Smile for Me (3 page)

“They sent forks too.” Kim pushes the plastic ware towards me.

“Oh, I’m fine.”

“Don’t be dumb. You are making a mess.”

Usualy a comment like this from Kim would bother me. However recently I have come to the conclusion that Kim isn’t exactly rude—she’s just more honest than is socialy acceptable. “I’d rather use the chop sticks.”

“Why?”

Okay—it stil bothers me a little. I unwrap the plastic fork before answering her. “If you must know, I was trying to impress you.”

“Why?”

Instead of answering I just raise my eyebrows at her.

“Wel I am more impressed by al the coaching you’ve given me than by chopsticks. Even if you had been using them correctly, which you weren’t.”

“Do you always end compliments with insults?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

The crazy thing is that she looked like that was true. She realy didn’t realize there was anything wrong with her statement. I decided to let it drop, and we finish our food in silence.

“There is something else we should discuss, you know”

“I know. I appreciated al the help. Please just let me know how much I owe you.” Hearing this, I take a few moments to remind myself that she isn’t being intentionaly insulting. “I don’t want your money, Kim.”

“Oh. Maybe we could trade. Tutoring for coaching?”

“No!” Okay so I am having trouble hanging on to that
socially awkward
excuse for her. “What I mean Kim, is that I don’t need a tutor. I was going to ask you about your song—for tomorrow’s audition.”

“I’m going to sing
when you wish upon a star
. Why are you looking at me that way? Should I pick something else?”

“No, Kim Penney. I think that wil be perfect. You just surprised me that’s al.”

“Is this your thing about whimsy again?” She sounds so disdainful that I choose to ignore her question.

“Do you want to run through the song with me?”

I am floored. Kim Penney is the most incredible singer. I know I have heard this song before, but I don’t remember it ever being so powerful. If I were a chick I would even say I was
moved
, but as I am a guy I wil stick with powerful. How or why has she been keeping this a secret? Our school has a fairly accomplished chorus—she should be a part of that.

Kim closes her eyes when she sings. On stage this is a bad idea; here in my kitchen it’s great, because I can openly stare at her al I want. Al the social rules of respecting a woman’s space, which my mother has been driling into me since she caught me chasing Amy Miler around the playground when I was four, fly out of my mind. Almost involuntarily, I find myself closing the distance between us. I am only two steps away from doing something realy dumb—like stopping her song with a kiss—when her cel phone buzzes to life next to us on the table. I jump back away from her.

“It’s just Paul.” Kim silences her phone, but the moment is gone.

How creepy is it that I wish I had a recording of her singing to me? If it is very creepy, please forget I mentioned it. “Oh. I wasn’t sure you two were stil… an item.”

“What? Oh yeah, of course we are.”

“Do you want me to give you some privacy? To cal him back?”

“Oh no. He was just caling to check in. He does that every couple of days.”

Okay—normaly I would feel bad about making a play for someone else’s girl. But realy—every couple of days? And she isn’t exactly worried about caling him back. I have decided that ignoring Paul’s claim on her isn’t worth losing sleep over. So sad, too bad buddy.

“Marshal? Are you listening to me?”

Crap. “What? Oh, of course. What did you say?”

“I asked what you thought—wil it be okay?”

It takes me a minute, but I finaly figure out Kim is talking about her song. “It was perfect, Kim. You are an amazing singer.”

“I took voice lessons when I was a kid. I had a lisp.”

“Wel, it was worth it. Just open your eyes when you’re onstage, okay?”

It is pretty late now so Kim packs up her stuff and I walk her home. “You don’t have to walk me across the street Marshal. I doubt the boogie man is lurking in my bushes.”

“Did you just make a joke?” Surprise surprise—Kim Penney has a sense of humor.

“It’s been known to happen. Thanks again, for helping me out.” I choose not to mention that this is the first time she’s thanked me. “Are you coming to the auditions tomorrow?”

I am supposed to work at Slices after school tomorrow, but you should see her face. It is almost needy. I am addicted to this feeling I get Kim looks at me that way. “I wouldn’t miss it.” I wil just have to be late. “Good night, Kim Penney.”

