Sorority Sisters (20 page)

TWENTY-THREE

Stephanie stepped out of the shower and wrapped an oversized, plush towel around her body. She was finally over not having her four “roommates” there, and was beginning to enjoy the freedom of having her own place again. She no longer had to share closet space, and when she thought of what to wear, she didn’t have to worry about dressing like four other people. She would be an original.

After throwing on shorts and a tank top, she walked around her place to assess the damage from the wear and tear of having five girls living and working in a one-bedroom apartment. It was not in as bad a shape as she expected. However, there were bags and boxes in the living room corner that needed to be either picked up by her sands, or taken out to the trash bin. First thing Monday before class, she would call to get a maid service in to overhaul the place, and would try to find a nail salon for a pedicure and manicure. Her relaxer and facial would have to wait until Tuesday.

She drifted to how she and Sidney had always scheduled their pamper-ourselves days together. Stephanie had put it off long enough—she needed to sit down and call Sidney. While she was on line, their confrontation stayed in the back of her mind, not only because Sidney was supposed to pledge with her, but especially because of how badly they had talked to each other. Stephanie knew she had been selfish, and wanted to apologize to her in person and let her know that although she had acted harshly, she wanted somehow to be friends.

She walked over to the cordless phone to call, but was interrupted by a knock at the door. Who could this be? she wondered. She opened the door. It was Jeff. He stood there with red roses in his hand.

“Hey, baby doll, did you miss me?”

“No!” she answered honestly. She had completely forgotten about him, and was not elated to find him at her door.

“I heard that you finally crossed, so I got you flowers,” he said, handing her the roses, which would have been perfectly normal, but he had to stick his foot in his mouth as he always did. “I would have gotten you paraphernalia, but I couldn’t see myself going to a campus bookstore to pick out sorority nonsense. That’s not my style. You know what I mean?”

She was not surprised at those words coming from his mouth. She just shrugged and walked into the kitchen to get a vase for the flowers. He walked through the door and took a seat on her couch.

“I only have forty-five minutes to visit, so let’s go get a quickie in, and I’ll call you tomorrow for dinner or something,” he said boldly, as if what he said was law. “I know you miss me hitting your spot.”

Stephanie was disgusted, and wasn’t going to stand for his demanding and disrespectful attitude one second longer. She walked into the living room with the water-filled vase in her hands. “Jeff, I haven’t talked to you for nearly eight weeks, and I realize I like it that way. I’ve got a lot of things I need to take care of today.”

“Are you asking me to leave?”

“Yes, Jeff, as a matter of fact, I am.”

“Oh, so you’ve pledged your little sorority and now you don’t have time for me.”

“Basically,” she responded dryly.

“I’m going to give you a day or so to think about what you’re doing. After all, any woman would love to have a chance with me.”

“I’ve already thought about it, and we’re over, so please leave,” Stephanie said with a new strength and confidence. For the first time she didn’t need to depend on Jeff or any other man to feel secure. She knew who she was and she was proud of how she had turned out, despite her birth mother’s shortcomings.

“I guess that means the quickie’s out,” he joked.

“Listen, I have things to do,” she insisted.

He smirked and responded, “I’m not surprised you’re asking me to leave. You’re nothing but the daughter of a broke-down junkie—you wouldn’t know a good thing if it stared you in the face,” he said, as he stood up and looked down at her. “But you can’t help it, you were born that way.”

“Get the hell outta here, you bastard!” she yelled.

“I will, because I got a date in an hour anyway, and she’s a much better fuck,” he said nonchalantly, and turned to walk to the door.

Stephanie was furious. She couldn’t believe he had walked through her door and within minutes disrupted her peaceful afternoon. How dare he be so spiteful. Those words hurt and she was stunned. As he opened the door, she called his name.

“Jeff!”

“Yeah?” he turned around to face her.

Stephanie gripped the vase, and with all her might, hurled it forward. The water went all over his overpriced clothes, and his shoes were ruined. Before the stunned Jeff could react, she pushed him out, slammed the door, locked it, and fell against it in laughter. “Now you know how it feels to be fucked!” she yelled.

It took Stephanie a while to come off the high of drenching Jeff. She would never forget the look on his face. Her victory gave her the energy to call and try to mend things with Sidney. She picked up the phone and quickly dialed before she changed her mind.

