Sleeping with the Dictionary (6 page)

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Authors: Harryette Mullen

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Why You and I

Who knows why you and I fell off the roster?

Who can figure why you and I never passed muster
on our way out yonder?

Does anyone wonder why you and I lacked
the presence of minding our blunders?

Can anyone see why you and I, no longer intact,
pulled a disappearing act and left with scratch? Our secret pact
required that you and I forget why and where
we lost our place when we went off the books.

Could anyone guess, does anyone know or even care
why you and I can't be found, as hard as we look?

Who'll spell out for us, if we exist,
why you and I missed our turn on the list?

who can stand to reason why you and I let
our union dissolve to strike the orderly alphabet?

Wino Rhino

For no specific reason I have become one of the city's unicorns. No rare species, but one in range of danger. No mythical animal, but a common creature of urban legend. No potent stallion woven into poetry and song. Just the tough horny beast you may observe, roaming at large in our habitat. I'm known to adventurers whose drive-by safari is this circumscribed wilderness. Denatured photographers like to shoot me tipping the bottle, capture me snorting dust, mount on the wall my horn of empties that spilled the grape's blood. My flesh crawls with itchy insects. My heart quivers as arrows on street maps target me for urban removal. You can see that my hair's stiffened and my skin's thick, but the bravest camera can't document what my armor hides. How I know you so well. Why I know my own strength. Why, when I charge you with my rags, I won't overturn your sporty jeep.

Wipe That Simile Off Your Aphasia

as horses as for

as purple as we go

as heartbeat as if

as silverware as it were

as onion as I can

as cherries as feared

as combustion as want

as dog collar as expected

as oboes as anyone

as umbrella as catch can

as penmanship as it gets

as narcosis as could be

as hit parade as all that

as icebox as far as I know

as fax machine as one can imagine

as cyclones as hoped

as dictionary as you like

as shadow as promised

as drinking fountain as well

as grassfire as myself

as mirror as is

as never as this

Xenophobic Nightmare in a Foreign Language
waking up with Enrique Chagoya

Whereas, in the opinion of the Government of the United States the coming of bitter labor to this country endangers the good order of certain localities within the territory thereof:

Therefore, be it enacted by the Senate and House of Representatives of the United States of America in Congress assembled,

That from and after the expiration of ninety days next after the passage of this act, and until the expiration of ten years next after the passage of this act, the coming of bitter labor to the United States be, and the same is hereby, suspended; and during such suspension it shall not be lawful for any bitter labor to come, or, having so come after the expiration of said ninety days, to remain within the United States.

That the master of any vessel who shall knowingly bring within the United States on such vessel, and land or permit to be landed, any bitter labor, from any foreign port or place, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and on conviction thereof shall be punished by a fine of not more than five hundred dollars for each and every such bitter labor so brought, and may be also imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.

That any person who shall knowingly bring into or cause to be brought into the United States by land, or who shall knowingly
aid or abet the same, or aid or abet the landing in the United States from any vessel of any bitter labor not lawfully entitled to enter the United States, shall be deemed guilty of a misdemeanor, and shall, on conviction thereof, be fined in a sum not exceeding one thousand dollars, and imprisoned for a term not exceeding one year.

That no bitter labor shall be permitted to enter the United States by land without producing to the proper officer of customs the certificate in this act required of bitter labor seeking to land from a vessel. And any bitter labor found unlawfully within the United States shall be caused to be removed therefrom to the country from whence they came, by direction of the United States, after being brought before some justice, judge, or commissioner of a court of the United States and found to be not lawfully entitled to be or remain in the United States.

May 6, 1882

X-ray Vision

You don't need X-ray vision to see through me.
No super power's required to penetrate my defense.

Without listening to your mother's rant
you can tell that my motives are transparent.

A sturdy intuition could give you
the strong impression that my logic is flimsy.

Before the flat lady sang the first note of the book,
you knew that my story was thin.

Zen Acorn
for Bob Kaufman

a frozen
indian acorn

a frozen
indiana corn

afro zen
indian acorn

afro zen
indiana corn

a zen fro
in diana corn

frozen fan
in zero canadian

indian corn for
arizona nonradiance

a narco dozen
faze an african

Zombie Hat

Greatest thing since Texas toast,
the ever-popular zombie hat
flies off the shelf
like sandwich loaf.
For your tête-à-tête
with a headhunter, or chat with a shrink,
zombie hat's the right think.
You'll look like a hero
in your zombie sombrero.
Don't forget to wear your hat.
It's what the head cheese ordered, stat.
Statistics show the zombie hat
helps to maintain social stasis.
With the right fit,
you'll brim with social graces.
We recommend it for all our head cases.
Meet every problem head on,
so long as you keep a lid on.

 

 

Designer: Nola Burger

Compositor: BookMatters, Berkeley

Text: 11/16 Fournier

Display: Univers Condensed Light

Printer and binder: Rose Printing Company, Inc.

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