“Good night, Marshal Henries.”

Chapter Five

“I punched in for you twenty minutes ago.” Mandy hisses at me when I rush through the door at work.

“Thanks. I got caught at auditions.”

“With Kim?”

I am not sure if I should feel bad about that. I wish Jason had never told me about Mandy’s feelings. “Kim was there, yes.”

“I’m glad. She needs to have some fun.” Mandy isn’t facing me. She’s piling plates onto her tray. So I can’t see her expression. I like Mandy a lot. I hope this isn’t going to get weird.

“I agree.”

The rest of the afternoon is busy. Slices isn’t very big, so it doesn’t take much to make us busy. Most of our orders are for delivery or carryout, but we do have a smal dining room. The tables are old, the chairs are mismatched, and there is more than one strip of duct tape on the booths. None of that matters much though, because the food is good and there is an arcade area that is very popular with the middle school crowd. I stil hold the Ms. Pac-Man high score I set when I was twelve. I won’t tel you how many quarters and Friday afternoons that cost me at the time, but I wil say that it was totaly worth it.

Mandy and I work realy wel when we wait tables together. I guess after doing it al summer we have developed kind of a system. The tips are always better when we keep an eye on each other’s sections. I am especialy appreciative for her help today, because I am a little distracted.

No matter how I try I can’t seem to get Kim off my mind. Big surprise right? I could tel she was nervous when she stepped out on that stage today. But I bet I am the only one who could tel. After watching her perform the same one minute bit over and over again I feel like I could spot her
nervous
from a mile away. She did great, though. Her monologue was fine, but her song was spectacular. I swear one minute that room was filed with teenagers gossiping or practicing their own audition pieces, and from Kim’s first note the whole room went silent.

Kim Penney Fantasy of the Day #2 (I am keeping #1 to myself today):
After Patterson thanks Kim she would have jumped off the stage and
run right to me. I’d hug her and tell her how awesome she did.

“It’s all thanks to you, Marshall. You are my hero.”

“Any time Kim Penney, any time.” I would be so suave— all confident and smiling. She would let me leave one arm wrapped around her
shoulders as we walked to the parking lot. My truck would be shiny and clean and have a FULL tank of gas. In the truck she would slide to the middle
so she could lean into my shoulder while I drove.

In my fantasy I would not be rushing off to work. I think that we would be driving off into the sunset or something else equally romantic.

In reality—she exited the stage on the opposite side from where I was standing without so much as a glance in my direction. I probably could have made it here on time, but I waited around for Kim to come back, and she didn’t. Why does she do this to me? Why do I do this to myself? Why do I let it matter so much? If I had any sense at al I would take Claire up any one of her many
invitations
. Or at the very least I would ask out Mandy.

***

I almost didn’t stop at Kim’s locker this morning. I was almost decided on walking right past and maybe even sitting in the back row during history. But then at the last moment I remembered watching her with those damn chopsticks and for whatever reason that made up my mind. So here I am waiting and holding blueberry tea in a pink cup like an idiot.

“Marshal!” Kim looks genuinely surprised to see me. It is as though this hasn’t been my first stop every morning for more than a week now.

“Kim!” I return her surprise a little mockingly, but hold out the tea anyway.

“I thought… wel I didn’t think I’d see you today.”

“Why is that?”

“Wel… yesterday….” Her sentence drops off and she smels the cup. Why does she always seem to be so worried I am going to poison her?

“Yesterday I was late for work, because I wanted to watch your audition.” I finish for her.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“Sorry that you ran off without even acknowledging me?” If she is going to apologize I am al for forgiveness.

“No. I am sorry I messed it up. You worked so hard—I pretty much blew it.”

I am wavering between being angry that she doesn’t feel bad about running off on me, and being… wel whatever that tenderness churning in my gut is. “You didn’t blow it, Kim. It was good.”

“So you think I wil make the cast?”

“I am sure of it.”

“Good. Aren’t you ever late to class?” I guess that is the end of discussing yesterday.

