Slave to the Sheikh: (9 page)

“The only person who has a baby anywhere is you asshole.” Malik glanced over at Khalil then.  “Tell him so we can get the fuck out of this shithole.  I’m not talking to him again until he’s sober—”

“What did you say?” Amir glared at Malik who had turned to leave, but when his brother faced him again, it was clear he wasn’t getting anything out of that stone wall who looked as if he was on the verge of knocking Amir out.

“What is he talking about?” he questioned, Khalil.

Khalil didn’t immediately reply, and the look in his cousin’s eyes Amir easily interpreted. 
Guilt.

“Tell him,” urged Nasir.

But Khalil didn’t have to tell Amir anything, not now.  Between his guilty expression, Malik’s outburst, and that letter she’d sent, filled with such loathing, which he now recognized was her desperate attempt to keep him away—he had just figured it all out. 

“How could you.” He lunged for Khalil, but Nasir and then Malik forced him back.

“Those were her wishes—”

“You are my blood.” He shouted.  “I deserved to know.”

Khalil’s eyes swirled with fury. 
Angry even in defeat.
  That was typical of Khalil.  But he knew that wasn’t how his cousin saw it.  His cousin was deliberate, meticulous.  He didn’t make rash, impulsive decisions.  In his eyes, he could tell Khalil truly believed he’d been doing the right thing, that it was his duty to protect her, where Amir had failed. But she was never Khalil’s to protect.  She was
his
woman.  And his cousin should have trusted him to do right by her. Amir had already been on a quick descent downward, but that realization took him to rock bottom. His anger dissipated and he was just left there feeling empty.

“We were raised as brothers, and yet you think so low of me.” He drank in the disrepute of his suite, before returning his vacant gaze to his cousin.  “You probably walked in here and looked around and thought, this filthy, seedy place is right where a monster like me belongs—“

“Amir—,”

He blocked out the tortured look on his cousin’s face.  “You wound me, cousin, more than I ever thought possible—”

“I thought you didn’t love her, that you were using her.  Had you seen the anguish in her eyes—”

“Anguish you put there—”

“No, it was anguish
you
put there.”

He didn’t realize Malik and Nasir still restrained him until he tried to charge forward, but found he couldn’t move an inch. He growled at the two men.

“Let him go, let him beat me til his self-righteous anger is assuaged.” Khalil’s dark glare slammed into him.  “Three words you could have said, and none of this would have mattered.” Khalil stalked closer, and Amir saw deep within his cousin’s eyes some twisted, death wish because he himself had been there, was
still
there, so he recognized that same tortured look of despair in another.  What the hell had Sabeen done to him?  “Had you stopped for once to get over your arrogance and that bull-shit pride of yours, you never would have lost her.  Had you just told her you loved her, she would have been secure in her own love for you.  She would have trusted you.  She would have stayed with you.”

Everything Khalil said was true.  Amir had been too prideful and too arrogant to admit he loved Daniella, because she had always seemed so impervious to him that he’d feared looking the fool if he bared his heart to her and she rejected him.  Yes, everything Khalil had said rang true for Amir, but the despair that reverberated through Khalil’s every word was filled with such sorrow, that he knew Khalil was speaking more to himself than to Amir.

The anger that had threatened to explode just moments before quickly dimmed, and he regarded his cousin with new eyes, but what he discovered was so implausible to him that he didn’t stop to think before he blurted out, “You’re actually in love with that crazy bitch?”

Khalil snarled as he sprung forward ready to attack, and this time Nasir and Malik found themselves restraining someone else besides
Amir.

“You will never speak of my wife with such disrespect ever again, or I will make you wish we’d left your sorry ass to rot here.”

He didn’t know what to say.  He was the hothead, not his cousin.  No, Khalil had always been the voice or reason, the level-headed one.  Yes, Khalil had a temper, but it rarely showed itself.  He was the charmer, the placater, a true diplomat at heart.  Amir probably would have laughed at the scene unfolding before him, that was if he believed his cousin still possessed a sense of humor, because the only thing his cousin looked to be possessed by right now, was the devil. 

“I’m sorry,” he offered.  “I shall never disrespect your wife ever again.”

Several moments passed before he seemed to accept his apology.  Realizing he was sincere, Khalil eventually nodded, and his expression eased. 

Malik and Nasir released Khalil, although they both still remained wary, their gazes volleying back and forth between the two cousins. 

