Soldier's Choice (4 page)

“I’m already impressed. That was a lot of words.” She gave him a sweet smile. “You could just surrender now, if you want.”

“No way, lady. This is war.” With the ghost of a grin, he walked to the short side and took aim. At the solid ball six inches from the cue.

“Uh, Reese?” she said. “That one’s mine.”

“Not the one I’m aiming for.” He raised the end of the stick high and sawed it back and forth a few times, then struck hard and sharp.

The cue ball jumped the solid and knocked a stripe into the side pocket.

“Holy. Shit.” She stared at him. “Where did
you
learn to play like that?”

He shrugged. “Buddy of mine was a Vegas hustler before he enlisted. We had a pool table and lots of downtime.”

“Not even Gage can do that. And he’s a natural,” she said. “Can you show me? I mean…if you don’t mind sharing your secrets.”

“I don’t mind sharing with you.”

Oh, God. Had she imagined that husky note in his voice? His face gave away nothing as he approached her, but his eyes were brighter than they’d been all night. She had to remind herself to breathe.

He leaned his stick against the table and stood right behind her, so close she could feel the heat of his body. “Here,” he said, reaching around to take her hand and place it on the table. “Open-hand bridge. Keep it sturdy.”

She barely trusted herself to speak. The sensations rushing through her at his touch were like nothing she’d ever felt—deep and hot, sinking into her bones. “I’ll try,” she managed without much of a tremor.

“Hold the stick a little higher.” He slid her other hand up the cue stick, and she almost moaned aloud. “Loose grip. Right here.”

“Okay,” she whispered.

Once she had the stick in place, he let go and rested a hand lightly on her waist. “You want to raise the end up to about thirty degrees, maybe a little more.” He was definitely a little hoarse. “Then hit it hard, like you’re trying to put the stick right through the center of the ball.”

She nodded, took a deep breath. And went for it.

The cue ball jumped a good six inches.

“Oh! I did it!” she practically shrieked, laughing with delight. Maybe she hadn’t actually made a shot, but it still worked. She dropped the stick on the table and turned. “That was awesome! Thank you so…much,” she finished in a whisper.

He was so close. Less than an inch from pressing against her—and damn, how she wanted that right now. Friendship clause or not.

Reese smiled. “Do you want to get out of here? Go someplace less…public?”

“You read my mind.”

“Come on,” he said. “I’ll drive.”

She followed him out of the bar, ignoring her mind’s warning that she was about to make a huge, painful mistake. Because the rest of her didn’t care. She’d deal with the consequences later.

Right now there was only her and Reese, and five years of wanting exactly this.

* * * *

Part of Reese was horrified at his loss of control. But the part that wanted Luka clamored a hell of a lot louder.

As he parked his Jeep along the ridge overlooking Covendale, he told himself it didn’t have to be destructive. Lots of friends had casual sex. It was a healthy, human thing to do. They could enjoy themselves like adults, and he wouldn’t have to hurt her—the way he knew he could.

After all, his father’s blood ran through his veins.

Luke stared out the windshield, a faint smile on her face. “We came up here after that dance,” she said. “Remember?”

“Yes,” he said softly, surprised at how much the memory stung.

“The town seems so much bigger from here,” she said. “When you’re in it you only see the same places, the same faces. It’s like the most boring TV show in the world—all Covendale, all the time. But the view’s not so bad from the top.”

Reese shrugged. “Seems pretty small to me,” he said. “Small and safe.” At least now that the population had decreased by one retired gunnery sergeant.

“Oh.” Something in her face changed. “I guess you must’ve seen a lot more of the world than me,” she said. “What was it like? Did you…fight?”

“Yes.”

“Where were you?”

“Let’s not talk about this.”

She flinched a little, and he realized he’d sounded harsher than he meant. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just…it’s not easy to talk about.”

“I understand.”

No, you don’t.
At least he hadn’t said that out loud. He desperately wanted to have a conversation like a normal person, but he’d forgotten what normal felt like.

“Let’s try something else,” she said. “What have you been up to since you got back?”

Okay, this was easier. “I bought the house next to Mom and Georgia,” he said.

