Silver Lining (7 page)

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Authors: Wanda B. Campbell

BOOK: Silver Lining
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He wanted to tell her no, but they'd made a truce and Kevin was a man of his word. Besides, they'd danced to the tune countless times before.
At first it was awkward trying to slow dance and, at the same time, keep a safe distance from each other. Marlissa knew Kevin well. He wanted to be closer to her; he just didn't know how to tell her. Marlissa decided to open the door for him.
As Melba Moore and Freddie Jackson crooned the words to “A Little Bit More,” Marlissa leaned into him and laced her fingers around his neck, then rested her head against his chest. The two instantly fell into sync, and, for a while, nothing else mattered.
“I want to hold you in my arms forever,” the duo bellowed, and Kevin reacted by pressing her even closer. Kevin wanted to restrain himself, but couldn't. He didn't mean to squeeze her so tightly, but it had been a long time and she felt so good. He certainly didn't mean to moan, but for some reason his body seemed to be controlled by what was in his heart and not his brain. Kevin wanted to kick himself for surrendering to her so easily.
It was evident that neither wanted to let go when the song ended. They stood there, holding each other. Finally, Marlissa raised her head, only to find him staring intensely down at her. He didn't say anything, but the rapid flexing of his jaw muscles spoke volumes. He wanted the same thing she needed.
“Kevin, I don't want a divorce. I love you,” she whispered, then raised her mouth to his. At first he was hesitant, like he was trying to digest her words, but she persisted and he joined her lips on a sweet but passionate ride. When she finally released him, he was panting for breath. Without saying a word, Marlissa took him by the hand and led him off the dance floor.
“Reyna who?” she mumbled victoriously, heading back to the table.
“I think we should be going.” Kevin pulled out enough bills to cover the check and a nice tip.
Marlissa nodded her agreement. She'd put the ball in Kevin's court and he needed to be alone to chart his next move.
Kevin walked quietly with Marlissa to her car and waited for her to unlock the door.
“Thanks for dinner and the dance,” she said once she'd fastened the seat belt. Kevin looked perplexed, like he wanted to say something. “Kevin, what's on your mind?”
He exhaled deeply. “Marlissa, I heard what you said in there, but I don't understand. You've been saved and sober for a year, why didn't you come back? If I hadn't filed for divorce, I wouldn't have known if you were dead or alive.”
Marlissa reached for his hand, but this time he placed his hand inside his pocket. “Kevin, I was coming back at the beginning of the year, but your mother asked me not to.”
“Marlissa, what are you talking about?” Now Kevin was really confused.
“Our office handles the insurance for her church. Pastor Jennings came in there one day in December. She was just as surprised to see me as I was to see her. I told her about my recovery and that I was attending church. When I asked her about you, she asked me not to contact you. Said you had moved on with your life and I would only be a distraction.” Kevin shook his head. “I honored her wish because I knew how deeply I'd hurt you, and because I didn't want to hinder your progress. A short time later, Tyson informed me you were filing for divorce.”
Kevin closed his eyes in an attempt to hide his anger, but was unsuccessful. He hit the hood of the car then stomped away.
Once inside his SUV, Kevin punched in Tyson's number. He answered on the third ring. Kevin didn't bother with a greeting.
“How did you find Marlissa?” Kevin barked.
“Can a brotha get a hello?” Tyson retorted.
“Not until you answer my question. How did you find Marlissa?”
“I was speaking with Pastor Jennings after church one Sunday, when Reyna interrupted to say she'd seen someone who looked like Marlissa at the insurance company. I sent my guy to check it out and there she was. Why?”
“When was that?”
“Sometime before Christmas. What's up?”
“Never mind,” Kevin said before ending the call.
Chapter 8
“B
e not deceived, God is not mocked, whatsoever a man sows that shall he also reap.” Pastor Jennings paused to wipe beads of sweat from her forehead with the hand towel inscribed with the word “Pastor” in white letters. “Truth is, we reap what we sow. Lemon trees don't spring up from apple seeds.”
“I know that's right, Pastor,” someone yelled.
“We live this life thinking that we can do whatever we want and however we want to do it. Saints, God is a just and fair God. He won't let you reap where you haven't sown. If you've sown good, He'll send you a good harvest. But if you've sown deceit and discord among your brothers and sisters, God will still love you, but He'll stand back and watch you reap a harvest of
payback
.” Pastor Jennings moved her head from side to side, then walked the length of the platform. She always did that when she felt the Spirit real strong, like the Lord had just dropped a divine revelation in her spirit. “And another thing the Lord told me to tell you all: stop being nosey!” she hollered.
“Say that in the mic, Pastor!” one of the deacons yelled with his hands raised.
“Stay out of everyone else's business and let the Lord teach you how to manage what's going on in your own life. Stop trying to make people into what
you
want them to be, and learn how to do what God has called
you
to do.” Pastor Jennings was feeling real good now. She waved her hands frantically, then started dancing.
