Small-Town Moms (13 page)

He'd wanted to kiss Olivia Dancer.

But it wasn't that thought that had him weak in the knees and on the run. He'd seen a life with her in her eyes. And it scared him.

S
he'd wanted to kiss him. Olivia was still shaken by this when she woke the next morning. Wanting to kiss him—and after he'd comforted her about Justin! How could she have spoken her husband's name and, almost in the same breath, been thinking of kissing another man?

The very thought confused her as she'd hurried out of the barn. Lying still in her bed, listening to the quietness of the house, she closed her eyes and immediately saw the sunset from the night before when she'd hurried to the back of the house to think. She'd stopped at the edge of the yard, her head, heart and stomach in turmoil as she watched the sun setting in the sky. It was a beautiful orange and pink mixture, brilliant with golden light. God was outdoing Himself with the sunset…but what was He doing with her heart?

Ugh! She flipped onto her stomach and yanked her pillow over her head.
What are you thinking, Olivia?
The best thing she could do was to remember that she was here for her sister's son. She was not here for…for…
this! Whatever a person called it when they suddenly went off the deep end.

And now you're going to have to face him.

 

“It's about time y'all came in here ta eat together,” Sam said Thursday night when they walked into the diner.

To Gabe's dismay, his mother had insisted they all go out for Sam's all-you-could-eat fish night. Reluctant didn't begin to describe Gabe as he drove them into town. Wes loved fish night, and though Gabe wanted to say no, he'd given in when Wes had begged to go. It was easy to see that Olivia didn't want to come, either, but she agreed.

Like two sparring partners in neutral corners, they squared off before getting into the truck. She was just as leery of him as he was of her. The idea didn't sit well with him.

“We're here now,” he said, shaking Sam's hand with an iron grip to match the older man's.

“You sure are purdy,” Stanley Orr said from his seat at the front of the diner. “Anyone tell you you look like yor sister?”

Gabe wanted to tell Stanley to get back to playing checkers and mind his own business, but he and his buddy App were here eating catfish, not playing checkers. Still, he wished people wouldn't bring up Dawn. Especially in front of Wes.

“Yup, you do look like her some,” Applegate grunted, grinning.

“Thank you,” Olivia said. “Georgetta showed me some photos of Dawn, and I think she was beautiful. I'm nowhere near that.”

“You most certainly are,” Esther Mae piped up indignantly as she came over to welcome them. “You are beautiful.”

Everyone else who gathered around them joined in on the praise. Gabe caught his mother watching him with interest, and he set his expression to neutral. Or so he thought, but the gleam in Georgetta's eyes hinted in a big way that she'd seen something of interest. “Y'all want to find a table?” he asked gruffly.

“I wanna sit in a booth.” Wes grabbed Trudy's hand and led her off in the direction of the booths with his grandmother trailing them. It took a few more seconds of conversation before Gabe and Olivia could follow them. When they reached the booth, it was to find that Sam had brought a child's chair to the end of the booth for Wes. But it was the empty booth seat that had him sweating bullets. To his dismay, Georgetta and Trudy were sitting on one side of the booth, leaving the other one empty for him and Olivia. There was no way he could get out of sitting beside her without making a big deal out of it. He was stuck.

Olivia had been walking in front of him, weaving her way through the visiting crowd. Sam's on Thursday nights was more like a family gathering. Folks wandered about, socializing before settling down to their own tables to enjoy their fried fish. So, being taller, he spotted their predicament before she did. When she broke through the crowd and spotted the seating arrangement, Olivia stopped dead in her tracks, and he bumped into her.

“Sorry,” he said.

She glared at him over her shoulder.

He didn't blame her. He was in exactly the same boat.

Sinking. And sinking fast.

 

“Don't you just love this place?” Georgetta said from across the table as Olivia and Gabe settled into the booth seat.

Olivia tried to seem undisturbed by being forced to sit beside Gabe. She hadn't expected this. Nor all the attention they'd drawn. Okay, so maybe she'd thought a smidge that they would draw attention. After all, Georgetta had said they were being asked about. But there was something else she'd seen in the eyes of Georgetta's friends, Norma Sue, Esther Mae and Adela. Speculation? Joy?

Something…something that said they knew
something
she didn't know? But
what?
Or was it just her imagination? After all, she'd been thinking about kissing Gabe.

And thinking about it a lot since yesterday.

“I do.” Wes scrunched his little face up and looked thoughtful. “I been comin' here since I was knee-high to a grasshopper. I think that's what Mr. App teld me. You heard him, Grandma. Is that what he said?”

“Yes, Wes, that's exactly what he said.” Georgetta ruffled his hair affectionately. “That means you were really small.”

