Society Rules (22 page)

“Will,” she had to clear her throat several times and begin again. “Will . . . I . . . I want a divorce.”

Oh my God. She did it. Threw it right there on the table.

Will didn’t move. He didn’t say anything either.

“Did . . . did you hear me?” Indie stammered.

Will lifted his head. He looked confused . . . wary. “No,” he said slowly, “I’m not sure that I did.”

“I want a divorce,” she repeated miserably, ducking her head down a bit, so that she could see his face. A look of wounded comprehension was moving across his features. He looked a little like he was going to be sick right there on his shoes.

It was awful to see.

“Why?” he asked in strained voice.

“Will, please!” Indie choked. Okay, this was a completely reasonable question. Who wouldn’t ask
why
, but she didn’t want to go there. He looked up into her face, his eyes searching. Disbelief clouded his features.

“
Why!”
He repeated. It was not a question. It was a demand.

“It’s complicated.” Well, wasn’t that an understatement.

“Been thinking about this for a while, have you?” His voice was beginning to take on the thin edge of anger.

Okay, that was better . . . easier for her to deal with than his pain. “Yes,” Indie lied awkwardly, looking at the warm tapestry pattern on the couch.

All of this afternoon. It felt like a while.

“And you didn’t feel the need to say anything sooner?
Before
you came to this conclusion, huh? Maybe we could have worked on things. Maybe we still can!” Will reached out and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her toward him. He suddenly had a desperate look in his eyes.

Indie was now enjoying the combo meal of horror, with a side of stunned disbelief. She had never dreamed this man capable of feeling any depth of emotion, much less the amount that seemed to be building, right here in front of her.

“Will, no . . . please don’t!” She pulled away from him, and stood up. This was rapidly becoming more than Indie was prepared to handle. It looked like Jackson had been right on the money about her husband’s reaction.

Will remained seated, leaning slightly forward.

Without looked up at her, hurt glowing in his eyes, and reached his hand slowly in her direction. It felt like a test.

Indie swallowed hard. She lifted her hand shakily to take it, but she had hesitated too long. He dropped his hand to the couch.

“So . . . what, there’s no love there at all?” he asked, now looking at the carpet. His voice sounded strange. Indie’s heart ached.

“Will, I will always have love for you . . .”

“But not that kind. Right, I get it. Next, you can tell me we will still be ‘friends’!” He looked so wounded that his sarcasm could not touch her.

“Let’s face it, Will, ours never was a passionate love story, was it?”

“Is that the problem?’ he asked roughly. “Not enough passion?” She didn’t want to bring the dialogue in that direction, either.

“
Is
there someone else?” he asked suddenly, turning on her with new energy.

Oh,
of
course
he
would
ask
that
question!

Funny though, she hadn’t even considered the possibility of Will coming to that conclusion.

“I . . . I don’t know what to say,” Indie stuttered.

“Oh, okay,” he spit out the words, “how about YES!” he growled. “Obviously, if that’s your response!”

Indie continued to stare at the floor.

“Well, this has just gotten really interesting.” Will hurled at her. “So how long
have
you been screwing around?”

“It’s not like that!” she cried out hysterically, stung by his assumption.

“Really, Indie? I thought you had more class, but, hey, I’ve been wrong about things before!”

She couldn’t bear this attack, his voice so full of sarcasm, anger and hurt. Telling herself that it was just his pain speaking didn’t help.

“I have NOT been ‘screwing around’, Will!” she shouted. “Although why you would be so shocked if I was, is beyond me. It’s not like you’ve shown any interest in that kind of activity . . . not with
me
, anyway!”

This brought him up short. She had never raised her voice to him, ever. Nor had she complained about their non-existent sex life.

“But you
have
met someone else?” Will pressed, sounding somewhat confused now, and oddly, not responding to the “no sex with me” part Indie had just tossed out there like a live grenade.

Indie sighed and nodded. What was the point of denying it now? And leave it to Will to still ignore important things regarding their relationship, even in the middle of an argument.

“So . . .” he was thinking, speaking slowly. “So, you’ve met someone . . . but you haven’t been having a physical relationship with him?”

“NO!” Indie almost sobbed, “I have had
NO
relationship with him!” Will blinked, trying to understand. He put his head in his hands.

“So let me see if I understand this correctly. You saw someone on the street that you are interested in, and now you’re going to dump me, and end our marriage, so that you can pursue a relationship with him?” Indie stared at Will, alarmed at how accurate this ridiculous statement really was.

“That’s not . . .
exactly
what happened,” she whispered.

“Well, feel free to clarify it for me, Indie,” he demanded, exasperated. The odd hoarseness was back in his voice again, making him sound like a stranger. Indie decided at that moment, that she would just tell him, and let him make of it what he would.

“Okay,” she took a deep breath. “I met him yesterday, and I fell in love, and I have to be with him!”

