Singing Heart (15 page)

They all laughed even though it really wasn’t funny. Xzan decided to wrap the leftovers up to send home with her friends along with a few other goodies she had stored in the pantry for them to hide under their pillows for snacks. It must be awful to live with someone who unintentionally starved you. From that point on she invited them to dinner every Friday night. It turned into a social event. They looked forward to culinary delicacies and she enjoyed the games and catching up on the latest news.

On Christmas Eve she made them open their presents so she could see their reactions to her gifts. Robert’s shirt was a little large. She had over guessed his massive size but he liked the color immensely.

“
That’s alright.” Shauna winked at her husband conspiratorially. “Once we get our place built you’ve had few hundred of my homemade biscuits that shirt will fit just dandy.”

There was a twitter of laughter and they watched with excitement as Jason opened his present next. It too was a shirt but it was a perfect fit since he was basically the same size as Brett and Xzan had made many of his shirts during their marriage. The shade of blue made his hair seem even darker and gave his skin a golden hue. Sean’s shirt was green the same shade as his brown fringed eyes. The sleeves were a bit long but he rolled them up declaring solemnly that he would never take it off as long as he lived. His mother threatened him good-naturedly.

Xzan had crocheted Richard a toboggan and muffler in shades of blue and gray. The small boy refused to be kept indoors. At least this would help insulate him against the winter chill. Lorena delightedly unwrapped a handmade doll. With blond yarn hair, embroidered blue eyes the color of buttercups. Xzan had made it an elaborate rose silk gown, with starched, lacy petticoats and pantaloons and black leather shoes that were hand stitched on to the feet. It was beautiful like the doll Mama had made her as a child. She’s spend most of her time the past week finishing it.

Last but not least was Shauna’s gift. She had saved it for last because she wanted her friend to try it on for size. The blond-haired woman had lost a lot of weight on the trail. Her dresses hung like sacks on her tall bony frame. Xzan had noticed a glow in her friend’s face recently and a slightly thickening waistline. Had waited for Shauna to confide her news in her own time but to no avail. Xzan was beginning to wonder if the woman even realized her own pregnancy yet. The material she had chosen for the maternity dress was gorgeous. It shimmered blue then green with movement. The cuffs and modest scoop neck were finished with dainty black lace. Tiny black buttons inlaid with diamantes closed the front bodice. It was a simple pattern. Form fitting, full skirted. The panel that she had also made could be buttoned in to expand the dress to accommodate her progressive condition. Shauna was stunned when she recognized the style of the dress. Her eyes darkened perceptibly and she glowed with new awareness when she met her hostess’ violet eyes. She came back in the room five minutes later gorgeous in the dress, even had fussed a little with her hair. Clearing her throat full of emotion she addressed her family.

“
I have an announcement to make. Until just a few moments ago I didn’t realize why I’d been feeling so poorly lately. But our friend evidently did. She made me this lovely gift in a way that I can enjoy it for a long time to come.

All eyes were riveted on her expectantly. She smiled feeling silly. It had been a long time since she had made a similar announcement.

“
I’m going to have a baby.”

Robert whooped in glee. Jumped to his feet swinging his lady off of hers, spinning her dizzily in circles while she laughed and pounded his shoulders to put her down. Jason and Sean looked at their parents the way all children do when they think they’ve gone too far. Richard pouted. Lorena as usual stared at them silently in a dream world all her own, sucking her chubby thumb, oblivious to the fact that she would no longer be the baby of the family soon.

It was a happy night. When the food was put away, the dishes were done and her guests had departed Xzan found herself feeling empty and exceeding lonely. This home needed people. It was too quiet. Maybe she should get some birds or a cat to keep her company. She missed Puddin Head. She’d given the feline to Amanda when she left England sure that the kind woman would take good care of the creature. Tomorrow was Christmas. She wondered what her own family was doing. Nostalgic she decided to write them. The letter wouldn’t reach them for months but in her own way she would be sharing the holiday with them. She would love to be in Shauna’s shoes right now. Knowing that in a few months she’d be holding her own son or daughter. But it required an intimacy that she couldn’t stomach to achieve that goal. So she would have to be content simply enjoying other people’s children.

