Sister Betty Says I Do (16 page)

“Oh, I know that God can clean up anyone. I mean, look what He's done in my life.”

“Well, then,” Leotis said quickly, hoping this was the last of their conversation about Ima, “He can do it for Ima, too.”

“What you need to do is pray that He can do it for you.” Freddie's stare met that of Leotis, who had just swerved the car to keep from hitting a running squirrel.

“I'll tell you what, Trustee,” Leotis said with authority. “You don't talk about Ima, and I won't mention my Sister Betty.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel and began speaking to the rhythm he kept. “However, I must go and see about her. I know she's wondering why I haven't. And I've promised not to discuss you with her, even if she brings up your name. I won't even mention her name to you, either.”

“You can discuss my Honey Bee all you want.”

Leotis's jaw dropped. “What are you talking about? What's happened?”

“God's got this,” Freddie said, smiling. “I've nothing to lose now. I'm throwing it all into God's hands. I've no time to let the Devil get a toehold on my remaining days.”

“Does Sister Betty know about your sudden change of heart and plans?”

“If she don't know,” Freddie said with a tired smile, “she will. She's a praying woman. God can and will show her what's up with our wedding plans, just like He did me. Either way, I'm not giving up on having that ole gal in my life some kinda way.” Freddie stopped smiling, and his look became one of concern. “You, on the other hand, need to follow your own sermon.”

“Which one?”

“The one you just preached this morning. You need to be the one doing all that watching and praying. What God was saying through you might have been more for you than for the rest of us.”

What Freddie had just said dropped like a rock into Leotis's spirit, and for the rest of the way he said nothing more.

It'd taken Ima a while to calm down. Each time she'd started to reenter the church, she'd stopped and thought,
Don't I like a good challenge? What's Sharvon got on me? I light that man's fire. She can only douse the flames with her do-good ideas.
Ima had finally concluded that confronting Sharvon wasn't a good idea. It would not leave a good impression on either Leotis or the congregation, which she hoped to win over.
Let that woman have her dreams. They'll only be nightmares if she goes too far.
Concluding she had the upper hand and better looks, Ima got back inside her car and drove away.

 

The first person Sister Betty and Sharvon ran into as they entered the sanctuary for the eleven o'clock service was Bea. Sharvon immediately walked away, after telling Sister Betty that she needed to speak with someone she recognized before the service began. “You just tell the usher that we need two seats,” she told Sister Betty before she walked away. “I'll be back in a few minutes.”

Bea and Sasha had arranged to go to separate services that morning. They figured if Sister Betty and Trustee Freddie came to church separately, then either Bea or Sasha could keep an eye on them. If they came together, then the two women could put away any plans of getting them back together. Either way, Bea and Sasha already had their event-planning debut set in stone, and Sister Betty and Freddie would be a part of it.

“You're looking well rested this morning,” Bea told Sister Betty.

“Why wouldn't I?”

“Well, we haven't chatted since that little misunderstanding at your home, when Trustee Freddie—” Bea stopped and looked around the sanctuary before she whispered, “When the trustee was staying in your bedroom, naked.”

Sister Betty shifted her Bible to the other hand, straightened the small, white, mesh-material, beanie-shaped hat upon her head, then leaned in as she, too, whispered to Bea. “Viagra.”

Bea jumped back so fast, the arch in her back almost straightened. “Harrumph!” Bea said before she turned and scurried away.

An usher escorted Sister Betty to one of the pews near the front of the sanctuary. She found Sharvon already seated there and chatting with one of the deacons. It didn't take long for one of the associate ministers chosen to give the sermon to get started, and he brought the service to a close much quicker than Leotis would've liked, had he still been there.

Although the service had ended some time ago, Sister Betty had insisted on hanging around and greeting some people she hadn't seen in a while. Sharvon almost had to drag her from the church so they could go home.

“Even though Leotis didn't preach the eleven o'clock service,” Sister Betty told Sharvon as they drove back home, “I figured he'd at least be in his study or close by.”

Sister Betty had been throwing hints and asking about Leotis for the past ten minutes, ever since she discovered Leotis had left the church after the eight o'clock service, but she had managed to do this without ever mentioning Freddie.

Sharvon needed to fashion a reply that wasn't a total lie. “I really don't know what to tell you.”

“Well,” Sister Betty said as she fiddled with the car's air-conditioning knob and turned down the radio, “you never did mention why you were standing in his doorway yesterday.”

