Some Kind of Perfect (Calloway Sisters #4.5) (79 page)

“Beckett, if we need to schedule another therapy—”

“I’m fine.” Beckett faces me. “It’s only my room.” He’s frightened we’ll forbid him from dancing.

So I have to say, “Need I remind you, I was in ballet classes all throughout prep school? It
breeds
perfectionism like this pretty little monster.”

Ballet is about perfect technique, perfect form, perfect timing. He can be OCD and be a ballet dancer. Connor even believes it’ll make him a better one, but if his health plummets, my claws will come out.

I’ll try to annihilate everything that hurts him.

Even ballet.

Beckett stands stick-straight. “I know, but I promise, it’s not any worse than it was.” His honesty rings truthful.

“My gremlin,” I say in a quieter tone. I reach out for his hand.

He takes hold, his eyes sad. “Will this be easier one day?”

I squeeze. “Yes.”

He squeezes back, and like fate has spoken, Pip-Squeak lands on Beckett’s shoulder. I’m about to chew out the bird, but then he begins singing happy birthday. To the wrong boy.

Beckett and I share a smile.

And he squeezes my hand again.

{
55 }

July 2027

Disneyland

California

LILY HALE

Before we split into three groups (at least one parent in each), we gave all of our children a stern talking to about our Disneyland adventure.

Rose:
“Remember the buddy-system. Do
not
wander off alone.” We all looked right at Charlie.

Daisy:
“Have fun!”

Me:
“Do not eat a hamburger before riding Gadget’s Go Coaster. Lo will second this.” I learned that the hard way.

Lo:
“She puked on her feet when she was ten.” All the kids laughed. “No talking to strangers.”

Ryke:
“And if you need anything, tell whichever fucking parent is with you.”

Connor:
“Use your brains. You all have them.”

I’m not so worried about their safety. We have an incredible team of bodyguards with us, some of which are
very
familiar with Disneyland, so we opted for this park instead of Disney World. We’ve even been taking secret tunnels to avoid tons of attention, but it doesn’t eliminate it all. I just hope our kids can experience the magic of the park the way that Lo and I did when we were younger.

But it’s definitely different growing up famous.

“Oh my God, there’s Xander Hale!” someone screams.

“Lily Calloway!”

“XANDER!”

Splash Mountain in front of us, my four-year-old boy hugs my leg in a death-grip. Hiding. It’s loud. Not just with people calling our names but with the general park chatter and excited squeals as the log ride descends the watery mountain. We’re not in line for Splash Mountain, but we’re waiting for the big kids with Ryke and Lo to ride down.

My bodyguard stands very close, blocking people from approaching.

“XANDER!!!”

I lift Xander in my arms. At four, he’s starting to be really heavy for me. Then he buries his face in my shoulder, and I think,
I can carry him for light years! My arms are steel. I am titanium.

I hold him tighter. “You’re okay. I’m right here.” We never put Xander on the docu-series. It’d just terrify him more. We also hoped he’d be in the media less, but
Celebrity Crush
has started running articles about Xander’s physical appearance.

[PHOTOS] Xander Hale: Most Photogenic Baby!

Xander Hale: Future Model

10 Reasons Why Xander Hale is Cutest Baby on Earth!!

Luna spotted that
Celebrity Crush
headline in a grocery checkout and said it was inaccurate. Xander is from planet Thebula 2.

I’m biased, but I can see why they’d peg him as photogenic. His intense, bold amber eyes contain more emotion than most. If we were all on Animal Planet, he’d be the cuddly cub that mesmerizes the viewer by sheer expressiveness.

He’s captivating when he doesn’t mean to be, and I try my best to make him comfortable so he won’t miss out on the magic. He was supposed to be in the second group of kids with Eliot, Luna, Tom, and Ben, but he wouldn’t release his death-grip on me.

I selfishly love having someone hug me this tight. I hug right back and try to ignore the ache in my arms.
Steel arms, stay with me.

Xander is slipping.

SOS!!

I adjust him and pant a little. His gray tank, a
Star Wars
logo across, bunches up towards his belly button. I somehow maneuver him to my left side and then tug down the hem to his jean shorts.

I could pat myself on the back if my arms weren’t so busy.

When Xander peeks from my shoulder, I take full advantage of the opportunity. I ask him over the surrounding noises, “Are you hungry?” He was painfully shy this morning at breakfast. He hardly ate his strawberry waffle, and as a former shy child, I can relate to letting my food go to waste but still wanting to eat.

Xander nods.

“Me too.” I set him down, my wimpy arm muscles throbbing and shrieking in thanks.
I crouch next to Xander and dig in Ryke’s backpack. I stuffed all my snacks in the front pocket. Gold Fish, a few smashed Ding Dongs—ah-ha! I snatch the plastic baggie of cheese puffs.

He takes a handful, then I do, and we both eat cheese puffs together. We’re on the lookout for Moffy on the log ride, and Xander pays more attention to Splash Mountain and his snack than the cacophony around him.

I can only smile.
Parenting success.

“Did you see me?!” Moffy jubilantly rushes up to us, combing a hand through his dark brown hair. He just turned twelve last week. I hone in on his orange
The Fourth Degree
shirt, slightly
wet
. Oh shit. I missed him descending Splash Mountain.

Parenting fail.

I make up a half-truth. “A little bit. It was hard to see.”

“It was so awesome!” Moffy explains the thrill of the ride, especially to Xander who’s too young to go on it. By the end, I realize that Moffy is the only one here—besides his bodyguard Declan.

“Where’s everyone else?”