              “This is why I’m never settling down. Look at the both of you, making fools out of yourselves over two women.” Malik shook his head.  “You do know there
are
more out there?”

              Nasir smirked.  “Man, I can’t wait until you end up looking like these idiots, going crazy over a woman. You’ll probably curl up into a ball and cry like a baby.”

              “Bullshit.” Malik flashed a cocky grin.  “Why settle for one, when I can have them all?”

              Amir hadn’t felt like laughing in a long time, but watching Malik dig himself into a hole brought a slight smile to his lips.  He would be the worst among them all, and he would fall the hardest because he would never see it coming.  Amir shook his head as he watched Malik and Nasir argue back and forth, eventually taking bets on who would hold out the longest, even as Malik swore he would remain a bachelor for life.

              A vision of Daniella flashed before him, cutting him to the quick.  He hadn’t allowed himself to even think her name, much less say, but if what Malik had said was true.  His gaze shot to Khalil, and like so many times before, his cousin deciphered his thoughts just from a single look.  Khalil nodded, an unspoken affirmation.  It
was
true.  Daniella was carrying his child.

              He needed to see her at once.  He sobered because he’d called off his search for her, which at the time had turned up nothing. Amir now realized Khalil had long known her whereabouts.  He could feel the anger rising again, but this time he tamped it down.  It was over, done, his misplaced anger, fruitless.  Khalil had been  right.  He had only himself to blame.

              Now engaged in a heated debate, Malik and Nasir, barely noticed their older brothers now spoke in hushed tones, and stood off to the side, a distance a ways from them.

                “I know where she is,” Khalil said to him.

              “You’ve always known.” It wasn’t an accusation but Khalil’s expression became guarded in response.  He released an inward sigh.  Later. They would need to work on rebuilding their bond of trust, but that would have to come later.  “I don’t care about that anymore.  I accept why you did what you did, all I want to know is why now?  Why are you telling me all of this now?” His eyes narrowed.  “What has changed?”

              Khalil’s expression was grave. 

“Everything.”

CHAPTER TEN

             
I glanced nervously at the clock.  It was almost ten.  They would be here within the next half hour.  I’d never been so nervous or so terrified in my entire life.  I wanted to throw up, and it had nothing to do with my condition, because morning sickness had long since passed.

              I plopped down onto my couch.  I may have sat there for a full minute before I shot back up.  I couldn’t stop fidgeting as I paced back and forth.  I was a complete wreck.  I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep in weeks, not since I’d finally made up my mind. Abruptly I stopped.  All this worrying wasn’t good for the baby.  As if to reassure myself, I placed my hand over my distended belly, smiling when I felt a tiny flutter.  My heart soared and then it came crashing down, leaving me hopeless once again.

              How was I going to be able to do this?  How could I even think I could go through with this?  But what else was I supposed to do.  I
had
to return to Sharjah eventually.  That was the nature of my work.  I probably wouldn’t have to see
him
, because I was sure my letter had done the trick.  No man would ever wish to see any woman again who claimed she despised him.  The vile things I said to him made my stomach turn. I’d basically accused him of forcing himself on me and that I’d loathed every moment of his touch until I could no longer stand it any longer and had left. 

              Four months later I still couldn’t believe the things I’d written, but I knew it was the only way. Amir was not a man who just gave up.  He would find me.  He would scour the ends of the earth until he did.  But I
needed
him to give up, and stop looking for me, long enough for me to make the hardest, most painful decision I’d ever faced in my entire life. So I had packed my things, taken a leave of absence from work, and took the offer of a friend to use her hideaway cabin in the Shenandoah Valley.  The location of the cabin was so remote, only someone looking for it because they knew it was here, would ever find it.  Even with a map, I’d driven past it three times before I was able to make out the tiny dirt road that led straight to the cabin’s door.  And with the much needed time alone, away from the opinions and distractions of my family and friends, I’d finally known what I had to do.

              There was no way that I could return to Sharjah with his child and not think for one second he would just let his heir go.  There was no doubt in my mind that he would send me packing, and without hesitation, but not his heir.  A sob rose up inside of me and I wrapped my arms around my belly, as if that was protection enough against what I faced.

              A man who could rip a child from his mother for no other reason than because he could, possessed a cruelty of heart; and given that Amir had used me like a piece on a chessboard, I had no doubt he would treat his child as the same.

