Sorrows and Lace (5 page)

“Ah. Right, mom and dad.” Kelsey leaned back, a smug smirk used to cover her easily seen pain. She stared at the edge of the table in silence for a moment. Then she pierced Ronan with her dark hazelnut gaze. “You realize you asked me to marry you, right? At least that’s what that sounded like. Is that what you’re doing? Asking me?”

“I don’t know. We’re both so tired at this point, I’d like to think that we need to get some rest before I just dump all this information on you, but you don’t have anywhere to go and I don’t want to leave you stranded.” He twisted the edge of the napkin tighter and tighter. “My brother-in-law, Robbie MacAllister – you know him and his
brother
– gave me an opportunity to keep my land intact but it requires me finding a wife.”

“You have a wife. Everyone knows about the beautiful Mrs. James.” Kelsey’s palpable bitterness cast a shadow over their table. Not that they were caked in sunshine to begin with.

He nodded. “True, I have a wife. For the next few days. Let’s just say the existing wife broke the pre-nuptials in a huge way as well as tried ruining my chances for children. Needless to say, I need a wife to help me keep my property and to continue my line. I went the rich-bitch route before and I’d like to try a different path, this time.”

Squinting, Kelsey screwed up her lips. “You mean, all I have to do is marry you? That doesn’t seem too bad.
”

The waitress plunked
a carafe of orange juice and two glasses on the table. Kelsey waited until she’d left before reaching into her purse and pulling out a travel-sized bottle of vodka. She poured it in her coffee, the entire bottle glub-glubbing as she held it over the black liquid.

Lifting the cup, she didn’t even blow the steam to help cool it off.
Closing her eyes, she drank what she could before putting it down. “When are you thinking this will take place?”

Elation filled him. She was going to consider it. “Honestly, we need to be m
arried in the next week or so.”

“
In the next week or so?” Kelsey waited for his nod. She reached inside her purse and pulled out another bottle which she drained straight into her mouth. “Wow, you don’t mess around.” She waved her hand back and forth in front of her face. “I’m sorry. I’m a little shocked. This is a lot to take in, you know?”

The waitress arrived, arms full of dishes. Kelsey tapped her empty placemat and peered at Ronan. “Let’s talk about this when we’ve had something to eat. I feel like it might not be real.”

And Ronan didn’t argue. He was so tired, he didn’t know if he was even making sense.

Married in a week
to the woman of his dreams after not seeing each other for a handful of years? Yeah, it did seem like a dream.

Hell, Ronan wasn’t sure he hadn’t been
imagining things either. She hadn’t turned him down. She hadn’t said no. With as much business experience as Ronan had, the opportunity to talk more later was a sixty-percent yes. He’d take that over a one-hundred-percent no! Even tired, adrenaline gave him the energy to get through breakfast and help Kelsey return to the car.

What a weird thought that she might be his wife soon.

Exactly where she belonged.

The food smelled divine, but fell apart like sawdust in Kelsey’s mouth.

Ronan wanted to marry her. Maybe? She couldn’t quite figure out what was going on. Her normally quick wit continued to fail her and she couldn’t focus on more than one thing at a time. “Okay, I understand you need to marry me, or someone, to keep your land because of conditions or something. That’s fine. I get that. But what’s in it for me? I mean, why is it worth my while?”

A slow smile spread across his lips, lighting up the chocolate of his eyes
while reaching down into her lap and starting a slow fire.

Damn him and her reaction to him.
Kelsey adjusted her legs, crossing her ankles and tucking her feet further back under her seat.

Ronan finished swallowing
his food and drank slowly from the mug as he watched her like he wanted to drink her. Shivers covered her in goose bumps.

“Tell you what, since you obviously can’t remember what my place is like, why
don’t you just come down and stay a while. You don’t have a place right now. No job. I have both and we need to discuss the terms, if you’re even interested.” He straightened in his chair and studied her brevity in his gaze. “Kelsey, I’m not so cold that I’d leave you alone. No expectations, come stay as a guest and when we’re both rested, we can discuss this again. Sound good?”

Unable to
look away from his hypnotic lips, Kelsey nodded. What could she say? She didn’t have a bed for the night and her funds had reached an all-time low with no paycheck in sight.

“Good. Now eat up. You’re much too thin.” He pointed at her plate with his fork and then returned to his own meal.

With the subject on hold, Kelsey’s appetite returned and the omelet melted in her mouth.

Hopefully, Ronan didn’t change his mind about
her staying with him for a couple days. Because she didn’t need long to think about a dream she’d had coming true. Maybe married to a James, she’d finally have the respect she needed to feel human. Maybe people would look past her heritage and actually see
her
when she was dressed with money.

~~~

Rolling over, Kelsey buried her face in the crisp white pillow case. She stretched her legs in the queen-sized bed and arched her back. Oh, a big bed. Not a twin. Nope. She cuddled deeper and fanned her arms out, taking up as much room as possible.

Opening her eyes, she blinked at the sudden brightness. Squinting at the open curtains, Kelsey waited for a memory of where she was or what she was doing to surface from the alcohol fog she found herself in so often.
She’d never gone home with a guy, at least not since Sonny, but the circumstances around her life with him were also filled with self-loathing and shame. The bastard just happened to know how to pick up the women with the worst cases of low self-esteem and take advantage.

Kelsey glowered at the ceiling. What a way to ruin her surroundings. She needed a Bloody Mary, like now.

Her suitcases stood sentry beside the dark-trimmed door. A flash of her father yelling at her on his lawn crossed her mind and she groaned. Pushing herself up from the bed, she rummaged through her largest bag for some clothes.

She froze and glanced down the length of her body. Her practical white bikini bottom panties and matching sports bra along with her numerous pale scars adorned her body. And that was all.

A quick search of the room revealed her work uniform was nowhere to be found. She bent over again and dug harder through her stuff for some clothes. Anything at that point would do.

Finally, she yanked a pair of yoga pants and a University of Montana t-shirt from the inner organs of her suitcase.
When she’d been with Sonny, she’d had nothing but a toothbrush and two changes of shirts. If he allowed it. Most of the time, he required her to sit around in her underwear until he told her what chores to do or when to make him food. Or when he wanted to screw.

Closing her eyes against the memories, Kelsey breathed in slowly through her nose and then out through her mouth.
She leaned her head back in a silent plea to the sun to take her past away from her. And even though it wasn’t right, wasn’t something taught in the Salish culture, Kelsey wished – for the thousandth time – that the sun would also take Sonny’s life.

Because now that she was off the reservation, he’d be able to find her. And most likely kill her.