There. Insane or not, it was simply the truth.

“You’re ending your marriage over a guy you met
yesterday
? I mean, are you fucking
kidding
me?”

Indie shrank back from his out of character use of profanity in her presence as Will fell back on the couch, looking as though he had taken a punch. He looked up at his wife and spoke miserably.

“Well. I guess you really do take me for some kind of idiot, huh?”

Indie sat down next to him, and spoke as gently as she could.

“I know it sounds crazy. I don’t understand it myself, but it’s true. I think the moment our eyes met, I knew.”

“And are you telling me that this jackass feels the same way about you?” he asked in the same dispassionate voice.

Indie flinched at Will’s word for Jackson, knowing how absolutely opposite of that description he was, but she could see where Will might feel differently.

“Yes,” she answered simply.

“And he knows you are married?”

“Yes,” she repeated.

“Jackass.” Will confirmed to himself.

With a quick swipe of his hand, Will grabbed Indie’s wrist, pulling her down to his eye level. He stared at her; his voice cracked in despair.

“Please, Indie . . . don’t count me out . . . not yet!”

Indie’s voice deserted her, and she was sickened by the desperate look on his face, but she shook her head sadly. She knew what had to be.

Will sat motionless for several minutes, and then began to shake. Suddenly, he threw his hands over his face and rolled over quickly, so that his knees were on the floor. He buried his face into the sofa cushions, hands crushing the fabric on the sides of the pillows. Indie was horror-stricken and speechless.

She had never seen him shed a tear. Not even at funerals. He’d never even seemed capable. Now, here was this big strong and always in control man, who seemed so indifferent to her existence, shedding tears.

Over
her
.

So Indie did the only thing she could think to do in light of the situation. She joined in by bursting into tears as well.

If
I
really
am
some
kind
of
alien
creature,
she sobbed to herself,
now
would
be
a
great
time
for
the
Mother
ship
to
send
down
a
tractor
beam,
and
suck
me
up
in
to
the
safe
confines
of
the
hold,
and
hyperspace
away
with
me.
Me
and
Jackson
, she couldn’t help adding, guiltily.

Indie put her hand lightly on Will’s back, and he startled her by rolling over again swiftly, grabbing her and pulling her tightly against his chest. He was still convulsing with silent tears, but it was slowing.

She allowed him to hold her, and after a moment, she allowed herself to hold him. She wanted to comfort him, and wanted to be comforted; the unaccustomed closeness of his body felt solid and secure.

They stayed this way, locked together for a long time.

Will slowly regained his composure, and sighed. He pushed her back a bit to look at her; the vulnerability in his eyes a completely alien sight.

“I just don’t get it. How can you know this is what you want so suddenly?” he asked, brushing her hair out of her face.

“I can’t explain it, but I know. I knew as soon as his hand touched mine, that he would give me exactly the kind of love I needed.” Indie felt him stiffen instantly at these words.

“Wh . . . what did you say?”

Maybe she was being too blunt . . . too cruel.

He pulled back further and looked at her, seeming to study her in a way that he had never done before. His eyes narrowed slightly, and then widened, with . . .
what?

Shock? Fear?

Indie wasn’t sure.

Something significant had just passed through his brain, that was obvious.

Will stood up abruptly, nearly losing his balance and took a step backward, looking at her like she’d just turned into something coiled and poisonous.

“Oh God . . . maybe . . . maybe I
do
understand,” he choked out the words. “Maybe even better than you do.”

She didn’t know what to make of this statement, and knew she was projecting confusion now. Will’s face smoothly shifted expression, and Indie had a sudden, disorienting feeling of air shimmering, like an invisible cloud of something toxic.

She could actually see Will shrinking into himself, his emotions withdrawing inside until they completely vanished. Something similar to watching a leaf swirl around faster and faster until it finally slips down the drain . . . swallowed by a vortex.

For a nauseating moment, it was almost as if Will himself was shrinking, in the way that things get smaller as they move away from you. But it quickly became clear to Indie that what she was seeing was a perfect vision of his emotional retreat.

Warm blood and beating heart replaced with cold stone and crisp detachment.

“I hear you, Indie.” his voice saturating her with its icy coolness. “I will give you what you want. Just stay here until we can get this thing . . . all of the details worked out, okay? It’ll be easier on the kids, right?”

Suddenly overwhelmed by fear and exhaustion, couldn’t argue with him now. She just wanted to crawl into bed and try to thaw.

And pretend to sleep.

“Sure, Will. You’re right.” Indie answered numbly.

“And Will, just so we’re clear, I don’t want to take the kids from you. I want you to stay in their lives just as much as you are now. We can work it out.”

Will’s eyes took on a narrowed glint that made her instinctively very uncomfortable.

“That’s really good that you feel that way, Indie. Really . . . very good.”