Single Wide Female: The Bucket List Mega Bundle - 24 Books (Books #1-24) (67 page)

Can’t wait.

By the time I finished the conversation my mind was still on the book.

I forced myself to eat some dinner. I straightened and re-straightened my living room. I began reading over the book and picking out parts that I was sure she would cut out completely. It was nearly eight o’clock when my phone rang. I picked it up, expecting it to be Max, as he was one of the few people to call me later in the evening.

“Hello?”

“Hi, is this Samantha?”

“Yes it is.” I grimaced as I wondered if I had just answered a sales call. I was usually very careful about not doing that.

“This is Tonya, I just finished going over your book.”

My heart dropped. I wasn’t expecting her to finish so fast.

“Oh, really? Thank you.”

“It was my pleasure. Really. I’m excited about what you’ve created here. I did change a few things, but nothing to do with the story. I think that it’s ready to publish. I’ve sent the edited file back to you. Please let me know when it’s available for purchase. I have a few friends who I’m sure would love to read it.”

“Wow, thanks so much. I can’t tell you how much I appreciate that.”

“Just remember, get it out there—no second guessing.”

“I will.”

I hung up the phone and headed straight for my computer. When I checked my e-mail I saw that I had a file waiting for me. I opened it up and began to read it over. As I did, I noticed some of the changes that she’d made. I expected to be defensive or offended, but instead I was surprised. The subtle shifts in text and sentence structure she’d made caused the entire story to flow much better. I was very glad that I’d listened to Estrella and had someone edit it before publishing it.

I knew that now it was ready for publishing. There was only one more step. To actually put it out there. I wasn’t sure if I was really going to be brave enough to do it.

I decided to wait until the morning, so that I would have a fresh mind while selecting all of the options on the website.

As I headed for bed, I felt as if my dream was coming true.

Zara was soon going to be not just my personal hero, but a hero to many.

Chapter 9

First thing the next morning I put the final touches on the book, formatted it, added the cover, and submitted it as an e-book. I did it all without stopping to think about it. I knew that if I did, I would come up with a million reasons not to go through with it.

When I clicked the button, I felt as if I was now on the Internet completely naked. Okay, maybe not quite that exposed, but close enough.

Now my words would be out there for anyone to read. It wasn’t the same as the blog that only a few people would stumble upon. This was a book that represented my most intimate feelings and my secret fantasies. It was everything I held inside and everything that I was afraid of expressing. I had no idea if anyone would really read it, but I did know that I couldn’t hide from the truth any longer.

Zara was my inner self, breaking free from all the limitations that I’d imposed upon myself. She was going to take the world by storm, while I did my best to hide behind my computer.

I remembered what Blue had said about not allowing myself to disappear.

I picked up my phone and sent Max a text to confirm our dinner plans, then I went shopping. I bought myself a brand new dress for the occasion. It wasn’t quite what Zara would wear, but it was much bolder than what I usually wore. It was strapless with a low-cut snug bodice and a slimming skirt.

I could see places where I felt my imperfection showed, but instead of criticizing that, I focused on the areas of my body that had changed so much with my new diet plan. I had made so much progress and my body had already changed quite a bit. I was looking forward to how it would continue to change along my weight-loss journey.

But as of that moment, I was going to love my body as it was. I was going to show it off with pride.

After a light lunch so as to give myself the freedom to indulge at dinner, I spent some time on my hair and make-up. I didn’t often take so much time to get ready, but it was a special occasion.

Not long after, Max texted me to let me know he was on his way. I decided to meet him outside. I knew that if I waited inside I might chicken out and change my clothes. More than once in the past, I’d scrubbed off all of my make-up before walking out the door because of feeling insecure.

Max pulled up into the parking lot with his radio blaring. I smiled at the sound. We’d spent many days just rolling through the city listening to good music and sharing our stories. Max was the kind of person I could be comfortable around, no matter what. That was something I treasured above all else.

I walked toward the car as he parked, and he stepped out of the car to greet me.

“Wow.” He swept his gaze with great appreciation over the outfit I had chosen.