“Hello!” Sidney answered.

“Hey, Sidney. How are you?” Stephanie asked. There was a mixture of concern and caution in her tone.

“Who is this?” Sidney asked. Although she knew it was Stephanie on the other end of the phone, she wanted her to think that it had been so long since they last spoke that she’d forgotten her voice.

“It’s Stephanie.”

“Oh, so what do you want?” she asked in a dry tone.

“I want to talk. I’m on my way over there.”

“Huh?”

“I’ll see you in a few minutes,” Stephanie said quickly, and hung up the phone. She didn’t want to give her a chance to say no.

Stephanie knocked on Sidney’s apartment door.

“It’s open,” Sidney yelled from inside.

Stephanie walked in. Sidney was in the kitchen cutting up celery and carrots. Stephanie didn’t immediately notice her weight gain. Sidney wore a floral-printed tent dress that fell midthigh. More concerned now with comfort than fashion, she had coordinated her look with crew socks—a different look for the usually fashionable Sidney.

In person, Stephanie realized she didn’t quite know what to say. She hadn’t planned any key statements. She only knew she wanted to make things right. But instead of speaking, she stared at the chopped vegetables.

“For somebody who wants to talk, you’re awfully quiet,” Sidney finally said, while continuing to chop. She refused to make eye contact.

“Well, I do want to talk, but I don’t know where to start. It has been more than seven weeks since we last spoke.”

“Oh, believe me, I know that better than you think.”

“I’m sure you do,” she replied. Stephanie realized this wasn’t going to be easy, and that there was a good chance she would walk out of that apartment without a renewed friendship. “What I want to talk about is . . . well, what I really want to do is apologize for being such a bitch when you tried to come to me for support. I should have been there for you, but I only thought about myself and my feelings.”

“As usual,” Sidney blurted. She put down the knife and picked up a can of 7UP that was on the counter. She took a sip, walked over to the dining table, and sat with her back turned to Stephanie. Her feet hurt and she didn’t have patience for apologies. It wasn’t enough.

“Yeah, you’re right, as usual. But I’d like to believe I’ve grown up some. I know I can’t change what happened to you, or between us. I’m sorry it happened, and I wish I could take back the things I said.”

“Well, don’t you think it’s a little too late to apologize to me now?”

“No, I don’t. It’s not too late. Listen, I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t bother me that you’re pregnant by somebody I used to sleep with, because I’m still pissed off about that. But I do care about you more than I care about being angry.” Stephanie sat down in the chair beside Sidney so she could look in her eyes. They always gave her true feelings away. “And I care about the well-being of your baby. And the two of you mean more to me than he ever did. I am sorry for neglecting you, your baby, and most important, our friendship.”

“For the last seven weeks I’ve been handling things just fine by myself. I’ve been drinking 7UP nonstop and eating carrots and celery like crazy, because right now they are the only foods I can keep in my stomach,” she said. “I’ve been going to class with morning sickness, and I’ve been spending a lot of time studying, because I realize that I’m all I got and all my baby has.” Her eyes started to tear up. “So, now that you’ve crossed into your sorority, you started feeling good about yourself and you’ve been having so much fun with your new sorors that you felt guilty because you know you were wrong for the way that you treated me. Well, I don’t need your guilt trip, Steph. I need a friend and that’s what I thought you were. I was wrong!”

“You’re right, I haven’t been a friend, but I’m trying to change all of that right now. And you are right, I did feel guilty. I still do feel guilty, but not because I have new friends. I know I lost my oldest and closest friend for selfish reasons. I love you like a sister, Sidney, and I want to be there when your child is born. I want to help you prepare for the baby’s arrival. I want to help you shop for baby clothes, and I want to be its godmother. I want to start where we stopped. But I understand if you don’t ever want to speak to me again.” She couldn’t think of what else to say to convince Sidney to give her another chance.

Sidney got up out of her chair and went back to chopping her vegetables as if she hadn’t heard a word that came from her ex-friend’s mouth. Stephanie realized it was useless. All those years of being close and sharing their deepest secrets were over.