“Every morning, lately. Why? Are you worried about me?”

“Wel I don’t think it is particularly responsible to walk into class late.”

“Friday, Patterson wil be posting the cast list in the activities halway before first period. Want to meet there?” I ignore her dig about responsibility.

“Sure.”

***

“So?” I turn around when I hear her; Kim is looking at me looking at the list.

I have to admit—I’ve already looked. I got here, and I tried to wait for Kim but I couldn’t help myself. I am super psyched to be playing Benny. And I want to be happy for Kim, but I am not at al sure how she’s going to take the news. In some ways Kim is very unpredictable.

“Wel. You made the list!” I offer her my biggest smile—the one I use on mom to get out of doing the dishes on casserole night.

Kim relaxes her shoulders in what I am guessing is relief. Most high school girls are very vocal and demonstrative when it comes to … wel everything. Not Kim. I used to think that she only experienced various shades of staid and responsible, but now I know there is a whole rainbow of human emotion hiding in there.

“Good. Thanks, Marshal.” She turns to walk away. I wil probably never figure this girl out.

“Don’t you want to know what part you got?”

“Oh. Of course.” She stops and turns to face me again. I swear this is the first time that has occurred to her. Like she never thought past actualy making it to the list.

“Trish. You are playing Trish—that’s Patterson’s version of Beatrice.” Do you remember how I was teling you that I like when Kim Penney does things that surprise me? Wel, that isn’t always true.

Surprise. Kim drops her bag on the floor and flies into the girls’ bathroom.

After a smal amount of hesitation (it is the girls’ room after al) I pick up her bag and folow her in. A girl so short that she must be in the ninth grade is standing at the sink. She takes one look at me and runs out faster than a scared rabbit. There is a flushing noise. “Kim?” I try not to cal too loudly.

“This is the ladies’ room.” Kim’s voice seems to be coming from the last stal; the metal door is hanging open. Looking down, I can see her rubber-soled-low-heeled-lunch-lady shoes sticking out the door. From the position of her feet and legs I am sure she is kneeling on the floor.

“I am aware of that. Can I come in there?”

“There is realy only room for one.”

I take a chance and swing the door open wider. Sure enough she is kneeling with her head over the toilet like she is going to puke, or maybe she already did.

“I don’t take up as much room as you might think. What’s the matter?”

“I can’t be Beatrice.”

“Technicaly, you are
Trish
.” Not even a chuckle. The school bathrooms are pretty clean, but I stil wouldn’t want to be kneeling on the floor in one—so I pul off my hoodie and push it under her knees. “Do you want me to get the school nurse?”

“No. I’m done.”

“Did you throw up?”

“Obviously.” She shoots me a mean look. At least sarcastic is better than crying. “Sometimes I do that when I’m nervous, or stressed, or sad, or… wel you get the point.”

“I’m starting to.” A thought is growing in my mind. “Is this why you ran off on after your audition?”

“Yup.” She’s blushing red, but that is better than the shade of green she was a moment ago.

“Wel that’s a relief. I thought you were avoiding me.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I can’t be Beatrice. What is Mr. Patterson thinking?”

“Probably, that this is a musical and that you are the most phenomenal singer that tried out.”

“I’m not a good actress.”

“You aren’t a bad actress. I’m teling you, you were good. And that was with only one night to prepare.”

“This is a disaster!” Kim gets up off the floor and goes to the sink where she washes her hands and splashes water over her face. “We should go. The bel is going to ring soon.”

“You’re sure you don’t want to go to the nurse?” She stil looks a little green to me.

“Very sure. Thank you, Marshal.”

I’m not even sure what she is thanking me for. “You’re welcome.”

Chapter Six

Dave and Steve both offer me the obligatory high five when I got to Brit Lit. Dave must have seen the list even before I got to school.

“Benny—good going, man. This is your big break.” Dave is talking and Steve is bobbing his head up and down in agreement.

“Yeah, man. Good going.” Steve puts in.

“Thanks guys—but don’t you think you are over doing it a bit.” I don’t want to sound ungracious but I’ve had a lot of good roles. They are laughing at me now.

