Soiled Dove (26 page)

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Authors: Brenda Adcock

Tags: #Gay, #Fiction, #Romance, #General, #Religious, #Lesbian

BOOK: Soiled Dove
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“It was a very interesting story. I felt sorry for Hester and Reverend Dimmesdale, however.”

“Why? They sinned and were caught. Do you think their punishment was undeserved?”

Loretta leaned closer to the fire and stared into the flames. “It seemed unfair.”

“Hester committed the sin of adultery.”

Loretta laughed, but there was no joy in it. “But she didn’t know her husband was alive. Everyone sins. Whether being in love and expressing that love is a sin, I don’t know. The story reminded me of being here.”

“With me?”

“In a way.” Loretta left her chair and lowered herself to the floor in front of Clare. “If what I feel for you is a sin according to some, then I am a sinner indeed. I have chosen gladly to be with you.”

“There will always be those who break the rules of civilization. I suppose it all depends on how one handles what they’ve done,” Clare said. “I’ve sinned many times and felt little remorse afterward.”

“Did you feel like a sinner when you killed those men who murdered your family?”

“You and Ino must have had a very long talk,”

Clare said with a frown.

“We did.”

“It felt like sweet revenge when I let those men die. But it didn’t bring my family back to me. I hope they at least rested more easily in their graves knowing they weren’t forgotten.”

“Would you kill their leader, after all these years, if you found him?”

“Without a second thought. As bad as people think I am, I would never kill a helpless woman or child who could do me no harm just for the sake of a few coins.”

“And what about your sin with me?”

“I would gladly suffer any punishment to continue sinning with you.” Clare cradled Loretta’s face in her hand. “Unlike Reverend Dimmesdale, I don’t have a need to reconcile my actions with my beliefs.”

Loretta smiled. “Perhaps next time we should read a book with less weighty moral issues. Will you join me later?”

“Of course.”

Chapter Fifteen

THE ONE HORSE buggy topped the final rise before reaching Clare’s ranch on a sunny, but brisk Saturday morning in mid-October. Clare was assisting Frank Carson re-shoe two of their horses. She heard the sound of the buggy approaching and looked up.

“Take a break, Frank,” she said patting him on the back. “Looks like the agent from the army is finally here.”

She walked slowly across the packed dirt between the stable and the main house, arriving in time to greet a man and a woman. She helped the woman step out of the buggy while the man stepped down from the opposite side.

“Thank you,” the woman said in a soft voice with a slight southern drawl as she dusted her gloved hands over her dress and looked around.

“Carter Jamison,” the man said as he approached Clare, hand extended.

“Clare McIlhenney,” she replied as she shook his hand.

“This is my wife, Amanda. You certainly are a long way from town,” Jamison commented as he brushed his hands together as if cleaning dirt from them. “Nice house.”

“Thanks. Can I offer you a cup of coffee or something else before we get down to business?”

Clare asked.

“We’d appreciate that. It’s a dusty trip out here,”

Jamison said as he and his wife followed Clare toward the house. She opened the front door and held it as the two entered.

“Loretta!” Clare called out. When there was no response she said, “My housekeeper’s probably tending her garden out back. I’ll be right back. Please make yourselves comfortable.”

Clare exited the back door off the kitchen and spotted Loretta, stooped over, turning the soil in her garden into hills with her familiar hoe. Clare stepped carefully to avoid stepping on anything that wasn’t a weed.

“The army procurement agent and his wife have arrived,” she said. She allowed her hand to linger a heartbeat longer than usual on Loretta’s shoulder.

Loretta smiled up at her. “I baked a cake this morning hoping they would be here. I’ll be right in.”

A few minutes later, Loretta entered the back door and removed her straw hat, hanging it on a hook inside the door. She pumped water into the sink to wash her face and hands before taking cups and small dishes from a cabinet in the dining room. She cut a generous portion of cake for each dish and set the cups and dishes on a serving tray and carried them into the living room. She set the tray down and returned to the kitchen to get the coffee pot. She handed a dish and fork to Mrs. Jamison, then filled a cup with steaming coffee and set it on the table next to her. She repeated the same motions with the cattle buyer, but when she looked at him as she handed him a dish, her hand froze and her face blanched. By the time she was ready to pour his coffee, her hand had begun trembling. Jamison reached out and took the cup from her to prevent the coffee from spilling. Her eyes met his briefly and there was no misinterpreting the lascivious look she saw in his eyes. Carter Jamison was a portly man in his forties and fancied himself a great lover. Although Loretta had done what she needed to do to please him as a customer, Jamison had only been interested in taking her in ways she was certain his wife would never have allowed. His preferences bordered on the sadistic. He always requested Loretta and she had never been able to convince Jack that she was afraid of the man. His money had simply been too good for Jack to turn down. She may have been Jack’s favorite, but like his other girls, she was replaceable and disposable.

