Simplicissimus (31 page)

Thus I had resolved to change and this was to be my first step on the new road, but I had counted my chickens before they were hatched. While we were passing through the duchy of Berg the enemy set an ambush for us in ideal terrain with eighty guns and fifty horse. I had been sent on ahead in a squad of five led by a corporal to reconnoitre the track. The enemy stayed quiet when we came to the ambush and let us pass, so as not to warn the convoy before it had reached the defile. They sent a cornet and eight troopers to keep us in sight until the the convoy was attacked and we turned back to protect the carts. Then they rode down on us and asked if we were going to surrender. I was well mounted, for I was riding my best horse, but I did not think of trying to make a run for it. I turned to face them on a small piece of flat ground, to see if there was any honour to be gained from fighting, but as soon as I heard the volley our convoy received I knew it was no use and tried to escape. However, the cornet had thought of that and blocked our retreat. As I was trying to hack my way through he offered me quarter again, thinking I was an officer. I decided it was better to come out with my life than trust to chance and asked for his word on it as an honest soldier, which he gave me. So I handed over my sword and surrendered. At once he asked me my rank and station, saying he assumed I was a nobleman and therefore an officer. When I replied that I was known as the Huntsman of Soest he said, ‘Then you’re very lucky you didn’t fall into our hands four weeks ago. I couldn’t have given you quarter then, since our side thought it was common knowledge you were a sorcerer.’

This cornet was a brave young cavalier and not more than two years older than me. He was delighted to have captured the celebrated Huntsman and kept the promised quarter in very honourable fashion, following the custom of the Dutch, who let their Spanish prisoners keep everything they have in their belt. He did not even have me searched and I was equally obliging in taking the money out of my pockets and handing it over to them when they were sharing out the spoils. I whispered to the cornet that he should make sure he got my horse, saddle and bridle as his share since he would find thirty ducats in the saddle and it would be hard to find an equal to the horse anywhere. After that the cornet treated me as if I were his own brother. He immediately mounted my horse and gave me his to ride. No more than six of the escort had been killed and thirteen captured, of which eight had been wounded; the rest had fled and didn’t have the guts to attack the enemy when they came out into open terrain and recapture the booty, which they could easily have done since they were all mounted.

Our attackers came from different garrisons, and after sharing out the spoils and prisoners the Swedes and Hessians separated that same evening. The cornet kept me and the corporal and the three dragoons he had captured and we were taken to Lippstadt, a fortress which was less than ten miles from our own garrison. As I had in the past been a pretty irritating thorn in the side of this place, my name was well known there, though I myself was more feared than loved. When the town came in sight the cornet sent a rider on ahead to announce our arrival to the commandant, tell him the result of the engagement and who the captives were. That brought out a huge throng in the town since everyone wanted to see the Huntsman; they all had something to say about me and it looked for all the world as if some great potentate were making his entrance.

We prisoners were taken straight to the commandant, who was amazed to see how young I was. He asked me where I came from and whether I had ever served on the Swedish side. When I told him the truth he wanted to know whether I had a mind to be on their side again. I replied that I had no objection except that I had sworn an oath to the Holy Roman Emperor and felt that I ought to keep it. He first ordered us to be taken to the provost-general but then granted the cornet’s request to be allowed to treat us as his guests because that was how I used to treat my prisoners, one of whom had been his brother. In the evening various officers and well-born soldiers of fortune gathered at the cornet’s quarters. He sent for me and the corporal and I must admit that they treated us very courteously. I was lively, not at all as if I had just had a great loss, and I talked as freely and openly as if I were with my closest friends instead of the enemy. At the same time I behaved as modestly as I could, since I could well imagine everything I did would be reported back to the commandant, which did in fact happen, as I heard later.

The next day we prisoners were taken, one after the other, before the regimental intelligence officer, who interrogated us. The corporal was first and I the next. As soon as I went in he expressed his amazement at how young I was, and asked, ‘What have the Swedes ever done to you, child, to make you fight against them?’ That annoyed me, especially since I had seen soldiers as young as me on their side, so I answered, ‘The Swedish soldiers came and stole my marbles and I want to get them back.’

When they heard how I paid him back in his own coin the other officers in attendance were embarrassed and one told him in Latin that he should talk about serious matters with me as he could see he wasn’t dealing with a child. While this officer spoke I noticed that he called him Eusebius. When he asked me my name and I told him, he said, ‘There’s no devil in hell called Simplicissimus’, so I replied, ‘There’s one called Eusebius, then, is there?’ paying him back as I had our regimental clerk, Cyriacus. However, this was taken amiss by the officers and they told me to remember that I was a prisoner and had not been brought there just for the fun of it. I didn’t blush at this, nor did I apologise, but told them that since they were holding me prisoner as a soldier, and had not just let me go, as they would a child, I intended to make sure they did not make fun of me as if I were a child. I had merely replied in the same tone as I had been questioned, I said, and I hoped there was nothing wrong in that. So then they asked me where I came from, who my parents were, when I had been born and especially whether I had ever served on the Swedish side, what conditions in Soest were like, how strong the garrison was and that kind of thing. I gave quick, concise and clear answers to all this. As far as Soest and its garrison were concerned, I told them what my duty allowed, but I kept quiet about the fact that I had been a jester because I was ashamed of it.

