Walking in my room was surreal. I went to my bed and
smelled my pillow, and then to the closet and ran my hands over all
my clothes.
“So tell us about him? Liam, right? Tell us how wonderful he
is?” Lorraine gushed as she laid down on my bed. “I read about him
on the internet. He’s kinda a big deal in London, huh? It seems every
gossip magazine I looked through had some story about him dating a
model or actress. He’s quite the socialite!” Maggie was right behind
her and so was my mother.
“Lorraine! He hasn’t been in the tabloids or gossip magazines
since he and Norah got together! Actually...” Maggie looked over at
me. “I haven’t seen his picture anywhere at all since before the
summer.” The three of them sat all around my room waiting for me
to speak.
“Where’s Jim?” I asked.
“He went to go get some Chinese food for dinner, is that
okay? Or should we make tea and crumpets?” my mother smiled. It
was nice to see her so happy.
“No, I don’t even know what a crumpet is.”
“So tell us about him, I’ve been dying to hear all about him,”
Maggie begged. I sat down on the floor and brought my knees to my
chest.
“He’s…..he’s really wonderful. He is very good looking and his
voice is so amazing. Sometimes I ask him about things I know he will
go on and on about, just to hear him talk.” I laughed a little.
“What’s he like with you? How does he treat you?” my
mother asked.
“He treats me…..like a porcelain princess most of the time.
He is very thoughtful and kind.”
“He is always asking if I’m alright, or need anything. He makes
me feel comfortable. But he has this…..this caveman way about
him,” I laughed again.
“What do you mean, caveman? He drags you around by your
hair?” Lorraine sat up on her knees.
“No, he doesn’t do that. But there are times when he likes
me to be seen and not heard. He likes for me to meet him by the
door when he comes home from work, sometimes his word is final
and I shouldn’t argue with him,” I paused and looked down at my
hands.
“Sounds like he wants a wife from back in the 50’s to me,”
Maggie said.
“Most men are that way, sweetheart. They don’t like to have
a woman with a mouth on her. They want their women to do as
they’re told.”
“Just most men know in this day and age, they aren’t going to
find many women willing to do that.” My mother touched my hand
when she spoke. I looked up and smiled again.
“He really just wants me to be happy. He is always giving me
things, showing me things, or taking me somewhere he thinks will
make me smile. He tells me how much I mean to him all the time,
and how he doesn’t want to lose me.” I laughed. “He doesn’t
understand window shopping at all. I tell him I like something, or
stop to look at something, and he either buys it right then, or I find it
in my room the next day.”
“Well why would he? He has more money than God, right?
He doesn’t have to window shop, he can buy whatever he wants.”
Lorraine and my mother both looked at Maggie and she just
shrugged her shoulders.
“So why isn’t he here?” Lorraine asked. That was the
elephant in the room. I had told them we would be coming here
together. I was so excited for them to meet him.
I really thought him meeting my family would make me feel
like Liam’s and my relationship was normal, or could be normal. Now
I was here alone.
“Oh he had some business to take care of, so he won’t be
able to make it.” My voice was quiet and I didn’t look at any of them
when I said it.
“Did you break up?” Maggie asked.
“Maggie,” Lorraine and my mother said at the same time.
“Well when she was talking about him she seemed to get a
little emotional, and now he isn’t here, so I thought they might have
broken up.” I could feel the tears in my eyes.
“Oh, sweetie, are you okay?” my mother moved to the floor
and wrapped her arms around me. I started to sob uncontrollably.
“Shhh. It’s okay. You don’t have to tell us if you don’t want to,
Norah,” Lorraine took my hand.
“The summer fling was over, huh? And things got real, right?
Meeting the family was too much for him, so he sent you here
alone….sent you away. Men are assholes, Norah. They like their
young little play things, but when things get serious the game is over
and it’s on the next little play thing.” My mother always had a way of
making me feel like crap. I was never good enough, never pretty
enough, and certainly never smart enough. I had realized in High
School that sometimes my failures made her happy. She couldn’t
stand that I had met a gorgeous, rich man that loved me and wanted
me to move to another country to be with him. She couldn’t stand it
that I had whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it…all I had to do
was ask. I pulled away and stood up.
“Liam isn’t like that. Yes, we fought, and things are
complicated right now….but he loves me! He isn’t off looking for
another young play thing. You just can’t stand it that he loves me,
and makes me happy!” I walked out.
“Good one, Mom,” I heard Lorraine say as I ran down the
hall. I ran outside and almost right into Tiffany.
“Oh my goodness! Look at you! You look so different,
beautiful, amazing, this British man has done you well, my friend!” I
grabbed her and we hugged.
“It’s so good to see you, Tiff. Let’s get out of here,” I panted
and we turned back to her car. I didn’t speak for a while and she
could tell I was upset so she just let me look out the window. She
pulled into the parking lot of a dress store and I looked up. It was an
old store that sold formal dresses, but they were mostly out of date.
“You didn’t get our bridesmaid dresses from here, did you?” I
pointed to the shop. She laughed.
“Well it’s good to see you smile…..and no I didn’t. I just
thought we could have one of our try on sessions….and talk about
whatever it is that’s bothering you.” She touched my leg.