              I didn’t want to believe it, that the man I’d given myself over to completely, and without reservation was capable of such heartlessness, but then I reminded myself that I’d never truly known Amir.  He’d kept secrets from me, and he’d deceived me.  I would be naïve to believe that he would always have the best interests of our child foremost in his mind.  From his actions alone, I knew he didn’t, and that revelation was what had ultimately allowed me to accept the fact, I couldn’t keep our son.

              The searing pain which always accompanied that thought had not quite lessened as I’d hoped it would. If anything it grew sharper, as if my conscience could somehow force me to change my mind.  And I had, a million times; I went back and forth, until I’d finally accepted the truth, that there
was
no other way. 

              I wouldn’t allow my child to be raised by a cold, unfeeling man, who would never give him the love or security he needed to truly thrive.  Even if I couldn’t give him all of my love and that of my family, I was determined that my  son would know the warm, supportive love of parents who treated him as a person and not some pawn.  He would be raised in a family, much like my own, where he would grow and thrive, far away from Sharjah, his father, and the harsh restrictions that Amir would drill into him.  As Amir’s heir, our son would be groomed to succeed him, to lead, but he would never be loved.  I already knew the bleak future that awaited him, which was what finally convinced me I was making the right decision.

              The faint sound of leaves and stone crumbling beneath the weight of slowly moving tires signaled the arrival of the loving couple I’d selected to adopt my baby.  I’d used a discrete, private agency that had come highly recommended and which I’d thoroughly vetted.  This was my first time meeting the couple I’d chosen, and once I did, I knew there would be no turning back—for me the decision would be final. I’d read too many horror stories of the birth mother changing her mind at the final moment, and I refused to cause anyone that kind of heartbreak.   

              With each passing moment that I waited in the living room, my heart pounded harder and harder.  The car door slammed, followed by the crunch of gravel beneath brisk footsteps. 

All too quickly the doorbell rang.

              Had I not been so anxious, I would have looked out the window or even the peephole, especially when it dawned on me only one door slammed, not two.  And the footsteps were not those of a hesitant, equally nervous young couple, but instead were purposeful and determined.

              I started at the sound of the doorbell ringing again.  I didn’t think I’d kept them waiting for more than a few seconds, but I figured they were both anxious and excited knowing they would soon become parents.

             
This was it.

              I plastered a smile on my face, even though it made my jaw hurt, and I turned the doorknob despite that my hand trembled uncontrollably. Drawing in air so deep it hurt my lungs, I swung open the front door, but the greeting of ‘welcome’ that had been on the tip of my tongue instantly died on my lips.

              “Amir?”

              My automatic reaction was to slam the door shut, but he easily pushed his way inside, closing the door behind him with a hard thud.

              Dark, tinted aviator shades obscured his eyes, but those shades might as well have been invisible. I didn’t need to look into his eyes to discern his present emotions.  With fury pouring off of him in waves, and a dark scowl twisting his features as he held himself painfully rigid. I had no trouble coming to the conclusion that he was livid. 

              “W—what are you doing here?”

              He brushed past me without a word.  As he did, he removed his shades, but I still could not see his face because he now stood with his back to me, staring out the small window of the adjoining kitchen.

              “You can’t stay, I’m expecting company.”

              “About that,” he turned, and for the first time in four months, I lost myself within the intensity of his coal black stare, but this time was very different from all those times before, when passion and desire darkened his gaze.  This time his eyes were hard, angry, and full of pain.  “They won’t be coming.”

              “What?”  I frowned. “Why not? I—“ His statement had propelled me toward him, but his glare was so hard, I literally felt as if I’d slammed into a brick wall.  I froze as understanding dawned upon me.

              “You paid them off.”

              “They seemed very nice.  Once I explained to them that all of this had been a big misunderstanding, they seemed to accept that, but they were naturally very disappointed, so yes, I compensated them for their trouble.”

              “You had no right to interfere.  I spent months vetting couples. I—“

              With the quickness of a jungle cat, he closed the distance between us in less than a second.  Seizing me by the arms, he practically snarled in my face.

