Sin's Haven (13 page)

He left her for
a moment to find her top and when he had it, he sat down at her side and handed
it to her.
“Hazel, here.
Put this on. I won’t lie, I
don’t like what you did but I won’t leave you like this.”

“You don’t know
anything about me.”

Well, hell no,
he didn’t. That’s why they should talk. He hated feeling anger towards her but
she wasn’t making any sense and damn, she’d broken his heart. Never mind the
fact he’d been so close to her and now they may as well have been on opposite
coasts. “You’re right, I don’t,” he said back flatly.

Before he could
say he was willing to change that, maybe offer up a truce or a do-over, he
offered her blouse one more time. She refused it, stood up and still only
wearing her jeans, muttered words that chilled him to his bones.

“I couldn’t keep
him alive.
Didn’t want to hurt you, too.”

After those
chopped up words stunned him still and silent, he heard her bathroom door shut.
The lock clicked a second later.

His phone
couldn’t have rung at a worse time so he ignored it and stared at the slit of
light coming from under the bathroom door, ready to rip it from its hinges.

She hadn’t asked
him to leave. So where did he go?

He walked to her
bathroom and tried the doorknob just in case.
Locked.

“Hazel, please
come out.”

Nothing.

“Come on,
please. You have me worried out here.” He thought for sure that would work
since she’d admitted she didn’t want to hurt him.

“Just go,” she
said, barely loud enough for him to hear.

Unsure of what
else to do, but knowing he wouldn’t leave her right now, Ben made his way
around her small apartment. Maybe he was looking for clues or just an
understanding of the woman who had lied to protect his feelings.

The place was
simple and tidy and there wasn’t much to it, besides music in all its forms, neatly
stacked on end tables, under the coffee table, and on every available inch of
her entertainment center. On the kitchen counter she had a red cd player with a
few discs stacked at its side. He flipped through them and found some indie
groups even he’d never heard of and one movie soundtrack that explained how
she’d known about “Cling” on his birthday night disaster.

Quietly, he
opened her one and only other room with a door, aside from the bathroom. He
flipped on the light to what should be Hazel’s bedroom.

Stepping inside,
Ben noticed a few things. A tall dresser topped with a lamp and a framed photo,
a closet, and
an empty
clothes hamper. Some of Hazel’s
work aprons hung on the back of the door. No frills. But it was the thing that
was missing which tripped him up the most.

There was no
bed.

He knew all
about making do, getting by with what you had. But Hazel had the space and
worked so many
shifts,
she should have been able to
afford at least a mattress and box springs.
At the very
least, an air mattress.
He didn’t sleep much either because he was
always working, but the few hours he did get to lie down, his bed was like
heaven. She didn’t have that.

Saddened at how
empty and plain this little place felt when it should be celebrating all
Hazel’s vibrancy, he lingered inside the room an extra minute, not satisfied
with all the questions popping into his head.

Ben backtracked
to the dresser that came to his mid-chest level. His first thought was that it
was way too tall for Hazel. But that didn’t stick around for long because of
who he saw in the framed photo.

Hazel’s face was
lit up like someone had been tickling her and she was trying not to bust up
laughing. Her grin made him swallow. Standing just behind her was a guy who
looked to be about Ben’s height because Hazel only came to his chest. He wore a
black and white striped shirt that barely contained linebacker sized biceps.
The guy was smiling with a microphone in his hand while he hugged Hazel from
behind. Ben squinted to see closer and recognized that they were on a dark
stage in a dark room. And it looked like the guy was trying to get the
microphone to Hazel’s mouth, which she was doing her best to avoid. But they
looked happy.

Was this the guy
she was so hung up on? What had she said? She couldn’t keep him alive?

Now he noticed
the frame. It had been customized in a way he appreciated. It looked like Hazel
had inscribed all along the silver with a black marker. He read in his head,
Jay and Hazel…The Club…Love You Forever
…
The date she’d written was one year old exactly. He had to turn it upside down
to read the very last sentence.
I will
always know you, my brave beautiful man.

Oh shit. This
was the guy she hadn’t been enough for. And Ben was pretty sure he’d died.

He made his way
back out to her kitchen, found what he needed to brew a pot of coffee, and then
sat down to wait. No matter how long it took her to come back out, he’d be
there waiting.

Chapter Eleven

It was quiet
when she lowered her hands to her lap.

Hazel’s ears
hurt the way they did when she slept on them for too long, mashing them against
the couch arm. She eased her hands away from the sides of her head, hearing for
the first time something other than the pulse at her wrists.

Was he still out
there?

How could he be?

She didn’t know
what time it was but it had to have been an hour she’d been in here now. Who
waited that long?
After what she’d done to him?

A new sob nearly
made her choke. She’d let her body go through the convulsions of crying but had
kept the sound in check. This one came out before she could hold it back.

“Hazel?” she
heard him say from the other side of the door. His feet made shadows at the
crack near the floor. “Hazel, are you okay?” He sounded sleepy.

Thank God he
sounded alright. His voice was even and mostly clear. She pressed her sore ear
to the door to hear
better
.

“Please come
out. I’d like to see you before I have to go. I want to make sure you’re okay.”
He waited. She waited. “I’m not mad. Please, I only have a few more minutes
until I have to go.”

A few more
minutes wasn’t long enough to explain why she’d lied to him or even begin to
try and talk about Jay. But with her luck, it was plenty to inadvertently hurt
him again. Without meaning to, it was apparently all she was capable of when it
came to Ben. Hazel scrubbed her face with her hands. Frustration didn’t come
close to what held her.

