Silver Lining (30 page)

"I've talked to Wally. I wasn't sure if I should mention this to you. I'm still not sure if it's the right thing to do."

"The right thing is to tell me what's troubling you. This family has never had secrets."

Livvy moved her coffee cup in circles on the table, then looked up at him. "I think there's something amiss with Philadelphia 's pregnancy. I don't think she'll carry to term."

Max released a breath. "Why do you say that?"

"She's five and a half months along, but no one would know it to look at her. She said she was picking up some waiting clothes today at Mrs. Dame's, but she really doesn't need them. Something's wrong, Max. This baby isn't developing like it should."

He knew as much about pregnancy as most men, which was to say he knew next to nothing. He spread his hands. "You're saying she should be larger?"

His mother shoved a lock of hair off her forehead with an exasperated motion. " Philadelphia insists she's gained considerable weight and seems astonished that I don't see her belly. She believes she's enormous and has lost her figure, but I sure don't see it. I've almost begged her to consult Doc Pope, but she won't.

So far no one in Fort Houser knows of her pregnancy, and she doesn't want them to. I believe Doc Pope would be discreet, but if she doesn't agree, then I think she should consult a doctor in Denver . But she refuses."

"Do you want me to speak to her?"

"Good Lord, no! Stay out of this, Max. I'm telling you only because it's your baby and you have the right to know there may be something wrong. If anyone tries to talk some sense to her, it should be her husband. Wally's doing what he can, but she's headstrong and so far he hasn't been successful."

Wally, not him. Lowering his head, he rubbed his knuckles across his forehead. "Is her life or health in danger?" He would never forgive himself if something terrible happened to Philadelphia because of him.

"That's what's so frustrating! I don't know. She needs a doctor to check her. She looks healthy, you know that, but something is definitely not right."

Max stood and moved to stare out the kitchen window. Knots rippled along his jawline like beads on a string. Every instinct urged him to ride into town right now, find her, and take her to Doc Pope's. She would listen to him.

"No, Max. I know what you're thinking, but you don't have the right to interfere," Livvy said softly. A sigh lifted her shoulders. "Either Wally will convince her to see a doctor, or he won't. In either case, I think she's healthy and she'll come through with no lasting ill effects." After a long pause, she stood and checked on something in the oven. "Maybe I shouldn't have mentioned this."

"No, you did the right thing."

"It just makes a hard situation harder." She returned to the table and sat down. "Which brings me to the next thing. I guess you already know that Wally spoke to Howard, but Howard brushed him aside. There isn't a cowboy in the region who will sign on with you if he wants to spend his wages. But a lot of people are watching what's going on out at your place."

Then it wasn't his imagination that the traffic had increased on dry, clear days. "Why would anyone care?"

"About half the town believed Louise seduced you into jilting Philadelphia and Philadelphia ran off with Wally out of spite. When word got out that you might lose your cattle, folks pretty much figured you and Louise got your just desserts. That attitude is changing. Those who have seen Louise when she goes in to buy provisions don't see a woman who looks like a temptress. They see a polite, no-nonsense woman who couldn't be flirtatious if you gave her lessons. And when a few folks rode past your place to gloat, they saw you and your wife working like dogs to keep your cattle alive. People are talking. Eventually, Howard will be forced to back off his position."

"It won't happen before spring."

"Probably not," Livvy agreed. "But it will happen. In the meantime, Wally has told Howard that he and Dave intend to help you on Sundays so Louise can have a day free from men's work. Howard objected, but Wally backed him down by saying you're his brother and that's how it's going to be. Gilly and I will come, too, and help Louise cook ahead so it'll be easier during the week. Wash and mend and clean.

Whatever needs doing." She didn't mention Philadelphia .

Max rocked back on his boot heels and pushed a hand in his pocket, catching the green marble between his fingers.

"Wally is living my life," he said softly, keeping his gaze on the snowy ground outside the window.