I knew that it revealed more than he was used to seeing.

“You look fantastic, Sammy.” He met my eyes and I felt a wave of warmth and excitement wash over me.

“Thanks. You look nice too.” I nodded toward his dark blue thin pinstriped suit and the navy button-down shirt he wore underneath it. “It’s definitely your color.”

“Do you think? Someone picked it out for me.” He opened the passenger door for me.

I tried not to feel a pang of jealousy as I wondered who might have picked it out. I reminded myself I had no right to stake a claim on Max.

I sat down in the car and was immersed in music. It was a nice feeling. When Max pulled out of the parking lot I felt a sense of freedom being out and away from everything. Spending time with Max was one of the few ways I truly relaxed.

“So where are we headed?” Max asked.

“La Villita.” I smiled. “I made reservations.”

“La Villita? They have a wine menu!” Max grinned. “Fancy.”

“I told you, we’re celebrating.” I looked out the window at the passing buildings. It was unreal to me that there was so much changing in my life, but it all felt like very good things.

“Are you going to tell me what we’re celebrating yet?” Max glanced over at me.

“Not just yet.”

He nodded and fell back into silence. I knew that he was dying to find out, but he had enough self-control to allow me my surprise.

It was rather crowded when we walked into the restaurant. I was glad I’d made a reservation.

The waitress led us to the table and handed us our wine menus along with regular menus.

“You pick the wine, Max.”

“Me? But it’s your celebration.”

“I trust your taste.”

“Hm, in that case I’ll go for the most expensive kind.”

“Whatever you desire!” I laughed. Then I looked at the menu. I gulped at the large prices. “Okay, well, maybe whatever you desire under one hundred dollars.”

Max grinned. “Don’t worry, you know I’m a cheap date.”

After we had ordered our food, Max stared steadily at me. I tried to engage him in small talk.

“How was work this week?”

“Boring.”

“How is your mom doing?”

“I have to call her.”

“Did you see that new show on Netflix?”

“Sammy!” He looked at me with exasperation.

“What?” I asked with an innocent expression.

“What exactly are we celebrating?” Max looked across the table at me.

I could see that he was dying to know why I had invited him out to dinner.

Chapter 10

I didn’t want to tell Max just yet. I wanted to prolong the anticipation and the enjoyment of watching him squirm.

“An achievement.” I smiled. “I think it’s something that you will be surprised by.”

“I know if it’s anything that you’ve done, I’ll be proud of you.” Max pushed his chicken across his plate. He swirled it through the sauce. “So why not just tell me?”

“I will, I will.”

I sat back and watched as he took the last bite of his chicken. All through dinner I had been trying to think of how to reveal my big surprise. Now that I was running out of time the pressure was on.

“Sammy?” He met my eyes. “Tell me.”

“How about if I show you?” I smiled.

“What is it?” He leaned forward.

“I want you to see this book that I think you’ll like.” I began pulling up the website on my phone.

“A book?” He looked at me grimly. “All of this is about some book?”

“Here, take a look at it.” I handed him the phone.

He took it with a look of disappointment.

“
Becoming Zara
.” He scrunched up his nose. “Is this going to be a romance?”

“Maybe.” I smiled. I was waiting for him to see it.

“Wait a minute.” His eyes widened. Then he looked up from the phone to me. “Did you write this? Is this your book?”

“It is.” I smiled proudly. “That’s why I haven’t been in touch much lately. I was finishing it up and getting it ready to publish.”

“I can’t believe this!”

His wide grin warmed my heart. I could see just how happy he was for me.

“Believe it. I did it.” I smiled.

“Just when I didn’t think you could get any more amazing, you go and prove me wrong.” He raised his glass of wine.

I raised mine as well and we toasted the new book.

“What an amazing day for you, Sammy.” He smiled warmly at me.

It was amazing. Not only did I have a book to celebrate, I had a priceless friendship to enjoy. Life couldn’t get much better. At least that was what I thought, until the waitress brought me out the most decadent cupcake I’d ever seen. There was even a tiny pink candle in it.