“The old Ward place?”

“Yeah. It needs work, so that’s been keeping me busy.” Which was exactly what he needed—to keep busy. “How about you?”

“Oh, you know. I’ve got my job, and my brothers.” The lines of her body stiffened. “So basically I’ve done nothing.”

“What about your painting? I thought…”

“That I’d be a famous artist?” She laughed bitterly. “I know what I am, Reese. Trailer trash doesn’t get to move up in the world. Even if they leave the trailer behind for a respectable house.”

“You’re not trash.”

This time she reacted to his barely concealed anger with a glare. “I’m a Dawson,” she said. “Ask anybody in town. They’ll tell you I’m trash.”

He grabbed her hand and leaned over the seat, looking directly into her eyes. “Don’t
ever
say that. Understand?”

And before she could respond, he kissed her.

Chapter 4

Luka had a tirade ready on the tip of her tongue. But suddenly, Reese’s mouth was in the way.

Between her anger and the kiss, there wasn’t even a competition. Firm lips, hot tongue, a hungry demand for more—she’d take that over anything else. Especially the
more
part. There was no denying she wanted all of him, no matter how hard she’d tried.

She tilted her head and deepened the kiss, felt him groan deep down in his throat. The vibration coursed through her like sparks. His tongue teased her, sliding and stroking, and she teased right back.

He eased away, and she said, “Back seat?”

“Got something better. Give me a minute.” He smiled, squeezed her hand, and darted out the driver’s side door.

A moment later, the hatchback opened. She turned to watch him fold the back seat down flat and spread a blanket out—and she couldn’t help poking him a little. “Are you always prepared for sex at a moment’s notice?” she said.

“No.” His eyes glittered under the dome light. “Just lucky this time.”

He slid out of sight, and reappeared opening her door. She took the hand he offered, twining her fingers through his and letting him lead her to the back of the Jeep. Everything inside her fluttered with anticipation.

She started to climb in, but he pulled her to him and wrapped an arm around her waist.  “I want this,” he said in rough tones. “I want
you
. But I need to know if you want it, too.”

“Yes,” she whispered. “More than anything.”

He responded with a growl, and claimed her mouth again.

She embraced him fully, losing herself in the kiss and the feel of his body against hers. His hands caressed her waist and slid down, leaving trails of warm shivers. Then he cupped her thighs and lifted her without breaking the kiss.

Nearly breathless, she wrapped her legs around him. The hard bulge of him pressed against her, and she felt her panties grow damp. He settled her on the edge of the makeshift bed and she scooted back, grabbing his shirt to urge him inside with her. “Don’t wait,” she said. “I’ve already waited five years.”

“I don’t plan to.”

He was over her, one hand sliding up her shirt. His fingers skimmed the sheer fabric of her bra, found a nipple and teased it hard. “My God, you’re beautiful,” he breathed. “I need to see all of you.” He pushed her shirt up and slipped it over her head, pulling it off as she raised her arms.

“Same here,” she said with a smile, and tugged at his t-shirt hem. “Off with the shirt.”

He obliged quickly, grinning at her as she sucked in a breath at the sight of his tanned, chiseled perfection. “I love the way you speak your mind,” he said.

“You know, normally I’d find that really sexy,” she said. “But can you just admire my body right now, and my mind later? It could really use the attention.”

“With pleasure.”

He tugged her pants off and slid out of his own, while she unclasped her bra and threw it aside. The sight of his hard cock had her wet with need, her inner thigh muscles twitching. “Oh, God, hurry,” she rasped. “Or I’m going to start without you.”

He lowered himself until he pressed against her, the tip of his hot length teasing the dampness between her legs. “I’d almost rather wait to see that,” he said in low tones. “But I need you too much.”

With that, he entered her in a single, long thrust.

She gasped. Her arms flew around him, her hands stroking his muscled back, urging him on as he pulled back and slowly rocked into her. The way he filled her was amazing—she could feel every throb and flutter, every ridge sliding against her most sensitive spots.

