Read Sleeping with the Dictionary Online
Authors: Harryette Mullen
He can see her from another room. He likes to whisper at her while a record is playing. That's how cool he can be. He'll ask which books she 's been reading. She could give him a list and we could discuss them later. We could gossip about books, which was one of his favorite activities. He didn't want to forbid her singing in the bathtub, but she would notice that he flinched a little, so she tried not to do it when he was around. She had not inherited the gene for music, just as his blood had distinguished itself from the red stuff of his ancestors. At all times he tried to indulge her, having heard the story of her austere childhood. She in turn would try to soothe and distract him from the score of abandonments that caused him such pain when remembered. They both had violent histories but longed to live in peace and so it was a pact sealed in blood, a sweetheart contract in which there were provisions for each to get the
upper hand. Even though she bled every month, she always had someone to blame; while he noted that each time he touched her, her body was there, which had not always been the case with her predecessors.
She listened to his lists and made her own in secret. A grocery list was necessary because he avoided buying food, preferring to spend cash on inessentials because they bought more satisfaction. “But you,” he told her, “are impossible to satisfy because you never seem to want, except to sleep and eat.” She lives in his house like a sleepy cat though once he joked he might pay to keep her here, because even a woman with no wants must have money to supply her needs.
He never seems to sleep or eat but lives on a mysterious energy source, adapted for life on her planet. That's why she can't laugh at his jokes, because humor is local. He was born far away but feels at home. Or he was born close to home but feels far from there now. Nothing touches him now except her hands, her mouth. He touches her hair. Her wet hair. He makes her a gift of his solitude. Solitude is something she misses. He takes hers with him when he leaves. She goes out for short walks, looking at sidewalks. He takes her to mountains and deserts. He seeks out old trees. They walk until she 's out of breath. “Chill,” he says, and she feels cold, suddenly noticing the air.
Quantum mechanics fixed my karma wagon
Gypsies want to hold my hand
Dr. Duck recommends
soap and ream therapies
With remedies like these
who needs friends?
ab flab abracadabra Achy Breaky Action Jackson airy-fairy airfare
Asian contagion analysis paralysis Anna banana ants in your pants
Annie's Cranny Annie Fanny A-Okay ape drape argle-bargle artsy-fartsy awesome blossom
backpack backtrack Bahama Mama balls to the wall bam-a-lam bandstand
Battle in Seattle beat the meat bedspread bee's knees behani ghani best dressed
best in the West BestRest Best Western Betsy Wetsy Better Cheddar Big Dig bigwig
bird turd black don't crack blackjack blame game boho boiling oil
Bone Phone Bonton Bony Maroni boob tube boogie-woogie boohoo book nook
boon coon Bot's dots Boozy Suzy bowl of soul bow-wow boy toy brace face
brain drain bric-a-brac bug jug bump on the rump Busty Rusty
cachi-bachi caffe latte cake bake candy's dandy Care Bear cash for trash Cat in the Hat
chalk talk Chatty Cathy cheers & jeers cheaper to keep her cheat sheet Chester the molester
chewy gooey chick flick Chilly Willy chips & dips chitchat chock-a-block
Choco Taco chop shop chrome dome Chubby Hubby Chuck & Buck chugalug Chunky Monkey
cigar bar Cinni Mini claptrap Click & Clack clink-clank clipclop Coca-Cola cock block
cock doc cock sock cookbook Cool Yule Cracker Jack crack shack crack's wack creature feature
crick-crack crinkly wrinkly crisscross crop top crumb bum Crunch 'n Munch
culture vulture curly-whirly
date rape deadhead deep sleep dikes on bikes dilly-dally ding-a-ling ding-dang dingle-dangle
ding-dong dirty birdy Dizzy Lizzy dog log Don Juan Donut Hut double trouble downtown dramarama drape shape dream team Dress for Success drill & kill
drip-drop drunk skunk dry eye
eager beaver Earl the Pearl easy greasy Eat a Pita eenie-meenie Etch-a-Sketch
Evel Knievel Even Stephen Eye in the Sky
fag hag fair share Fakin' Bacon fancy pants Fast Gas fat cat Fax Pax Fay Wray
fender bender fews & twos fiddle-faddle fight or flight Fiji file or pile fill the bill fine line
finer diner fine wine Flavor Saver Fleet Street flim-flam flip-flop Flirty Gerty Flo Jo
