Sorority Sisters (7 page)

Dear Tiara,

I’m proud of you. I know that this is not much money, but I won $100 on a scratch-off lottery ticket and I gave your brothers and sisters fifty dollars to split, and split the other fifty between you and me. Buy yourself something nice and don’t be up there being all fast! Talk to you later.

Your momma

“Thank you, Momma!” Tiara said out loud. “I wasn’t expecting this.”

Then she opened the care package Rhonda sent. She sent one every month, containing all of Tiara’s favorite junk foods, and sometimes there’d be money, anywhere from ten to fifty dollars. She would also include her personal favorite toiletries, which Tiara had adopted as her favorites. This care package, however, was lighter than usual, and she had already received one for the month. “What did she send this time?”

She opened the package. Inside was a dress. A nice dress and jacket. An expensive dress. She could just look at it and tell. Tiara tried it on. It was a perfect fit. She sometimes felt that Rhonda knew her better than she knew herself. It was sleeveless, camel-colored, with a simple, straight cut that came just above her knees with a short split in the back. The jacket was cut short and had a wide collar. Rhonda also sent her favorite pair of pearl earrings and a long string of pearls, which added elegance to the ensemble. In the letter that accompanied the package, Rhonda instructed Tiara to wear flesh-colored pantyhose and the camel shoes they had bought on sale a year ago. Tiara laughed to herself because she already had them on. They were a perfect match. Rhonda also instructed Tiara to return the pearl set pronto after rush.

She stared at herself in the mirror. “I look pretty damn good if I must say so myself.” She took off the outfit and put on shorts and a T-shirt. She lounged on her bed, then picked up the phone and called her mother and her Big Sister, and thanked them for their gifts.

NINE

Stephanie woke up Saturday morning in bed next to Jeff. They had gone to dinner and a movie the night before. Afterward, they went back to his apartment and had drinks. After her second glass of Chardonnay, he was able to convince her to spend the night with him. Why am I still seeing this jerk? she asked herself. She looked over at him. He was knocked out. I don’t like him and he can’t even screw. What a wasted night. What a wasted life. Even in his sleep he looks like a jerk.

Jeff was a jerk. He was an investment banker and worked for his father’s close business associate, who promised to take Jeff under his wing and teach him the ins and outs of investing. Although they were in the South, he proclaimed that he hated any city that wasn’t Washington, D.C., and showed no respect for anyone who wasn’t from D.C., or who wasn’t in his fraternity, or didn’t make or have the potential to make anything over a six-figure income.

She hated that she wasn’t ready to stop seeing Jeff; he was her safety net. Although she didn’t like most of his ways, she knew his family was wealthy and that he was going to receive a healthy trust fund when he turned thirty. He would be set for life, even if he chose never to work again. So she kept her negative thoughts about him to herself, but sometimes expressed them to her mother.

She quietly got out of bed and went to put on her clothes, which were scattered across the floor. As she was reaching for her underwear, she almost tripped over one of the two bottles of wine that they’d gone through the night before.

Damn! I drank too much last night, she thought. I need to get dressed and get out of here before he wakes up.

“Hey, baby doll. I know you’re not leaving this early,” Jeff remarked. She hated when he called her that, because she found out he called all of his previous girlfriends “baby doll.” But why was she surprised? she thought. Jerks don’t know how to be original. They try the same tired game on every woman they deal with, because to them pussy is pussy. It’s just attached to a different face.

“Well, I have a lot to do today,” she said.

He disregarded her reason. “You can’t leave, because we’re going to go out and get brunch and maybe come back here and do a little more of what we did last night.”

“Jeff, I have to plan for rush.”

“Maybe tomorrow, huh?” he asked.

“Do you ever listen to a word that comes out of my mouth? I have rush tomorrow. I’ve told you about rush at least three times already,” she said, frustrated that he didn’t remember or care.

“Oh, yeah. Is it that important?”

“What?” she asked.

“To plan. I mean. You’re paying to get in anyway. You’re a legacy, and you’re my girl. What is there to prepare for? You’re already prepared because of who you are,” he whined. “Now, let’s go eat.”

