Sometimes Never (23 page)

             
This is real.

             
“I’m so sorry that happened to you,” I whisper.

             
With a broken sob, Hope twines her arms around my neck. She claws at me in her attempt to secure her body to mine. My chest aches as my heart drums with a mix of sadness and bittersweet relief. I can feel her racing pulse against my flesh, matching my own.

             
“It’ll be all right. You can trust me. I won’t hurt you. I won’t let anyone ever hurt you again.”

             
I feel her nod as her tears run down my neck. “I do. I trust you. I...I—need... Mason.” I don’t know what she’s trying to say, but I can feel her struggle to get it out. “I love Skittles.”

26

Hope

While we wait for Kellin, Mason tells me about the different places he’s lived. Eight different schools in five years. Nine homes. Four states—Illinois, Indiana, Michigan, and Ohio. Sixteen “girlfriends,” he
thinks
. Six part time jobs ranging from a weekend dishwasher to working concession at a movie theater. The way he talks, with a distant look and small frown, it sounds like he wants to settle somewhere permanently. But it sounds nice to me. Getting a fresh start, seeing new places. I’d love to do that. My mom and I moved around a lot, but always within the same twenty mile radius in Ohio.

             
“Where was your favorite place?” I ask.

             
“Home. Illinois. I had friends there. I went to the same schools my dad did. We lived a block from the house he grew up in. That’s why Mom wanted to move. Everything reminded her of him. She couldn’t stand it, but she didn’t realize how much I needed those reminders. Kel doesn’t even remember most of those places. They were a part of Dad and he’ll never know them.”

             
“Maybe you can take him sometime,” I suggest softly.

             
“Yeah. I’ve thought about it. I planned to move back when I turned eighteen and he could visit, but I couldn’t leave them. They’re the only family I have left.” I understand that. I don’t have any family unless you consider my absentee father, which I don’t. If I had someone, I wouldn’t be able to leave them.

             
“What are your plans for after graduation?”

             
He glances out the window staring at the kids pouring out of the school. “I don’t know. I stopped applying to colleges because we kept moving. Probably just go somewhere close while Kel’s in school. Pick up a job that’ll work around my schedule. Dad had a life insurance policy, nothing big, but Mom took what was left after the funeral and split it up between me and Kellin. It’s more than enough to cover community college. If Mom hadn’t kept it in trust until I turned eighteen, I probably would’ve wasted it on a car by now.” He turns to regard me. “What about you? Any big plans after you graduate?”

             
“I wanna go to school. I don’t wanna end up like my mom. But my grades aren’t good enough to go anywhere, so I’ll do the community college thing too. I have no idea what I wanna be when I grow up, though.” I flash a smile.

             
“You don’t wanna do something with music?”

             
“I don’t know. Maybe? I love music, I just don’t know if I want to
have
to do it. Don’t read into this, but I kind of like kids, so if I could do something with kids and music, that’d be cool. I’m pretty much a C student, though. I don’t know if I’d make a very good teacher.”

              “You wouldn’t necessarily have to work at a school. You could do something like musical therapy maybe.”

             
“If I could help kids with emotional issues by using music, I think that’d be my dream job.”

             
“I think you’d be good at it. Kids and music.”

“Guy and Chase count on the band making it big
. I don’t even know if there still is a band now with Park and everything. I don’t want to rely on it. And I don’t want to do it forever. I need to find a real job, and soon. Alec and Jenny get money from the state for fostering me. Once I turn eighteen, they’ll lose that money. I can’t be a burden.”

             
“When’s that? Your birthday?”

             
“Not ‘til November, but I’d like to have something more saved than the ninety-four dollars in my dresser.”

             
“November what?”

             
I raise a brow. “Tenth.” He nods at the steering wheel.

             
Kellin stops outside the car with the raise of his eyebrows. The gesture is so Mason, I smile. “What’s going on?” he asks. “Where’s Mom’s car?”

             
“At school,” Mason explains. “We’ll pick it up on the way.”

             
I wait for Kellin to get in the back before I shift in the seat. “How was school, Little Man?”

             
He buckles his seatbelt and grins at me. “I got my schedule changed. I have lunch and a free period with Misty now.”

             
I arch my brow and give him a knowing nod. “Did you ask her yet?”

             
“Ask her what?” Mason inquires as he pulls onto the street.

             
“No. Not yet,” Kellin says slowly. His cheeks turn pink and he fumbles the zipper on his backpack.

             
“Why not?” I ask.

             
Kellin shrugs his thin shoulders. “What if she says no?”

             
Oh. Boys can be clueless. “What if she says no to what?” Mason grunts, obviously irritated that he doesn’t know what we’re talking about. “And can you put your seatbelt back on, please?”

             
I flop onto the seat and buckle up. “She won’t say no, Kel. I promise.”

             
“Say no to what?” Mason hisses.

             
“How do you know?” Kellin asks.

             
With a look in Mason’s direction I say, “He wants to ask her out. You know,
like
a boyfriend.” My lips curl up in an evil smile, teasing him before I glance into the backseat. “And I know because I’m a girl and I see the way she looks at you. It’s pretty much the same way you look at her.”