“They’re coming. We got on an earlier boat.” He squats to his little brother’s height, and Xander shares a cheese puff with him. Moffy crunches on it and asks, “I saw Goofy walk past, you want to go take a picture with me?”

Xander’s gaze drops and he shakes his head.

“What about an autograph?” Moffy wonders, knowing how his brother dislikes photos. He even finds ways to hide behind his older siblings in group pictures.

Xander wavers, unsure. He hasn’t clung onto me since I whipped out the snack food, so this is good progress.

“Come on, Summers,” Moffy says with an easy smile. “You have to fill up that autograph book. What happens if Ben has more than you, huh? You can’t let that happen.”

Summers.

Every time Moffy calls him that, my chest swells with love. He’s the only one who uses that nickname with Xander, since his namesake is Alexander Summers.

His soulful amber eyes rise up to Moffy. “Will you stay with me?”

“I’m your sidekick, Summers. I wouldn’t leave you for the world.” Moffy extends his hand.

Xander grabs hold, and they both stand together.

“Can I take him alone?” Moffy asks me. “I mean with Declan and Xander’s bodyguard. But…”
Not with me.
Before an incoming arrow pierces my heart, I remind myself that I bring attention wherever I go. He’ll have an easier time avoiding crowds without me, and I like that Moffy wants to hang out with his little brother.

Hesitating, I teeter from one foot to the other like I have to pee. Moffy may be twelve now, but Xander is only four. What if something happens? This seems like a decision Lo and I should both make together.

“Maybe you should wait…” I trail off, seeing Lo in the distance with the older kids and Ryke, all a little wet from the ride. For probably the eleventh time today, I count heads quickly.

Sullivan.

Beckett.

Jane.

Where’s Charlie?

I crane my neck. I lean sideways. My pulse begins to quicken, and that’s when both Ryke and Lo start frenziedly scanning the area around them. Realizing Charlie isn’t with the group.

“Charlie?!” Ryke shouts, drawing more attention to us.

I wait for the nine-year-old to pop out from behind a bench or a cluster of Mickey-shaped balloons. Nothing happens. I see phones pointed at us. I hear people call
our
names, but I don’t spot the oldest Cobalt boy.

Xander hides behind Moffy’s legs.

My bodyguard contacts the fleet with his earpiece. “We’re missing one.”

We’re missing one.

We just lost my sister’s child.

{
56 }

July 2027

Disneyland

California

LOREN HALE

With my cell gripped tight against my ear, I stand in the middle of the park’s offices. Ryke and Lily talk to the park coordinators in a backroom, and at the front, Jane, Sullivan, Beckett, Moffy, and Xander sit on plastic chairs by the wall.

“He wandered off,” I say, practically hysterical over the fucking phone. “I don’t know where the hell he could be, Connor. He won’t answer when we call.”

This isn’t the first time Charlie Keating Cobalt strayed from the pack, but it’s the first time in goddamn Disneyland. I overheard his
very
long conversation with his parents before we arrived, and the general gist was to stay with the motherfucking group.

I run my hand across my neck. It’ll be my fault if something happens to Charlie. I’m
the one who convinced him to ride Splash Mountain when all he really wanted was to chill at the hotel.

“Lo, calm down,” Connor says, his voice serene.

My face sharpens. “Are you serious? You’re telling
me
to calm down? How are
you
calm right now?”

“Because I know and understand my son. He most likely found the ride pointless, and he might’ve slipped out at the last minute. He’s either at the hotel or he’ll find you.”

He’ll find
me?
“He’s
nine
, Connor.” I exhale a jagged breath. “You’re supposed to be the smart one.”

“His age is meaningless, and I am the smart one, which means my opinion holds the most weight.” He whispers to someone else, voices muffled, and then he focuses on our call again. “Lo?”

“Still here,” I snap. “Is Rose on her way to the hotel?”

“Yes. Call me if he finds you.” He says it like there’s
no way
I’ll locate Charlie before he locates me. After his reasoning sinks in, I no longer argue. Charlie is intelligent, maybe a notch below his father, and if anyone knows that boy, it’s Connor Cobalt.

“Are you looking for him?” I ask.

“I have my bodyguards working with security, and I’m working on tracing his phone.” It’d be easier if Garrison were here. He’s good with electronics, but for the whole month, he went to London with Willow and their daughter. “But I choose not to panic.”

“Rose doesn’t carry the same philosophy.” Lily said her older sister turned into Xena: Warrior Princess over the phone, throwing out things like
battalions, combat, blades
and
death.

“Neither do you,” Connor says easily. “Neither does Ryke. I believe there’s a name for this.” I hear the smile in his voice.

Hot-Tempered Triad
.

That’s the damn name.

I let out a deep breath, my shoulders relaxed. Connor eases the alarm in my gut. He’s always
been able to make uncomfortable situations more comfortable with just his voice and some words. Our lives would be drastically more difficult without him.

After we hang up, I think about what happened. I think about the future where we’re not around the kids while they go to high school—while they go to college. I think about this, and I storm towards the row of older children.

Sulli and Beckett sit on the carpet, doing crunches side-by-side in quick spurts. No one counts. They’re not competing against one another. These crazy nine-year-olds think training for swimming and ballet is
fun.
And we’re at
Disneyland.

My face scrunches like they’re from another planet. I can’t even comment because I’ve seen it all before. Push-ups, pull-ups, sit-ups at random hours and random places—I’ve seen it from my own brother.

It’s a different breed of person.

It’s not me.

Jane drew a tic-tac-toe board on her hand and plays with Moffy and Xander, but my oldest son registers my looming presence, features serrated like a knife. He lowers the blue magic marker, not nervous or scared. I’m not trying to frighten Moffy.