Sorrows and Lace (6 page)

Her plump bottom lip pressed tight to the top, thinning its curvaceous lines. Ronan had always had a thing for her damn lips. He pushed forward. “Do you think marrying me is something you’d be interested in? Something you could do?”

She studied her brightly painted nails, then lifted her gaze to his. “I think you need to hear me out before you go any further with wedding plans, R.J.”

He waited for the bomb she was preparing herself to drop.

Kelsey heaved a sigh, then dragged in a long exasperated breath. “Okay, so here’s the thing, I’m not divorced.” She watched him
, her lip pulled between her teeth as she worked at the soft skin.

For some reason, her admission punched him in the gut, but he
refused to react or judge the situation until he had all the facts. Plus, he was still married for hell’s sake. “Go on.”

Raising both hands, she worked the bulk of her thick, dark hair back into the makings of a ponytail. “I didn’t tell you, my husband’s name is Sonny Caracus. He’s with the Caracus gang. His brother is the leader. He…”
She spoke with a nervous twang at the end of each word with an “n” in it. Wrapping a rubber band around the mass at her crown, she swallowed. “He’s not nice which is a ‘better term than an honest and factual one like a ‘cruel prick’ would be.” She dropped her arms, fidgeting with her fingers in her lap.

Holy shit. Her husband probably had something to do with Amelia’s abduction. Another stick to add to the fire of hate raging inside him toward the gang. He spoke calmly, in case she spooked easily.
“Caracus? I didn’t realize Devlyn had a brother. Having recent experience with the leader, I can only imagine what it was like married to someone he’s related to. I’m sorry you had to live with that. Is there anything else?” Had Ronan been so drunk the previous night that he missed out on pertinent information when speaking with Big Red? Or had Red
forgotten
to pass along that important piece?

Drumming her nail tips on the granite counter, Kelsey
met his gaze dead-on.

A moment passed where his body decided to remember the effects of her scent on his mind, the way the waves of her hair teased around the contours of her face, and her damn eyes, even so
belligerent and defensive, they exuded scared vulnerability. Why would she want to be sitting across from him – or anyone – explaining her past?

He wanted her. Had never stopped. Oh hell, was he making a good move here?

After a few moments of his inspection, she returned to the stool, abandoning her pacing endeavors to move closer to him.

She lowered her voice,
the sudden softness working like velvet on his loneliness. She leaned toward him, pushing them into confidants, as if they shared a secret. “In all honesty? I’ve been on the run since I left him. He hasn’t been able to touch me at my dad’s because the tribe has protected me. The moment Dad kicked me out… I didn’t think I would be safe again.” She lifted her chin, pain tightening the skin around her eyes. “I know it’s just a matter of time before he gets me. He
always
gets me.”

Taking a chance that she’d allow his comfort, Ronan placed his arm carefully across her shoulders and pulled her in for a side-hug. If nothing else, she was his friend, even though it’d been a long time and he’d been the cause of her leaving. He kissed the side of her head,
the silky smooth strands of hair teasing his lips. She let him, not even pulling away to question his actions. Knowing her level of pride, the fact that she didn’t throw up defenses screamed her weakness was being alone.

Hell, his too.

Not to brag, but…
“I can get a divorce passed through in this county pretty quick. I’m not worried about the marriage
or
the guy. He won’t get you while I’m around.” Ronan’s confidence stemmed from knowing that the Caracus gang was already in the area, or had been, and they’d been fairly easy to deal with – at least on his end. At that point though, he would do or say anything to assuage her fears. An afraid Kelsey just didn’t fit when he wanted her happy. He squeezed her once more before letting her go. “I can deal with this.”

Eyebrows drawn close, Kelsey’s doubt came across in her warning tone.
“Sonny is a little on the crazy side.”

