Songbird (42 page)

The one thing that stood out in Maddy’s mind, more than anything else, was
how very much like his father he looked
. She prayed it was only in appearance and not in nature.

Suddenly, all the pent-up emotions broke loose and, turning away, she began to cry. When Brad’s comforting arm slid around her shoulders, she thought how fortunate she was to have such a good man, hopefully for the rest of her life.

Maddy had come here for one purpose and one purpose only. And that was to claim her son.

Now though, she was torn. She had seen the love these two had for each other. Her heart was like a lead weight inside her. Turning to Brad, she asked brokenly, “Will you wait for me, please?”

Having witnessed it all, he understood and nodded, and so she went from him, and as he watched her walk away, he saw a lonely, forlorn soul, and his heart reached out to her. Sadly, there was nothing he could do. This was for Maddy to decide.

She did not look back. Instead, she kept on walking. She climbed down the steps and wandered onto the beach, lost in her thoughts and filled with memories of happier times with herself and Ellen, and the child that was conceived with a monster, who had long wanted her dead.

With her gaze fixed to the horizon, she wended her way out across the beach and on toward the sea; and from the shoreline, Brad watched, desperate to go to her, yet knowing he must not.

As the gentle waves slapped over her shoes, at her feet, Maddy turned it all over in her mind; Ellen and the boy, and the way they had grown together, built and shared a life together. And while even through her illness, she had kept her son in her deepest heart, it was painfully obvious to Maddy that Ellen had wiped all traces of his real mother from Michael’s mind. To all intents and purposes he was now Ellen’s child, and he loved her, as she loved him. So now, if she was to take him away from the woman he knew as his mother, how would he react? And what would become of Ellen?

“Would Michael hate me, if I came between them now, after all these years?” Maddy stared up at the shifting skies, and hoped that some almighty power would guide her. But she felt nothing, except confusion and doubt.

“And if I left him here and walked away, how would I feel afterward?” she murmured. “Could I live with the knowledge that I had abandoned my own son yet again and worse… to a woman who had stolen him from me? More than that, can I ever forgive her?” Another thought occurred to her. “If I took him now, and he was desperately unhappy… the damage I had done might be irreversible. If I destroyed his peace of mind, could I ever forgive myself?”

A sense of ontrage shook her. “But it isn’t my fault!
She
was the one who did wrong!”

Raising her face to heaven, she called out in anger, almost as though justifying herself to some unseen person, “ELLEN BETRAYED ME. SHE BETRAYED US BOTH. SHE STOLE MY SON!”

But then she thought of
he
who was at the heart of all the pain, revenge and fear… and knew that the blame needed to be apportioned elsewhere.

From the shore, Brad had seen her stop and raise her arms, and though the wind carried her voice away, he realized she was grappling with herself as to what must be decided. “Do what you think is right, my darling,” he murmured. “That’s all you can do.”

Far off, Maddy paced up and down for what seemed an age. Then, when the air struck colder and the skies took on a frown, she made her way back, and as she came toward him, Brad saw the look of resolution in her face.

“It’s time now,” she said softly. “It’s time for us to go.” Her sad smile touched him deeply.

“Are you sure?” he whispered.

She merely nodded, and he understood. “You really are a remarkable woman,” he told her.

What she did next was also remarkable.

She went across the street to the news agents, to buy paper and an envelope, and right there, leaning on the promenade wall, she penned a letter to Ellen:

My dearest Ellen,
I came to take my son away from you, but I now realize that he left me long ago. He’s your son now. And if the day ever comes when he discovers the truth, tell him now, I could not have loved him more than you have done.
When he’s older, and a chance discovery might tell him of his past, please… show him this letter.
I so want to forgive you, but for now, you must be content with the knowledge that I leave my son in your hands, and you in his. Giving him up to you is so hard that I cannot contemplate forgiveness.
In time, I pray I will come to feel compassion toward you, and the forgiveness will surely follow.
Until then, be happy with this wonderful boy, and guide him well through his life. Sometimes I may be watching from a distance, and at other times, I will be far away. But I will think of you both always.
God bless, and be content.

She added a P.S.