flower power flub-dub fly-by fly-by-night fly guy fogdog four-door four-on-the-floor
Foxy Roxy frat rat Freaks & Geeks freaky-deaky free bee frick & frack
fried, dyed, laid to the side fright night Froot Loops FuBu fuck a duck fuddyduddy
fungus among us fun in the sun funny money fur burger fuzzy wuzzy
gal pal gang bang gas grass or ass gator bait gay for pay Geechee gender bender
Georgie Porgie gewgaw gherkin jerkin gibber-jabber glad pad gloom & doom goof proof
googly-moogly Gorgeous George gory story Greeks & geeks Greek Week green bean
Green Jeans grinning & skinning
Hackensack hackmatack hackysack hair care hairy fairy Handy Andy
handy dandy hanky-panky hari-kari Happy to Be Nappy harum-scarum
haunch & paunch haste makes waste heart smart Heckle & Jeckle heebie-jeebies
Hegel's Bagels hell's bells helter-skelter Henny Penny herky-jerky heyday hickory-dickory
hi-fi higgledy-piggledy high & dry hinky dinky hip hop hippy dippy hobnob hobo
Hobson-Jobson hockey jockey hocus-pocus hodgepodge hoi polloi hoity-toity
HoJo Hokey Pokey holy mole holy moley Home Alone honey bunny Hong Kong honky-tonk
hoodoo hooked on books hook or crook hootchie-kootchie hotch-potch Hotel No Tell hot pot
hot shot Hottentot How now brown cow hubbub Hubba Bubba hubble-bubble Huckabuck
huff & puff hugger mugger Huey, Dewey, Louie Hully Gully humdrum hump & dump
Humpty-Dumpty hurdy-gurdy hurly-burly Hurry Curry hurry-scurry hustle & bustle
Icky Ricky I Like Ike ill pill ill will Increase the Peace inky-dinky
ism jism I Spy itsy-bitsy itty-bitty
jai alai Janet's Planet jeepers creepers Jeez Louise jelly belly jet set Jew canoe jig rig jimjams
jinglejangle Joe Blow Joe Schmoe Juicy Lucy June gloom June moon junkie 's monkey
junk in the trunk junky punky
killer-diller King Kong Kit Kat kiwi knickknack knob job Koo Koo Roo
kowtow Krik? Krak! kudu Kundun
Laffy Taffy lame brain large & in charge late great later gator Lazy Daisy
Lean Cuisine lean & mean lean mean machine legal eagle Leggo my Eggo
Lexis Nexus lick dick Lickin' Chicken licking stick Liddle Kiddle liquor's quicker
lit crit liver quiver lizard's gizzard local yokel long dong Loony Toons Loopy Doopy
loose screws loosey-goosey lovie-dovie low blow lucky duck lump sum lunch bunch
lust in the dust Lynyrd Skynyrd
Mac Attack mad dad made in the shade Magilla Gorilla mainframe maitai Mango Tango
Manila Thriller Mantan Mars bars master blaster Maui Wowie May Day Meal Deal
Meals on Wheels mean green meet & greet mellow yellow Messy Bessy
Micmac might makes right Mighty Aphrodite miles of smiles Milli Vanilli
Mingus Among Us mishmash Missy-Pissy mock croc Mod Squad mojo moldy oldie
Money Honey moose on the loose mop top Mork from Ork motor voter muckamuck
muck chuck mukluk multi-culti mumbo jumbo mu shu mushy-gushy my guy
namby-pamby name game nature nurture near beer nice price night light
nig-nog niminy piminy nitty-gritty nitwit no finance, no romance
no glove, no love no go no muss, no fuss no pain, no gain no show no way, Jose
nudie cutie Nut Hut Nutter Butter Nutty Buddy
Ocean Potion odd jobs Oingo Boingo okey-dokey old gold ooga-booga
Only the Lonely oodles of noodles Oshkosh B'gosh
Paco's Tacos page gauge pale ale paranoid android Parappa the Rapper party hearty Patel hotel
paunch & haunch payday pay & play pee & see peewee peg leg pell-mell peter beater
Phantom Anthems phone home phony baloney Pick Up Sticks picnic pie in the sky, by & by
Piggly Wiggly ping-pong pit-a-pat pitter-patter Plain Jane plaster caster plastic fantastic
play as it lays pocket rocket poet don't know it pogo pooper scooper pot shot pope-soap-on-a-rope
Pop Shop poptop Post Toasties powwow poxy doxy prime time pump & dump psychedelic relic Puff 'n Stuff
Queen of Mean quest for the best Quick Pick quick trick quiet riot quirky quarky
racket-jacket ragbag Ragin' Cajun ragtag ramble-scramble Randy Andy rape & scrape
rat-a-tat razzle-dazzle razzmatazz real deal redhead Reese's Pieces reet pleat
retail detail Rhymin' Simon rich bitch rickety-tickety rickrack riffraff
ring-a-ding ringer dinger rinky-dink Rin Tin Tin riprap roach coach
Rock Around the Clock rocket pocket Rolled Gold roly-poly Ronald McDonald
rooty-tooty rope-a-dope rough & tough rough stuff rub-a-dub Rufty Tufty rusty dusty
saggy baggy Sally's Alley sandman sassafras scarlet harlot sci-fi scot & lot
Scrapple from the Apple screen scene screwy Louie screw you Sea & Ski
seedy tweedy seesaw self help sexy Rexy shady lady shake it, don't break it
Shake 'n Bake Shedd's Spread shilly-shally shipshape shirk work shit fit
