to get drafted in two years, if it continued. And that prospect frightened both Tak and Reiko.

“I thought about volunteering for the RAF last year,” Peter admitted seriously, as Hiroko glanced at him cautiously from under her lashes. None of them was paying any attention to her, and it was easier to look at him now, and concentrate on what they all were saying. “But I didn't want to leave the university. There's a real risk I might not get my job back.” Everything was seniority and tenure, and he had a great job in the political science department as Tak's assistant. He didn't want to give that up, even for a worthwhile cause, but he knew that maybe eventually he'd have to. But for the moment, he was still thinking about his future. At twenty-seven, he didn't feel as though he could just throw it all away to go and fight someone else's battle.

“I don't think you should go unless we do get into it,” Takeo said thoughtfully, although he knew he might have been tempted himself if he were younger. And then, as they finished the meal, the conversation turned to other subjects, the lecture Tak was preparing with Peter's help, and some changes he wanted to make in the department. And it was only then that Peter realized Hiroko was following their conversation very closely.

“Are you interested in politics, Hiroko?” he asked quietly. He was sitting across from her, and she lowered her eyes again before she blushed and answered.

“Sometimes. My father speaks of these things too. But I do not always understand them.”

“Neither do I.” He smiled, wishing that she would look at him again. She had eyes that seemed bottomless in their shiny blackness. “Your father teaches at the university in Kyoto, doesn't he?” Peter asked. She nodded, and then got up to help Reiko with the dishes. She could barely bring herself to speak to him, although he seemed very pleasant, and she found his conversation with Takeo both interesting and enlightening.

He and Takeo went into the study after that, to do some work, and when the dishes were done Hiroko went downstairs with Tami to help her work on her dollhouse. She made some tiny origami flowers and birds for her to put in it, and the smallest of drawings to hang on the walls, including one of the mountains at sunset. Reiko was amazed when she came downstairs and saw what she had done. She was not only a girl of gentle manners, but one with many talents.

“Did your mother teach you how to do that?” Reiko was fascinated by the minuscule origami birds she had made for Tami.

“My grandmother.” She smiled. She was wearing a green-and-blue kimono as she sat on the floor, with a bright blue obi, and she looked very lovely. “She taught me many things …about flowers and animals, and how to care for a house, and weaving straw mats. My father thinks these things are very old-fashioned and quite useless,” she said sadly. It was all part of why he had made her come here, because he thought she was too much as her grandmother had been, too old-fashioned, and not modern, as he was. But it was what she felt in her soul, she loved the old ways, and the ancient traditions. She loved helping her mother run their home and do the cooking, and tend the garden. And she loved being with children. She would make a good wife one day, though perhaps not a modern one. Or maybe in America she would leam those things that her father felt were lacking in her. She hoped so, so that she could go home again, and be with them. After two days in America, she liked being there, but she was still terribly homesick.

Tami showed her mother the drawings Hiroko had done, and eventually, the two women went upstairs and put Tami to bed, and then came back down to find Takeo and Peter. They were finished with their work by then, and were sitting in the living room with Ken and Sally. They were playing Monopoly, and Hiroko smiled as she watched them, and they laughed, and Ken accused Sally of cheating.

“You did
not
have a hotel on Park Place. I saw you, you took it.”

“I did not!” she squealed at him, and then accused him of stealing Boardwalk. And the fight went on as everyone laughed, and Hiroko tried to understand the game. It looked like fun, but mainly because they were having such a good time at it, and Peter played with them just like one of the children. He offered to give his place to her, but she declined. She was too shy to play with them, although it reminded her of when she had played
shogi
with her brother. He often cheated too, and they got into endless arguments over who had really won, and no one ever seemed to agree on the winner.

It was after ten o'clock when Peter finally left, and Reiko promised to have him to dinner again that week. They wanted to get to know his new girlfriend. But Takeo reminded her that they were leaving for Lake Tahoe the following weekend. They were going to be gone for two weeks. As they did every year, they had rented a cabin. Takeo and Ken loved to fish, and Sally loved to water-ski, although they all agreed that the lake was freezing.

“I'D call you when we get back,” Reiko said, and Peter waved as he left, and thanked her for the evening. He and Tak had a big week ahead of them, mapping out the curriculum for the coming term. They both wanted to get it done before Takeo left for his vacation.

And as he left, Peter's eyes met Hiroko's face for just a fraction of a second. There was a moment of understanding there, and then he was gone. She had barely spoken to him all evening. She didn't dare. But she thought him very intelligent, and very interesting. She was intrigued by his ideas, but she would never have dared to enter the conversation. In spite of all her father's efforts to draw her out over the years, she still couldn't bring herself to speak up with strangers.