You need to contact Nora. There is good news and bad. But in the end, the good may help you build a secure life for you — and our Michael.
Though you hurt me, Ellen, I can’t help but love you both with all my heart.
Maddy
XX

She crossed the road and, unseen, she entered the café, went straight to the counter and left the envelope, simply addressed to Ellen. On the way out, she was shocked to the core when Michael smiled on her. Yes, he had the look of Steve Drayton, but the kind, chestnut-brown eyes told her he was not his father’s son at all.

He was her son. And he always would be.

As Maddy and Brad walked back to their car, Ellen saw the envelope and, thinking it was a tip, she was about to thrust it into her apron pocket when she caught sight of the handwriting. It was familiar. Her heart gave a strange leap in her chest. She opened the envelope and read the letter. Then
“Maddy!”
She ran out to the road and looked up and down, calling MADDY… Maddy!” There was no sign of her old friend.

Returning to the café, she read and reread the letter, and when Michael came to ask what she was looking at, she quickly folded it up and put it in her handbag. “It’s a tip,” she told him, adding softly, “the most wonderful and generous I’m ever likely to get.”

She looked again up the road, hardly able to speak for the lump straddling her throat. “Thank you, Maddy,” she whispered. “From the bottom of my heart.”

As the tears ran down her face, she quickly turned away. After all, she would not want Michael asking difficult questions, would she?

A week later, after Maddy’s preliminary letter to Raymond, Brad took her to meet with him.

Waiting in the hotel foyer, in the little Cambridgeshire village, Maddy was like a bag of nerves. What would she say? How would she greet her old friend Alice, and had she forgiven her and Raymond for what they had done?

She didn’t know. She could not tell.

Yet when Raymond walked in the door, accompanied by Alice, it was as though the years fell away, and they were back there in the Pink Lady, laughing and talking, with Alice telling her she was “too skinny by half.”

When the two women saw each other, their eyes were moist with emotion. For a seemingly endless moment, they looked at each other each with tears rolling down their faces, soaking in the love and regrets, and slowly the emptiness that had been between them was no more.

Now Alice was close, her arms opened wide to take Maddy into her embrace.

Maddy stood up, hardly able to see for the tears that swam across her vision.

Then Alice held her fast. And the long, aching years were as nothing.

“You’re too skinny by half!” Alice complained. And Maddy laughed out loud.

She had her life back.

More than that, she had Brad.

And her joy was complete.

Huge love and acknowledgment to Chloe and Milly.
Two very special little girls.

Also to our two fine sons,
Spencer and Wayne,
and Jane.

Thank you all, for the joy you give me.

A major bestselling author in her native Great Britain,
JOSEPHINE COX’
s story is as extraordinary as anything in her books. At the age of sixteen, she met and married her husband, Ken, and had two sons. When her sons began school, Cox decided to go to college, eventually gaining a place at Cambridge University, which she was unable to accept. Becoming a teacher, she set about renovating a derelict council house as the family home, coping with the problems of her own mother’s unhappy home life while writing her first full length novel — all of which earned her a Superwoman of Great Britain Award after her family secretly entered her in the contest. Currently living in Bedfordshire, England, she gave up teaching to write full-time and is the author of nearly three dozen novels.

QUEENIE’S STORY

Her Father’s Sins
•
Let Loose the Tigers

THE EMMA GRADY TRILOGY

Outcast
•
Alley Urchin
•
Vagabonds

Angels Cry Sometimes
•
Take This Woman

Whistledown Woman
•
Don’t Cry Alone

Jessica’s Girl
•
Nobody’s Darling
•
Born to Serve

More than Riches
•
A Little Badness

Living a Lie
•
The Devil You Know
•
A Time for Us

Cradle of Thorns
•
Miss You Forever

Love Me or Leave Me
•
Tomorrow the World

The Gilded Cage
•
Somewhere, Someday

Rainbow Days
•
Looking Back
•
Let It Shine

The Woman Who Left
•
Jinnie

Bad Boy Jack
•
The Beachcomber

Lovers and Liars
•
Live the Dream

The Journey
•
Journey’s End
•
The Loner
•
Songbird