Loretta handed Clare a dish, followed by a cup of coffee. “Is there anything else you need?” she asked.

“Won’t you be joining us?” Jamison asked. “I’m sorry, my dear. I don’t believe we’ve been introduced.” He looked across the room at Clare.

“This is my housekeeper, Loretta Langford. You can stay if you wish, Retta,” Clare said.

“I should get back to the gardening. Just leave your dishes when you’re finished and I’ll come back in for them later. It was nice to meet you both.”

As quickly as possible, Loretta hurried from the room and went out the back door. How was it possible she would meet a former customer so far from St. Joe? Perhaps she should have kept moving west until she ran into the ocean. Perhaps she should have taken the train east instead. She tied her hat under her chin and leaned against the house, covering her eyes with her hands. God, what if Carter Jamison told Clare who she really was? No, he wouldn’t do that. His wife was with him. What if he came back again alone while Clare and the men were away from the house? She should have told Clare everything about her past, about the prostitution that had kept her alive before it nearly killed her.

“How long will you be in the area, Mr. Jamison?”

Clare asked.

“A week. I’ve already signed contracts with three other ranchers to take their herds. If you and I can come to an agreement my quota will be filled. Then my wife and I can perhaps take a day or two to see more of this beautiful area. How long have you been here, Miss McIlhenney?”

“Twenty years. It’s taken a long time to build my herd up. If the army will drive the herds north itself it would be much faster than waiting for the cattle to be driven by each individual rancher.”

“How many head do you figure you have?”

“A couple hundred,” Clare said. “I don’t want to deplete my herd. By next year I should have at least that number again. A steady supply. We can ride out and you can see them whenever you’re ready. Mrs.

Jamison will have to stay here, however. The cattle are still in the higher meadow and I’m not sure the buggy would make it. There aren’t any real roads farther up.”

“That’s fine,” Amanda Jamison said. “This cake is delicious. Perhaps I can get your housekeeper’s recipe while y’all are gone.”

“Yes,” Jamison added. “Please offer her my compliments as well. She is obviously quite a talented young woman.”

“I’ll get a horse saddled for you. We should get back in time for you to return to Trinidad before dark.”

BY EARLY NOVEMBER Clare’s herd had been picked up by the army and driven north. Clare and her men began driving the remaining cattle into the lower pastures while Loretta put up the last of the vegetables from her garden and finished filling the root cellar. Ino and Clare slaughtered two of their herd for winter as well as deer and elk. Work would continue around the ranch through the winter, but at a slower pace.

Two nights before Hettie and Cyrus’ wedding, Loretta snuggled down under the quilt covering Clare’s bed. A light snowfall had begun earlier in the day and the smaller fireplace in the bedroom kept the room comfortable. There was always the danger that something might happen during the night that required Clare’s attention, but it had become a risk both women were prepared to take.

“What are you thinking about?” Clare asked as she spooned closer to Loretta and draped an arm over her.“How good you feel against me. How much I crave your touch.”

Clare’s hand tightened slightly around Loretta’s waist, pulling her closer. “Close your eyes,” Clare whispered.

Loretta smiled when she felt Clare’s hand begin to roam over her body, teasing her nipples lightly and then moving on. “I’d much rather that was your mouth,” Loretta breathed.

Clare’s response was kisses along the back of Loretta’s neck and down her back while her hand caressed Loretta’s buttocks, kneading the soft skin.

Loretta pushed back against her, encouraging Clare’s hand to explore farther. Clare’s breathing grew heavier when she found the wet warmth between Loretta’s legs. Loretta groaned as the fingers teased her.“Does this hurt you?” Clare asked, stopping her movements.

“I wish I could see your face. The way you look at me takes my breath away.”

Clare rested her head against Loretta’s and said,

“I love you, Retta,” as her fingers slid slowly inside.