              “I had no right?” He was incensed. “I had
every
right.  It was you, Daniella, you who had no right,” he shouted. “The entire trip here, I thought of what I would say to you but could never seem to get past cursing your name, and then I thought of how you must truly hate me to do what you planned to do….” He appeared as if he wanted to say more, but just didn’t seem to know how.  It was only then that he must have realized he still gripped my arms because he released me as if my skin was covered in acid, but I wasn’t prepared for the sudden movement and stumbled back.  My heel caught onto something, sending me flailing wildly, and when I was certain I was going to crash backwards I let out a small cry.

Before I could hit the floor, he was there, his arm wrapping around my waist like a steel cable and jerking me forward into the safety and warmth of his embrace.

              I clung to him, my heart pounding, as he held me locked within his strong arms.  Our baby chose that moment to announce his presence, and I gasped when he kicked.  With me pressed against him, Amir felt it too, and he jerked back just enough so he could stare down at my belly, without letting me go.

              What I could only describe as awe filled his eyes.  “Was that
him
?”

              I pursed my lips in irritation that somehow he’d managed to discover the sex of our baby, although out in this backwoods town, I wasn’t surprised.  When a man such as Amir made demands, nice folks out here weren’t equipped to deny him, but still, my ob-gyn out here was
so
fired.

              I nodded when I realized he still stared at me expectantly.  “Yes,” I answered.  “I don’t think he appreciated all the commotion I was making,” I said ruefully.

              Amir was instantly contrite.  “I’m sorry. Are you alright?”

              I flashed him a hesitant smile.  “I’m fine. Thank you,” I said politely, hoping now that some of his anger had seemed to wane, I could begin to mollify the situation. 

              He put some space between us, but I noticed he didn’t let me go as he continued to lightly hold me by my arms.

              His expression sobered then.  “Why, Daniella?  I understand why you didn’t tell me, but to give our child away? Was the thought of raising my son, and seeing me reflected in his eyes truly so unbearable to you?” Unconsciously, he dug his fingers deeper into my flesh.   “All you had to do was tell me.  I wouldn’t have forced you to be with me, or be involved in his rearing if you didn’t wish to, but I’m his father, and I want him even if you don’t, but you never even considered me, or how I would feel when I found out.  And what about our son, when he grew older and discovered that had I known I would have moved the heavens to have him with me?  Can you even imagine the scars your deception would have left upon me and my son had I not learned the truth?  Thankfully, Khalil remained abreast of your whereabouts, and thankfully he told me as soon as he learned of your plans or else you would have stolen from us the chance of a father son relationship, and all because you hate
me
?  Ok, you can hate me, Daniella, believe me, I know I deserve it, but to punish our son, for my sins? How? How could you do such a thing?”

              The sob I’d fought to quell from the moment he’d questioned my decision refused to be denied any longer, and once it burst forth, it was if a dam had broken.  I cried and sobbed until my body grew so weak that Amir was forced to sit down on the sofa with me in his lap.  He held me through the storm, gently soothing me until the last of my tears dried on my cheeks.

              “Believe me, it was the
last
thing I ever wanted to do,” I eventually managed to get out.  “But I couldn’t bring him into this world knowing he was just a pawn to you, and that you would eventually use him in much the same way that you used me.”

              Amir scowled darkly.  “I never used you, Daniella.  And I would
never
use our son. I know what Khalil told you and led you to believe, but he was wrong. I now know he came to the conclusion that he did after some of our discussions regarding the matter, which led to him offering to wed, Sabeen.  When I agreed, I think he assumed I would use traditional means to break my engagement, but that was never my plan.” His arms tightened around me, and his gaze was intense as it held mine. “When I told you I would set things right, I meant it.  Long ago, I rejected the old customs, but that didn’t mean I didn’t understand the consequences of doing so. That’s why when I made the decision to break the betrothal contract, I knew I would first need to abdicate my position as regent—“

              I gasped.  I couldn’t believe what he was saying.  “They forced you to give up your throne because you broke your contract?”  Khalil had said as much, but I truly never believed it would come to that, not after all the good he’d done for his home nation and his people. 

              His lips quirked with a wry smile.  “Technically, Sharjah is no longer governed by a monarchy, and no, no one forced me to relinquish my position, but yes, I stepped down as the head of state—”

              I didn’t understand, and I said as much.  “If you weren’t forced out, then why would you step down?”

              His hand cupped my cheek, so that I had no choice but to drown in the onyx depths of his eyes, and that’s when I saw it.  The intensity of his emotions were so powerful, I was forced to draw in a sharp breath.