Slade (15 page)

      “Fuck!”

      I toss the condom packet at the building and rub my hands over my face. I am beyond frustrated with myself at the moment. This is not fucking good. Sex has always been my way to cope. If I don’t have that what kind of pussy am I? What the fuck am I supposed to do now?

      She looks over her shoulder to see my face before she quickly stands up and pulls her dress down. She looks disappointed as fuck. “What the fuck is wrong? Are we doing this or not?”

      I shake my head while pulling my jeans back up and exhaling. “Not.” I buckle my jeans and then turn to walk away while redoing my belt buckle. I need to get my ass busy with something. Fucking shots or something. Anything to numb this shit.

      I storm my way back into the bar and over to Sarah. “Give me a fucking shot; the strongest you got . . . and quick.” I sit my ass on a stool and watch as she reaches for a glass. She flashes a knowing smile while setting it down in front of me and eyeing me up and down. “What, Sarah?”

      She shakes her head and pours me a shot of Whiskey. “Looks like you’re not the only one here to drink your mind away.” She nods behind me and leans over the bar. “Look behind you by Hemy.”

      I grab my shot and spin around in my stool while slamming it back. The sight in front of me makes my fucking heart race.

     
What the hell?

      “How long has she been here?” I push the shot glass in front of Sarah and stand up. “Another one. Fast.”

      Sarah sighs and pours me another one. “She got here right after you went outside. She’s already had three shots of Vodka and a Vodka and cranberry.” She watches as I slam back the second shot before speaking again. “She looks like she’s having some fun with Hemy. My guess is . . .” She smirks at me and grabs my empty glass out of my hand. “That you already fucked her. Women always seem to go looking for the next guy to make her feel
wanted.
”

      “Yeah, well we both know she isn’t getting it with that mother fucker. He’s worse than I am. Shit.”

      I can already see Hemy working his bad boy charm on Aspen and even from across the room, it looks as if it might be fucking working. The truth is, if Hemy wants to fuck someone he will fuck them one way or another. It’s how it works with him.

      He’s over there with his jeans unbuttoned, slowly pouring water down the front of his chest while looking her directly in the eyes and fucking the damn air. From my angle I can see her hands reach out to touch his stomach. I’m not sure I’m liking this shit.

      Making my way across the room, I step up behind Aspen and grab her arm to turn her around. It takes her a few seconds before she even registers that she’s looking at me. The drinks are clearly setting in and I’m wondering just what the hell her reasoning is for being all over Hemy. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

      Aspen laughs, clearly unfazed by my tone and yanks her arm out of my reach. “I’m getting a strip tease from Hemy. What does it look like?” She reaches for Hemy’s jeans and pulls him closer to her. “Don’t stop dancing on account of that asshole,” she says with a scowl.

      Hemy raises an eyebrow to me and smirks as he notices my eyes trail down toward her hands that are working their way down to his hard dick. She’s clearly trying to push my buttons.

      “Don’t come over here and try to ruin my fun just because you’re having a bad day. Clearly you have some shit to deal with.” She runs her hand over Hemy’s cock while looking at me. Hemy seems to fucking like this. “Maybe Hemy isn’t as big of a dick as you.” She laughs and looks me in the eyes. “Well, he definitely has as big of a dick as you. Maybe he knows how to use it just as good.”

      Okay. Now I am getting extremely fucking pissed. I don’t like seeing her rub his fucking cock one bit. It makes me want to kick the shit out of Hemy. Well, that’s a fucking new feeling. “Too bad you won’t be finding out. You’re fucking going home. Now.”

      She yanks her arm away from me as I reach for it. “The hell I am. I’m having fun with Hemy. He’s so damn
sexy
.” She steps closer to Hemy and caresses his chest and abs. “And I bet those piercings feel . . . good. I’ve heard some hot, hot stories about him. Maybe I want to try him out. Have a little fun of my own for once.”

      Hemy goes to reach for her waist, but I place my hand to his chest and push him back. “Back the fuck up, man.” My jaw steels as I look him in the eyes to let him know just how fucking serious I am. “Not a good time to fuck with me.”

      Hemy gives me a hard look before backing away and finding the closest chick to start grinding on. We may push each other’s buttons, but we’ve figured out in the past just how far to push each other. We’re not going that fucking route again.

      “Are you serious?” Aspen reaches for her purse and starts heading for the door. “I really cannot stand you. First you fuck me and then you throw me out like trash and now you ruin my fun. What the hell goes on in your twisted mind?” She moves faster as I fall into step behind her. “Huh? Huh? What?”

      “None of your business. All you need to know is that you’re acting like a fucking fool. If you think Hemy will treat you any better than me, then you’re fucking mistaking. He will take you home and call over a buddy while they both fuck you until you’re sore. Then they will wake up and fuck you again. You will still end up alone in the end results. Hemy is not going to make things any better.”

      She yanks the door open and rushes outside before turning around to yell at me. “So, what the hell does it matter? It seems that no one wants me. I’m not enough for anyone. Might as well just fuck them all then. I’m so tired of it. So tired of everyone treating me like I’m worth nothing but sex. What is so wrong with me?”

      I watch as she turns around and stomps over to her friend’s car. She struggles with unlocking the door while trying to balance on her heels. “Don’t you fucking get in that car.” I stride over and yank the keys from her hand. “You’re not driving.”

      She reaches for the keys, but I hold them up high so she can’t reach them. She slaps my chest and pushes me. “Give. Me. The. Keys.”

      I shove them in my front pocket and push up against her until her body is pinned against the car. “No. You’re not driving. You’re fucking drunk.” I pin her hands above her head as she struggles against me. “And you are fucking enough. We’re all just fucking assholes. You need to know that.”

