Songbird (13 page)

The now familiar sound of the Maserati engine pulling into the driveway made her jump.
He was here?

Her stomach knotted with anxiety. In part, she was relieved that he’d come back; it would give her a chance to apologize for the way she’d behaved. Maybe he’s come to apologize too, she hoped. But then she remembered the jacket and tie still draped over the chair in her living room. Of course. The efficient businessman wasn’t here to say he was sorry—he’d had his final say last night. He’d only returned to wrap up all the loose ends.

When she heard his knock, Desiree crossed the living room and flung open the door, determined to hold onto her anger and let him speak first. But on seeing him, her heart went into a skid.

In no way did he resemble an angry entrepreneur come to retrieve lost property. In his present, casual state of dress he looked more like a handsome Olympic athlete, and his expression as their eyes collided was apprehensive, hesitant, contrite.

“
Hi,” he said softly.

“
Hi.” The raspy, high-pitched response didn’t sound like her own voice. She couldn’t help but stare at him, transfixed, one hand glued to the doorknob.

He wore a navy-blue polo shirt, open at the neck. The short sleeves stretched over his well-formed biceps. His legs, long and lean beneath crisp white shorts, were braided with flexible-looking muscles and covered with the same curly dark hair that graced his arms and chest. In one hand he carried a small, white paper bag.

“
I’m glad you’re up,” he said. “I was afraid I’d wake you.”

“
Oh…no. I didn’t have to work too late. John arrived about half past two.” She noticed dark circles under his eyes and wondered if she had them, too.

Her pounding pulse told her how glad she was to see him. Suddenly, in her mind, they were no longer standing like statues in the doorway. They were back in each other’s arms last night and he was saying, “You know how I feel about you...I don’t want to hurt you, my darling. I only want to love you.”

She’d wanted him last night. She still did. If he’d said some cruel things in the heat of anger, it was partly her fault. She had provoked him.

She swallowed hard and glanced down at the paper bag he was holding. “What’s that?”

“
A peace offering.”

She took the bag he extended, reading his unspoken apology in his eyes. Her heart flinched when he quickly withdrew his hand as if afraid to touch her.

“
Croissants!” she cried with true delight when she looked inside.

“
Freshly baked this morning. Okay if I share one with you?”

She stood back and opened the door wide. “Of course.”

He stepped inside. “Should we put them in the oven to warm up?”

She nodded. He brushed past her to the kitchen and turned on the oven. She followed.

“
Would you like a cup of coffee?” she offered.

“
I’d love one. Thanks.”

They engaged in small talk at the tiny kitchen table as they sipped their coffee and ate the hot, buttery pastries. He made no further reference to their argument, and she felt too uncomfortable to bring it up. She wanted to reach out and touch his hand, to tell him how sorry she was. But he seemed a bit distant, reserved. Was he still angry with her? What was he thinking? Why had he come?

When he’d drained his cup, Kyle sat back in his chair and gave her a small smile. “So. Do you have any plans for today?”

“
Not really.”

“
Good. Because I’ve got a surprise for you.”

“A surprise?”

“
After last night—” He checked himself, frowning, then went on: “What we need is to get out and have some fun. And I’ve got it all arranged. I’m going to take you for a ride in the sky.”

A stab of alarm pierced through her. “What do you mean?”

“
I arranged to rent a plane from the Long Beach Pilots’ Club.” He grinned like a child who’d just gotten out of school for the summer. “I’m taking you to Catalina Island for the day.”

Seven

“
Catalina Island?” Desiree’s eyes widened in dismay. She’d almost forgotten he had a pilot’s license, that he liked to fly. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

“
Why would I be kidding?” Kyle asked.

“
Because I told you, I don’t like to fly. Commercial flights are one thing, but I won’t go up in a small plane.”

“
Desiree: you’ll love it. I promise.” He leaned forward, his elbows on the table, his face eager with excitement. “It’s a thrill you can’t even imagine until you’ve experienced it.”