“I’m sorry I interrupted your day. I think I’ll leave,” Stephanie said softly, and got up slowly and headed for the door. She couldn’t hold back her tears, and although she knew it was highly unlikely, she wanted Sidney to stop her.

“Steph, wait,” Sidney said, and walked toward her. “You weren’t the only one who messed up. I’m sorry too.”

Stephanie was relieved. She was going to get a second chance. Her good friend was willing to talk, and hopefully, accept her back into her life.

“I’m so sorry,” Stephanie managed through her tears.

“I am too,” Sidney, who was also crying, said.

They hugged and apologized and promised to always be there for each other and not allow any situation to ruin their friendship. They sat down, and caught up on each other’s lives. Before they knew it, it felt like old times.

TWENTY-FOUR

Tiara’s alarm clock went off at eight a.m. She woke, disoriented. Her heart raced, and she was in a half-sleep, half-awake state. She was groggy and didn’t want to go to class feeling that way. Then she realized it was a Sunday. She could sleep as late as she wanted. Excited, she reached over, turned the alarm clock off, laid back on her pillow, and tried to remember the events from the previous night. She found herself smiling when she relived Ben’s kiss good night.

He had walked her to her dormitory, taken her hand, and said, “I didn’t get a chance to congratulate you properly for crossing.” Then he put his arms around her waist, pulled her close, and kissed her. Tiara could have sworn she saw fireworks. He whispered in her ear, “I’ll call you tomorrow about noon to make sure you don’t sleep the day away.”

“Okay,” she responded. She was light-headed after that kiss he laid on her.

“Well, I’ll talk to you tomorrow,” he said, and squeezed her hand.

Although she didn’t want him to go, he began to pull away, then stopped. “Tiara, you know, I’m really glad we met,” he said.

“I am too,” she snapped out of her trance long enough to respond. “You’re cool, and I like being around you.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Maybe we can find something to get into tomorrow—that’s if you want to.” He looked deep into her eyes and stroked the back of her head. Slowly pulling her close, he kissed her again.

The thought of that kiss still made her blush. She flashed back to the party and the fun she and her sisters had walking in line. She jumped out of bed and started doing her favorite walk. “You were jammin’ too hard last night,” she said aloud, and laughed. She got back into bed, but she couldn’t stop smiling. She knew it would be a while before she would have another entire day as perfect as yesterday. She wanted to savor every minute, but was interrupted by the telephone ringing.

“Hello!” she answered.

“Tiara?”

“Momma? Hey, Momma!”

“How you doing, girl? It’s been so long since I heard from you. You usually be done called by now.”

“Momma, I was pledging for the past seven weeks. Remember, I told you it would be a while before I would get a chance to call? Anyway, I just crossed last weekend, so I should be calling more. But I tried to call last week, and the phone was disconnected.”

“Yeah, but we got it turned back on yesterday. So, you crossed? Well, congratulations, I guess. I am supposed to congratulate you, right?” her mother asked, unsure of the appropriate reaction.

“Yeah, Momma, it means I’m in the sorority now. So how’s everybody doing?”

“Oh, we just fine, here. Girl, I won twenty-five dollars playing the scratch-offs at the convenience store yesterday. I was so happy, I went and bought five dollars’ worth of junk food for your badass sisters and brothers.”

“Momma, they’re not bad,” Tiara said. She wished her mother would stop reinforcing a negative image of herself and her children.

“Girl, yes they is! They just try to be on they best behavior when you home,” she said, then gave the latest example of why she considered her children bad. “Man-Man and Brother were running all ’round the store yesterday. I had to threaten to call the police on them before they acted like they had some sense. But Donnell—he so sweet—was all up under me as usual. You know he’s a momma’s boy.”

“So how are Tamika and Niece?”

“Tamika has been into her books lately, she’s doing so good in school. And Niece’s fast ass done gone and got this no-good, ghetto boyfriend. He always calling over here. She so gone over him that she ain’t thinking about studying.”

“I’m gonna have to sit down and have a talk with her when I come home. But what about you, Momma, how are you doing?”

“The same as usual. I’m thinking about dropping Charles. He get on my nerves. Sometimes he’ll go three and four days without coming over and calling, and he don’t return my pages. He the reason our phone got turned off. He made all these long-distance calls, and I didn’t see him for a week and didn’t have the money to pay the bill. He finally showed up and got the phone turned back on. He get on my nerves.”

