Sorrows and Lace (16 page)

In fact…

He stepped forward – one, two, three – and threw a solid hook right into the same spot he’d just hit. Caracus stumbled further back, shaking his head.

Leaning to the side, Devlyn spit out a tooth and then lifted his gaze to Ronan, the anger enough to singe the foliage in the area. “You’re going to regret that.”

A slight whimper pulled Ronan’s attention. He glanced at Kelsey still kneeling on the ground with her hands on her mouth and her eyes wide. When it came to protecting her, he didn’t regret anything. He snapped his gaze back to Devlyn in time to see a fist heading toward his eye. Ronan dodged but Devlyn had enough momentum to make a connection. His fist glanced off the side of Ronan’s temple.

Black spots split across Ronan’s vision, but he held steady and started swinging. He connected a few times before his sight cleared up. Devlyn
tottered to one knee on the ground, waving his finger Ronan’s way like pointing at him. What the hell was he doing? Like Devlyn was telling someone to do something.

“Ronan, get down.” Slate’s yell penetrated the fighting haze Ronan had wrapped around himself.

He dropped to the ground and the roar of a shotgun raced overhead. “Shit.” More bullets flew from both sides.

Ronan rolled to a crouch
. Where the hell was Kelsey?

Her long legs were easy to find as sh
e stood over Devlyn, as if protected from the whizzing bullets surrounding her, and pointed a gun into his face.

As if in slow motion, Ronan spotted
one of the gang members lifting his newly loaded shotgun to his shoulder and aiming at Kelsey. Ronan burst forward, waving his arm and yelling. “No!”

Kelsey’s gun went off
the same time the shotgun did. Ronan wrapped his arms around her and they fell to the ground.

Excruciating fire fl
ooded up his back and he gasped.

Oh shit.

Had he saved Kelsey?

~~~

The acrid scent of burning flesh woke him before anything else. When the pain finally registered, Ronan hissed. “Holy… Stop!”

Doctor O’Donald leaned into his field of view
, grinning. “Yay, you’re awake. That will make a lot of people feel better.” She rolled her stool out of sight and more stinging followed her words.

Ronan flinched and tried listening as she dabbed something
that was both fire and ice on his back.

“Bear wit
h me. I don’t always use betadine to macerate, I’m sorry that means to help dry the edges of the wounds, but you saw how filthy those Caracus men are. I’m not taking any chances. The solution shouldn’t be too cytotoxic. I reduced its concentration with saline water.” She applied more, ignoring his grunt. “You caught some of the buckshot from a shotgun blast in the back. According to Kelsey, you saved Devlyn’s life.” She leaned back into his vision and scrunched her face. “Really? Devlyn Caracus? Not my first choice, you know, but okay.”

Devlyn? He hadn’t wanted to save the bastard. All he could think about was getting Kelsey out of the line of that shotgun. Kelsey had to be okay, she’d spoken to the doctor, but had she been hurt at all?
Did it make him weak that he was so worried?

Ronan
could breathe nice and slow when she wasn’t burning his flesh. But, oh hell, when she touched him, it hurt, and not in a good way. He swallowed, clenching his hands in the thin table mattress under him. “Is Kelsey okay? Where is she?” He desperately wanted to ask if she had stayed. He also wanted to know what happened. But really, his priority was information about Kelsey.

“She’s still talking with the police. We have some State Troopers here now. I guess they called in the Feds because Caracus is wanted in more than just one state. So he warrants special attention.” She
laughed, then said. “Okay, this is going to hurt. I’m not kidding, so clench your teeth or something because hurt is a nice word for it.” She jabbed something evil into his back.

PAIN. He arched and twisted to get away from it. The pain
grew and then suddenly stopped. Panting, he asked. “What the hell was that?”

“Sorry, you need anesthetic but also an antibiotic and I need to keep digging for metal pieces, so I had to give you a
shot right in the damaged part.” She was quiet for a moment, the metal clink of tools on trays and other items the only soundtrack in the room.

Closing his eyes, Ronan sighed.
The police questioned Kelsey. Hopefully, his lawyers were close by. While Montana had a more lenient way of looking at gun ownership and land protection, there were still laws to keep in mind and Ronan had to have violated a number of them by not calling in law enforcement when he knew the exact location the gang would be at.

But the legal process
would never have given him the revenge he’d sought.

Becky tapped his back with a cool blunt object.
“Okay, I’m going to try getting more out. If you feel anything, let me know, so I can give you another sh—”

“Shot? Like I just got? Hell no. No more. I’d rather you just dug around with a meat cleaver. It’ll be faster and less painful, if you just get it done. Do it now.” He turned his face into the mattress, folding his arms around his head.

Surprisingly, the first prods which he expected to hurt terribly, didn’t and he finally relaxed into the procedure. “Can I see Kelsey?”

“As soon as I finish here.” She tugged more, the sound of metal dropping into a pan punctuating her words.

What if Kelsey wasn’t there anymore when he got out?

A knock at the door interrupted the
silence in the room. Slate stuck his head past the door edge. “Hey, I’m sorry to barge in. I just wanted to let you both know I’m taking Kelsey home. Robbie’s staying to give you guys a ride out when you’re done here. Tim said he’s got the clinic for the rest of the day.” He closed the door after him as he left. He winked at Becky. “See you in a little bit.”  

Wait, Slate couldn’t take Kelsey.
She’d never answered him. What if she decided no? And she just left? What if she felt like the Caracus gang was the only reason worth staying before and now that they were out of the picture, she didn’t want to be there?

Kelsey
was going home. Could he handle losing her at this point?

The only thing he
had ever thought he’d needed or would need was Lacey Caverns.

But was it enough?

The procedure took long enough the time seemed to pass slow enough to age Ronan.

He didn’t want to wait any longer.

As Becky rinsed his back with more saline water, he managed to maintain his smartass remarks, because she was trying to help him. But as she patted his skin with gauze pads, he closed his eyes and asked as calmly as possible. “Do you think you’re done yet?”

“Yep. You did great. Only a few stitches. Keep the activity light. I’ll see you back in a week or so and we’ll check to make sure we got everything
. Check for any infection.” She squeezed his shoulder and leaned down to talk conspiratorially. “You can go home now, if you want. I’ll let Robbie know we’re about ready.” She took his arm and helped him scoot to a sitting position and adjusted a loaner flannel shirt over his shoulders. “I’ll get you a pain pill to ease some of the stiffness you’re bound to have.”

Everything hurt to move. Ev
en breathing caused discomfort.

He couldn’t get home soon enough.

Would Kelsey be there?

