Read Sisters of Heart and Snow Online
Authors: Margaret Dilloway
S
AN
D
IEGO
Present Day
I
n the late morning of the following day, Drew and I go up to UCSD and walk over to the Geisel Library. The translator Drew found last night is a grad student in Medieval East Asian history, and he agreed to meet us here.
Quincy wants me to take her shopping this afternoon, so Drew's offered to chauffeur my son on his after-school activities. Win-win for me. It's like having a Rachel clone, which I've always needed. “What kind of job are you going to look for?” I ask her as we walk across campus. All the students seem to be in shorts and flip-flops. Another hot October day.
Drew shrugs. “I need to let that simmer on the back burner for a while.”
“How about a music job?” I try to think of different ways she could make a living. “Could you play for a TV show or at Disneyland or in another band?”
Drew's shoulders visibly stiffen. “It's not that easy, okay?” She doesn't look at me. Which means she doesn't want to talk. “Let's just concentrate on this.”
We open the door to the library. Named after Dr. Seuss, one of La Jolla's most famous residents, the library looks like a blocky, mirrored diamond encased in concrete prongs. The samurai story hangs heavy on my shoulder.
I'm glad to step into the humidity-controlled, air-conditioned library. Inhale the smell of books. Because they still have real, honest-to-goodness tomes in here. Not just electronic copies. Floor to ceiling, eight levels of knowledge. If I attended this school, I'd set up a cot in the stacks and sleep here. I just want to run around in here all day, collecting big stacks of books to read. I'm amazed at the number of computers. No more card catalogs.
We step inside, but don't see anybody looking for two women. No waves. “Is Quincy still playing piano?” Drew asks me. Quincy took lessons for ten years. She stopped when she was sixteen, but Drew, I realize, doesn't know it.
“No time. Engineering's pretty demanding.” A little wellspring of worry bubbles into my stomach, thinking about Quincy. Nope. Can't change it. Not going to think about it.
“It's hard to make a living at music,” Drew says, a bit wistfully. “I kind of wish I'd been an engineer, just so I'd have a career.”
“No you don't. You hate math. You would have quit the first year.” I'm not putting her downâjust stating a fact. I'm not a math person, either. My daughter is.
“I wouldn't have.” Drew crosses her goose-pimply arms. “I'm good at math. I just don't like doing it.”
A young man in the foyer waves. He wears a white T-shirt topped with a blue scarf and black-rimmed glasses. Dark bangs flop onto his goateed face, and his jeans are tighter than Brooke Shields's in that long-ago Calvin Klein ad. He's not much older than my daughter. Wow. I
am
ancient. “Rachel? Drew?”
“Is the name Bond?” Drew raises her brows. “Joseph Bond.”
“At least they didn't name me James,” Joseph says drily. “Let's find a table.” We walk past the circulation desk, and he gestures toward a seat at a long study table where students are lined up with open laptops.
“So how do you know Japanese?” I sit opposite him. “Did you study it in school?”
“I grew up in Japanâmy dad worked for Sanyo.” Joseph's eyes are blue behind his glasses, the scarf making them stand out even more.
I place the book on the table. “First, I'd like to know who sent it.” I point to the return address on the box. There are numbers on the first line: 601-7934. “How do you read the address? Is this a house number?”
“No.” Joseph gets out a pad of paper and writes down the translation. “In Japan, they begin with the equivalent of the zip code. The name is on the last line.”
The name he writes in his hyper-neat, left-handed print is for a Hatsuko Minamoto in Kyoto. I have no idea who that is. I've heard of Kyoto, at leastâit's in central Honshu, southwest of Tokyo. “Hatsuko. Do you know her?” he asks.
“No.” I've never heard my mother mention anybody who lived in Japan or anyone in her family. She didn't even really talk about what it was like growing up. I do know that she grew up in the city, and that she's taller than either of her parents, because I'd asked. That pretty much sums it up.
Perhaps this woman knows the secret about my mother that Killian is threatening to reveal. What did my mother do? I wonder. Did she kill someone? Was she a spy? My imagination runs wild, and I inwardly curse my father for deliberately leaving his message so vague. But I wouldn't expect anything less from Killian.