Loretta’s hips began to move, forcing Clare’s fingers deeper with each thrust. Loretta turned her head and buried it in her pillow to muffle the scream that erupted as she orgasmed. When her body began to settle down she rolled toward Clare and kissed her with all the passion she felt.

As the kiss ended, Clare brushed Loretta’s hair back from her face and gazed up at her tear-stained face. “I knew I would hurt you,” she said. “I’m sorry.”

Loretta caressed her face. “You didn’t hurt me. It was wonderful.”

“Then why the hell are you crying?”

“That was the first time you’ve said you loved me.

I never expected to hear that.”

“I wouldn’t be here with you, like this, if I didn’t love you, Retta. I guess I thought you knew.”

“I love you, too, Clare.”

“I see it in your eyes every time you look at me.”

“It’s still good to hear it.”

“I’ll say it more often then.”

“When we’re alone.”

“Then I can show you as well as tell you,” Clare said with a smile.

“I DON’T KNOW why I have to practically lynch myself just to go to a wedding,” Ino groused as he rode next to the buckboard Clare was driving.

“You look very dapper, Ino,” Loretta said. “Mavis will be impressed.”

“You think so?”

“I have no doubt.”

Clare rested her elbows on her knees, leaning forward as she held the reins to the team of horses.

“Clare looks quite attractive as well,” Loretta added.

“And you can both change into something more comfortable after the ceremony and reception.” She leaned closer to Clare and whispered, “That’s why I packed your work clothes in my valise.”

Loretta pulled the quilt over her lap tighter around her. Certain no one could see her gloved hand move onto Clare’s thigh and run dangerously close to Clare’s crotch.

“Thank you,” Clare muttered with a smile as Loretta giggled at her lover’s reaction.

Nearly an hour later Clare drew back the reins and jumped down to help Loretta off the buckboard.

“Are you all right?” Clare asked as she gently lowered Loretta to the ground.

“Just dandy,” Loretta said, rubbing her butt. “I think there were more potholes in the road this time.”

“It only seems that way in the winter because the ground is frozen,” Clare said with a smile. “Maybe you can borrow a pillow to sit on for the trip home. I can probably borrow one from Peg.”

Loretta cast her a nasty look and slapped her on the shoulder. “I’m sure Hettie or Amelia will have one.”

“That hurt, you know,” Clare said with a chuckle as she rubbed her arm.

“Serves you right. You’ll recover,” Loretta mumbled.

“While you get settled I’ll pull the buckboard around back and unhitch the team.”

Clare watched Ino shove a finger into his shirt collar and wiggle it around. “You gonna need the buckboard to pick up Mavis?” she asked.

“Thought I’d get a buggy from the livery. Easier to get in and out of.”

“Save me a seat in the church. Soon as Retta’s fixed up and ready to go, I’ll join you and Mavis.”

“You sure it’s all right if Mavis goes with me?”

“No one will start a fuss at a wedding. You staying with Mavis tonight?”

“Probably. I’ll see if this get up works like Retta says.”

“If you don’t show up for the wedding we’ll all know it worked,” Clare said with a laugh.

A TALL, OLDER man with bushy, reddish-orange muttonchop sideburns and small glasses perched near the end of his nose stood at the front of the church, rocking back and forth slightly on the balls of his feet.

His purple robe hung to the floor, a gold embroidered cross decorating the front of the garment as organ music filled the Presbyterian Church of Trinidad. His arms were folded across his chest cradling a large white
Bible.
The music, which had been playing as guests were seated in the sanctuary, stopped and the sound slowly echoed away.

“Please rise,” the man at the front intoned. Clare, Ino, and Mavis rose from their seats. Everyone turned their heads toward the back of the sanctuary as the music resumed. Between the heads of other guests, Clare saw Loretta standing at the entrance, a large bouquet of flowers clasped in her hands. Her eyes scanned the filled church and a smile spread across her lips when she saw Clare. Loretta took a step forward and made her way toward the front, pausing after each step. She had almost reached the front when a side door opened and Cyrus and his best man walked to the altar and stood to its right side. Clare thought Cyrus looked nervous. He fidgeted with his hands as Loretta smiled at him and took her place to the left of the altar. When she turned to face the rear of the church, the music paused before beginning a majestic sounding anthem Clare recognized as familiar organ music she had heard at weddings as a girl announced the arrival of the bride.

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