“Go on and leave him alone, Momma.” Tiara wanted them to break up so badly because he was a bad influence on her brothers. He sold drugs, and he never had a steady job. He was always flashing money. Tamika once told her that whenever he wanted to be “alone” with their mother, he would pay the kids to go to the store to get candy, or pay them to go outside and play. They’d have sex and be finished by the time the children would come back in the house. Sometimes he would stay the night, and sometimes he wouldn’t, depending on how much money he had in his pockets. Staying usually meant he was broke.

Tiara was convinced that the only things her brothers could learn from him were how to lie around the house and be lazy, disrespect women, and be irresponsible and unproductive. She didn’t want her brothers growing up to be menaces, therefore he needed to be out of their lives.

“It ain’t that easy, Tiara. He makes me feel too good—in bed. Besides, how you think I can afford a three-bedroom apartment?”

“Momma, you know you could take some night classes, and get your GED and get a job.”

“Now, you know I’m too old for that nonsense. Don’t try to help your momma. I’m doing just fine. I just want you to do good.”

“It was just a suggestion,” she said with defeat in her voice. Although Tiara loved her mother, her heart ached every time she talked to her on the phone. She so wanted a better life for her, and it was hard to let her mother be the way she was and accept it.

“That’s why I sent you to school. You gonna be the first one in our entire family to get a degree, and that’s all I need. Then Tamika will follow in your footsteps. Niece too fast for college.”

“Don’t say that, Momma. When Niece and Tamika come to visit me for a week this summer, they’ll both start doing whatever it takes to come back here when they graduate.”

“I hope so, but my bill is getting high. I hadn’t talked to you in a while and I just wanted to make sure everything was all right.”

“Everything’s fine. I love you, Momma, and tell everybody I said hi and that I love them and I’ll be home in about three weeks.”

“Okay. Three weeks. I love you too. Bye.” They hung up, and Tiara put her pillow over her face. Everything that she was smiling about earlier had faded. She had to figure out how she was going to get her family out of the Indiana slums and into better living conditions. She also wondered how to make her mother not need Charles, and how to make sure her brothers didn’t end up joining gangs, or start selling drugs, or even worse, get killed before they were twenty-one. She finally concluded that she could only do what she was already doing—get her degree and get a good job that would allow her to ease the financial burden on her mother so she wouldn’t need to depend on Charles, or anybody else, for survival.

To find comfort, she attempted to call Rhonda, but she got her answering machine. At the tone, Tiara yelled her sorority call and said, “Hey, Big Sister slash Soror, I can’t believe you’re not home. Call me later, and hug Freeman for me. Love and peace!”

She hung up the phone and decided she wasn’t going to spend her day in bed mourning. There were things in life she was never going to be able to change about her mother, her family, and her past. She promised herself to accept all the things she had been ashamed of. She would accept herself as Tiara, a work in progress. Her social class wasn’t as important as her loving, accepting, and allowing herself to move forward and grow. “Man, I’m beginning to sound like Rhonda,” she said out loud.

She walked over to her closet to find something to wear. She wanted to be dressed if Ben called. And if he didn’t, she would go do something with somebody else. There was always Gina and Sandra, and, of course, she had four new sisters to hang out with.

After showering and shampooing, she wrapped her hair and sat under the hair dryer. While under the dryer, she pampered herself with a much-needed manicure and pedicure. She then washed her face and spritzed with mineral water. Afterward, she prepared an egg mask, using only the yolk for her dry skin. Once the mask set, she rinsed her face. She ran the faucet a while to get the water as hot as possible, and soaked a washcloth under the running water, then rung it semidry and placed it on her face, allowing the steam to open her pores. It felt good. She spritzed her face again with cold mineral water. She touched her cheeks. “It feels as good as if I had gone to a spa,” she said.

Once dressed, Tiara opened the latest
Essence
magazine and flipped through the pages. She was determined not to read anything dealing with her major. She loved this particular magazine. Rhonda introduced her to it and bought her a two-year subscription as part of her graduation gift. According to her big sister,
Essence
was the most complete magazine for women, from beginning to end, and she agreed.