"And he's thriving," Livvy agreed in a crisp voice. "Wally has found his calling, and it's banking. When he puts on that starched white collar every morning, he sees a circle of power, prestige, and influence. What would you have seen, Max? I don't think it would have taken long for you to start looking at that starched collar as a noose. Or a leash."

"Who knows?"

"In your heart I think you do. It wasn't a banker who built that house five miles outside of town."

Stubbornly, he set his jaw and said nothing.

"As long as we're speaking frankly, there's something I want to say to you." She drew a breath. "I wasn't happy when you brought home a wife named Low Down who'd been willing to bear a child out of wedlock and wasn't particular who the father was."

Max continued to stare out the window and roll the marble against his palm. The person his mother described sounded like a stranger. It was hard to reconcile the woman he had believed he'd married with the woman who worked beside him every frigid morning, pitching hay.

"I'll tell you something that I've thought a lot about," Livvy said. "I don't know three women who would have stayed through a smallpox epidemic no matter how desperately the victims needed her. And I don't know three women who would work as hard as Louise is doing no matter if it's sunny out there or a blizzard is raging. Without her, Max, you'd lose those cattle."

He nodded, his eyebrows clamping in a frown.

"I've always known what you were thinking. You're squeezing that marble in your pocket and you're thinking your cattle wouldn't be at risk if it weren't for Louise. And maybe you're right. But take a hard look, son. When you see that woman working up a sweat pitching hay like a hired hand … you're looking at character.

"And if we ever have another family dinner that goes like the last one did, you pay attention. I have an idea that your Louise doesn't sit still for too many insults, and I imagine she could cut someone down to size in about three sentences if she wanted to. But she sat silent while Philadelphia ridiculed and belittled her. Louise did this out of respect for you and this family. That is also character .

"Maybe you really believe Wally is living your life. If so, then you haven't been honest with yourself. And you haven't taken a good hard look at the life you have. Mark my words, Max. Someday you're going to hold that marble, and it won't be a symbol of all you lost. That marble will be the gold you went to Piney Creek to find. It will be the most precious thing you own. I say this because I didn't raise any stupid sons."

"Maybe you did," he said finally.

He knew what his mother was advising, but it would never happen. He might forget for a while that Philadelphia would bear his child and another man would raise it. But the knowledge was always there, weighing down the back of his mind, ready to raise up and strike him with guilt and remorse every time he touched Louise or appreciated her or enjoyed her company.

*

"I'm bored and I'm perishing of loneliness! I wantto move back home. Livvy doesn't fold my handkerchiefs like Pansy does, and she makes me feel guilty and inadequate in the bargain."

Her father leaned back in his chair and watched her pace in front of his desk. "The decision that you and Wally should live at the McCord ranch was made for excellent reasons that have not changed."

"There is absolutely nothing to do out there! How many pillowcases can a person embroider? How many stupid books can I read? If we moved to town, I'd have callers. But no one is going to drive clear out there." She glared at him, then resumed pacing.

"It isn't the distance, my dear. Perhaps you've forgotten, but you're in the center of a scandal that is going to worsen when you start—" He waved a hand at her stomach.

"You could make people call on me, you know you could. Whatever threats you used to drive off Max's cowboys, you could use to make people receive me!"

"I learned something a long time ago, Philadelphia . Society is the province of women. They guard their realm zealously and brook no interference. The surest way to ruin my bank is to pressure the clientele to force their wives and daughters into making social choices to please me. Those wives and daughters will make my clients' life hell on earth until they move their accounts to a bank in Denver that will not dictate their women's guest list. While we're on this subject, you are not the only person feeling the effects of the scandal. The bank has lost a few accounts over this. Not many, but there will be more once your pregnancy is known."

She stamped her foot to point out that he was digressing. And she let tears well and swim in her eyes.

"You don't know what I have to endure out there! I overheard Mrs. McCord and her insipid daughter talking about me. They think I'm coddled and spoiled. And that's not all. As shocking and unbelievable as it sounds, I sometimes think they prefer the company of that debauched creature who stole Max!" She stared at him. "Well? Do you really want me to live with people like that?"

