Sorority Sisters (4 page)

SIX

The alarm clock went off at seven-thirty a.m. Cajen reached over and hit the snooze button. Just a few more minutes . . .

Nine minutes passed, and the alarm went off again. This time Cajen got out of bed and decided there was no way out of beginning this day. The first thing on her mind was that almost three days had passed since she last talked to Jason. She had left a message on his answering machine Sunday evening, but he didn’t return her call. Before Friday night she had heard from him at least once a day, even though most of the time it was through notes he sent by the pledges.

Cajen was tempted to ditch her classes and stay in bed, but decided that if she was out on campus, she’d have a better chance of running into Jason. She put on her robe and shower shoes and headed for the shower. She walked through the doors of the community bathroom and stopped to use the toilet. She hurried along before the stalls were all in use, because there were only eight shower stalls and six were already filled with female students who apparently were more enthusiastic about going to class than she was.

Cajen felt a tingling, burning sensation. What is going on? she thought. She carefully wiped and went over to the shower. While in the shower, she checked to see if everything felt normal. She noticed that a little blister was growing on the lips of her vagina. Not wanting to panic or think the worst, she brushed it off as some sort of weird yeast infection.

She had a long day ahead, and rushed out of the shower and got dressed. Her first class was trigonometry, and she didn’t want to be late. Instead of going to the cafeteria to have breakfast, she stopped by the campus deli and grabbed a banana, which hit the spot. Cajen was ten minutes early for class, so she walked down the hall to the vending machine to get some juice. While deciding between orange and grape, she heard what sounded like Jason’s laugh. She quickly chose orange juice, and followed the deep echo. He laughed again and then spoke, but his words weren’t clear.

Cajen turned the corner and was at a stairwell, and the voice became clearer. It was Jason, and he was in the stairwell talking to two other guys. One of them said, “Jason, man, you the man!”

Jason said something she couldn’t hear, and then added, “Oh, I know I’m the man.” They all laughed again.

She wanted to approach them, but also wanted to hear what they were talking about.

One of them said, “You’re bullshitting. Man, she all that! And she’s jocking you?” he questioned.

Someone else said, “So what! She’s old news, and she’s all used up. She was trying to get with me last month.”

“You’re right,” Jason said. “She ain’t about shit. I heard she’s been with half of the campus, but it’s not my fault if she wants to slobber all over my boy, if you know what I mean. That’s what freaks do, and she is definitely a freak.”

Cajen couldn’t believe her ears. Who were they talking about? She knew it was not her. The thought of oral sex made her nauseous. So who was this girl, and was Jason planning on having sex with her? Cajen wanted to interrupt, but she wanted to hear more. Who were they talking about?

“So what you gonna do man?” one asked.

“Use your imagination, dog!” Jason responded. They laughed some more.

Not able to take anymore, she had to interrupt. So she pulled herself together and began walking down the stairs, as if she had no idea they were there. They heard her approaching and cut their conversation. Jason looked at her as if he were seeing a ghost.

“Hi, Jason,” Cajen said innocently. She recognized the other guys. They were in his fraternity. One of them had on a cowboy hat and boots. She remembered seeing him at a campus party licking some girl’s neck while they were slow dancing. He had on the same hat and boots, only that night he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his pants were unzipped. Cajen thought he was gross that night, and even though he was now fully dressed, he was still disgusting. The other guy was short and clean-cut, but he had big, rusty lips. Cajen wanted badly to offer him some Chap Stick, but didn’t want his lips on anything that belonged to her. She looked at them both and managed to say hello.

“Hi, Cajen,” they said, with goofy grins plastered on their faces.

She realized she had left her books in her classroom and had no excuse for being in the stairwell. She felt awkward, so she decided the best way to deal with this situation was to be honest. She told Jason she was getting something to drink at the vending machine and thought she heard his voice. She could barely continue her story because Jason’s fraternity brothers were eyeing her like she was a piece of meat they wanted to devour. Once she stopped talking, they looked at Jason like he was some kind of god. Then the cowboy said, “Like I said earlier, Jason, you the man.” Cajen felt cheap. She wanted to turn around and walk away. How could Jason let his brothers treat her like that freak they were talking about earlier?