It sometimes seemed that he never went through the college experience. Jeff graduated with honors from his parents’ alma mater, Howard University, and pledged the same fraternity as his father. Yet he often acted as if Stephanie’s college experiences, although similar to his, were not relevant.

“You know what? I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that,” she said.

“Say what?” he asked.

“Just forget it.”

“Well, can we at least get a quickie in?” he begged in what he thought was his sexy voice, which fell short of its desired effect.

“I’ve got to go, Jeff, and I don’t know when I’ll be seeing you again. Bye.”

She walked out of his bedroom with her shoes in hand and her pants half-zipped. She just could not get out of his condo quick enough. She was actually beginning to hate being around Jeff. There’s got to be something better than this, she thought, as she slammed the door and rushed to her candy-apple-red convertible Mustang.

Stephanie got out of the tub, put on her bathrobe, went into the living room, lounged on her plush couch, and turned on the TV. An old
Love Boat
episode was playing and she tried to get into it, but it only depressed her. Everybody on those kinds of shows always seemed to be happy and in love.

She turned the television off and picked up her address book. She needed to feel special, and yearned to talk to a man who would make her smile. After going through her address book from A to Z, she could not think of one single man whom she could call, converse with, and hang up feeling good.

“What kind of fools have I been spending time with?”

She got out a piece of paper and a pen and started writing down all of the men she’d had sex with, starting in high school with her boyfriend Tim. She went on, through her freshman year in college to the present. She couldn’t believe how long the list was. By the time she got to Jeff, she threw the list on the floor, laid back on the couch, and stared at the ceiling. Had she really been with that many men? What kind of person was she? Who was she? She really didn’t know. She was so overwhelmed and frustrated with herself and with her life that she gave up and went to sleep.

She was awakened by the telephone. She reached over and grabbed it. “Hello!”

“Hi, Steph. What ya up to?” It was Sidney, but she didn’t sound like her usual, chipper self.

“Hey, Sidney. Actually, I was taking a nap. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, really. I’m parked downstairs and figured that I’d call before I came up.”

“What? Didn’t you see my car parked downstairs?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if you were with Jeff or not.”

“Oh. I’m still in my bathrobe, but come on up.”

“Okay. I just need to talk to you about something. We are good friends, aren’t we? No matter what, right?”

“What’s going on? Are you all right?

“I don’t know.”

“Come up here and talk to me!”

I decided I’m not gonna write this semester,” Sidney said. Her voice sounded as if she had been crying, but Stephanie wasn’t sure, because her makeup was flawless as usual and would camouflage any trace of swollen eyes.

“What?” Stephanie asked her longtime friend in disbelief. “Why not?”

“Well, the timing is not right. I’m a junior now and I do have one more year to write. Plus, when you make it in this semester you can make sure they vote me in next year.”

“But, Sidney, we were supposed to do this together. I can’t do this by myself. We’ve been planning this together for the last two semesters. You just can’t give up on me like this.”

“Well, Steph, you know me. I’m so quick to change my mind.”

“Not about something like this. Tell me the truth, Sidney. What is really going on?”

“Steph.” She paused and looked directly into her friend’s eyes. “I . . . I’m pregnant.”

“You’re pregnant? No, that can’t be right. You have been on the pill for three years. I was there when you went to the doctor to get your first prescription.”

“Well, it happened, Steph. I was taking antibiotics for my sinus infection, and it apparently affected the strength of the pill. So I’m pregnant.”

“By whom? You’re not even seeing anybody on a regular basis. Who were you having unprotected sex with anyway?”

Stephanie had known Sidney since they were freshmen. They had a lot of the same interests, and she was the only person Stephanie felt she could really be her true self around. However, they differed in that Sidney was not into short-term relationships, and never had sex until she felt her partner was trustworthy.

Sidney paused. She looked away from her and stared at the centerpiece on the coffee table. Then, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, she blurted out, “Scott.”

“Scott! Scott! You’re pregnant by Scott?” Stephanie could not believe what she was hearing. She used to date Scott. She had been intimate with Scott, and his name was on the list that she had compiled earlier. It had been two years since they even talked, and he was such a dog. She stopped seeing him because she found out he was also seeing a girl she had a class with. Why was Sidney seeing him, and why hadn’t she told Stephanie that they were seeing each other?