He came around the desk, patted her back, and said, "There, there." Such mild comfort infuriated her.

"I don't want to hear 'There, there.' I want you to fix this! I want you to get me away from the ranch!"

"Nothing can be done until after the baby is born. Then we'll talk about the future." He set her back from him and lifted her chin. "Now dry your eyes. Your husband is waiting to take you to luncheon."

She found one of Livvy's poorly folded handkerchiefs in her beaded fringed bag and dabbed her lashes.

It had been her suggestion to have her noon dinner with Wally at the hotel. She'd harbored some nebulous idea about letting everyone see her hold her head high. She'd hoped to encounter a few previous friends and shame them for deserting her in her time of trouble.

"Wally is doing very well, by the way. Exceptionally well. Your husband is a natural-born banker. He's taken to it faster than I could ever have imagined. In fact, in many ways he reminds me of myself at that age."

Philadelphia looked up, and her mouth dropped. She had never dreamed that Wally would actually succeed. Therefore, hearing the praise and pride in her father's voice confused her. Certainly she was pleased that Wally's performance exceeded anyone's expectations. But she suddenly experienced an unpleasant vision of a future wherein her father discussed business with Wally and ignored her.

Absently patting her hand, he led her to his office door. "From my point of view, you married the right man. This one is a banker, by God!"

She stared at him in horror. Wally was not the right man for her. Max was and always would be.

«^»

W
inter stormed down from the north and punished the plains with a vengeance. Blizzards pounded the range with a frequency and ferocity that surprised even the oldtimers. In December, the temperature plummeted and didn't rise above zero for three weeks.

On bitterly cold mornings Louise and Max sat beside the kitchen stove, drinking coffee and waiting for dawn, dreading the necessity of going out into the driving snow to search for cattle in a blizzard. Many nights they half pushed, half carried stiff, half-frozen beeves into the barn and desperately tried to save them from freezing to death. Sometimes they succeeded; sometimes they didn't. It was an exhausting, heart-wrenching experience no matter how the effort ended.

All week Louise fervently looked forward to Sunday when the family came. Then she put on her lady skirts and shirtwaists and worked at preparing for the hard week to come. The work went easier when shared. This was the day the butter got churned, the laundry got washed, the rips and tears got darned and mended. On Sundays, she cleaned house from top to bottom, usually with Sunshine wielding a dust rag alongside her. Then before the men went back out to feed the beeves in the early evening, they all sat down to a late-afternoon meal. Afterward, Gilly played the parlor piano loud enough for Livvy and Louise to enjoy the music while they tidied up the kitchen.

No one mentioned Philadelphia except to comment occasionally that her father had sent his carriage to take her into town; otherwise Louise assumed Philadelphia stayed at the main house alone.

Louise didn't really expect Philadelphia to visit the man she should have married in the house he had built for her. Her presence would have made everyone acutely uncomfortable. But it was also true that Philadelphia 's refusal to join the family created a subtle tension that ran beneath the Sunday gatherings like a dark undercurrent.

"Aunt Louise?"

Abruptly she realized that Sunshine had called her twice. "Sorry, I guess I was woolgathering."

"Mama has lots of items on our parlor mantel, but you only display that one spoon. Why don't you put out other things, too?"

They had finished dusting the piano and parlor furniture, and now Louise was polishing her spoon. She liked to feel the cool smooth weight in her hand, liked to polish and rub until her reflection peered back at her in the shiny bowl.

"This is the nicest thing I ever owned, and it's special. It's the only thing I have that's good enough to display."

"Why is the spoon so special?"

"I'd like to hear the answer to that," Max said, appearing in the archway.

Snowflakes sparkled in his dark hair and on his lashes. Melting snow had dampened his shirt collar, and his cheeks glowed pink with cold.

Louise decided yet again that he was the handsomest man she had ever laid eyes on. It amazed her, simply knocked the air out of her chest that this splendid man was her husband. She could not believe that in a few hours they would climb into bed together and share each other's warmth and bodies. A flush heated her cheeks, and she looked away from his smile and back down at her spoon.