“You saw me?” Sharvon hadn't meant to respond in a way that could bring about more questions. In fact, she hadn't thought at all about the possibility of her cousin seeing her and Leotis on his front porch. Since they'd left in his car almost immediately, she had just assumed that no one had seen them. “It wasn't much of anything,” Sharvon lied. “I, too, had wondered why he hadn't been by the house, and he apologized about it.” Sharvon's face lit up as she spoke, because even if she was making it up as she went along, she was going to milk that apology for all it was worth.

“That's very sweet of him,” Sister Betty replied. “I just wanted to tell him that I'm thinking about taking a short vacation. Perhaps I'll go to Myrtle Beach, read the Word, and spend some time with the Lord.”

“Where's this coming from? I've never heard you mention Myrtle Beach before.”

“I've never been there.” Sister Betty turned to look out the window again. “There's so many things I've never done before that I'd like to experience.”

Sharvon said nothing more. One of the many things Sister Betty had failed to mention was a trip down the aisle. She quickly sped up. Somehow after she took her cousin home, she was going to talk with Leotis. The sooner the old couple realized that what they'd had was just a misunderstanding, the quicker they could get back to making those wedding plans. And if she and Leotis couldn't come up with something, she knew who could.

T
he Tuesday afternoon following that Sunday's morning service, Ima visited Sasha's apartment. She went there to discuss the act she'd put on at the church. Since it'd been Sasha's idea in the first place; Ima's ego needed stroking. After all, she thought she'd put on quite a show, throwing herself upon the church's altar while doing the same to Leotis's libido.

It turned out that Ima would need to listen to Sasha rant about the pot roast that'd burned because she'd taken the church bus home.

Ima shot back in her seat at the kitchen table. She'd listened to enough. “I'll take you to dinner, and you can order all the damn pot roast you want!”

“I want no profanity in my home!” Sasha slammed down the pot she'd just taken off the stove. “Respect my home, where the good Lord abides.”

“I see,” Ima replied as she stood and towered over her aunt. “When we discuss me tempting Leotis in front of God's altar and congregation, making Leotis propose to me, and me becoming the first lady, that's okay with the good Lord, who resides in your home?”

“I have my standards,” Sasha said stubbornly, looking up and almost bumping Ima on the chin with her bun. “You can always walk or drive them ten blocks back to your own low-rent apartment and stay hidden from anyone trying to deliver a certified letter, like you've been doing ever since you came back here. In that place you can do all the cussing you want, but in my home . . . my standards.”

“You don't have standards, Aunt Sasha. And I ain't afraid of no pieces of paper, certified or otherwise. You're having delusions.”

“Whatever I have,” Sasha said adamantly, “it still resides in my home.”

Suddenly the two women stepped back and burst into laughter. They hugged and did a quick two-step before going into Sasha's living room.

“How long have we been going at one another like this?” Sasha teased.

“Since the day I could walk, talk, and learn to shut up and stay out of your business.” Ima's eyes twinkled. “You know I love you like any true Hellraiser would.”

Sasha's lips began to curl. “I know you put me out of your car and onto that slow-behind church bus, and then you told me that you'd changed your mind about going inside the church and taking Sharvon down a peg or two.”

“Like I said . . . ” Ima laughed, as though she'd not heard Sasha mention Sharvon's name. “I love you like a true Hellraiser. Now, let's discuss part two of the plan.”

However, Sasha insisted that Ima first eat before getting down to business. After serving the burnt pot roast she had saved from that past Sunday just for Ima, Sasha watched her niece pretend to enjoy what she was certain tasted like crow.

 

Back at Sister Betty's house, Sister Betty rose, her knees stiff after having a long noonday prayer. Grabbing her Bible from its place on the table, she read a few scriptures, placing scallop-edged purple bookmarks between the pages she felt needed revisiting. Sharvon was back on her hectic schedule for the week, so for the most part, Sister Betty stayed home alone.

The one thing that brightened her day was news that Leotis was stopping by later that afternoon. Hearing the front doorbell, she smoothed her apron and went to answer the door.

She flung the door open wide. “Well, look who's finally come to see about me,” she told him. The wide smile on her face betrayed the annoyance she feigned.

A short time later, over homemade chicken noodle soup and tuna sandwiches, they ran out of church business to discuss. It was she who finally mentioned Freddie by name.