“Was I a baby, Daddy?”

“You were,” Gabe grunted.

Olivia was trying to ignore the way his leg was bouncing in a nervous manner, causing the bench to move. It shocked her that he was nervous. Or agitated. That was probably closer to the truth.

They managed to make it through the meal. Trudy
was a bit sullen, Wes was excited and Georgetta was talkative. Olivia found out that Georgetta wanted to travel some day.

“How about you, Olivia? What are your plans?” Georgetta asked.

“My plans? Well, Trudy and I are keeping busy. Like I said before, we like to stay busy. Getting her through school and college is my goal.”

“Have you ever thought of moving?”

What a funny question. “Not really. Trudy has her friends. The idea did cross my mind not long after Justin died. But that seemed unfair to my parents.” She didn't say that they had had a hard time with her coming here. “I had to work at maintaining my independence after Justin's death. My dad, whom I love with all my heart, would have tried to run our lives.” She smiled at Trudy. “Gramps means well, but he is pretty headstrong and thankfully, I developed some of his personality after being raised by him all those years. If not for that, he'd have been directing my every move—believing, of course, that he was doing what was best for us.”

“So you think you developed traits from your adoptive parents?” Gabe asked, wiping his hands on his napkin and turning slightly to give her his attention. His knee touched hers as he did. She pulled away, despite the surge of attraction buzzing through her. “Not think—I
know
I did. I'm too much like my dad for it to be a coincidence.”

Gabe's brows flattened as he thought about her statement. “What about traits from your biological parents?”

“I really don't know. I was a little older than Wes
when they were killed in a car accident, and I entered the foster care program. I can hardly remember them.”

“I don't 'member my mommy.”

Wes's statement took them all by surprise. He blinked innocently as only a young child can do. Olivia would have hugged him if she'd been able to, but Gabe was between them at the table. “I wish we could both know her.”

Beside her Gabe tensed. Olivia wished she knew more about Dawn. The picture she'd pieced together hadn't grown better over the past week. She decided that when they got home, she might need to put aside this attraction she was letting sidetrack her from her goal and question Gabe. It was time for answers. There surely had to be something good about Dawn that he could share with her and with Wes. Wes needed to know about his mom.

“You want to be my mommy?” Wes's question rang out unexpectedly, startling everyone. Smiling broadly as if a light had just gone on in his little head, he continued, speaking loudly and enthusiastically. “You can be Trudy's mommy
and
my mommy too!”

I
t bothered Olivia over the next few days about Wes wanting a mother. Wanting
her
to be his mother. After he'd made the statement in Sam's, everyone at their table had grown silent for a minute, at a loss for words. It was a good thing Sam brought their food when he did, and they were able to dig in.

It wasn't for her to tell him that one day maybe he would have a new mother. Or to tell him that it wouldn't be her. She did tell him that she was his aunt. His mother's sister, she had to explain again. But he'd said she could be his momma if she wanted to. It was almost like it was a game to him. The sweet boy just smiled the whole time. One day he'd be old enough to understand.

She'd wanted to speak to Gabe in private, but when they got home Trudy asked her to play a board game with her, was insistent about it. In the restaurant Trudy had seemed bothered by Wes's declaration, and so Olivia couldn't pass up the chance to have some one-on-one time with her.

As it turned out, she didn't get to speak to Gabe until
the following day. Especially since he disappeared soon after they arrived home. But on Friday, to her surprise, Georgetta took both kids with her to town to buy groceries. She'd also noticed that Trudy was getting a bit bored, and Georgetta wanted to show her Ranger, the larger town about seventy miles away.

Instead of Olivia being asked to go along as she'd expected, Georgetta suggested that it might be good for Trudy to spend time with Wes without her mother there. Olivia agreed, and so here she was. It was the perfect opportunity to speak to Gabe about Wes. She told herself that she was not looking forward to spending time alone with Gabe—that she just needed to discuss all these issues. Nope, it had absolutely nothing to do with wanting to be around him…

She was lying, and she knew it.

Gabe McKennon caused something inside of her to come alive that she hadn't felt in so very long. When he looked at her, she felt like a woman. Even when he scowled at her. And boy, was he ever doing plenty of that.

It was apparent that he was as disturbed by the attraction as she was…and she could tell he was attracted to her. A woman knew these things. Even a woman as rusty at this sort of thing as her.

But did he still believe she shouldn't be here?

The day was cool, and she was sitting on the porch swing when he drove up the drive and parked his big truck. Duke raced to meet him, and he bent to pet the pup as soon as his boots hit the gravel. Long, lean and dangerous—the description took her by surprise, but that was exactly what he appeared to her. If she'd always
felt protected by Justin, she knew the woman who fell for Gabe would feel the same way.