In the meantime the people in Soest heard what had happened to the convoy, that I had been taken prisoner along with the corporal and the others and where we were being kept. The very next day a drummer came to collect us. The corporal and the others were handed over to him together with the following letter, that the commandant sent over to let me read first:

This letter did not please me at all, but I still had to thank the commandant for communicating it to me. I asked to speak to him, but was told he would send for me after he had dealt with the drummer, which he would do the next morning; until then I would have to be patient.

I waited therefore until the commandant sent for me. It so happened that he was at dinner and that was the first time I had the honour of dining with him. While we were eating he kept on toasting me repeatedly, but let out not a single word of what he intended to do with me, and I felt it was not my place to ask. When we had finished, however, and I was rather tipsy, he said, ‘You will have seen from my letter the pretext under which I am keeping you here, my dear Huntsman. What I am doing is not unlawful, nor against the conventions of warfare. You confessed both to me and to the intelligence officer that you had previously served on our side with the main army so you will have to bow to the inevitable and accept service under my command. And in time, if you perform well, you will find the rewards much greater than anything you could expect from the imperial side. If you refuse, you will, I am sure, understand that I shall have to send you back to the lieutenant-colonel whose servant you were when the dragoons caught you.’

‘Colonel’, I replied (at that time it had not yet become the custom for soldiers of fortune to be addressed as ‘your Grace’, even if they were colonels), ‘I have never been bound by oath to the Swedish crown, nor to her allies, much less to the lieutenant-colonel. I was just a stable-lad, and I would hope that does not commit me to taking service with the Swedes and thus breaking the oath I swore to the Emperor. I humbly beg you to withdraw your proposal, sir.’

‘What?!’ said the colonel. ‘You spurn the Swedish service? You’re my prisoner, I’ll have you know, and rather than let you return to Soest to serve the enemy I will put you on trial for a serious charge, or let you rot in jail’, concluding that now I knew where I stood. What he said frightened me, but I still didn’t give in. I replied that I trusted in God to keep me from both perjury and such unjust treatment, and that I humbly hoped the colonel, with the fairness for which he was well known, would continue to treat me as a soldier.

‘I know’, he said, ‘very well how I could treat you if I were to follow the law to the letter. I advise you to think it over so that I’m not forced to show you my other side.’ With that I was taken back to the goal.

You will have no problem guessing that I did not sleep much that night, with all kinds of thoughts going through my mind. The next morning several officers came to see me, together with the cornet who had captured me. Ostensibly their purpose was to help me pass the time, in fact to suggest to me that the colonel had a mind to put me on trial as a sorcerer, since I would not accept his terms. They were trying to frighten me to see what I was made of. However, since my conscience was clear I took everything very coolly and did not say very much. What I realised was that the colonel’s main concern was to stop me returning to Soest. He knew very well that if he let me go, I would stay there because it was there that I expected promotion and also had two fine horses and other valuables.

The next day he had me brought to him again and asked me what decision I had come to. ‘My decision, colonel’, I replied, ‘is that I will die rather than break my oath. If, however, you were so good as to set me at liberty and not require any military duties from me, sir, I would promise faithfully not to bear arms against the Swedes or Hessians for six months.’ The colonel immediately agreed to this, gave me his hand on it and exempted me from having to pay a ransom. He ordered his secretary to draw up a document in duplicate, which we would both sign, guaranteeing me freedom of movement and his full protection as long as I remained in the fortress he commanded. For my part I committed myself to the two points touched on above, namely that as long as I stayed in the fortress I would do nothing to harm either the garrison or its commander, nor would I conceal any action that was taken against them; on the contrary, I undertook to do everything in my power to support them and prevent any loss, and if the enemy should attack the town I pledged myself to help them defend it.

When that had been done he kept me with him for lunch and honoured me more than I could ever have expected from the imperial side as long as I lived. In this way he gradually won me over, so that I would not have returned to Soest, even if he had been willing to let me go and released me from my promise.

If something is to be, then everything falls into place. When, sitting at the commander’s table, I was told my servant had come from Soest with my two fine horses, I thought Lady Luck must be wedded to me, or at least so closely connected that the worst things that happened to me turned out for the best. At the time I did not know what I learnt at the end, namely that luck is like the Sirens, who show their greatest favours to those they wish to harm the most, and raises a man up higher so that his fall will be all the greater.

This servant, whom I had previously captured from the Swedes, was extremely loyal to me because I treated him so well. Therefore every day while the drummer, who was supposed to bring me back, was away, he saddled my horse and rode a good way out from Soest to meet him so that I would not have to walk too far; and to save me having to enter Soest naked or in rags, for he assumed I would have been stripped, he had packed my best suit of clothes. When he met the drummer and the other prisoners he saw I wasn’t with them and they told him I was being kept there to take service with the enemy. At that he spurred his horse, saying ‘Adieu, drummer, and to you corporal. Where my master is, that’s the place for me’, and galloped away from them, arriving just as the commander had given me my freedom and done me the honour of asking me to dine. He ordered my horses to be stabled at an inn until I found lodgings to my liking and said how fortunate I was to have such a loyal servant. He also expressed his amazement that an ordinary dragoon, and so young a one at that, should have such fine horses and so well equipped! When I took my leave to go to the inn, he was so fulsome in his praise of the horse that I immediately realised he would like to buy it off me. Since he was too well-mannered to make me a direct offer, I said that I would consider it an honour if he kept it. He declined, however, more because I had drunk quite a lot and he didn’t want people saying he had talked a drunken man into giving him something he might regret when he was sober than because he didn’t want such a thoroughbred.