Sin's Haven (12 page)

“Let me make
this up to you,” Hazel said, turning her face so that her words fell into his
hand that had been gently holding her head to him. She then kissed the corner
of his mouth where his lip was split.
And then the skin above
his left eye with the scratches.

“Okay,” he said
swallowing. Ben’s long, inviting neck held her in a trance of ‘should I or
shouldn’t I?’

She stared at
him after planting those little kisses on his face. Ben was the one person in
all this time who had stirred a passion she’d been missing for so long now. But
didn’t she owe Jay’s memory more time?
And of all the nights
for Ben to come to her.
What had she done to get on the bad side of timing
and the universe?

Ben made it that
much harder when he grunted and suffered more pain at her expense. He pulled
her on top of him and laid his head back on her couch. Through his clothes, she
could feel just how badly he wanted to be with her and how badly she wanted to
rub him and make his erection grow harder. She had to get this out now while
she could still think.

“Ben, about
Saturday night…” she whispered into his neck.

“Hmm?” he said,
holding her to him. His hand had just made its way down her back to her butt
and he cupped her and squeezed while the other petted her hair.

Reacting to his
touch, she thrust her hip bones where they met up against his stomach.
“Nothing, just that…I want you, Ben.”

“I want you too,
Hazel.”

Her hand
instinctively made its way down what was left of his t-shirt, traveling until
she found the warmest, hardest part of him inside his pants. Ben wanted her.
Maybe even needed her.

He was so long
and hard, all man, and she wanted him too.

This was
happening tonight.

Chapter
Ten

Ben wished he’d
have met Hazel six years ago. She was the kind of woman he should have been
waiting for.

Smells of
cherry, mint and heat were stuck on his clothes, all coming from the woman
sprawled over top of him on her couch, ready to go.

His hands held
one part of her body only to ache with need to feel another. There was so much
of her creamy skin he had to explore. Now he understood what it meant, not being
able to get enough.

He cupped her
breasts, one in each hand, just as she
raised
up and
tugged her top off, temporarily knocking his hands away. She hesitated, fingers
ready to unclasp her raspberry colored bra when she reached down, grabbed his
hands and placed them back over top her breasts. Her nipples were hard under
the material and he found that rubbing his thumbs over them brought her extreme
pleasure.

She stared down
at him and ground her pelvis against his stomach. She was so warm there, the
rubbing heat was mind-blowing. He wished he wasn’t so tall so their bodies would
have matched up at just the right spots. He could have scooted her down but
enjoyed kissing her neck and lips so much, he didn’t want to lose that. And his
stomach wasn’t complaining. Her tilted head and slightly opened mouth told him
she enjoyed how he held her to him. Or so he thought.

She frowned for
a second. “Help me, please?
In the back?”

Ah, she wanted
him to undo her pretty bra. “Yes,” he managed to say, and pulled her down so
that they were chest to chest. It took him a few tries but he got the little
clasps undone and when she raised herself back up, the bra fell to the floor.

“Oh, God, you’re
beautiful,” he said, clinging to the sight of her.

Ben had actually
seen plenty of breasts. It came with his line of work and the people he hung out
with. But he’d never seen any as beautiful as Hazel’s and none of those others
had ever been for him. He loved it when she lowered herself back down and
scooted up his body just enough so that one of her dark pink nipples landed on
his lips. The noise she let out was close to a purr so he gently kissed her
there and then sucked the little bead into his mouth. It felt like the first
time having her this way and he realized he might never get back the memory of
their actual first time together. He wanted to ask if that night had been this
good but her soft sounds of delight convinced him now was what mattered and he
needed to make sure tonight was perfect. That tonight was what they both
remembered.

“
Mmm
,” she said into his hair, distracting him from that thought
as he suckled her some more, pulling her nipple further into his mouth.

Her fingers
tightened in his hair when he moved to her other breast and licked, then blew
over that nipple until it too was beautiful, dark pink and hard between his
lips.

Nothing could
ruin this moment.

It got even
better when he felt her begin to tremble as she rubbed herself high on his
stomach. The crotch of her jeans scratched his skin but he would wait for her
to decide when those would come off.

Who in their
right mind had made this woman feel like she wasn’t enough? He licked his lips,
moved his hands to her sides and helped her grind against him for a few more
minutes until he pulled her face up to his and kissed her.

“I want
all
of you, Hazel,” he said, sliding his
hands down to her hips and guiding her down his body to where she’d made him so
hard he thought he might explode any second. But he wouldn’t, because he wanted
to be more than enough for her too.

****

“Then we need a
lot less clothes between the two of us. You first?” she asked and then sat up
on his belly and slid her hand under his shirt, up the middle of his stomach
and then back down. Did he have any idea how sexy those hairs were? As willing
and adoring as he’d been to her, she doubted Ben felt his own magnetism. But it
was there.
For her to take.
Right
there.
Rubbing against the parting of her cheeks each time she scooted
further back toward his legs. If she just stayed focused on Ben, on the moment,
she’d be fine. He’d be fine.

“I guess that’s
only fair,” he said, then grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled up,
groaning. That had to have hurt but he did it for her. When he had it mostly
over his head, she rushed it the rest of the way and tossed it to the floor.

Her eyes started
at that trail of hair down low on his trim belly while he sat upright,
harnessing her between his legs. Her fingers circled his belly button and then
traveled their way up the long trail at the center of his long, wide torso. She
remembered when she and Mark had hoisted Ben back to the office. Now she knew
why he’d been so heavy. There was so much of him and it all called to her,
begged her to rub against him and satisfy both their needs.

