Sometimes Never (19 page)

~***~

              I went to the cafeteria yesterday. Mason sat at Bailey Grove’s table with Annie and the other cheerleaders. I wasn’t exactly jealous. I was just—jealous. Dear Buddha, I was so ridiculously jealous and I had no idea how to handle it.

I still don’t. All I do know is that I miss him
, and I can’t stop thinking about him. Guy’s talking to Park again like nothing ever happened. Maybe I should take a cue from him.

Maybe.

Like yesterday, Biology is filled with playful flirting. He makes it way too difficult to concentrate in this class.

The bell finally rings and I put my thing
s in my backpack. Mason does the same before looking back at me. “Can I sit with you at lunch?” He says it carefully, like he’s afraid of spooking me.

             
“Abandoning your pom-poms already?” He quirks a brow and I laugh. “It’s your table too.”

             
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me there since I told you I’d move.”

             
I shoulder my bag. “I want you there.” He smiles at me, but it falls as his eyes lower to my lips.

             
I usher us into the hallway and head toward my locker. Mason follows, stopping beside me as I dump what I can. “Are we all right?”

             
My hand pauses on my Algebra book. “Yeah,” I say. “Pretty much. But I swear to whatever god you believe in, if you ever use your superior strength on me again, I will cut off your nuts.” His eyebrows rise, hiding under his hair. “And I obviously don’t want you to tell anybody about, you know, the thing.” I shake my head and sigh. “Not that that means anything. Park wasn’t supposed to tell and we know how that ended.”

             
“I’m not Park,” Mason says firmly. “I won’t do that shit to you. And I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to use my super strength against you.”

             
“Superior strength,” I correct.

             
“Potato, patato.” He grins at me for a second before getting serious again. “I wouldn’t ever hurt you. Not physically and not on purpose. I need you to know that. You can trust me.”

             
“I want to,” I say. I want to so badly.

             
He smiles and that urge to kiss him is back and it’s strong. The bell rings, but I’m motionless, caught in his gaze. Mason knows my secret. He knows one of worst things about me and he’s still here.

             
I slip my hand behind his neck and pull him into me. He leans in easily and our lips meet. I nearly sigh into his mouth. It feels so good. He presses against me gently, a soft murmur sounding in his throat. I drop whatever book I was holding and grip him with both hands, arching my body into his.

             
“Mm. Hope,” he utters against my mouth. I pull back and look at him, gasping for air. “I really like the way you forgive me. We don’t need to go to lunch. Do we?”

             
I touch my fingertips to my lips. “I don’t need to eat,” I say softly. Mason leans slowly toward me again.

             
“Mason.” He and I both flinch at the intrusive voice. “Are you going to sit with us today?” Bailey Grove. Ugh. I hate the way she says his name and the way she looks at him. Like he’s her property. Bailey is the embodiment of evil, popular cheerleader. I don’t know how Annie can stand her. She’s hated me from the moment I started school here. The feeling is mutual, but only because she decided I was the equivalent of gum stuck to the bottom of her shoe.

             
Bailey flips her strawberry blonde hair over her shoulder and smiles up at Mason. I bend and pluck up my book, shoving it into my locker. I suddenly have an overwhelming desire to not be in the general vicinity.

             
“Uh, no, thanks,” Mason says slowly. “I’m sitting with Hope and Guy.”

             
Bailey’s eyes slide over to me as if just now noticing I’m here. She arches one thin brow and looks me up and down. “Oh.” Her nose scrunches up like she smells something bad and she blinks. Once. Twice. Three times.

             
I slam my locker door.

             
“Tomorrow, then,” she says, turning her devouring gaze on Mason.

             
He shakes his head, smiling apologetically. “They have me all week. Sorry. I’ll see you later.” He pulls me toward the cafeteria and I look back in time to catch the appalled expression on her face. I can’t help it, I laugh, which isn’t the smartest thing to do.

             
Bailey glares venomously at me. I stop walking and turn all the way around. Mason gives me a quizzical glance before following my line of sight. “Do you have something to say to me?” I ask.

             
“Nope,” Bailey says through her teeth. “I don’t associate with trash.” I glower back at her.
She did not just call me trash.

             
“Did you just call her trash?” Mason grinds out. He marches deliberately back to her. “People that sling insults are trash. I don’t know what made you such an ugly person, but trying to hurt people isn’t going to make you any prettier.”

             
“I am
not
ugly,” Bailey seethes.

             
“Oh, trust me. You are.”

             
“Fuck you, Mason! You don’t know me!”

             
He turns around and stalks away. “I’m lucky like that,” he throws over his shoulder. He pulls me along and all I can do is grin stupidly at him. Give the man another ten—no—twenty cool points.

             
“I really wish I could’ve met your dad,” I say. Some people might not be so quick to jump to another’s defense after their dad was killed for doing just that, but not him.

             
Mason tilts his head, eyebrows drawn together. “I do too.”

             
“You turned out to be a pretty amazing person.” He stops abruptly and hauls me into a hug.

             
“Jesus, Hope.” He squeezes me to the point I’m having trouble breathing. “
You’re
amazing. That girl is a stupid bitch. You know that, right?”

             
I laugh against his chest. “Yeah, I recognize a bitch when I see one.”