             
“How do I look at her?”

             
Mason laughs. “Like you’re a starving dog and she’s wearing a skirt made of meat.” Kellin’s face morphs into a brighter shade of pink, but he laughs as well.

             
“Like your teacher just assigned a pop quiz and Misty has all the answers tattooed on her face,” I add.

             
“Like you’ve been in the desert for a week and she’s a bottle of ice cold water,” Mason continues.

             
Kellin grins at Mason in the rearview mirror. “Like you look at Hope?”

             
I feel my face heat up now. Mason’s eyes dart from the mirror to me and back again. “Yeah, exactly like that,” he says. “Damn, Kel. You’ve got it bad.”

             
Kellin leans into the seat and sighs. “I know.”

             
I clear my throat and smile at him encouragingly. “Just ask her. She likes you. After you leave every day, all she does is talk about you. It’s annoying, really. And just imagine, dating an older woman. You’ll be a legend.”

             
Mason quirks his brow at me. “A legend?”

             
I shrug. I don’t know. “It sounded good.
”

            
 
“If you like the girl half as much as I think you do then tell her,” Mason instructs his brother. “If she turns you down, which I don’t think will happen, then at least you’ll know where you stand. And if she does what I expect she’ll do and says yes, well, then that’ll be awesome. Right?”

             
“But how do I tell her?”

             
“When you think about her, what comes to mind?” Mason asks.

             
Kellin considers this for a moment. A small smile forms and he lets out his breath slowly. “She smells good. Like cookies or cake or something.”

             
“Vanilla,” I offer. “I got it for her for Christmas last year.”

             
“Yeah, that’s it. When we play basketball, her sweat mixes with the vanilla. I try to steal the ball just so I can smell her. And her hair’s soft. Her ponytail rubs against my arm sometimes and I wanna run my fingers through it.”

             
Mason clears his throat. “You can start by telling her that,” he says. “Maybe not as detailed, but soft hair and smelling nice is good. What else?” I notice he has this expression on his face that I can’t interpret. But Kellin goes on, pulling my focus away.

             
“She’s smart. She helps me with my homework. She’s really nice. And she does this thing when she’s thinking, where she sucks on the corner of her lip. It makes me wanna—” He stops abruptly. His cheeks are bright red now and I stifle a laugh.

             
Damn
. Kellin wants to make out with Misty. I turn my head slowly and meet Mason’s eyes. He doesn’t bother to hide his amusement.

             
“Let’s stick with asking her out for now,” he suggests.

~***~

             
Annie lies back in her bed and checks the alarm on the nightstand. “What’s going on with you and Mason Patel? Did you break up with Park for good?”

             
“Uh, yeah. Park and I are done. Mason and I… He’s my boyfriend.” The word sounds strange coming from my mouth.

             
“Really? Like, officially?” I nod and she returns the gesture. “He’s hot as hell. ‘Course, so is Park. Everybody’s talking about it at school. Half my friends hate you for breaking Park’s heart after keeping him off the market for so long. The other half hates you for taking Mason.”

             
“What’s new? You’re friends have always hated me,” I mutter.

             
“Yeah, but before they hated you because they wanted a piece of Park and you had dibs on his ownership papers. Now they have twice the ammunition.” She examines a bottle of nail polish I left on the stand. “Can I borrow this?”

             
I nod dismissively. “What do you mean? First of all, I was never
with Park
, but besides that fact that nobody can seem to accept, we’re done. He’s free to date whoever he wants.” The idea of Park with another girl causes a slight twinge in my stomach. For the past year he showed no interest in anyone but me. I don’t know how I’ll feel seeing his arms around someone else. I think of Mason and that helps relieve my panic, but I recognize the dull pain burning in my chest, marking the end of whatever it was Park and I had.

             
“Rumor has it, Park is holding out.”

             
“Holding out for what?” I ask, confused.

             
She looks at me incredulously. “He’s waiting on you, Hope. Your whole ‘no commitment’ thing?” She bunny ears her words. “He doesn’t think this thing with Mason will last long.”

             
“He’s wrong,” I say, irritated. Huh. Did I just say that? Yes, and I meant it. I grab my cell phone off the charger and storm out of the room, heading outside so I’ll have some privacy.

             
Park picks up on the second ring. “Hope?”

             
“Yeah. We need to talk.”

             
“All right,” he says languidly. His voice is soft, low. “Talk.”

             
Taking a deep breath, I forge on. “I care about you and I don’t wanna hurt you.”

             
“I care about you too.”

             
“But,” I continue, ignoring him. “I am so mad at you for telling Guy and Mason about—
my vice
. We can never be what we were before. I’m with Mason now. I’m
with him
with him.”

             
The silence stretches out and I close my eyes.

             
“You’re with him?” He hisses the words into the phone and my eyes pop open.

             
“Yes. He’s my boyfriend.”

             
“Great. Congratulations. I need to go.”

             
“Park, wait,” I murmur.

             
“What, Hope? What?”

             
“I’m sorry.”