I lace my fingers together and try to let my mind relax. I watch Joseph work, his super long fingers diligently scratching away. Then I sit up straight.
I remember. Yes, there was one time when Killian made some kind of threat to Mom.
I started swim team when I was five, taking lessons at the La Jolla Beach and Tennis Club. Kindergartens were a half day back then, so Mom would pick me up, Drew in tow, and take us over to the club. Often, we'd get a snack afterward. Pretty simple stuff.
On one occasion, another mother invited us to the park afterward to play with her little girls. I remember being giddily excited at having friends. At seeing my mother chatting and laughing with another mother. It got late.
When we arrived home, Killian was already in front of the television, an Old-Fashioned in his hand. The sun was low, sending bright golden light into the room.
My mother set Drew down. “Take your sister to play.” I took Drew's hand but lingered on. The scent of chlorine clung to my damp hair. I walked her slowly into the hallway next to the living room, where Drew began rearranging a collection of stone animals on a small table. I could see and hear my parents.
Killian set his glass down. “It's five-thirty.”
“Yes,” Mom said. “Still light. It's almost summer. Very warm today.”
He fingered the rim of the glass. “It's dinnertime.”
My mother nodded quickly. She bustled around, picking up the mail he'd left opened and discarded over the coffee table, two used plates. “Yes. What would you like to do?”
“To do?” Killian laughed. “I'd like to eat, that's what I'd like to do. That's why you're here.”
“I'm sorry.” My mother bowed her head. “I lost the time. We have cold cuts. I can make sandwiches.”
“That's not the point.” Spittle flung out of his lips. “There's dirty dishes in the sink. Crumbs on the floor. Who wants to come home to that?”
Mom said nothing.
“You're doing too much outside the house,” Killian said. He pointed at her. “You can do one activity a week with them. That's it.”
My mother stiffened, then turned away. “It's important for the girls to see other children. To play.”
He waved his hand. “Drew's a baby. She doesn't care. Rachel sees kids at school and swim. That's plenty.”
Mom walked into the hallway.
“You're getting too many big ideas from these other liberated women!” Killian called to her. “Don't you go thinking you're a feminist. I can send you back where you came from with one phone call.”
I remember looking up at my mother, not knowing what that meant. She smiled at me reassuringly, but the plates clinked and trembled.
One phone call? Was his threat idle? What could that possibly mean? I play with the strap to my bag, feeling its scratchiness against my fingers.
All I know is that this is the only memory I have of Mom standing up to my father.
“Did you know that Kyoto used to be called Miyako, and was once the capital of Japan?” Joseph tears off the piece of paper and hands it to me.
I shake myself free of the reverie. “No, I didn't. Thank you.” I'll have to ask my mother who Hatsuko is. If she can tell me, which is increasingly unlikely.
Drew reads my mind. “I'll visit Mom today and ask.”
I nod at her, take out my notebook. A flicker of doubt about Drew taking that on passes through me. Why do I always feel this doubt wherever Drew's concerned? She's never screwed up my stuff. I am just a control freak. I put my cold hand on top of hers. “Say hi to her, okay?”
She gives me a strange look.
Mom doesn't know us.
“Sure.”
“Maybe she'll have a good day.”
Drew inhales. “Never has when I've been there.”
I put my arm around her shoulder and give her an awkward, stiff half-hug.
Mom loves you,
I want to say, but I don't want to have to overexplain to Joseph.
Joseph takes a pair of white cotton gloves out of his satchel and pulls them on. He opens the cardboard box, gingerly lifts out the book.
“Should we be using those gloves, too?” We've been ruining an antique.
He looks at the spine, at the pages. “I'd say it's no more than sixty years old, honestly. Handwritten. But I wouldn't want to be the one who messes it up.” Joseph writes on his legal pad and looks up at us. “This is the story of Tomoe Gozen.
Gozen
means âlady.' Tomoe's big in Japan.” His voice rises. “It's not a letter at all. It's a story.”
I look at what he wrote.