*****

Spring thawed a bone-chilling winter. Birds chirped gaily, a variety of dainty flowers in a star-burst of colors erupted overnight in full glory. To her delight the afore promised honeysuckle vines began climbing up the side of the trellis. Rose bushes blossomed scarlet and pink all around the house. It was like a magic cottage. A fairy tale come to life. She woke up happy each morning, glad simply to be alive. Birth permeated the air. Babies were everywhere. Human and animal alike. It was a joyous time for the whole town it seemed. The winter had been too brutal. People were thrilled to throw open doors and windows, beat their rugs, shake their quilts and let the sun shine permeate the interiors of their damp homes.

As was the custom the whole town pitched in to help build a newcomer’s house. The Fenierre’s were amazed at the kindness and comradely of the people they barely knew and how fast the house was erected with everyone’s help. It hardly seemed any time before they were planting crops and buying cattle. Shauna’s pregnancy had advanced noticeably in a few short months. Xzan suspected it might be a multiple birth having witnessed her mother’s pregnancy with the twins. She had grown huge the same way, been bedridden the last month before the babies finally made their entrance in the world.

Xzan was worried about her friend. It wasn’t uncommon for a woman in her thirties to have a baby, but the risk to mother and child definitely seemed to increase. She had just finished spending the day helping Shauna wash and clean the cabin. Trying to ease some of her load. Sean fell into step with her when she was walking the mile down the road to go back to her own home.

“
You look tired.”

Xzan shrugged non-committaly. He tried again, used to her moods.

“
Something on your mind?”

Turning around to stare at him feeling out of sorts she put her hand on her hips defensively.

“
Aren’t you getting a little personal?”

“
Whoa!” he grinned backing off teasingly as if she had a bullwhip in her hand, raising his palms in surrender. “Just concerned. You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“
Don’t treat me like a child Sean Fenierre. I’m as old as the hills. I don’t have to answer to anyone but myself.”

With that she stalked off leaving him puzzled and slightly wounded by her erratic behavior. It wasn’t like her to be waspish. He decided it might be time for some male advice. Turning on his heel he went in search of his father. Her temper didn’t improve over the course of the next few days. Even Shauna’s patience grew thin. The men avoided both women as much as possible. They could sympathize with Shauna’s misery. She had grown so immense, bloated, she must be extremely uncomfortable. Xzan came when she could to help with chores, even more chaotic than before. The only person she didn’t snap at was Shauna.

It came to a head one day. Sean was dumbfounded when he figured it out. He had been observing both women all day long. Xzan lumbered around as wearily as his mother did. She talked slow as if she were too tired to function. It was when his mother doubled over in pain as the baby kicked too hard that he saw Xzan clutch her own belly. Hazel eyes widened in disbelief.

“
Sympathy pangs!” he exclaimed to no one in particular.

Pointing out her stigma to his father later that evening the older man scratched his head thoughtfully, loading his pipe.

“
Boy, I stopped trying to figure out females a long time ago. They’re a total mystery. Just let them be. Time will bring them back to their senses. Don’t get in their way in the meantime. Or you’ll have hell to pay.”

Chapter Six

Xzan’s first glimpse of the building where she would be teaching school was disappointing. The one room schoolhouse had evidently been sitting neglected for several seasons. It was badly in need of more than just whitewash and a new roof. The wooden porch was missing several boards and groaned in a scary way under her light step. She picked up her skirts careful of her steps not unduly worried that she might fall through the rotting planks that were left. A warped door hung sideways on rusted hinges. Unable to move it completely open she squeezed her miniscule form past it wrinkling her nose in disgust at the smell of mold and mildew that greeted her inside.