“We are talking about The Professor, dude!” Steve finaly stopped laughing. “and the two of you practicing al that” Steve finishes his sentence my squishing his lips together and making loud smacking kissing sounds.

“We are going to practice being fish? I don’t see how that wil help the play.” I am rescued from finishing that conversation by Ms. Parker caling rol.

The truth is that even though I haven’t read Patterson’s version yet I know there wil be at least one Benny/Trish kiss. There has to be. And while I am not against the idea of locking lips with Kim Penney, I am a little wary of our first kiss happening on stage in front of a couple hundred people. Maybe I wil just have to man-up and kiss her before the on-stage kiss becomes a problem… maybe.

Kim was preoccupied each time I saw her for the rest of the day. I was prepared to wait and talk to her after European History—since it’s the last class of the day. But she had al her things packed up in record time and she bolted out the door as soon as the bel rang. So I went to the theater room alone to pick up my script. Everyone was supposed to pick up a script and read it over the weekend before our first rehearsal on Monday.

Now I’m home and al I want to do is pop some popcorn and start reading. (al the while praying it isn’t as awful as I suspect).

“Hey, Marshal.” Spinning around away from the microwave, where I’ve been watching the bag of popcorn expand, I find Mandy standing in the doorway.

“Hey, Mandy. What can I do for you?”

“umm… is Jason here?” I can’t help but wonder if that is just an excuse. She spends an awful lot of time with my brother to not know he’s got a week of detentions.

“No. Sorry. He’s in detention—something about destruction of school property.” I mentioned that he is a barbarian, right?

Mandy broke into a wide laughing grin. She is very pretty. I bet Kim would look amazing if I could get her to grin that way. “I forgot. He wasn’t trying to be destructive realy, you know.”

“With Jason? One can never be too sure.”

“It’s true. Do you know Abram? He’s in Jason’s grade.”

“Can’t say I do.”

“Oh. Wel he’s kind of shy, and I guess a lot of people pick on him. So yesterday somebody stole fanny pack”

“Wait! He has a fanny pack?”

Mandy giggled. “I know—wel that’s probably part of why he gets picked on. He carries emergency alergy medicine in there. But anyway, somebody thought it would be funny to hide it above the ceiling tiles in a classroom. So Jason stacked up a couple of desks and climbed them to get it down.”

“That doesn’t sound very destructive.”

“Wel… after he tossed the bag down to Abram he decided to do a little dance on top of al those desks… a couple of them broke when he fel.”

“That does sound like Jason. I’m surprised he got in so much trouble though, considering the circumstances.”

“Oh. He didn’t tel the principal about Abram’s bag. Technicaly Abram is supposed to leave it with the school nurse in the mornings. But I guess he’s pretty scared of having a reaction and not being able to get to his medicine.”

I have to admit it—I’m a little proud of my usualy annoying kid brother. “Cool.” I make a mental note to give mom and dad this side of the story. Maybe he doesn’t need to be grounded on top of al those detentions.

“Yeah. He is. Wel tel him I stopped by, or whatever.” Mandy waves as she walks out the door. It’s too bad she isn’t into Jason. She is clearly a good influence on him.

“It’s open!” I yel when I hear the doorbel ring. I just got comfortable on the couch with the popcorn bowl balanced on my chest. It isn’t my fault if Jason forgot his key, and is too dumb to try the knob.

“Helo?” At the sound of Kim’s voice I spring off the couch. Popcorn showers down around me, and the bowl lands upside down on the coffee table. Mom is going to kil me. “Marshal, are you home?” Kim’s face appears around the corner.

“Umm… sure Kim. I’m home.” Obviously dude, I think to myself, she has eyes after al. Beautiful eyes. Realy beautiful eyes.

“Marshal?”

“I’m sorry Kim. Did you need something?” I get busy cleaning up the popcorn mess.

“I didn’t get into Brown.”

Again with the different conversations. “Okay.” That’s it. That is al I can think to say. “You might want to give me more to go on.”