Then again, if that was so, why had Dawn left? The question that had begun to plague Olivia was why would a woman in her right mind walk away from a man like him?

It was incomprehensible to her. But then, she still didn't know the facts. Could there have been something in the way Gabe treated her that made her leave?

But if so, then why leave her baby?

Oh, goodness.
Her mind shut down, stopped rolling, locked down as he strode up the walk toward her. Her breath stuck in her chest. He wore a thin film of dust over his T-shirt and jeans, and his boots were outfitted with spurs so they jingled as he walked. Her throat was as dry as parched sand as he came to a stop just outside the shade of the porch.

“Hi.” He pulled his straw cowboy hat from his head and slapped it against his knee. He glanced around. “Where is everyone?”

Her pulse was threatening to send her into a blackout, it was so erratic. “They've gone to town.”
Really, Olivia, get your head back on straight.

“Mule Hollow?”

“Ranger. Your mother wanted to spend some time with them alone.”

His brows dipped, and she knew he was thinking the exact same thing that had crossed her mind as she was sitting here.
Had they been set up?

“Yes,” she said, looking at him. “There is a very good chance that we were set up.”

He hadn't expected her to say that. She hadn't expected to say it, but she was nervous. Her stomach was
rolling with a thousand butterflies. She kept reminding herself that she had to talk to him about Wes needing to know about his mother. So why was she thinking about how nice it would be to get to spend some time with him on the porch swing? The very idea shocked her. But it was the truth.

It had been a long time since she'd sat on a porch swing and talked with a man…Justin, to be exact. They'd enjoyed their talks. Their time together.

Her heart stumbled as she realized again that in this moment, she was thinking only of Gabe's company.

“I'm going to go clean up,” Gabe said, his scowl telling her that he didn't like the idea nearly as much as she did.

Ha.
How about at all, she thought, as he stomped up the steps and entered the house. She was about to get up when he poked his head out the door.

“Don't go anywhere. We need to talk.”

“Oh, okay,” she said, feeling a smile spread though her. Twenty minutes later, when he reappeared, she was about as wound up as Wes after eating too much sugar.

“I feel better.”

He looked freshly shaven and his dark hair curled at the edges, still damp. He'd pulled on an orange T-shirt and a pair of unstarched, worn jeans. He looked more approachable than he had the entire time she'd been here.

“I have a new shipment of cattle down in a lower pasture, and I need to drive out and observe them. Would you want to ride? I can show you some of the place.”

This was totally unexpected. “Sure. I'd love that.” She'd meant to talk to him about Wes. She'd meant to
talk to him about her sister but instead, a few minutes later, she found herself riding beside him in his truck. They were bouncing along over the pasture and through several gates into new pastures. It was beautiful, and there were ponds everywhere. And deer!

“Look at that,” she gasped when the first group of five dashed for the cover of trees, springing over ground as they raced. “They're so graceful. Oh, there's more!” She laughed as another couple flew from the shadows, startled by the truck. “This is so great, Gabe. Wes is going to be a lucky boy growing up here.”

He was relaxed as he drove with a hand draped over the steering wheel and glanced at her. “That's the reason I chose this property when I bought it. I want to give Wes the opportunity to grow up as a country boy. And a cowboy.” He grinned.

“Always a cowboy,” she teased.

“Is there anything else?”

“Of course not,” she chuckled, feeling great. “But I guess that depends on who you ask.”

He cocked a brow. “The ones that count will believe in cowboys.”

Olivia couldn't look away from him. “Then I guess I count,” she said, knowing that she did believe in cowboys. Or in Gabe McKennon anyway.

 

They reached the cattle, and Gabe pulled to a stop beneath the shade of a huge oak tree so he could observe the herd. His head was reeling with what Olivia had just said. Had she meant she believed in him? The idea sent a thrill racing through him—he wanted her to believe in him.

He wanted it in the worst of ways. The realization was startling.

“There are almost as many babies as there are adults.”

He chuckled. “This is a group of mommas and babies. So that's generally the case.”

“I guess that wasn't the smartest thing to say.”

“City girl,” he teased, feeling more lighthearted than he had in a long time as she smiled.

Settling into her seat, she relaxed, propping her arm on the open window as she looked about the pasture. “I could get used to this, I think. You cowboys call this work, huh?”

She hiked a brow that made him smile. “This part is tough, I have to admit. But somebody has to do it.”

“You're doing a fine job, too.”

“Why thank you. I try.”

Their eyes held for a minute. Gabe felt restless suddenly. “Do you want to get out?”

“Sure.” She reached for the door as if she, too, needed out of the confines of the truck.