Letting her eyes adjust to the dank darkness she shrieked in horror as something ran up the side of her leg. Jumping to get away from the slimy creature which was trapped under her long skirts, envisioning a huge rat with glaring red eyes, she screamed hysterically twisting to get away from it. The poor confused creature began running in circles imprisoned in her petticoats clinging to her legs unable to disentangle itself. Stomping her feet trying to shake the varmint loose she erupted into wails of pure terror. A loud thump on the floor at her feet made her stop and stare in confusion.

A tiny white mouse with delicate pink tipped ears obviously someone’s escaped pet lay still. Dark eyes staring vacantly. Her mouth dropped open incredulously. It must have died of a heart attack as frightened as she had been. Heart still beating out of control she took several steadying breaths trying to calm herself and to muster up enough courage to explore the rest of the crumbling building.

She made mental notes of what needed to be done as well as what could be salvaged and used. There wasn’t much to work with. It would take months to repair the place. Not to mention a lot of money. It might be less expensive to build a new schoolhouse. She was suddenly weary from the strain she had been living under for too long. The hardships that never seemed to cease. She collapsed in the middle of the floor uncaring of the dirt on her skirts or even the possibility of an entire family of rodents appearing. She bawled like a baby ebony head cradled dejectedly in her slender hands. She didn’t stop till she felt a big hand patting her small shoulder comfortingly. Recognizing his touch she didn’t even bother to look up.

“
It looks pretty grim, huh?”

Xzan nodded desolately.

“
I’ll help you fix it up. In fact I bet if we asked the whole town would pitch in. It’s their children that you’re going to be educating. I’m sure they’d want them to be as comfortable as possible.

She withdrew a handkerchief from her reticule blowing her nose loudly feeling better.

“
Do you think so?”

He didn’t answer extending his big paw to help her rise and leading her back through the darkness to the open portal. He’d had no problem moving the door out of the way.

“
Who do we approach?”

Sean thought about it for a few minutes. “How about the Pastor? Everyone goes to church on Sunday. It’s the only social event they have regularly. It would be the perfect place to ask for their support. And you know how churches are about good causes.”

She smiled in relief. Took his proffered arm as he led her across the rickety porch. He escorted her to the minister’s cottage half a mile down the road. Reverend Lawrence was delighted to meet the new Schoolmarm. He happily promised to aid her plight to his full capacity that very Sunday.

*****

It was in early May when her family was still asleep and Shauna had risen to do some washing that her first pain hit. It didn’t frighten her. She knew there was plenty of time to make breakfast and gradually rouse her brood from their slumber to go get the doctor. There was no need to alarm anyone this early yet. She was a practiced hand when it came to birthing.

Xzan had been so busy working on the school recently she had only been over periodically to help out and check on her friend. Things had piled up the heavier Shauna grew with child. She was determined to get some of it straight before she was laid up with a newborn demanding her constant care. Each pregnancy came easier. She figured she would spit this baby out with no problem. But an hour later her pains began coming only a few minutes apart. The spasms didn’t radiate along her back and sides the way they had in the past instead centering on her lower abdomen. Tightening so hard she was forced to sit down.

“
Robert!” she cried out weakly panting in alarm. He was beside her in a flash. “It’s…coming…too fast. I feel funny. Get the doctor. Ask Xzan to come too. I may need her.”

Before he could fetch Xzan she was there. Knocking on the door doubled over in pain. Her face was a ghastly white. She was sweating profusely. As soon as she saw Shauna she knew it hadn’t been her imagination. She had woke up an hour ago and had to force herself to wait until a decent hour to come see if the woman was all right. She knew it was time but she kept telling herself that was crazy. There was no way she could possibly know that. Yet she did. She was worried sick about Shauna. Something didn’t feel right. Robert was so relieved to see her he didn’t even question her sudden appearance. Putting on his hat he didn’t even stop to saddle his horse but ran on foot towards town in search of Doc Berry. Xzan rushed to her friend’s side.