Perhaps Jason knew she was uncomfortable, because he told them that he would catch up with them later.

“Yeah, we’ll see you tonight,” they said, as they walked down the stairs. Then the one with the big lips had the nerve to turn around and shake his head and smack those chapped lips at Cajen. Yuck, she thought. But she immediately blocked him out of her mind and focused her attention on Jason. She couldn’t tell if he was happy to see her, so she waited for him to speak.

“You tracking me down, sexy lady?” he asked her.

Cajen was made uneasy by that statement and wanted to make it clear to him that she was not spying. “No, I told you what happened,” she responded.

“I’m just kidding. So what’s new?” he asked, flashing his irresistible smile.

“You know I’m going to rush on Sunday. I’m excited about that.”

“No doubt . . . no doubt,” he said, while looking around every time he heard the slightest little noise. He seemed uncomfortable.

“I left a message,” she managed to say.

“Oh yeah. I got it, but I’ve been tied up. You know, frat business.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she responded.

“Now stop tripping, sexy lady. You know I would’ve called by now if it wasn’t for that.”

“Yeah, I know you would have.” There was something about his voice that made her feel vulnerable, but deep down Cajen suspected they were looking at their relationship through different eyes. She saw him as a potential committed boyfriend but worried that he saw her as a good time for a short time. Nevertheless, she wanted and expected more. “So when will I see you again?”

“It’s hard to say.”

“Oh . . .” Her heart was crushed.

He told her how hectic the rest of his week was going to be and said if he could, he’d try to squeeze some time for her late Friday or Saturday night. Then he kissed her on the cheek and said he needed to go.

With his reaction and his busy schedule, it was becoming evident that last Friday night had meant nothing to him.

Cajen walked through campus to her dormitory. The campus was beautiful—there were lots of trees, and the shrubbery around the buildings was meticulously maintained. But she wasn’t aware of the beauty around her, because she was preoccupied with the encounter she’d had with Jason earlier that morning. She hoped he’d be able to squeeze some time in for her out of his busy schedule. Then she wondered if he didn’t have time for her because he was spending time with that freak the guys were talking about. Is that what he wanted, someone more experienced? Cajen had no intention of being a freak like that other girl, whatever her name was, but she did want to keep Jason. There had to be another way. Wait a minute, she thought. What’s happening to me? Have I actually allowed myself to fall for someone I can never have? What could be worse?

In deep thought, she didn’t realize that Eric was right in front of her, showing all thirty-two of his pearly whites. He had on sweatpants and a sweatshirt with a T-shirt peeking out from underneath. He was five-eleven, attractive, intelligent, and athletic, but there was nothing about him that made her melt—at least not the way Jason did. Still, she did like Eric; he had a wonderful personality.

“Hey beautiful!” he said. “Can I walk you to your dorm?”

“Well, I have some things I have to do; I have to finish my letter of intent.”

“That’s right, rush is this weekend. Well, I’m on my way to the gym, and I don’t have to come up. I’ll just walk you to the entrance. That’s if you don’t mind.” Eric was always polite and considerate.

“Okay, it’ll give us a chance to catch up.”

“It’s not my fault that we haven’t talked in the past couple of weeks. I’m beginning to think that we’re not friends anymore.”

“Now, Eric, you know that we’ll always be friends.”

“I hope so, Cajen, because you mean a lot to me.”

Cajen was surprised to hear that from Eric. She knew he cared, but she wasn’t expecting him to say so. “Well, you mean a lot to me too, Eric, and I’m glad we’re friends.” Eric stared at her and seemed about to say something else, but instead blurted, “Are you gonna be busy later today? Maybe we can eat dinner at the cafeteria together and talk.”

“Oh, Eric, I’m not sure. I mean, I don’t want to make any promises and then let you down.”

“Well, we’ll do it this way. Let’s set a time now, and if you find out later that it won’t work, just give me a call and let me know either way. I’ll be in my dorm room studying after I leave the gym, and I’ll wait for your call.”