“Incredible.” Kevin smirked from his front-row seat. Not only was his mother having conniptions, so was Reyna. If he hadn't grown up in the church, the “do as I say and not as I do” attitude would have shocked him. But Kevin had seen it all growing up in the home of Pastor Rosalie Jennings.
Pastor Jennings was skilled at preaching words that she herself could not live. Kevin believed that was part of the reason it took so long for his father to receive salvation. At church, Pastor Jennings was patient and kind, portraying the love of Jesus. Once she entered the doors of her home, she transformed into a bossy control freak. Everything had to be her way, and if someone wanted to stay in her good graces, they made sure they did everything according to her wishes.
For most of his life Kevin had done just that. Then he married Marlissa. Up until then, Pastor Jennings was the only woman in Kevin's life he cared about pleasing. Naturally, he downplayed her possessiveness as motherly love, but last night's revelation was sobering. His mother didn't have any intentions of allowing Kevin to navigate his own path.
When Pastor Jennings finished greeting her congregants, Kevin was waiting in her office for her and her sidekick.
Pastor Jennings greeted her son as usual, with a smile and a big hug. “Hey, baby. The presence of the Lord was surely in this place today.” She didn't notice that Kevin didn't return her embrace.
“Mother, where's Reyna?”
“Right here,” Reyna answered. Like a genie, Reyna appeared next to Kevin.
A wide, satisfied grin creased Pastor Jennings's face. “I hear y'all have been spending time together.”
Ignoring her zeal, Kevin stepped away from them both and walked over to the other side of the room.
“Reyna,” he began. “Before last week, when was the last time you saw Marlissa?” He didn't allow Reyna time to answer. He turned to his mother. “Mother, when was the last time you saw Marlissa?”
Kevin folded his arms and watched the two women. He'd have bet his annual salary that they tried to transmit telepathic answers to one another.
“I hadn't seen Marlissa since the last time she came to church,” Reyna answered honestly.
Kevin tilted his head. “Really? Then why did you tell Tyson to look for her at the insurance office?”
Reyna lowered her head, suddenly finding her shoes interesting. Pastor Jennings spoke in an unknown tongue.
Kevin pressed past the dramatics. “Mother, I'll repeat the question. When was the last time you saw Marlissa?”
“Well, I . . . I can't remember the exact date,” Pastor Jennings struggled.
Kevin took a step forward. “Pastor Jennings, let me help you out, so you can practice what you've just finished preaching. You saw Marlissa in December at the insurance office, then had Reyna feed the information to Tyson.”
“I . . . I, well—”
“Save it, Mother!”
Rosalie gasped at Kevin's forceful tone.
“I'm a grown man. I don't need you or Reyna manipulating my relationship with Marlissa. You had no right keeping her whereabouts away from me”
“Baby, I—”
“Mother, that's the problem. I'm not a baby. I can make my own decisions.”
“No, you can't!” Pastor Jennings screamed. “That's how you ended up married to a drunk in the first place!”
Seeing Pastor Jennings rattled was enough to make Reyna retreat quietly into a corner.
For the first time Kevin verbally questioned his mother's integrity. “Mother, tell me what's worse, a drunken wife or a manipulating preacher. Sin is sin. Your manipulation is just as bad as Marlissa's drinking. At least she admits her sins. You hide behind a collar and a robe.”
Reyna gasped as Pastor Jennings raised her right hand to strike Kevin's face. He knew it was coming, but he didn't dodge the blow. Once the sting wore off his face, Kevin slowly backed toward the door.
Pastor Jennings glared at him, trembling. “How can you . . . How can you stand here . . . After all I've done for you . . . How can you disrespect me?”
“Mother, I told the truth, now deal with it. I love you, but that doesn't change the fact that you're wrong.” Kevin then faced Reyna. “You should listen to what my mother said today. Stop trying to fit into her mold, and be the person God created you to be.”
Just before Kevin closed the door, Pastor Jennings yelled, “Are you trying to tell me that you still want that drunken heathen?”
“I'm asking you to let me live my life.” The words spoken in simplicity went right over Pastor Jennings's head. She stood glued in place with a confused expression.
 
 
Sunday evenings were the highlight of Marlissa's busy workweek. With working a regular nine-to-five and part time four nights out of the week, Sunday evenings were the only time she had to regroup and prepare for the week ahead. While Leon worked the swing shift, she enjoyed the solace and tranquility that only an aromatherapy bubble bath by candlelight could provide. Bubble bath and candles from the Dollar Store were the only luxury items she could afford. During these extended periods of self-indulgence, Marlissa immersed herself in her journal, chronicling the previous week's events and accomplishments. She recorded every triumph and every failure and her emotions at the time. She noted her response to adverse situations and evaluated how to better handle them the next time around. Marlissa ended each entry with a closing prayer, and thanked God for being sober and in her right mind. Tonight she also added a thank you for the progress she'd made with Kevin the night before.