~~~

Leaving the room took guts, but not finding out what was going on left Kelsey out of control.
She was more afraid of that than anything.

She straightened her shoulders and closed the door behind her. What she owned might be crap, but it was her crap and she didn’t want it getting stolen while she was gone.

The overall splendor of the ranch confused her. She’d only ever been in one house that reeked of money and taste. And – oh, there it was, a flash of Ronan James in the casino, again on her lawn, and finally at some diner smiling his damn-I’m-undressing-you-with-my-eyes smile – well, now she knew where she was.

A little more confident, Kelsey padded down the hallway into a great room that was nothing less than splendid. She’d only been to the house a few times, but
it was ingrained in her memory. Plush cream carpet ate up her footsteps past the dark brown leather couches, antler lamps, and log tables. The James family nailed opulent Adirondack without tacky overabundance.

C
reaking wood off to her right made her whirl, the end of her ponytail curling over her shoulder.

“I wondered when you’d join me. Are you hungry?” Ronan leaned gracefully against a wrought-iron railing beside the fireplace mantle. He watched her, his eyes dark and unreadable.

Kelsey hid her nerves under a tight smile. “Starved, thank you. Do you have any cocktails?”

“Later. We need to talk first.” Ronan
straightened from his position and held out his arm, pulling her to his side while they walked. “I hope you slept well.”

She
nodded, untrusting the situation and unsure what he wanted from her.

Pushing her gently toward a tall stool at an even taller
counter, Ronan took a seat beside her, angled just so as he watched her sit down.

Kelsey
rested her arm on the counter and waited.

Ronan lifted his ankle and placed it across his knee. He tilted his head. “I offered you marriage
last night, but we didn’t get a chance to discuss the details and you never answered me. I would like to remedy both of those right now.”

“Okay.” Kelsey struggled not to giggle. He’d always gone into super-formal mode when he wanted something. Getting her to date him had been hilarious w
hen she’d received notes filled with his near-Shakespearean language.

“Okay.” He paused, the air filled with sudden expectation and tension.
“I need you to marry me because I can’t lose the land. I already told you that, but I’m repeating it just in case.”

Good thing, too. She pushed at the cuticle on her thumb. She
desperately needed a drink.

“But I don’t only want you to marry me.” He forged ahead, his words heavy. “We’ll get married in the next week and then we need to have a child.”

Kelsey scoffed, holding up her hands. “You want to have a baby the next week? Is that it? Sure, why not?” She slapped the counter. “Are you out of your mind? Nobody does this. People will know and they will riot. Or something.” She pressed her fingers to the bridge of her nose. “Actually, I don’t know what will happen. I need a drink. Do you mind if I make something while we discuss this?”

Ronan placed a hand on her forearm. “I do mind, Kelsey. I’m sorry, but
if we’re going to make a deal, then you can’t drink anymore. At all. You’ll never get pregnant that way and the baby will suffer through the gestational period from any alcohol you consume.”

She
stood, pacing around the large kitchen. “A baby? You’re talking like we have one on the way. I can’t… You’re serious? You want to get married next week? And have children? Or a child? What the hell is wrong with this?” She stopped and pointed toward his chest. “I can’t have children. Okay? The last doctor told me my uterus was too damaged. He said, I’d be lucky to have normal hormone balance the rest of my life.” She wiped a tear from her cheek, anger and sadness mixing for a cocktail of emotions she couldn’t handle without a damn drink!

Stopping beside the sink, she leaned her hands on the granite surface of the counter. She spoke to herself, maybe loud enough he could hear, maybe not. “I have nothing. I am nothing. My ex-husband wants me dead –
searches for me, actually – I owe more money than I’m worth. I’m a damn Native American. An Indian. Isn’t that what your parents called me? Told you to stop playing cowboys and Indians and grow up?” For the longest time after that she’d tried lightening her skin with buttermilk applications – which didn’t work. She’d tried bleaching her hair, but it only turned orange. She’d wanted so badly not to be the
Indian. S
he couldn’t be happy with herself.

She’d married the first white bastard to show interest.

Every time Sonny had beaten her, she’d remembered the way Ronan’s parents had talked about her, like she was dirty and beneath them. Beneath anyone else.

She’d never forgotten that.

Because of her skin and where she came from, she couldn’t be with Ronan who she swore to always love. And who swore to always love her.

Yeah,
look how far his promises of forever had gotten her.

Ronan winced, then gritted his teeth.
Pondering his next move, he decided to continue with his honestly-only policy with Kelsey. She’d always been straightforward with him. She deserved his honesty.

He relaxed his jaw so he could speak without sounding pissed. “I’m sorry for that. I regret a lot of things from my past, but letting you leave is one of the biggest.”