“Tiffany, your wedding is right around the corner, you don’t
need to bother with my problems,” I said and fidgeted with my
fingers.
“Oh I know. You can’t even imagine the pressure I am under
right now. I have an appointment with the travel agent tomorrow
morning, the final meeting with the caterer, and then I have to pick
up some of Jason’s family at the airport, just before the big family
dinner his family is putting together tomorrow night. Thursday, is the
ladies brunch, which you have to be there for, I might add, which
shouldn’t be so bad, because that’s when I will get all these special
family gifts from his family. They pass down things like silver brushes
their grandmothers, grandmother used when she arrived at Ellis
Island in 1918 or something crazy like that,” she laughed a little.
“Friday we have the bridesmaid final fitting at my house, which will
be your first and only fitting, and the rehearsal and then the
rehearsal dinner.” She took a breath but kept going.
“I have to check in with the flowers, the cake, and make sure
I have all the presents for our attendants. So I know I’m under a lot
of pressure.” She paused. “But I also haven’t seen my best friend in
the whole wide world in three and half months. She ran off to
England and started living with one of the beautiful people.” She
took my hand. “And right now, I can see she’s hurting, and needs
me….so here I am.”
We got out of the car and went inside. We spent over an
hour trying on the ugliest dresses we could find. We did it up right,
with shoes, hats and purses too. We walked around the shop and
strutted our horrible outfits. We posed in the mirrors and reenacted
scenes from ‘Steel Magnolias’. It was so much fun, and it made me
forget everything. It was exactly what I needed. We were sitting on
the floor laughing against the mirrors when I decided it was a perfect
moment to explain and apologize.
“Tiffany, I’m really sorry. I should have been there for you
these last months to help you, and I wasn’t……I really regret that.”
I lowered my head and took off my horrible feather, beaded,
and lace hat.
“Norah, its fine. Shelly has been a fine maid of honor, she’s
really helped me.” She took a breath. “I mean it would have been
nice to have you here, to share all these experiences with, but I
understand. You were off meeting your own prince charming. I get it.
When you find love you never want to lose it.”
I wanted to tell her it wasn’t because I didn’t want to lose
Liam, it was because I was locked in a room and he wouldn’t let me
leave. I wanted to tell her I had been kidnapped and trained to be a
sexual slave and I wouldn’t be here right now if Liam hadn’t bought
me. I wanted to tell her she was right not to come to Europe with
me, because she would have been sold too, and since she wasn’t a
virgin, there’s no way we would even be together now. But I didn’t. I
could never share these things with anyone.
I didn’t know what was happening between Liam and I, but
he certainly wouldn’t win any points with my friends and family if I
told them he bought me, locked me away, and hurt me when I didn’t
do what he wanted me to. The truth was, I didn’t even want to think
about it. Liam wasn’t the same person anymore. He had changed.
Being with me had changed him. He was still a prick sometimes
when he didn’t get his way, but I knew he was a good man that was
just into a lifestyle that seemed dark and cruel to people like me who
didn’t really understand it. He got caught up in something he
couldn’t control and didn’t know how to handle it. I couldn’t believe I
was actually defending him in my head.
“You needed your best friend here with you, though. I should
have stayed, and been a good friend to you, like you would have
been to me. I should have stayed and been here for you and the
twins….I should have never been there.” I leaned back against the
wall.
“Yes, but if you had never gone, then you wouldn’t have met
Liam, and you wouldn’t be completely in love and about to change
your life for him. I mean, you do love him, right?”
“I think so….I mean, yes…I know I love him…but it’s just so
complicated right now. Everything is so hard with him, there’s so
many rules and he wants everything a certain way, and sometimes
he can be such an ass.”
“Well I don’t know about the rules part, but the other stuff is
typical, Norah. Men are asses! That’s just the way they are, they
can’t help it. But I can say, if he loves you….even with all the stuff
you don’t like, you can make it work.” She paused and I thought
about it for a minute. “You just have to give him the bullet test. If he
would jump in front of a bullet for you, then the rest is normal.”
We left the shop and went to get some ice cream. It was
October but in Las Vegas it was still pretty warm.
It was so good to talk to her, and have someone who knew
me so well, understand my feelings. I couldn’t tell her the whole
truth of course but she still understood how I felt.
That night when I went home it was quiet. Everyone was
talking about other things, and no one addressed me directly, which
was fine. I ate quietly and went to my room. I wanted to call Liam so
bad. I wanted to hear his voice. It was after three in the morning in
London, but I knew he wouldn’t care if I called him. In my heart I
knew he wanted to hear my voice just as bad. But I just couldn’t do
it.
Over the next few days, I went to brunches, met with
caterers, got my nails done, my hair highlighted and trimmed. I
picked up Jason’s family at the airport and met with the flower
people, all instead of Tiffany. I tried to be the friend I should have
been all along, had I not been shackled in a basement. I spent time
with my family, her family, Jason’s family, and the bridal party. Jokes
were told, old stories were shared, and opinions were asked of me.
The whole time I just sat in a daze, and usually asked for the
question or joke to be repeated. I couldn’t stop thinking about Liam.