      She stops struggling against me and looks me in the eyes. I see a hint of her there but I can tell that she’s pretty close to wasted. After a few seconds, she pulls one of her arms free and reaches into my pocket digging for the keys. I feel her hand brush over my cock and it instantly gets hard. “Give it to me, dammit.”

      I yank her hand out of my pocket and pin it back against the car while roughly pushing my body against hers. “I said you’re not fucking driving. I’ll call us a cab. Try reaching for those keys again and I will fucking tie your ass up with my belt.”

      “Why the fuck do you care? Now you want to be the good guy?” She laughs and pushes me away with her knee. I back off and give her the space she needs. She looks hurt now. I can’t deal with that. “Get off me. I’ll be over here.” She starts walking away. “In the bushes waiting.”

      I don’t understand why, but I just want to get this woman home and in bed; in my fucking bed.

                                *       *       *

By the time we get back to the house, the full effects of the shots must have kicked in. She’s slurring her words and
laughing at absolutely nothing at all. It almost makes me want to laugh, but I’m too fucking annoyed to enjoy this.

      She laughs even harder as I pick her up and throw her over my shoulder. “My ass is showing.” She starts tugging on her dress and squirming in my arms. “My thong! My thong!”

      I slap her ass to stop her from moving. “No one cares. We’re the only ones here and I have already seen your ass.”

      “Yeah. And a
whole
lot more.” She begins pulling up the hem of my shirt, revealing my back. She inserts the tips of her fingers under the waistband of my jeans, lightly caressing my ass. It kind of tickles until she digs her nails into my skin and scratches upward. “I want to see more of you. Strip.” She continues to scratch up my back, hard, causing me tip her back up.

      I grab her ass cheeks in my hands and she instantly wraps her legs around my waist. She bites the skin on my neck playfully as she reaches for my belt. I start walking up the stairs toward my bedroom. “Take it off, dirty stripper boy,” she says teasingly. “I love your body. It’s so
sexy.
I just want to lick it and taste.”

      
As turned on as I am by her biting me and trying to strip me, I keep my fucking cool and toss her on my bed before walking out of my room and slamming the door behind me. I can’t let this shit happen for two reasons: number one, she’s drunk. Number two, it’s against my fucking rules.

     
Shit. I need a cold shower.

      I take my time in the shower before quietly making my way up the stairs and to my room. When I walk in, I notice right away that she is sleeping. She’s managed to strip out of her dress and heels and is now wearing one my favorite shirts. I have to admit, I like seeing her in it. She looks beautiful; like a fucking angel.

      I reach for a cigarette and light it while pacing around my room and watching her sleep. She looks so fucking peaceful lying there. A part of me wants to crawl into bed next to her and hold her in my fucking arms, but the smarter part of me is reminding me of what a horrible idea that is. So instead, I dig out my favorite picture of Helena, grab the chair and pull it next to the window and sit.

      I stare at the picture until my eyes blur. I haven’t looked at this in almost a year. It hurts. It hurts so fucking badly that I can’t breathe . . . but there is something making it a little easier. Someone that makes me want it to be easier. That thought scares me.

      I must sit there for about an hour, in the dark with my hands wrapped in my hair before I hear her mumbling and moving around. When I look up, I see that her eyes are opened and she’s staring right at me.

      “Talk to me, dammit,” she says.

      I feel an ache in my chest at the thought of talking about it. I’ve been holding in my emotions for so long; for too long. Maybe it’s time to get it out. She’ll be gone in a couple days anyways. Maybe this will help ease some shit in my head.

     
Here goes fucking nothing . . .

      I jump to my feet, toss the picture on the bed and try to hold back the tears. “Her name
was
Helena Valentine. She was my fiancé and was carrying my child.”

Chapter Fourteen

Aspen

Oh. My. God.

      I feel an ache in the pit of my stomach and a part of me feels like puking.
Was. He said was.
I blink a few times to focus my vision before reaching for the picture next to my feet and rubbing my thumb over it. It’s moist and the color is smeared. It wasn’t like that last time I saw it.

      “I really don’t want to talk about this, but it is starting to take every fucking thing in me to keep my shit together. I do everything I can to keep my mind busy. It’s getting pretty fucking exhausting. I don’t think I can take it anymore.”

      I look up at Slade and suck in a deep breath while taking in the pained look in his eyes. They’re wet and I can tell it is taking everything in him to not cry. I can’t even speak. I don’t want to. I’m afraid to hear more. I’m scared to hear what he went through.

      It’s silent as he starts pacing. The silence is getting me so nervous that my stomach hurts. Not that the liquor
helps any . . . but I feel totally sober now; wide awake and alert.

      “I loved her with everything in me,” he finally says. “I would have never left her or my child. Don’t ever think that. It sends a flood of rage through my body. I may be a piece of shit now, but I wasn’t always this way.” He looks up toward the ceiling and rubs his hands over his face, clearly frustrated with himself. “We dated all throughout high school and I had known her since I was ten. She was my best fucking friend and I never had the courage to tell her how I felt. I went years holding it in, afraid that she would reject me and it would ruin our friendship.”

      He stops pacing, pulls out a cigarette and lights it before continuing. “She meant more to me than that. I couldn’t lose her. I wouldn’t allow it. Our freshman year I watched her date numerous assholes that always broke her heart. She always came to me for comfort and I was always there to take care of her. I promised her I always would be and I keep my fucking promises. One night after some asshole put his hands on her, I kicked the shit out of him and told her I couldn’t take seeing her hurt anymore.”