Tomoe held the round bronze mirror with steady hands and fought her nervous pulse. A warrior stared back at her, in full battle dress.
“I've never heard of her. Was she a samurai woman?” I whisper. I say her name in my head the same way Joseph did.
TOE-moh-eh go-ZEN.
Joseph assumes a professorial tone. “The term âsamurai' only applies to men. It means âmale warrior.' The term for women is
onnamusha
, âfemale warrior.' You should try not to confuse them.”
Great. He's going to be one of
those
guys. Well, at least the translation will be accurate. “I've never heard of . . .
onnamusha
.”
“Few have. It's easier for the layperson to say âsamurai woman.'” He glances at me. “Some think this Tomoe was a real person, some don't. Legend says she was the captain of a samurai general named Minamoto no Yoshinaka, also known as Kiso, which basically means âhillbilly.' He was involved in a big war in the late twelfth century. The Genpei War.”
Drew's brow crinkles. She's paying attention now. “Women fought back then? They only just got allowed into combat in this country. I wonder what changed?”
His eyes open wide and the glasses slide down his nose. “Oh, they fought. Empress Jingu of Japan, who ruled from 170 to 260
AD
, supposedly led an invasion of Korea while she was almost nine months pregnant. Most fighting women defended their homes against invasion, while the men were off in their battles. If they didn't, they were raped or given away as spoils of war. Women were just property back then.”
“Property.” That's how Killian treats my mom. How he treated his daughters. Pretty dolls who were supposed to be compliant. Follow his bidding, because he knew best. Was he a samurai in a former life? It wasn't just the samurai who did that. That's how things were.
“Minamoto.” Drew clears her throat. “The same name as the lady who sent it to her? So this Hatsuko Minamoto was related to this warrior woman?”
Joseph frowns, but doesn't answer the question directly. “Tomoe was a concubine. Not his wife.”
“A concubine?” I purse my lips. “You mean like a prostitute?”
“No. More like a mistress. An official one, not hidden. She had the protection of the family. Like a second wife. Totally the norm in those days.” Joseph flashes us a reassuring smile, like we'd be cool with the concept just because it happened in the twelfth century. What would it be like to share Tom with another woman? I shudder. How did this warrior woman feel about it? Did she love the man? She could have just killed the wife. Or were they friends?
I try to write down all the things he's telling me. I'm not used to Japanese names, though, so I'm not sure how to spell any of the words. “Minamoto noâwhat?”
“Yoshinaka. That would actually be his given name, not his family name. In Japanese, you write your last name first. You'd be Perrotti no Rachel.” He takes the pen, writes it down.
Yoshinaka Minamoto
. “When I translate it for you, I'll write it the way you're used to.”
“Whichever is easiest.”
“I'll make it easier for you, not me.” He continues in an intense tone. “Tomoe Gozen was not only said to be an astounding beauty, she was Yoshinaka's most trusted captain. One of the greatest warriors of her time. She was skilled with the
naginata
, the traditional weapon used by women. Basically a curved dagger on a long pole. Warrior monks used it, too.” He writes down
naginata
. “But Tomoe was also an expert with the short sword, traditionally a male weapon, and the bow and arrow. Most Westerners haven't heard of Tomoe, but in Japan there are statues and anime and comics and plays and all kinds of art devoted to her.”
He turns the page to one of the drawings and rotates the book so I can see. In this one, the warrior woman sits alone amid ruins. Crumbled walls and smoking fires surround her.
“Some people say Tomoe Gozen is only a legend. But I don't think so.” Joseph takes out his e-reader and powers it on. “In fact, I have the
Heike Monogatari
right here. That's the history of the Genpei War, with mostly verifiable accounts and events gathered from various people at the time. There's one short passage about Tomoe.”
He points. It reads:
General Yoshinaka's wife, Yamabuki, was sick and had to stay home while Yoshinaka went to the capital. His concubine, Tomoe, came with him instead. A woman of great beauty, she was also Yoshinaka's captainâequally skilled in sword as she was in bow and arrow. The best in all Japan, male or female. She single-handedly vanquished hundreds of troops.