Watching Kevin storm away with that cute limp, Marlissa second-guessed her decision to come on so aggressively, but then she remembered the firmness by which he'd held her. Kevin needed the connection just as much as she did. “He's right, some things never change.” Marlissa sighed and closed her journal, and then placed it on the towel rack. “The way that man kisses, I'd stand in line and pay.” Marlissa laughed out loud then sighed again, wondering if she'd ever told him that before. She hadn't. As she dried her peach-scented body, Marlissa couldn't recall one time she'd voiced to Kevin how much pleasure she enjoyed from being with him. She also realized that last night was the first time she'd told him she loved him without him telling her first.
“Maybe that was a mistake,” she mumbled. “I should have been more affectionate.”
Since being freed of her demons, Marlissa realized that she'd taken many things for granted, mainly Kevin. Marlissa realized that in an effort to protect herself, she inflicted hurt on the one true person in her life. Kevin was the one person who didn't take advantage of her in any form. She understood now that, through her behavior, subconsciously, she'd expected him to. She'd expected him to do the same thing the last male she trusted had done.
“I can't change the past, but I will certainly work on the present,” Marlissa vowed after wrapping her hair and tying a frontal knot in her hair scarf. She then trotted into the kitchen and poured herself a drink. She'd just placed the crystal glass she'd bought from the Dollar Store down on the table when the doorbell sounded. Her heart nearly jumped through her chest when she recognized his image through the peephole.
“Kevin, what are you doing here?” she asked after yanking the door open.
“I . . . I came to see you,” he stuttered, taking note of her attire. She was wearing striped pajamas and a matching robe. “I didn't mean to wake you. I'll call you later.” He then turned to leave.
“Kevin, wait, don't leave,” she called, and at the same time gripped his arm. “I wasn't asleep, I was just relaxing.”
His arm muscles relaxed and he stepped inside. “Enjoying your time alone?” he asked once he was seated on the couch.
Marlissa tilted her head. “How did you know I was alone?”
“Leon told me,” Kevin answered matter-of-factly.
“When did you talk to Leon?”
“I saw him this afternoon at the gas station on Telegraph. He said you spend Sunday evenings alone.” Kevin looked around the small living area as if trying to find something interesting to talk about. His eyes fell on the crystal glass. “I knew it!” he yelled, shaking his head and pounding his fist against the couch cushions.
“You knew what?” Marlissa didn't know anything.
“That this whole rehabilitation act was just that, an act.”
She followed his eyes to the crystal glass. “Kevin, this is peach cider, not alcohol.” Marlissa picked up the glass and held it to his nose. “Does this smell like alcohol to you?”
He sniffed, then shook his head from side to side, indicating no for an answer.
Marlissa lowered the glass to his lips. “Now taste it.”
Kevin hesitantly, but obediently, took a sip. “That's pretty good.”
“So am I,” Marlissa said after taking a sip, and then placed the glass back on the table.
“Kevin, I told you before, I'm not the same person I was when we married. I don't practice destructive behavior anymore and I don't lie.”
Kevin admitted his error. “Marlissa, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.”
Marlissa smiled. “Apology accepted.” She leaned back into the corner groove of the couch. “So, what brings you knocking on my door on a Sunday night?”
Kevin leaned back on the opposite end, resting his arm on the back of the couch. “We need to discuss what you said yesterday,” Kevin answered, then ran his hand over his fade. That's what he did when he was nervous: he rubbed his head. He'd done that very thing right before he proposed.
“Why are you nervous, Kevin?” Marlissa moved closer to him.
“Marlissa, what you said changes things.”
“What changes things? The fact that I don't want a divorce or that I love you?” Kevin rubbed his head again; she wasn't making this easy for him. Marlissa turned his chin so he would face her. “Kevin, I do love you. I'll always love you. I will understand if you continue with the divorce, but I wanted you to know how I really feel.”
“Marlissa, I hear you, really I do. But so much has happened, and, I have to be honest with you, I don't trust you.”
Marlissa nodded her understanding. “You have every right not to, but can you at least give me a fair chance?”
Kevin's hot gaze burned through her. She could only imagine the debate going on in his mind. Inwardly, she prayed that he believed she'd changed, and would give their marriage another chance.
“Let's work on reacquainting ourselves and being friends first, and see what happens. It has only been two months since you were served. We have four months before the divorce is final.”
“Thank you,” she whispered, and wiped the lone tear that trickled down her cheek.
“It's going to take some time for me to get used to you being so soft and sensitive,” Kevin commented, and casually placed his arm around her.
“Kevin, I have always been soft and sensitive, on the inside anyway. I just didn't know how to let you inside.” She rested her head against his shoulder, relishing his essence. Aside from the rhythmic sound of their breathing, the apartment was completely quiet. Marlissa was just about to doze off when Kevin announced it was time for him to leave.

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