“I understand some of the men,” she began, while putting away the dishes, “including Freddie, are preparing for a fall concert to raise monies for the prison ministry. How is he doing with it? I hope he's taking better care of himself. He has high blood pressure, you know.” Without waiting to see if what she'd said made Leotis uncomfortable, she patted him on his shoulder. Then she quickly added with a sigh, “I know that you already know that he and I haven't seen each other or spoken much to one another in the past few weeks.”

She left the conversation open for him to jump right in and fill in the blanks.

Leotis didn't answer right away. Instead, he placed his fingers together, forming a steeple. He thought about what he and Sharvon had discussed the past Sunday evening. Neither of them had figured out a way to ease the old couple back together. Sharvon still feared Sister Betty would be livid if she discovered that it was she, Sharvon, who had caused Sasha to head off in the wrong direction, one which sent Freddie off the rails and to the wrong conclusion.

“Well, I'm still waiting for the final proposal,” Leotis finally said. “Elder Batty is working with the trustee on getting permission from the prison to hold a concert there.”

“But that's not leaving too much time,” she told him. “It's already the middle of August. Both of them and the entire men's team should've had that done months ago. Why are you men so hardheaded?”

Leotis laughed and nodded. “I'm afraid I don't have an answer. Perhaps God just made us that way.” He said nothing more for a moment and simply looked at his watch, something he'd been doing for the past few minutes. “But maybe at the next prayer and testimony meeting, I can mention it again and put some fire under them,” he mused, breaking his silence. “By the way, folks have been asking why you haven't been to prayer meeting in a while. I guess that's partially my fault. I haven't really been able to take you.”

“It's not your fault. If I'd really wanted to go, I wouldn't have waited on you. But since you say folks have been commenting, next time tell them I've been praying at home,” she said slowly. “I'm just trying to spend time alone with the good Lord.” She would've said more, but she saw he was still checking his watch, without really appearing to listen. Looking at her wall clock, she asked, “Am I keeping you from something?” That time she didn't try to hide her disappointment.

“Of course you aren't.” Leotis forced a laugh. “You know I'm a healthy eater, except when it comes to your baking, but I can't cook. I need to pick up something before I head off to a meeting. A man can't live on soup and sandwiches, you know.”

Sister Betty still wouldn't smile. She might not have seen him in a while, but she knew her pastor. Something wasn't right. But she'd told God that she would not interfere in anyone's business, unless God wanted her to. She didn't feel a pain in her knees or anything akin to a spirit telling her to butt in, and so she would not.

“It's nearly two thirty,” he announced. Leotis stood up, his way of indicating that he was about to leave.

Sister Betty was about to say something, but her telephone rang. “I don't know who this could be.” She looked at it and raised her brow. “But the number does look familiar.”

“You'll probably need to get that,” Leotis told her. “I'll let myself out. But like the Terminator, I'll be back,” he said in his deep voice. He then laughed and headed through her foyer toward the front door. Leotis knew who was calling, and it'd happened just in time. “Your idea better work, Sharvon,” he whispered.

It'd been Sharvon's idea to get more involved when neither she nor Leotis could come up with a plan to get her cousin Betty and Freddie back together, or at least on speaking terms. Since there wasn't much time, Sharvon had called on the only gun-toting, preaching ex-convict deacon in her family—Sister Betty's first cousin and Sharvon's second cousin, Deacon Thurgood Pillar. Thurgood, a skinny man who had worn a hardened and greasy forties-style conk for most of his life and had the worst sense of style since Adam wore fig leaves, had become the go-to man for all things romantic and spiritual.

Thurgood and his wife, Delilah, were experts when it came to elderly love. The two were always happy and were known to make their bedsprings surrender. They had remarried after forty years of estrangement. It'd taken the sudden death of their son Jessie's wife to make them see how foolish they'd been to part in the first place. They'd parlayed their experiences into a successful counseling career.

“You have a blessed day,” Sister Betty called out to Leotis before she heard her front door shut, and picked up her telephone.

“Hello. Praise God.”

“Hey, gal,” a male voice said, laughing. “It's your New York City slicker cousin, Thurgood. I'm calling to check up on you. Me and Dee Dee been getting things together for your big day next month. Ain't been no easy task getting you married. I'm prouder than an old rooster with an extra comb to walk you down that aisle.”