She would not
beg him to stay so she could explain. She would not do that to him.

He sounded well
enough. The best thing, if she really cared about this man, was to let the
universe have its way and carry him out her front door.
Back
to his work and his friends and his home with all his perfect white tees.
His stripes and cheeseburgers.
Her eyebrows crinkled,
threatening new tears. Quietly, she let them fall down her cheeks. He had
something to do. She would not interfere.

“Please leave,
Ben. Just go.”

It wasn’t what
she wanted.

Realizing that
didn’t matter was what dropped her to the floor with a thud.

****

“Hazel?”

Ben stared at
his watch. If he left now, he’d still make it to the studio with enough time to
finish the new site designs before Jaxon and the guys crawled out of bed for
their morning meeting about it. It was five a.m. The possibility existed that
Jaxon might actually not have gone to bed yet.

He dialed his
friend’s number.

“Yeah?”

“Hey Jaxon,
sorry I woke you up,” Ben said.

“What’s up,
Benny?” Jaxon sounded gruff.

“So I’m sorry I
woke you up but I’m not
gonna
have the new designs complete
for the meeting this morning with the guys.”

“Everything
okay?”

That wasn’t
surprising as Ben hadn’t missed an assignment since his tenure with Sin Pointe.
A scratching sound against the bathroom door made him look up but when it
stayed closed and no Hazel came out, it appeared he was imagining things. He
returned to his call.

“Yeah,
sort of.
I’m with a friend and I wouldn’t bail on you unless
this was important.”

Jaxon yawned.
“Anyway I can help with this
friend
?”

He hadn’t told
Jaxon because basically, his birthday night had been permanently removed from
any topics he ever planned to discuss with his boss. He’d even managed to keep
Hazel’s note to himself. Back when it had meant something else to him.

“No, it’s
something I need to deal with.”

“Well, I hate to
be a dick, but you have to be there, mate. Vance flew in late last night with
the new cover artist. They’re only in town this morning and you’re the only guy
who has cover art to show him. We’ll make it as quick a meeting as possible.
I’m sorry but that’s the best I can do. Where are you, anyway?”

“Nashville.”

“Well, at least
you’re not that far from the studio. I’ll see you there in an hour.” Jaxon
yawned and then the call ended.

“Dammit,” Ben
said and shoved his phone into his pants pocket when it proceeded to aggravate
the crap out of him by ringing again.

“Yeah?”

“Hey um, is this
Ben, Hazel’s friend?”

Ben cleared his
throat, totally unprepared for that one. “This is Ben. Can I help you?”

“Hey man, this
is Mark.
From the club.”

“Mark,
the owner.
Yeah um, can I help you?”

Ben couldn’t
think of any way Hazel’s boss would have gotten his number besides her sharing
it with him.
Which meant more than he had time to sort out
right now.

“I hope so. I
just noticed that Hazel’s truck was still in the parking lot when I pulled in a
few minutes ago and I wanted to make sure she’s okay. I called her phone but
there’s no answer. Have you by chance heard from her?”

Ben considered
taking a few steps away from the bathroom door in case she had really awesome
hearing like Trista and Lily. Those girls heard everything. On second thought,
he looked for another room. The only one available was the bed-
less bedroom
and he got a feeling he didn’t belong in there.
If he stepped outside the apartment, he risked not being able to get back in.

Maybe those
thick curtains were hiding a balcony on the other side of the couch, something
he’d missed because he’d been lost in being so close to her earlier. He pulled
them back. Nope.
Just a window.

Time was ticking
by and Ben would have to leave soon anyway. Did it really matter if Hazel heard
what he was about to say to Mark?
Probably not.

“Hey Mark, Hazel
caught a ride back to her place with me last night. I uh, I kept her up late
talking so I don’t know if you’re expecting her in early this morning, but that
might not be happening. And I’m sorry, it was my fault.”

Mark was quiet
at first but then he said, “Ben, you know what last night was?”

He knew the date
was significant because Hazel had written it on the frame of her and Jay’s
picture. But Ben was clueless otherwise. “She didn’t want to talk about that.”

“Yeah, well
losing your fiancé the way she did is a pretty devastating thing. I’m not
surprised. Last night was one year since it happened.”

“Oh shit,” Ben
said, rubbing his forehead as too many thoughts bombarded him. He doubted Mark
would divulge any more information about that out of respect to Hazel’s
privacy. “I’m about out of time, Mark. But uh, to answer the reason you called.
I think she’s okay. Just needs some rest. That being said, you might stop by if
you don’t hear from her after a bit.” If she wouldn’t come out for Ben, he’d be
sure and have someone there who she would answer.

“All right man,
take it easy,” said Mark.

Ben ended that
call.

He was
officially out of time and so he walked directly to the bathroom door and
patted his hand against it a few times.

“Hazel, I have
to go. If you’re not going to say goodbye—that hurts.” Not at all what he
planned to say, but sometimes the truth had a way of sneaking out. “I at least
would like to know that you’re going to be okay when I leave here right now.”

At that, the
bathroom door opened.

Red rimmed eyes
and nostrils told him she’d been crying some serious tears. Her breaths were
hitching on each inhale and exhale. She looked like she had enough in her to
make it to the couch, maybe.

“Come with me,
Hazel.”