The time at the lake was easier for her. The things that they did were the same things her family did when they visited the mountains in Japan. They had gone for many years to a
ryokan
on Lake Biwa for their summer vacations. She liked going to the seashore too, but there was something very peaceful about the moun-tains. She wrote to her parents every day, and played with her cousins. She played tennis with Ken, and he taught her how to fish, although she had always refused to do so with Yuji. She teased her brother about it, and told him she had caught an enormous fish when she wrote to him in a letter.

She tried water-skiing with Sally too, but the water was so icy cold that her legs kept getting numb, and she never seemed to be able to get her arms straight enough to get out of the water. She tried valiantly, but she must have fallen a hundred times before she finally gave up. But she tried again the next day, and by the end of the vacation she managed a short inn, and everyone in the boat shouted victoriously as her Uncle Tak laughed, proud of her.

“Thank God. I thought she'd drown, and I'd have to tell her father.” He found he really liked the girl, she had lots of spunk and a bright mind. It just seemed a shame that she was so shy, but by the time they left the lake, she seemed considerably more at ease with them. She spoke without being spoken to first, and she made little jokes with Ken, and she had even worn a skirt and sweater once, just to please Sally. But she still wore her kimonos most of the time, and Reiko had to admit that they looked lovely on her, and she would be sorry to see her wear Western clothes once she went to college.

But the real change in her showed when Peter came to dinner again. He had promised to bring his new girlfriend with him, but she had a modeling job in Los Angeles and couldn't come, which was just as well. The evening was more relaxed without her. He was just like family, and the children all greeted him with hugs and squeals and insults when he arrived for Sunday dinner the day after they'd returned from Lake Tahoe. Hiroko bowed to him as usual, and she was wearing a bright orange kimono with pale pink flowers on it, which looked fabulous with her suntan. Her hair was down, and shone like black satin as it hung down her back, but this time she looked at him and smiled. She had grown much braver in two brief weeks in the mountains.

“Good evening, Peter-san,” she said politely as she took the flowers he had brought for Reiko. “You are well?” she asked, and then finally looked down again. But for her, it had been a very bold statement.

“I am very well, thank you, Hiroko-san,” he said, bowing back to her formally. And he smiled as their eyes met again. “How did you like Lake Tahoe?”

“Very much. I caught many fish, and learned to ski on the water.”

“She's a liar,” Ken said casually as he strolled by. They were like brother and sister now, after two weeks at the cabin in the mountains. “She caught two, and they were the smallest fish I've ever seen. She did get up on skis though.”

“I caught seven fish,” she corrected him, looking very much like an older sister, not taking any guff from him, as she grinned, and Peter laughed. She had blossomed in the two weeks they'd been gone, and it touched him to see it. She was opening up like a rare flower, and her face shone at him as she told him about the water-skiing and the fishing.

“It sounds like you all had a great time.”

“We did,” Reiko confirmed as she kissed him and thanked him for the flowers. “It always does us good to go up there. You should come with us next year.”

“I would love it…. That is”—he glanced at his boss with a rueful grin—”if your husband doesn't leave me the entire course to reorganize again.” He hadn't really done that, they had sorted out most of the work before he left, but Peter had tied up most of the loose ends for him, and he'd done a good job. Takeo was very pleased with the work that Peter had accomplished in his absence.

Peter brought him up on developments at the university while he'd been gone, and at dinner they once again discussed the situation in Russia. And eventually Peter turned and asked Hiroko if she'd had news of her parents. She was still startled by how easily they all expressed their opinions, especially Reiko. It seemed remarkable to her that a woman should speak her mind so freely. Looking down shyly, she told Peter that she had heard from her parents, and then, as though forcing herself, she looked up at him and smiled and thanked him for asking. She told him about a storm her parents had said they'd had, but other than that, everything was fine. And just talking about them suddenly made her homesick again for Kyoto.

“When do you start school?” he asked quietly. He always felt as though she were a doe, about to dart away from him into the forest, and he had to move ever so slowly, and speak very softly. He almost wanted to put a hand out to her, to show her he wouldn't harm her.

“In two weeks,” she answered bravely, forcing herself not to be afraid of him. She wanted to be polite, and to be American, and not hide from his eyes the way a Japanese girl would. In her heart of hearts, she wanted to be like Sally, or her Aunt Reiko. But it was far from easy.