She read two interesting articles and learned some new beauty tips, and then the phone rang. Her heart raced. I hope it’s Ben, she wished.

“May I speak to the finest lady in Campton Tower?” It was Ben. His voice was so sexy and masculine.

“Well, if you mean Tiara, this is she.”

“Hi, cutie!”

“Hi back to you,” she teased. They laughed.

“So, miss, what are your plans for today?”

“Well, I’m booked solid. I already have a date with this guy . . . His name is Ben. He’s all that. You couldn’t even compete,” she joked.

“Is that so?” he replied. “Well, that’s okay because I too have a date. I’m gonna be hanging out with Tiara, and let me tell you, she is one gorgeous young lady. She’s intelligent and sexy. Now I know you can’t compete with that.”

“I guess she wins,” Tiara said.

“I guess he does too,” he replied. “So what time do we meet them?”

“Well, I was hoping to see my guy soon.”

“How about thirty minutes.”

“Okay. See you downstairs,” she said.

“Hey, dress casual,” he instructed.

“All right. See you in a few.”

Tiara was glad it would be a casual date. She was already dressed casually, in her sorority’s paraphernalia, of course. She had on a T-shirt, jeans, and tennis shoes, which was unusual for her. But she had worn tennis shoes so much while on line that she began to appreciate the comfort.

She ran to the mirror and freshened her makeup. She was so excited. This was going to be her first real date.

Tiara met Ben in the lobby of her dormitory. He was also wearing jeans and tennis shoes. Ben was extremely attractive. He was tall, thin, and muscular, and he wore his clothes well. He was dark-skinned and had light brown eyes and perfect, bright white teeth. His hair was always perfectly trimmed close to his head, and he wore two earrings. The brother had style, which is what had initially attracted her.

“So, what’s up for today?” she asked, as they walked out to his car. She couldn’t imagine what they would be doing on a date that started at three.

“Well . . .” He grinned. “I wanted to take you to one of my favorite places. No, two of my favorite places.”

“What are they?” she asked.

“Well, the first one is over that way.” He smiled and pointed in one direction. “And the other is that way.” He then pointed in the opposite direction.

“Well, I guess I’m gonna be in suspense all day. This could be fun.”

“I’ll tell you this much—we’re going downtown.”

“Okay. At least I now know you’re not taking me to some foreign country,” she joked.

Ben drove a used sports car. It was nothing flashy, but it was spotless. When he started the car, he quickly turned down the blasting music. They immediately engaged in light conversation. They talked about when they first met, and why they were drawn to each other. Ben told Tiara that he liked the way she took charge during the rehearsal the night before the show. “You’re a strong woman, Tiara, I like that,” he said. “Most girls I dated in high school were soft-spoken and weren’t opinionated, at least around me. You speak your mind, that’s sexy.”

“Well, I’ve had to be strong, I grew up in the projects—survival of the fittest,” she said proudly. “Now, I’m majoring in engineering. You can’t be a weakling and keep a decent GPA—the classes are no joke.”

“I hear you and I’m impressed,” he said.

“So what about you? What’s your story?”

“Well, I went to a coed private high school that was predominantly white. I got a basketball scholarship to another school, but wasn’t interested in playing college ball. Since I knew I wasn’t good enough to play professional ball, I didn’t even bother.”

“Smart decision.”

“I have to take my education seriously because I’m the first in my family to attend college. Both my parents had good-paying factory jobs, but they want a degree in the family. That’s where I come in,” he said proudly, and took one of his hands off the steering wheel and held it up. “I’m holding my family’s future in my hands.”

“Tell me about it,” she replied, thinking of her own responsibilities.

Downtown, they parked at a meter and began walking. Although she had been in the city for two years, she wasn’t familiar with the downtown attractions, because she didn’t have a car and none of her friends ever wanted to go.

They walked up to a two-story building, which housed an African-American museum.

“We’re at our first stop,” he announced.

“A museum?” Tiara was shocked. Ben didn’t look like the museum type.

“Is this okay?” he asked, hoping she was not disappointed.

“This is perfect.” She smiled. She was thrilled because she would be able to look back on her first date and say he was not only fine, but also educated and culturally aware. She couldn’t wait to tell Rhonda. She would be proud.