“
Maybe for you. But not for me.”

“
You’ll never know if you don’t give it a chance.”

“
I don’t want to fly to Catalina. I’ve read about the airport there. It’s dangerous—it’s on a high, remote hilltop with a precipitous drop-off. They have a lot of accidents.”

“
Don’t exaggerate. They have more accidents on L.A. freeways in one day than Catalina Airport sees in ten years. Airplane crashes just make the front pages, that’s all.”

“
Maybe. But still—I read that some pilots compare the Catalina Airport to landing on an aircraft carrier.” She shuddered. “Too risky for my blood.”

“
Everything we do involves a risk of some kind,” he returned softly. “What’s the point in living if you never venture out into new territory, never take any chances? You might as well be dead.”

She took a sharp breath but didn’t reply.

“
Look, there’s nothing to worry about.” He gestured with an open palm. “I’ve been flying for thirteen years. I know what I’m doing. The weather is perfect today. And I’ve made this flight before.”

“
I’m sorry. If you want to go to Catalina, that’s fine, but let’s take a boat. I don’t want to fly.”

He heaved a sigh, struggling visibly to keep his patience. “The cruises to Catalina are all sold out today—I already checked. We can fly there in fifteen minutes. I’ve been on the phone since six this morning setting this thing up. I had to pull a few strings to get the plane I wanted. I understand your concerns, and I know this is very short notice, but I made special arrangements on the island…I’ve got a whole day planned for us. I know you’ll love it. I don’t want to cancel it all now.”

She stood and took a few steps away. “I’m sorry you went to so much trouble. For all I knew, you were back in Seattle by now. If you were going to make all these elaborate arrangements, you should have asked me first.”

“
Asked you first? How could I do that, after last night?” He took a deep breath, but it did little to calm him. “Anyway, this was supposed to be a surprise.”

“
I appreciate that,” she said sincerely, “and the thought behind it. But it doesn’t change how I feel.”

“
What is with you?” Kyle leaped to his feet. “Can’t you meet a new challenge for once in your life? You’re afraid to get involved with me. You’re afraid to go to bed with me. You’re afraid to ride in a plane. I’m surprised you have enough nerve to get in your car and drive to work every day.”

“
That’s not fair,” she said, irritation prickling through her. “My reasons for not getting involved with you have nothing to do with my fear of flying.”

He braced tense fingers on the tabletop. “Then why are you so afraid?”

“
Because my best friend was killed in a small plane crash! And I almost went with her that day!”

They stared at each other in silence across the table, his face frozen in shock.

After a moment, Desiree went on: “Her husband was the pilot. They’d only been married a few months. She was only twenty-five.”

A flicker of anguish shone in his eyes. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly.

“
Pam was like a sister to me.” Her voice cracked and she cleared her throat before continuing. “When I find myself feeling angry over what happened, when I think what a waste it was she died so young, at the same time I know how relieved I am that I didn’t go with them. And that makes me feel guilty as hell.”

In a few quick strides he circled the table and took her in his arms. “I’m sorry, Desiree. So sorry. I wish I could take back what I said. I wish I could take away the pain you must feel.”

She released a wavering breath as her arms wrapped around his back. The hot tears that welled up in her eyes were tears of relief, not sorrow. It felt good to be back in his arms again.

“
And I’m sorry about last night,” he added, his voice thick with emotion. “Sorry about everything. I said some ugly things, things I didn’t mean. I was frustrated out of my mind. I didn’t want to leave. I didn’t want to spend another minute without you.”

She tilted her head back and met his tortured gaze. “It wasn’t your fault, it was mine. I feel terrible about the things I said. I’m so, so sorry. Can you forgive me?”

“
I already have. You had every right to react the way you did. Things have been moving at light speed between us. I’ve been all over you from the moment we met. I can only say again: I’m sorry. I’ve never felt or acted this way with a woman before—I don’t know what it is about you, or about me when I’m around you—but I promise I’ll be different from here on out. I won’t try to persuade you to do something you’re not ready for.” He gave her a quick squeeze, then released her. “Okay?”