“I applied to Brown for early acceptance. The interviews were a couple weeks ago. I didn’t get in.” She kneels down to help me with the popcorn.

“Okay. Wel Brown is probably pretty hard to get into. And it is just early acceptance—You could stil get accepted.”

“Paul got in. Paul got early acceptance.”

I’ve mentioned my less than awesome opinion of Paul Arnold right? “Wel everyone is different, Kim. And Paul is a year ahead of us right? I am sure things change from one year to the next.”

“I need to be more creative. That’s what she said. My application is too one-sided. I need a more
creative
extracurricular. Apparently she would like to see me
loosen up
this year.”

She’s not the only one. A light bulb finaly flickers to life above my head. “So you figured you would try out for the play. Be creative.”

“Paul said it would be the easiest.
Just stand up there and say a couple of lines, sing a song if you want to
. Boy was he wrong.” Her imitation of Paul makes me want to drive to Rhode Island and punch him in the nose—hard.
Easy?!
“Wel he may have a skewed impression of the theater. But it is creative. It wil help with your applications.”

“Except I
can’t
do it. I barely made it through my monologue in front of 25 students. I can’t be onstage for two hours! I thought I could maybe be an extra or something. Sing back up.”

“Nobody with your voice should ever be singing
back up
, Kim.”

“There is nothing else available for the fal semester.”

“What?” Man she loses me quick. And I was realy working hard at not being distracted by the extra strands of hair that escaped her braid and are curling down one side of her face.

“I went to the office this afternoon. I was going to sign up for something else. But everything is ful! I have to do the stupid play.”

“I just read it—it isn’t that bad.”

She shoots me a look that says she isn’t in the mood to joke around. Her looks are right on par with Dave’s snorts.

“I need you, Marshal.” Oops. Did I slip into fantasy mode? “Are you going to help me or not? If I don’t do the play I won’t be able to go to Brown with Paul next year.” Oh. Not a fantasy. Imaginary Kim never asks me to help her get closer to
Paul.

“Sure, Kim. I’l help you.” She is squirming a little and looking at me strangely.

“Is there something else?”

“Wel… I might need a lot of help.”

I remember how stiff she was when we’d first started practicing her monologue. The memory makes me smile. “No
might
about it.”

“Thanks.” I kind of like when she is sarcastic. It is almost teasing, which everybody knows is practicaly flirting. “Wel… I wanted to offer to pay you, but that made you mad last time. I don’t want to make you mad.”

“Wel I guess not wanting to make me mad is as good a place as any to start.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Please don’t make me explain, Kim. If you wanted to, I am very sure you could figure it out for yourself. And anyway I stil don’t want your money. I am thinking of more of a trade.”

“What class do you need help in?”

I want to tel Kim my GPA, but bragging seems a little childish. I realy wish mom was stil in the habit of hanging my particularly impressive test scores on the fridge. It is too bad Jason complained about the unequal fridge representation a couple years ago. Like it is my fault he does his homework in front of the TV.

“I’m not talking about classes Kim.” Her eyes go wide. Crap. I wasn’t talking about
that
either. “I meant a trade of
time
. I’l coach you for the play, and once a week you have to do something with me. Something fun, of my choosing.”

“I don’t know.” She sounds suspicious, but also a little intrigued. Good let her be intrigued. It won’t hurt my cause any to have her thinking about me a little extra. “What kind of fun?”

“The fun kind, Kim.” I rol my eyes at her. “Have I given you any reason to distrust me?”

“No. Of course that isn’t what I meant.”

“So, when do you want to start?” Al the popcorn is picked up by now so I dump it into the garbage and get busy washing out the bowl while I pretend like her agreeing to spend time with me isn’t the most important thing to ever happen in my life.

“Is yesterday too soon?”

“Another joke Kim Penney? If you aren’t careful you might start to enjoy having me around.” I turn around to look her in the eyes and lean back against the sink. Today Kim is wearing a tan sweater over her brownish khaki pants. She is so pretty. I’m probably grinning like an idiot right now, but I don’t care.

“I usualy do. And then you go and say stuff like that to confuse me.”