Her right hand
veered toward the left side of his chest and she followed it, watching her
fingers swirl over the light dusting of hair. She then leaned in and kissed the
skin around his flat nipple, pulling the hairs softly between her lips as she
pulled away and started to the other side. He shivered.

Oh….oh
Ben. Sweetheart, what…

What she saw then
broke her down.

Like the
self-made black marker drawings he had on his forearm, the skin of the right
side of his chest had been inked in this way as well. She felt herself
frowning, confused again and worried beyond belief.

The rudeness of
her staring was apparent but she couldn’t stop. Not until she examined it and
made sense of it. In a way it was beautiful that he’d expressed himself in this
way but it was also heartbreaking and Hazel wondered when he’d done it and if
he had plans to make it permanent.

Her fingers
traced the words. “Love Will Heal These Wounds.”

Oh
sweetheart, what wounds?
She thought as she then outlined the
jagged looking heart he’d drawn within those words with her fingernail.

Forgetting where
she was and what they were doing for a moment, she felt his hands go to her
shoulders and he squeezed.

“I didn’t know,”
she stuttered out. “I mean, it’s beautiful, Ben.
Really
beautiful.”

She was in awe
and complimenting him so why was his jaw clenched so tight?

****

Bastard,
that’s what you are.
A selfish bastard.
How could you
have done that to her?

“Ben? What’s
wrong? If it’s about your drawing, I didn’t mean to gawk. I like it…”

“But this is the
first time you’ve seen it.”

“Well yeah,
but—”

He took a hold of
her hand and moved it to his knee, a safe place perhaps. He then reached down
and grabbed the closest thing he could find, his t-shirt, and pressed it up
against her chest, tucking it under her arms. It was time for him to treat her
with an ounce of respect.

“Ben?”

He wished he had
his hat to pull over his face but knew that was wrong. Better to get this out
now. And maybe if he was lucky, someday, he’d get another chance.
But not before he said what he’d come to say in the first place.

“I owe you an apology,
Hazel. The disrespect I showed you Saturday night is unacceptable to me and I
hope it is to you, too.”

She tried to
interrupt him. “Ben, you’re the most well-mannered, thoughtful man I’ve ever
come across. I don’t understand. I thought you wanted this too.
Just as much as me.”

He touched her
face and then pulled his hand back, grinding his teeth together. This had to
come out. She had to hear him.

“Hazel, I don’t
remember a single thing about being with you that night. I was drunk and
selfish. And I had sex with you without even sharing at least my naked body. I
wish I could say I at least dropped my pants but I can’t because I don’t
remember. I couldn’t even remember your name. Or whether you were protected
because at this point, I’m sure I didn’t hold up my end of that part of the
deal. Hazel, I promise you, I came here tonight to own up to all that and
apologize, not take advantage of you again.”

Her mouth hung
open like words were caught in her throat.

She blinked so
many times he lost count.

His rant had
hurt her feelings. “Hey, I didn’t mean I don’t want to be here with you
tonight. Maybe I overreacted right now. But it’s just because I really care
about you. As much as I want you right now, I need you to know that, Hazel. I
would never have treated any woman like that, especially not you. And I’m so
so
sorry that I did.”

“You
didn’t,
hun
.” She paused and
fiddled with the shirt he’d tucked under her arms. She blew out a strong
breath. “We didn’t sleep together Saturday night.”

Her blinking
slowed.

“But…I don’t
understand. We didn’t?”

“No, we didn’t.”

“Someone left me
a note saying we’d had an amazing night together.” How
fricking
drunk and stupid had he been that night? “I assumed, and hoped, it was you.”

“It was my note,
Ben.”

“I don’t
understand. Why would you do that?”

Her head dropped
into her hands, hiding her face from him while she spoke. “I have my reasons.”

Was this why
she’d been on the verge of tears all night?

“Why
Hazel?”

“Because
I was worried about you that night.”

He shook his
head. He wanted to be tender with her but it felt like he’d been punched in the
gut this time.

Hazel’s eyes
shut tight.
“Because I wanted to make up for humiliating you
on your birthday.”

“You felt sorry
for me.”

At least with
her eyes closed, she wouldn’t see his disappointment. He’d been a complete
idiot, thinking she’d found him irresistible.

“I did. But you
don’t understand. I—”

“No, I get it. I
must seem pretty pathetic to you, then and now. Don’t feel bad, you were just
trying to be nice.”

There was no
escape on this little couch for him and his ego she’d bashed to pieces. But it
was more than that.
Erby
hadn’t broken his heart. But
Hazel had just now. As much as he knew that was because Hazel really mattered
to him, Ben stood up and searched the floor for his vest. It was the right
thing to do and she’d hurt him.

He shouldn’t
have, but he looked over at her, wishing he could erase the past ten minutes of
the night. Maybe they could get through this. How could he just leave her like
that? Yeah, those feelings would have mattered if she’d only met with him out
of something besides pity. She had both fists full of her red curls and had
pulled them back to the back of her head. “I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry.” She
started to tremble and shake but no tears came out.

God, he didn’t want
to leave her like this. Shit. He walked the few steps back to her side and
leaned down to try and
loosen
the grasp she had on her
hair but it was so tight. “Hey, Hazel, loosen up, you’re hurting yourself.” What
was the deal? This felt like more than just her feeling sorry about lying to
him.