shit, grit, motherwit shock jock Shy Di sin-bin Sin Den singles mingle singsong
skag hag skimble-scamble skinflint skinny mini skunk funk sky high slammer jammer
Slice o' Rice slice & dice Slick Rick Slim Jim slo-mo SmarteCarte snack pack
snail mail snail trail Smothers Brothers smut-butt smut slut sneak peek snowblower
snug as a bug in a rug soap-on-a-rope SoHo space is the place space race Spamarama
Spam in a can SpecTech speed reader spit-spot splish-splash spring fling Spruce Goose
squeegee Stan the Man stars & bars steam clean Stinky Pinky Stix Nix Hix Pix stranger danger
Stormin' Norman street beat stun gun stupid Cupid Style File suck and tuck Suds Your Duds
sugar booger sump pump super duper Superloopers sure cure surf & turf Swatch watch sweater weather sweetmeat Swiss Kriss Swiss Miss
ta-da Tears for Fears tea tree teeny peeny teeny-weeny teepee teeter-totter telltale Temporary Contemporary tent event Texas Exes Tex-Mex thigh high think pink thinktank thin's in, but fat's where it's at
thin skin thrill kill thrills & chills Throat Coat tib-fib Tictac ticky-tacky
ticktock tie dye tin tan tan tiptop titbit tit for tat tittle-tattle ton of fun tough enough tough stuff town & gown Tragic Magic
treat and street Tricky Dicky true blue trust buster turkey jerky tussy-mussy tutti-frutti
Twine Time
ubble-gubble Ubby Dubby Ugh Bug ugly-mugly undone unfun urge to purge use it or lose it
Vanessa the Undresser vice price vomit comet voodoo
Wacko Jacko wacky shack wacky tobacky walkie-talkie Wavy Gravy waylay
wear & tear Weegee Whack Pack whale tale wham bam whammer-jammer
wheeler dealer whimwham white flight white knight Wicked Pickett
weird beard wild child willy-nilly Wilt the Stilt wining & dining
wingding Winken & Blinken wishy-washy womb to tomb wonton
Wooly Bully Writing Is Fighting
X-sex
Yak Pak yank the crank Yertle the Turtle ying-yang yoohoo
zero to hero zigzag zip your lip Zoo Doo zoot suit Zulu
Thus is just a nothing to thaw you from your warpath and genius during our assonance beguiled two-time yellow agony. Those conversions chapped my thistle in manzanita waylay. In particular, they held a deer and latex impaled on my thistle. Not a deadbeat goes by when I donate this of you. That's why your silhouette remains, for me, sadistic and painterly. Won't you writhe or crawl? Let's mambo and be frisky. Your jiffy jockstrap.
This is a story I have heard:
Entwined in a passionate embrace
with his beloved wife,
the holy one exclaimed,
“I have reached enlightenment!”
His devoted partner responded,
“I'm truly happy for you, my love,
and if you can give me another minute,
I believe I'll get there too.”
K was burn at the bend of the ear in the mouth of Remember. She was the fecund chill burn in her famish. She came into the word with a putty smoother, a handsewn farther, and a yodeler cistern. They were all to gather in a rosy horse on a piety sweet in Alligator Panorama.
When her smoother and farther wrought her chrome from the hose spittle, her cistern fought the piddle ably was a girly heeded bawl. A bawl that dank silk, booed, burgled, rabbled, fried, and tweed in wipers. This was not a bawl that swept in the joy blocks with her rather joys. This was a giving bawl that wasn't a joy like a fluffed fan mail. Oh no! This was her grand blue piddle cistern that cold knot talc for a song time, but lonely fried and braid rather voices that the yodeler one cold knot rubberband.
It shook a few ears until they cold talc to gather, tall yolks, shear sacreds, heave a conversion or a dish cushion. That was laughter they kissed their handsewn farther who wind sway to Cheap Cargo, Ill Annoy. Mum and gulls made their mauve to Foreword Text. As swoon as they cold they boasted fetters in the snail to him and he relied as mulch as he cold.
Their inelegant smoother was a reacher who muddied lard, learned debris, and wept them upon the prosper pat. Reaching them fright from strong was her per rental doodly. They threw up and wind soft to mercy rule and hinder guardian, then on to
sedimentary, fecund dairy, and slide rule. They were wood in all those paces, and waded to knowledge at Cutie Ostentatious.
The smoother and her dodders all learned debris to gather. Evidentially, two quirked as proofs in the loony varsity. K was quirking for the slate of Taxes Hysterical Remission. Laughter a schmaltz fart with a wanky lurk, K fond her Sanity. A proof of reckoned comics. K quirked to learn her nastier debris and latter she rave burps and becalmed herself a smoother.