They approached her dormitory. Eric looked directly in her eyes; she knew how much he was hoping that she would say okay. Luckily for him there was no way she could say no. He was such a gentleman, and she needed to talk to a friend. “Okay, let’s say seven-thirty, and if I can’t make it I’ll call.”

“Okay, we’ll walk over to the student center, and I’ll treat.”

“Thanks.”

“Well, I’m gonna let you go ahead and get started on your letter. The letter of all letters. The life-changing letter,” he joked. “Good luck, and if you need me to critique it, just let me know.”

“I wish I could, but you know these things are supposed to be private and personal,” she said, as she opened the door to her dorm. “Don’t overdo it at the gym.”

“I won’t. But I’m looking forward to seeing you later. You know, to catch up,” he said as he walked away.

Cajen changed out of her clothes into sweats and a T-shirt. Then she went across the hall to use the rest room. She experienced the same episode from the morning—a stinging irritation. She could not keep blowing this off. She had to do something. When she got back to her room she closed the door behind her, and called Student Health to ask if she could get an emergency pelvic exam. The nurse said they could squeeze her in, but it wouldn’t be until four-thirty. She accepted the appointment and hung up the phone.

She looked at her clock. It was only one-forty-five. What was she going to do with herself until four-thirty? She started working on the letter of intent she had to have with her Sunday in order to be admitted through the doors of the Exclusive Pink Plush Rush. Kim, one of the members of the sorority who’d taken a personal interest in Cajen, informed her that if she wanted to be considered for the privilege of being a pledge for her sorority, her letter had to be substantive, which, in Kim’s opinion, was something most college freshmen weren’t capable of. Although she was distracted with the events of her day, she managed to turn on her computer and begin to work on her letter. Cajen often wondered what Kim and her sorors discussed when they sat in the cafeteria together. Their conversations always seemed so much more interesting than the ones she had in the cafeteria. Like them, Cajen longed to one day grace the campus with her pink T-shirt and pink book bag.

What will make me stand out? What will make my letter be just as good if not better than the upperclassmen who will also be writing to the sorority?

Cajen thought and wrote, and rewrote, and thought some more and rewrote again. She finally came up with what she considered a masterpiece. “Now, this has substance!” she proudly exclaimed. Then she looked over at the clock. It was already four. She couldn’t believe how quickly time had passed. She’d almost forgotten her dreaded doctor’s appointment.

She assured herself. It will just be a yeast infection. Or maybe it’s an allergic reaction to something. Yeah, that’s it. She grabbed her purse and keys and headed out the door, but Cajen’s heart was heavy because deep down she knew the blister she had found while in the shower was more serious than a yeast infection.

Cajen waited in the examination room for the doctor to return with her results. For some reason, she felt the doctor was going to come back with bad news. She was relieved a female gynecologist was caring for her, because male doctors made her uneasy.

There was a knock at the door. “I’m dressed,” Cajen said. Dr. Anita Mitchell walked in with the serious look that most doctors seem to have, whether they are delivering good news or bad.

“Cajen, I’m sorry, but I don’t have good news. However, we can’t be one hundred percent certain until we get the test results back from the lab tomorrow.” She paused. Why is she pausing? What could possibly be wrong with me? It must be AIDS! I have AIDS!

Seeing the stricken look on Cajen’s face, the doctor assured her, “It’s not fatal, but you seem to have contracted the herpes virus.”

“The what? Herpes? What . . . what is that? What’s wrong with me? Virus? Oh . . . oh, no.” Tears formed in Cajen’s brown eyes. She could not believe the diagnosis. She had heard of herpes, but was not familiar with the ramifications of contracting the disease.

“Cajen, one out of five women has herpes. You are not going to die from this disease, but it will be annoying. Herpes comes in the form of blisters, and it’s just like the common cold. When it is active, you are extremely contagious. But when it’s inactive, there are no symptoms, and you are probably not. I do recommend, however, that you use a condom with your partner even if you are not having an episode, because you still may be contagious. Also, it’s the nineties, Cajen, and practicing safe sex is important. It cannot only prevent annoying diseases like herpes, but also unwanted pregnancies and AIDS.”