“Tomorrow, Kim. We can work on your lines tomorrow. I have to work until 7:00; can you come over about 7:30?”
Chapter Seven

“Back again, Kim? Better be careful, Marshal—Mandy’s going to get jealous.” Jason is his regular idiot self as he walks into the living room on Sunday afternoon. Kim was here until almost midnight last night reading through lines and she came back today right after lunch.

“Don’t you have something better to do Jason?”

“Not realy.” He looks like he is planning on sitting down, but eventualy he spins around and goes back the way he came.

“Are you and Mandy Johnson dating?” Kim wants to know.

“Would that be a problem for you?”

“No. But I don’t want her to be unnecessarily jealous.”

“Unnecessarily?” She is just staring down at her script. Like she didn’t hear me. Wel that’s fine. I wil pretend I didn’t say it
.
“She lives down the street, and our parents are friends. Mandy, Jason, and I grew up together. We are al friends—Jason is just a drama queen.”

“Okay then.”

What does that mean? Okay then I’m glad you’re available? Okay then I can see why Mandy isn’t interested in you after al? Okay then maybe you and I should get together and live happily forever after?

“Helo? Marshal?” Kim is waving her script in front of my face.

“My bad, Kim. I was distracted. Where were we?”

“Actualy, I should probably go. I need to eat.”

“I could get us some dinner.” It is a little early stil for dinner, bit if Kim is hungry that is a stupid reason for me to let her leave.

“No. I have other homework anyway. I’l see you tomorrow?”

“Sure. In our first official rehearsal.”

“And in European History, Chemistry, and Calculus.”

In between laughs I agree and tel her to have a good evening. I wish this had been a date. If it had I would be able to say it was my best date ever. Also if it had been a date I would have kissed her good night. This would have solved another of my problems because, as it turns out, Benny and Trish have two on-stage kisses.

***

“So, Kim. Are you al set for our date tomorrow?” Kim and I are walking to the parking lot after European History on the Friday of the best and worst week of my life.

Every day this week we have gotten together to run lines and work on her movements. Even on the two days that we had regular rehearsals Kim insisted on practicing a little longer afterwards. Being with her is a total roler coaster ride. One minute I am fighting the urge wrap my arms around her, and the next minute something she says has me mad enough to spit. Now it’s Friday, and I have to work a long shift tonight at Slices. Tomorrow Kim and I have our first
fun
night planned.

“It isn’t a date.”

“Oh. No, that was just a figure of speech.” I have been reminding myself al week that it wasn’t a date—didn’t seem to work though.

“What do you want to do?”

“It’s a surprise, Kim. I promise it wil be fun.” We have come to a stop in front of her car. “I’l pick you up at 2:00. Wear sneakers, okay?”

***

I am standing on Kim’s front porch and I am five minutes late.

Kim Penney Fantasy of the Day #1:
I ring the doorbell and Kim’s mom or dad or even a butler answers. (I know the butler thing is rather unlikely
but the point is that I don’t care who opens the door) As soon as I walk in I can see Kim at the top of a flight of stairs.

She is wearing the quintessential little black date dress. I actually have no idea why it is so quintessential, but Mom says all girls have one. And
while I could care less about it being black I am totally on board with it being ‘little’.

She does a slow motion descent and upon reaching the bottom step I hand her… what? A corsage? Too cheesy. A bouquet of flowers? Still cheesy.

My heart?--- whoa Henries don’t get ahead of yourself! You don’t like her
that
much. Hell, sometimes you don’t even like her at all…

“Are you alright?” Kim Penney sticks her head out the door. She’s wearing a white polo shirt and another pair of khakis. Oh wel, the dress would have been ridiculous for what I have planned anyway.

“Oh. Hi, Kim. I was just about to knock.”

“You’ve been out here for like fifteen minutes.”

Actualy I got here ten minutes ago, but I just couldn’t ring the bel. I’m not saying that I’m nervous, because of course this isn’t a date. But I was suddenly very worried that she won’t appreciate my idea of fun. I want to take her somewhere new. Somewhere Paul would never have even thought of.