He drove deeper, and she clenched around him, drawing an animal cry from his throat. She responded with a shout of her own, lifting her hips to match his increasing thrusts. Heat coiled deep in her belly as the sweet friction pushed her higher.

Her breath quickened to shallow sips. Just as she knew the tension would split her open, he thrust hard and cried out her name, sending her into a blinding, shuddering climax that seemed to last forever.

With a brief shiver, Reese collapsed beside her, one leg thrown over both of hers. “You’re incredible,” he murmured, nuzzling her neck. “Thank you for that.”

She smiled, still trying to catch her breath. “For being incredible, or for the sex in general?”

“Both.”

“You’re welcome, then,” she said. “It was good for me, in case you’re wondering.”

He propped himself on an elbow and smoothed her hair from her face, with a touch as light as a feather. His eyes were dark with pleasure, but there was something sad in them too. Something that hurt to look at.

He gave a tentative smile, and half-whispered, “Still friends?”

At once, her warm glow vanished. She managed to keep her expression neutral while ice crept through her veins and headed for her heart. “Still friends,” she said, hoping she didn’t sound as flat as she felt.

She’d known this was going to hurt her somehow. But she didn’t expect it to happen this soon…or hurt so much.

Holding back a sigh, she sat up and started gathering her clothes. At least Reese was accommodating enough to move his leg, so she didn’t have to shove it off. “You can just take me back to The Klinker,” she said. “My car’s in the lot. I’ll drive home from there.”

“Luka, I didn’t mean—”

“Don’t.” She yanked her shirt on and glared at him. “You want to be friends? That’s fine. But we’re not going to be if you start making excuses, because I don’t want to hear them. So just leave it where it is now, all right?”

His expression tightened briefly, and went blank. “Got it.”

For a minute she almost relented. After all, she’d known this wasn’t even going to lead to a relationship, much less everlasting love. She wanted him, he wanted her. And the sex had been amazing.

But he could’ve waited to toss the friend card back on the table. For a few lousy minutes, he could’ve let her be more.

* * * *

On the way back, they spoke all of ten words to each other. Reese didn’t even try to say goodnight properly. He watched Luka get in her bright yellow car and drive away without looking back, and thought about heading into the bar to drink himself into oblivion.

But even that wouldn’t erase the pain.

Instead he went to the house—a place he wanted to call home, but couldn’t yet. For years, home had been the barracks, a tent, a transport with a tarp to cut the sun. Home had been his unit, wherever they were. But here, it was just him and the shadows.

And Luka’s face, hurt beyond words for just an instant before she made it disappear.

He headed for the basement, one of the three rooms he’d made reasonably livable so far. There, he stripped down to his shorts and put himself through a punishing workout. Pushups and sit-ups, crunches and pull-ups, until he could barely move and his mind stopped racing. He plodded upstairs and showered, then collapsed into bed.

An hour later, he was still wide awake.

He got up and dressed. Maybe a run would clear his head, let him stop thinking about how badly he wanted to be what Luka needed—and all the reasons he never could. He had darkness in him, a deep and violent streak that his training had only honed further. He couldn’t risk having it turn on her the way his father’s had turned on his mother, and him.

He’d made a mistake, giving in to desire tonight. From now on he’d have to stay away from her. It was the only way to avoid hurting her again.

The night was cooler now. A faint breeze blew, and the cold light of a thousand stars spattered the velvet-black sky. He decided to head back toward the ridge and the old running trails laid out at the base. The uneven terrain would wear him out faster, and there’d be no one around to explain himself to.

As he climbed into the Jeep, a glint of metal from the passenger side floor caught his eye. He leaned over and found a small beige clutch purse with a gold clasp. It had to be Luka’s.

Damn. So much for avoiding her completely.

He’d worry about getting it back to her in the morning. Everyone would be asleep by now, and he had a feeling that waking the Dawson boys after their little sister had come home upset would be a painful mistake. He probably couldn’t take all three of them.

For now, he’d run…and try to leave the ghosts behind.

Chapter 5

Luka came home to a quiet house, and got up to the same. It was unusual enough to worry her, until she went downstairs and found a note from Mark saying they’d gone to put in some time at the job site, trying to get ahead of things.