~~~

Slamming the front door, Ronan rushed inside his home. He’d worked himself into a certainty that Kelsey was gone. That she’d talked Slate into taking her home to the reservation. Mid-evening and lights were necessary to see, even with the abundance of windows allowing the setting sunlight into each room, bathing the house in oranges and yellows.

“Kelsey?” He called out, searching the kitchen and living room.
His heart dropped. Almost sprinting to the hallway toward her room, he stopped at his open door. He never left his door open.

Walking inside, Ronan
finally took a normal breath at seeing Kelsey. Relief overrode every other emotion he could have. And for just a second, he enjoyed it. He didn’t advance any further past the edge of his bed. He just wanted to take in the sight of her for as long as he could.

Cascading down her shoulders, h
er dark hair fell free. She faced away from him, arms wrapped around her slim waist. In the robe he’d left her, she looked out on the deepening shadows outside the large bay window.

Ronan
finally approached her, worry returning to replace his relief. He cleared his throat. “I thought you’d gone.” He stopped just inches from her, and almost touched her. Reached out even to pull her into his arms but dropped his hands.

She turned to
study him, her eyes bright with tears. “Why? Did you want me to go?”

Did he tell her the truth? That just thinking of her leaving again hurt more than anything the doctor had just done to him?

Kelsey dropped her hands and stepped forward, grabbing a chunk of his shirt and pulling herself close. The robe hem slapped his legs and her lilac scent ensnarled him. “Tell me, Ronan. Do you want me to go? Speak to me. Just say what you’re thinking. I don’t want any more regrets.”

He stared into her eyes, mesmerized by the depth she hid in the chocolaty color. He didn’t remember the small scar at the edge of her hairline and regretted that he hadn’t been there for that story.
“Do you think you’ve changed a lot, since we last knew each other?”

The desperation in her gaze faltered and she glanced away from him. “Actually, I’m someone completely different. I’m not innocent or naïve. I don’t have…” She shrugged, and backed away, leaving a cool
emptiness in her place.

“No, go on. You don’t have what?” Ronan reached out and pulled her back into his space. He held her there with a hand on each bicep. “Tell me. No regrets, remember?”

She lifted her gaze and licked her lips, stirring heat in the bottom of his stomach. “I don’t have that easy happiness I used to have. I barely have my laugh anymore. You know? I’m lost most of the time. Even if you were interested in falling in love with me again, like before, I’m not that girl. We would both fail, miserably.” She reached up as high as his grip would let her and wiped at her cheeks.

“I don’t fail. And I’m not that
same kid I used to be. You want to talk about regrets? I regret ever letting you walk out of my life. I regret letting my parents tell me who to marry and who I should love.” He released an arm and tipped her chin up with his forefinger. “That boy and I are vastly different. And I’m not interested in falling in love with that girl again. I want to fall in love with you. Truth is I never stopped loving you. Obviously I still want you.” He kissed her forehead, soaking in the silky smoothness of her skin. “We can’t expect things to be like what we had. I don’t want that again anyway.” He raised both hands to cradle her face. “Things between us could be better than that. And we deserve better.”

She sniffed, watching him with disbelief in her gaze.
“How? How could they be better than in love?”

He sighed. “I don’t know that I do want to love you like I used to – it was weak and jealous and easily manipulated.” Ronan brushed a chunk of hair from her cheek and tucked it behind the delicate shell of her ear. “The love I want with you will be strong and sure, confident, comfortable. Safe.”

She didn’t move. Didn’t accept or reject anything he’d said. His heart thumped hard enough to maybe crack ribs. He couldn’t wait. He had to know something.

“Come on, Kelsey. Give me my answer. Tell me yes.” Adding one more pitch to keep her at his side, he threw out the last lasso – the last thing he had. His true vulnerability. “Don’t you still love me? Even a little? I know I do.”

Kelsey’s words burst forth and her eyes heated as she spoke
. “Yes. I never stopped loving you. I don’t need your money or anything material like that. I always just wanted
you
.” She lifted her chin. “But I know how much you love this land. I get it. But I have to come first. Me. Last time you picked the land, Ronan, and this time it’s me
or
the land and you won’t get any do-overs.”

Ronan lowered his hands to his sides and waited for her terms. The land or Kelsey… everything he’d ever known or everything he’d ever wanted?

She continued with her voice firm. “I will marry you, but the date will be in two months. Far enough out of range of the deadline. I’ll sign any prenuptial you need or whatever, but you have to know I most likely can’t have children. You never really listened to me before about that.” She took a deep breath. “What do you say?”

He couldn’t answer for a moment. She’d just taken the full purpose of the marriage out from under him. He’d lose Lacey Caverns. Not his money, though, the land was small change compared to what he had. But Lacey Caverns… his home. He’d sacrificed so much for the land.
He’d sacrificed her. He’d sacrificed his happiness and saddled himself to Bethany.