Sister Betty heard Delilah, her cousin Thurgood's beautiful Lena Horne look-alike, acid-tongued deaconess wife, whom he always lovingly called Dee Dee, chime in. “That's right. We seniors in love gotta stick together. As your matron of honor, chile, I can't wait to put you in the hands of a good stylist. You gonna look much better than anything bought from Beyoncé's House of Deréon. Not quite certain how it's pronounced.” Delilah took a breath and added, “Whatever the name is of the gal married to that rapper, the one using two letters from the alphabet for his name. You know the gal I'm talking about.”

As happy as Sister Betty was to hear from a couple who were the same age as she and Freddie, Thurgood and Delilah were the last ones she'd expected to call. And she certainly didn't want to talk about Freddie or tell them that there might not be a wedding.

“This is such a surprise,” Sister Betty said, meaning every word. “I hadn't expected to hear from you two this soon, since you seem to travel so much.”

“Ain't that the truth,” Delilah remarked. “You know me and my Thurgood still traveling around the country, giving safe-sex and relationship seminars to seniors.”

“That's right,” Thurgood added. “Whole lot of old folks getting HIV and AIDs, instead of getting the regular stuff, like high blood pressure and dementia.”

“Oh, stop it,” Delilah snapped. “Your cousin Betty fixing to get married. You and I know she ain't raised nothing but praise to the Lord, and not her legs. She don't need to be hearing about no STDs and such.”

“Yeah,” Thurgood replied. “You're right, Dee Dee. But I don't know too much about the man she's marrying. If he's like most, then she still needs to know what's happening, because I'm sure he ain't heard from everyone he's touched.”

“We're here in Greenville, getting ready to hold a seminar this weekend,” Delilah said.

“That's right,” Thurgood added. “We weren't supposed to get in till this Thursday, but it was cheaper to fly in a day or so early.”

“So,” Delilah said, “you know there ain't no way in this world that we're this close to you and don't drop by. Ain't that right, Thurgood?”

Sister Betty slowly sat, with the phone still attached to her ear. As they always did, Thurgood and Delilah had started a conversation with her, only to end up talking to each other. All she could do was listen as they talked about her and wait until they talked to her.

 

Leotis was almost fifteen minutes late in picking up Freddie from his latest oncology visit. He'd learned last week that Freddie's participation in the cancer trial would soon end and Freddie would not need a stem cell transplant. Freddie had gone through all the testing and had fared much better than some of the other participants, who would need donors. He'd already endured a two-day procedure involving harvesting stem cells from his own blood, which would be available should he ever need them. After getting the news, Leotis and Freddie had been overjoyed as they sat at the kitchen table, praising God that day that Freddie would not need a stem cell transplant, after all.

“Looks like you're beginning to get your old color back,” Leotis told him as they pulled out of the hospital's parking lot.

“That's right,” Freddie said. “The folks at the hospital told me that it shouldn't take long before I won't look like I've been sleeping on and off in an Easy-Bake Oven.” He reached up and tapped the top of his head. “Don't know when this little peach fuzz I got will grow out, but I don't think I'm gonna be mad if I don't get that one-piece I've been pulling on for years. But I said I'd leave all this up to the Lord, and that's what I'm gonna do.”

“Just claim your healing, Trustee. God has the final say, because all man can do, whether it's cancer or something just as bad, is give a diagnosis. God's in charge of the prognosis.”

“Amen,” Freddie replied. “Amen.”

As they neared Leotis's house, Freddie decided to share some other news with Leotis. “Reverend Tom,” Freddie began. “I'm so grateful for all the hospitality you've given me over these past weeks, but I think it's time I get back to my own home. I sorta miss it, and I don't want to keep on intruding.”

“You are no bother,” Leotis said. “I've enjoyed your company.”

“I gotta tell you something else, too,” Freddie said as he began laughing. “I had an ulterior motive or two.”

“Well, those motives must be a hoot. I haven't seen you laughing the way you are now in quite some time.”

“Don't know if you will think it's funny, but I stayed partially so I could be closer to my Honey Bee. Around the corner would've been too far away, should the Lord give me a sign to see her.”

“I'm glad that you are still waiting on the Lord and haven't completely written her off.” Leotis smiled. “And what's your other motive or motives?”

“I had hoped that Ima or that big mouth, Sasha, would come around.” Freddie laughed harder. “I'm still waiting on God to ease my heart on them two. But so far every time I think about them, my fists ball up.” Freddie's tone then turned serious. “And I definitely wanted to block whatever sexy pitch Ima threw your way.”