Sister Heart (9 page)

its fleece was white as snow

everywhere that Mary went

the lamb was sure to go

Say the rhyme, Annie!

My voice won't work

I can't say it

Teacher's face is red

and twisted

and furious

You are not the first

rebellious child

to arrive here

Whack!

She smacks the stick hard

on my table

Janey and Nancy

jerk in surprise

Teacher waits for me to speak

waits

and waits

Hand holding the stick is shaking bad

Put out your hands!

I hold out my trembling hands

She brings the stick

down flat on my palms

whack – whack!

whack – whack!

Hurts

I – will – not – cry!

Teacher grabs my arm

pulls me out

Hits my back

my legs

again and again

harder and harder

I shove her away

and run from school

Run

run

run

to the crying tree

Later

in the crying tree

Janey looks at the marks

on my hands

and back

and legs

You got bruises

and cuts

and skin is swellin' up

some of the cuts are bleedin'

She got you with the hard edge

I hate her, Annie

says Tim

She's like a big boy bully

but lots meaner

He gives me a mudlark feather

to help me feel better

Legs'll be stiff tomorrow

says Janey

But if you pretend

they not killin' you

won't hurt so much

I think I will hurt bad

no matter what I pretend!

I am not allowed

to have dinner

because

it is disrespectful

to trick Teacher

and laugh behind her back

Only I didn't

I am not allowed

to have dinner

because

I have done something

really bad

I shoved Teacher

I am not allowed

to have dinner

because

I don't know my place

If I ever

touch Teacher again

I will get the cane

or the strap

or worse

Janey

sneaks bread

into the sleeping room

Nancy

sneaks bush berries

Emmy and Dot

sneak wet rags

to cool my bruises

and wipe the bits of blood

I am too sad to eat bread and berries

Eatin' makes you tougher

Janey says

You got to get tougher, Annie

Nuh, Janey

says Nancy

Teacher got it in for her now

Be watchin' for a chance

to have another go

Annie got to talk

But I can't talk

Sometimes

I feel my voice

rattling inside me

like a trapped thing

trying to get out

My voice got lost

when bully boots policeman

took me from the station

Don't know

when it will come back

I dream

I am with Aunty Adie

working in the Big House

on the station

When I was little

Aunty is telling me

I had to be learning new things

Now

you have to be learning new things, too

The Big House

is a different world

to the out-camp

Boss likes his own way

I wanted to stay with Mum

in the out-camp all the time

I didn't want to work in the Big House

Aunty's face goes blank

This is my outside face

Aunty's face goes smiley

This is my inside face

She pats my cheek gently

You do the same

I make an outside face

I make an inside face

I wake crying

School is a different world

different to the station

different to the ship

When I left the ship

I left with an outside face

I walked like I wasn't afraid

even though I was

I walked like I was brave

If I walk like I am tough

will I get tougher?

Hope so

This bad place

is getting badder

In the morning

Janey says

You okay, Annie?

I hurt all over

But I nod that I'm okay

Don't run, will ya?

I'm worryin' you'll run

How does Janey know

I've been watching the track

that lets people into this place?

Ever since I got here

I have been wondering

if I follow the track

if I keep running

will I get home?

I am a good runner

Faster than my cousins

When I run

no one can catch me

Runnin' is bad

Janey says

Nearly everyone gets caught

I ran once

Got caught

got big trouble with it!

But that was when I first come here

before I found Tim

Can't run now

can't leave me little brother

I want to run far away

I want to run

and run

and run

But a ship brought me here

How can I run on water?

Janey says

I'll make you a promise, Annie

I'll get Teacher back for what she did

You watch

I'm gunna make her pay!

My legs slowly get better

marks fade

cuts scab

But Janey's legs

are hurting something terrible!

Janey is lying on her belly

on her bed

She got the strap

for stealing Teacher's glasses

Why you steal 'em, Janey?

asks Nancy

Ya didn't even hide 'em

Dot says

Everyone saw 'em

says Emmy

pokin' up under ya top

Course someone gunna tell

on you for a sweet!

Janey laughs

then winces in pain

I got them glasses

real sweaty and foggy

When Teacher yelled

at me to give 'em back

I dropped the stinky things

right into her hands

Shoulda seen her face

thought she might spew

You reckon she wear

them mucky things now?

Nancy laughs

You a smart little sou'wester!

Janey
is
smart

Tough too

But Janey is hurting

I pick up my blanket

I lay it softly over her

Janey groans

What Teacher gunna do without glasses?

Told ya I'd make her pay, Annie!

Janey can't walk good yet

but she is walking proud

Teacher's got ugly glasses

They not her glasses

Janey says

they borrowed

She can't see much

That's why she wearing

her top inside out today

Ugly glasses

make Teacher's eyeballs

huge

Knife-face got bug eyes

says Tim