“I know you’re wondering why I didn’t tell you about us. I was going to, but this happened. Actually, I was hoping that I would never have to tell you, because there really is no us . . . I mean there is nothing to me and Scott.” She stopped talking and put her hands over her face.

Stephanie looked at Sidney and said, “I’m sorry you’re pregnant, but you need to let me know just a little more about why you, my best friend, was with my ex, Scott.”

Sidney began to explain. “There was a campus party about two and a half months ago. The only reason I went was because I was bored. You were visiting your grandparents in North Carolina. And as you know, I wasn’t, and still am not, seeing anyone. You are basically my only friend, and you were gone. Anyway, I was trying to prove to myself that if I wanted to go out and have a good time, I didn’t need to have somebody with me.”

“And?” Stephanie questioned. She was only concerned with why Sidney had betrayed her.

She took a deep breath and continued. “Anyway, I had a little too much to drink and decided that I’d go to the party on campus by myself. When I got there, the only face that looked familiar was Scott’s. I mean, there were other people that I knew, but . . . well, you know what I mean. We danced a couple of times, and when I realized I was at the deadest party of the year, I walked over to him—trying to be courteous—and let him know I was leaving.”

“So if you were leaving,” Stephanie pushed, “how did you end up sleeping with him?” At this point tears were beginning to fall. She couldn’t believe she was getting this kind of news, especially the day before rush. How dare Sidney.

Feeling the hostility in Stephanie’s voice, she got defensive. “Steph, I’m trying to get through this. It’s not easy for me to tell you this,” she said.

There was a moment of silence.

“He offered to walk me to my car. We stood by my car and talked, and he said that he had some coolers in his car and asked me if I wanted one. I said okay. I mean, I was ready to leave the party, but I wasn’t trying to go to an empty apartment. Not just yet, anyway,” she explained. “We sat in his car and drank. He had several. I don’t know how many I had. Anyway, I woke up in his apartment, naked, lying next to him.”

“Oh, so you’re saying you passed out and he screwed you while you were sleeping. That’s a bunch of bull, Sidney, and you know it is. Plus, why the hell did you let him drive home drunk?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. I’m saying that it didn’t even seem real. It was like a dream or something. The next day I only remembered pieces of the evening. I remember being in his apartment, but I don’t even remember the ride there. It was really weird.”

Stephanie was stunned. As her friend was telling her the details of that crucial night, her mind flashed back to their past conversations. Her mind flashed to them discussing how, if friends were true friends, they wouldn’t, under any circumstances, see each other’s ex-boyfriends. And how there were enough men on the earth that they didn’t need to be recycled, at least by family and friends. Then she would flash to them discussing their plans for rush, and pledging and crossing and celebrating.

“Stephanie, we both promised never to tell anybody about what happened. I haven’t even talked to him since.”

Stephanie didn’t respond.

“Stephanie, I am so sorry this happened. And if I could turn back time, I would have never gone to that party. I . . . I don’t want this baby.”

Stephanie could not find it in her heart to feel sorry for Sidney. She could only think about their plans for pledging together going down the tubes. She figured Sidney would get an abortion anyway. That was not the issue. But now Stephanie’s best friend had betrayed her, and she was going to have to go into the sorority by herself with strangers.

She was so angry that she was going to walk out of the room without saying anything, but she couldn’t hold back. “Sidney, how could you do this to yourself? I told you how Scott was and you slept with him anyway, knowing how he played me. How could you do this to us? I guess our friendship means nothing to you. All you care about is yourself. Now I have to go through all of this by myself. You are so selfish. I don’t care what you do about your pregnancy. I really don’t care.”

She was tired of people being inconsiderate of her feelings. Her biological mother chose drugs over her, and Sidney chose a one-night stand over their friendship. She decided she was not going to be so trusting of people, because in the end, they always let you down. Stephanie got up, went to her bedroom, and slammed the door behind her, leaving a stunned Sidney on the couch feeling sick to her stomach. Sick because she was pregnant by someone she barely knew. Sick because she had just lost her best friend. And she felt especially sick because she didn’t know what to do or where to turn to get support for her unplanned pregnancy.