“There must be some mistake.” I shook my head.

“The gentleman requested it.” The waitress smiled at Max.

“You did?” I looked at him with surprise.

“You said it was a celebration.” He winked at me.

“I love you, Max!”

“Do you love me enough to share it with me?” He picked up his fork.

“I don’t know about that.” I teased. Then I popped a bit of cupcake into his mouth.

As we dined on our delicious desert I knew that this really was the first day of a new chapter in my life.

Later, when Max dropped me off at my apartment, I thought about taking a daring step with him. I’d done so much to break out of my comfort zone already, that I thought maybe I could handle going a little further.

He gazed into my eyes. I stared back at him. The tension built between us. In my mind, I thought maybe he was just waiting for me to make the first move. He didn’t seem to be in any hurry to get away.

I parted my lips. I prepared myself to kiss him, but as I stared at him, I just couldn’t do it. Max meant everything to me. I wasn’t brave enough to risk that just yet.

“Good night, Max.” I leaned up and kissed his cheek.

He wrapped his arms around me and held me in a warm hug for longer than he needed to.

“Don’t forget me, famous author.” He murmured his words beside my ear.

“Ha, I know the first isn’t possible. And the second isn’t likely.”

“You’re famous in my eyes.” He smiled and released me. “Congratulations again.”

“Thanks.”

I stared into his eyes. Was I brave enough? Was I bold enough? Was I Zara enough?

As he walked away, I couldn’t bring myself to stop him. I still had one secret that I was keeping from Max, and I was going to continue keeping it—for now.

I turned to head into my apartment.

I was almost to the door when Kat intercepted me.

“I saw your book go live.”

“You did?” I was surprised.

“Sure. As an e-book. But I want a hard copy. You haven’t forgotten our deal, right?” She raised an eyebrow.

“No, I haven’t forgotten.” I smiled.

“Don’t forget, I get the first copy.” She snapped her fingers and then walked off down the hallway.

I let myself into my apartment. I was still feeling giddy with excitement. I couldn’t wait to see what the next few days would bring. Now that I’d published my first book, the world would have a chance to give its opinion on my writing. No matter what it was, my accomplishment couldn’t be taken away. It couldn’t be erased. I had done it and I was proud of it.

It was one small way that I was becoming more like Zara myself.

Single Wide Female: The Bucket List

#19 Walk Across Hot Coals

By

Lillianna Blake

Copyright © 2015 Lillianna Blake

Cover design by
Beetiful Book Covers

All rights reserved.

LilliannaBlake.com

Chapter 1

My fingers trembled in their position poised above my keyboard. This was it. This was the moment when my inspiration would strike. I was sure of it. I’d lit and positioned candles around my desk. There was soft music playing to help my mind drift into the book. Beside my computer was a small bowl of snacks to munch on so that I wouldn’t have to leave my chair. Everything was the way it needed to be in order for me to write.

But my fingers only trembled. They did not type.

“Ugh!” I wheeled back in my computer chair with frustration. I pushed a bit too hard and ended up slamming into the edge of my bed. The jarring collision made my neck jerk.

“Great, now I’ve got writer’s whiplash and writer’s block.”

This had been going on for the better part of a week. I stared at the same paragraph on the document that I’d been attempting to expand every day. It wasn’t getting any larger. On the other hand, the bowl of snacks beside my computer was dwindling quite quickly.

I felt as if I’d hit a stale point. Even though I was still dedicated to the bucket list, as well as to my diet, I hadn’t been following through very well. In fact, I had missed my last two exercise days. There was this sensation of laziness coursing through me.

“I can’t give up now.”

I stood up and walked over to the mirror. It had been a while since I really looked at my body. I had lost some weight, and that made it easy to just settle in and think that I could relax for a while. But it was easy for me to see that some of the weight was already beginning to sneak back on. Areas of my stomach that had at one time been closer to flat than fat were beginning to pooch out again. I was afraid that I saw the early stages of a double chin. It was happening far too fast.