She smiled weakly, drying her tears as he stepped away, an irrational sense of disappointment flooding her at the brevity of his embrace. “Okay. Thanks.”

“
That said,” he added, meeting her gaze, “I’ll call and cancel my plans for Catalina today. Tell me what
you’d
like to do instead.”

***

The large white bird stood at attention on the parking strip, wings spread high and wide. Turquoise racing stripes were splashed across the body, nose, and tail, and sunlight gleamed off the wings. A friendly looking plane, Desiree decided, trying hard to ignore the tense knot of anxiety in her stomach.
Maybe this won’t be so bad after all...

Once Kyle had left the decision up to her—after all the trouble he’d gone to in arranging this— she’d felt bad turning him down. She’d decided he was right: what
was
the point in living, if you never ventured out into new territory, never took any chances? And as long as she’d agreed to do it, she was determined to show him what a good sport she could be.

He’d spent a good half hour going over the safety statistics at the Catalina Airport, and reassuring her that the weather was in their favor, the plane was practically new, and he had all the experience required to land there safely.

She leaned against the corrugated aluminum building that housed the Long Beach Pilots’ Club and watched Kyle as he checked over the plane, inside and out, in minute detail. There was certainly nothing glamorous about private flying. Unlike the sleek sophistication of a modem commercial airport, the Pilots’ Club consisted of one small, stark office and a plane-filled parking lot of cracked asphalt, surrounded by a chain-link fence. She had to admit, though: the idea of hopping into one of these small craft and simply taking off into the air, the way she might take off down the street in her car, filled her not only with trepidation, but with excitement and anticipation.

Kyle attached a small metal tow bar to the front of their plane and signaled her to join him. “We need to tow her out of the lot. Grab hold of the wing and pull.”

Not wanting to show her surprise, Desiree stepped nimbly up to the front of one wing and grabbed the edge with both hands. The rounded ridge of aluminum felt smooth and cool. As Kyle yanked on the tow bar she lunged backward and gave a mighty tug. To her astonishment the plane rolled forward almost effortlessly.

“
Okay, you can let go now,” Kyle called. “Just keep an eye on the wing tips. Make sure we’re clear of the other planes.”
No wonder they call it a light plane,
she thought as she watched Kyle tow the plane just past the parking area, her stomach re-knotting with apprehension. The thing seemed as flimsy as a child’s toy.

“
Let’s go!” Kyle called a few minutes later.

She ducked down under the wing and opened the cockpit door. “Are you sure this tin can will make it all the way to Catalina?” she asked, striving for a light tone.

“
Trust me.”

She smiled stiffly as she climbed up onto the smooth, leather seat and slammed the door. Settling back in her seat, she fastened her safety belt. Myriad gauges and switches, vaguely reminiscent of her console at the studio, covered the black panel before them. The cockpit was tiny, even smaller than the front section of a foreign compact car. Well, at least they’d be nice and cozy.

“
Do you always do such a thorough check before you take off?” she asked.

“
You bet. I’m not taking somebody else’s word that this baby’s fueled up and in flying condition. I want to see it with my own eyes.” He consulted a small handbook on his lap, flipped several switches, and leaned out his open window. “Clear!”

A man working on a nearby plane stepped back and waved. Kyle kicked over the starter and the engine sputtered to life. A voice on the radio began to spew out information like a moderator at an auction. She only caught a few intelligible numbers and phrases.

Kyle picked up the hand microphone. “Long Beach Ground, Cessna nine three six five Uniform, Long Beach Pilots. Taxi to two five left with information Echo.” After a moment’s pause the voice on the radio replied with instructions in the same peculiar language. Kyle hung up the mike and grinned. “Funny. Somehow I feel like you should be talking on this thing.”