The thought sent a pleasing sense of right strumming through him. She'd walked a few feet from the truck and was watching the sun as it began lowering in the backdrop behind the cattle. He had to tamp down the want to walk up and put his arms around her. But the desire was almost overwhelming. What was this? He'd never felt so connected to someone in all of his life. Never.

“He needs to know about his mother, you know.” Olivia locked her arms—he wished it was to keep her from wanting to reach for him. But that might have been wishing too much.

“I've been thinking about that since yesterday.” He had this burning grudge against Dawn, and yet she was Wes's mother. “Maybe you're right after all.”

“I know my sister hurt you—no, don't get all defensive,” she said when he stiffened at her words. “I'm not here to take her side. I'm here to get to know who she was, and as a mother, I'm disappointed in her choices. But I can't help but wonder what made her that way. I can't understand that she left you with the baby you'd conceived together. As a mother especially. But Wes needs to know something of his mother. Surely you can give him something. Georgetta talks a little about her, telling him that his mother loved him. But there are no stories there—nothing for him to latch on to.”

What would she say if she knew the truth? How would she look at things if she knew her sister had married him just to leave him to raise the baby she'd conceived with another man?

“That's just it—there isn't anything for him to latch on to because there isn't anything there. I barely knew her. The truth is, I fell for her like a fool. One minute I was single, and the next I was a married man expecting a baby. I knew her name but absolutely nothing about her past. Nothing.”

Olivia looked stunned. “But why? That doesn't seem like you at all.”

How could he explain it? “I fell in love, hard and fast. Dawn was everything I thought I'd ever wanted in a woman. A wife. She turned on the charm, had the beauty and caught me, hook, line and sinker…and I do mean sinker. It wasn't long after the wedding that the illusion faded, and I realized I'd been duped.”

“But what did she want?”

He'd said more than he should have. But there was no way he could tell her that she wanted a daddy and a home for her baby. And yet, looking at the disbelief and concern mixed up in Olivia's lovely face almost made him tell her to see if—if what?
What about your son?

“I guess she thought she wanted a baby. She realized quickly that she didn't. And she didn't want a husband.” He gave a gruff laugh. “That's when I realized I didn't know her at all. I'd married a pretty outer layer of a woman with a shallow core.” He didn't know any other way to put it. And yet he'd been pretty shallow himself for not taking time to really get to know the woman inside that pretty exterior.

“How sad.” Olivia halted, her breath sounding short. “I'd hoped to know my sister. I wonder if the way she was came from her past. You know, maybe never knowing us, her sisters. She was so young, she wouldn't have any remembrance of me and Maegan. Or maybe she did have a shadow of a memory, and she was searching for something elusive.”

He could only stare at Olivia. She had chosen again to look at her sister with compassion. It was aggravating. “Do you always try to excuse people's behavior by diminishing the bad things they do? Or is it something you do only for family?”

Her eyes darkened with—what? Disgust? At him? Or was it pity? The latter made his temper surge. “Why are you looking at me that way?”

“You need to forgive her. I'll admit this is not what I'd wanted to learn about my little sister. But it's obvious there is nothing I can do for her now. But Gabe, you need to let it go. If you don't, it will be unhealthy for you and for Wes. You need to move on. God is pretty
clear that holding on to bitterness can rot a man's soul. It'd be a pity for this bitterness you carry for my sister to rob you of future happiness. It's not hurting anyone but you. And Wes.”

“I can handle it. I don't talk about her, so how's it hurting Wes?”

“Because he'll eventually feel the feelings you have for his mother. Even if he has no memory of her and no stories or anything to build a character sketch of her in his mind, he will see your reactions and build it from that. He'll know your feelings. You
need
to let her go.”

He hadn't thought of that. Was it true?

“Wes's only hope of knowing anything about a mother is that you eventually remarry.”

For a small increment of time, the idea of what life with Olivia would be like had hovered on the outer edge of his mind. He hadn't let it cross into the light, but he knew it had been there. In his deepest heart he knew there was substance to Olivia. There was a beautiful person inside her beautiful skin.

He shook his head, trying to shake the picture he was painting. It was dangerous. Meeting her soft gaze straight on, he inhaled sharply. “I was a fool once. That won't happen again.”

“That's too bad. Marriage can be a beautiful thing when two people love each other. I was really blessed to have had the marriage I did. Justin…he was a truly loving and faithful husband.”

He'd known even before she said so that she must have had a wonderful, strong marriage with her husband. It hit him that Justin also must have known how lucky he was to have her. Looking at her now, Gabe felt a stab
of jealousy. Justin had been one lucky…no, that wasn't true—Justin had been one
blessed
man. He'd known in his short life what some men never knew—true love. It sounded sappy, but Gabe envied him.