             
“Asshole,” Bailey spits as she glides past and all but rips the cafeteria doors off the hinges.

             
“You’re not an asshole,” I whisper.

             
“You’re not trash.”

             
“I’m sorry I said I hated you. I don’t. I actually like you a lot,” I confess.

             
“I know. I like you too. A lot.”

             
“I know.”

             
“I’m going to kiss you again.”

             
I smile. “I know.” And then he does.

~***~

              Lunch is almost back to normal. Park still doesn’t sit with us. He’s two tables over with some guys that attend our shows. We make eye contact as soon as I take my seat. And just like yesterday, I look away first because honestly, I can’t stomach to look at him. Shifting my body, I open my oatmeal cream pie and tear pieces off.

             
“Did you get me one?” Chase asks.

             
I pause, sucking cream off my thumb. “Um…”

             
Chase rolls his eyes dramatically, sighing loudly. “I always get one for you when I buy one for myself.
Always
.”

             
“I’m…sorry…? I didn’t know we had some agreement to purchase snack pies for each other,” I say exasperated.

             
“No, not an agreement. An
understanding
. Just like Guy always gets extra fries for you to steal, and Mason always feeds your candy habit, and Park always keeps you in chocolate milk. We get one another cream pies!”

             
“Cheese and rice, Chase. Fine! I will go get you a damn oatmeal freaking pie!” Mason and Guy laugh like this is the funniest thing ever.
Whatever
. I shove my chair back and stomp off to the lunch line. Again.
Freaking baby
. I grab the stupid pie, and then grab another one just in case. I don’t want to piss anyone else off who believes we have some sort of silent snack arrangement.

             
“You forgot Chase’s cream pie?” Park asks suddenly beside me. My body stills.

             
“Don’t talk to me,” I mutter.

             
“I’m sorry. I feel like shit,” he says anyway.

             
I whip around to face him. “You should. I can’t believe you did that to me. We were friends before we were... I never would betray you like that.” I turn away and move up in line.

             
“I know,” he sighs. “I’m a dick. If I could take it back, I would.”

             
“You can’t. That’s the thing. You put it out there and now it’s too late.” I stare down at my shoes. My lace is coming untied, part of it dragging on the floor. “I don’t think I can forgive you.”

             
“You broke my heart.” My head snaps up. He smiles at me sadly. “I cared about you. I
care
about you. I wanted to be with you, really be with you. And then Mason shows up and you start acting weird. Ignoring me. It’s no excuse, but when I saw him hugging you…” He rubs his hand over his face. “He was calming down your panic attack. I’ve never seen anyone do that, but Guy.
I
could never do that. It fucking killed me to see some douche bag you’ve known for an hour able to do that for you. I wanted to hurt him. I wanted to hurt you. So I said the only thing I knew would break you as much as you broke me.”

“I’m sorr
y I hurt you. I’m so sorry for that. I tried to make it clear from the beginning that I wasn’t ready for a serious relationship.” I close my eyes. “You were the only person that knew about me. The
only one
. You were special. Now I can’t stand you.”

Mason

             
“Not to sound like a complete jerk, but why does the majority of the female population at school dislike you so much?” I ask Hope as I drop beside her on the couch. It’s something I picked up on my first day and has become more apparent now that she’s been back from her suspension. Girls steer clear of her for some reason. And when they have to be around her, they treat her as if she isn’t even there, or act bitchy like Bailey. I can’t fathom it because I’m completely drawn to her. She’s pretty, funny, and passionate about music. I don’t get it.

             
She shrugs. “I don’t have a clue. They just always have.”

             
Guy hands us Popsicles and falls beside me. “That’s because all the girls know their dickhead, jock boyfriends are thinking about you while they’re with them.” He slides the orange Popsicle into his mouth and wiggles his brows.

             
“You’re disgusting,” Hope groans.

             
“Yeah, I don’t want to hear that shit,” I state dryly. God I hope that isn’t true. I know she isn’t my girlfriend, but I’d like her to be. Besides, she is a girl and she is my friend. I just don’t want guys thinking about her like that. “What I don’t get is how they all seem to like Annie, and Annie likes you. So why don’t they? Girls like that usually follow the leader.”

             
“Honestly?” Hope blows at the hair in her face. “I don’t care. I don’t like them either, so it’s all good.”

             
“I told you why,” Guy says. He licks dripping juice from his knuckle. “They’re jealous.”

             
“Yeah, of my rainbow hair, bad grades, and lack of friends.”

             
“No, smartass,” Guy sighs. He sits up and jabs his frozen orange treat at Hope. “They are jealous that you draw the attention of every guy at our school, including the jock assholes that date the cheerleaders and act like you’re a freak. All the straight dudes think you’re hot. I should know, they tell me all the time.” He rolls his eyes. “‘Hey, Guy, how can you be gay when you live with that?’ Or my favorite, ‘You should give Hope a try. If anyone can turn you straight, it’d be her.’” He licks the Popsicle before pointing it at her again. “That came from Christian Dunkin right before he proceeded to ask me where my dress was. Like I’d wear a stupid ass dress. I’m gay, not a cross dresser.” He leans back and continues to eat pensively.

             
Hope laughs quietly. “Was that before or after I kicked him in the testicles?”