“
Crazy is doable. What I can’t do is leave you alone to deal with men like him. Honestly? I don’t want to be without Lacey Caverns, either. For me, losing the ranch isn’t an option and marrying you will let me keep it. If you marry me, I’ll protect you. Then you can let me worry about the side issues. I want to keep you safe, Kelsey.” He reached between them and held her hand for a drawn out moment which only tormented his desire further. Before he pulled her into his arms and ravaged her, he needed coffee. He jumped from his seat and mumbled something about his ass still dragging after the long night and rushed to grab more caffeine.

Kelsey shifted to lean her hip against the counter and turn
ed as he closed the space between them to reach for a mug. She crossed her arms. “What do you think about marrying for love?”

The question took him aback and he lowered his arm to his side. No matter which way he
looked at it, his pride would be trampled if he admitted that he might still love her when they’d only seen each other less than a whole day. She’d laugh in his face, if he admitted the truth too soon. He couldn’t help but laugh at himself and the circumstances. He wanted to marry the woman he’d always loved to save his land and he couldn’t even tell her how he felt. She’d never believe him. “It’s a marriage contract, not a romance novel. I don’t want you to feel like you have to marry me, if you don’t love me. I understand.” Inwardly, he rolled his eyes.

Women always
depended on emotional responses. He could protect her, give her children, and love her until she could remember that she loved him. Ronan was nothing if not successful at getting what he wanted. “So, do you think you can?”

“Well, there’s one more thing. Since it’s a contract, I assume you want full disclosure.” She licked her lips. Ronan wouldn’t mind full disclosure of a lot of things, but he waited for her to continue.
And when she said full disclosure, things could get ugly quick. “I’m deep in debt from Sonny and every day he digs me further in. I can’t afford a divorce lawyer and I can’t afford bankruptcy – because that too requires a lawyer. Since you want to sign a
contract
with me, I think it’s only fair that you’re aware of my debts as well.”

He snapped his fingers, relief making him almost silly.
Every objection she lobbed his way, he demolished.

A large part of him was disappointed that she didn’t say anything about love herself. If she wanted to keep it business, that was fine. It just stung his pride – and his own vulnerable feelings – hearing her discuss it so businesslike.

“That’s it? Debt? I don’t care how much money you owe, I guarantee, I have lots more.” Ronan lifted his eyebrows and thrust his jaw out, determined to get her to marry him. The next challenge, after meeting the conditions that Robbie had set forth, would be to help Kelsey remember how much she loved him before. “If that’s all your objections, I think we have a deal.” He reached out his hand to shake hers, satisfied that she’d reached the end of her problems and that he had resolved them all.

Maybe he could get them to the place of fun before they became so wrapped up in their problems, they forgot the attraction that held them together so long ago.

She stared at his hand, then
turned her gaze to him.

Ronan cocked his head to the side.
What else could he say to make her see reason? “Kelsey, this makes sense. You don’t have a job, or a home, or any other options. I’m offering you stability, the chance at happiness. You don’t have to love me, if you can’t. I promise.

“
We loved each other before. We have an amazing chemistry between us which will make it easier to try having children. I will never raise my hand to you. I think we could be happy as a family. You loved me once. Couldn’t you consider marriage to me? At least for a little bit? All I’m asking for is some time until I can secure the land as mine and potentially get an heir. That’s it.” He had to stop begging. Nothing gave the other person more control. He longed to shake the answer out of her mouth, but he waited.

She pushed at his chest with her finger. “Yes, I did love you. But you chose this land over me. Your parents told you to leave me and you did it.” Her lip quivered. “You might be offering me so much, but you took a lot away when you couldn’t stick up for us back then.” She dashed tears from her eyes.

Ronan clenched his jaw, anguish twisting at his gut. “Is that your answer? No? Because of what I did when I was younger? I can’t fix that, I know. But I’m sorry my honesty hurt you. Those were the circumstances facing me. I wasn’t strong enough.” He leaned down so his forehead rested on hers. He closed his eyes, desperate to try to recapture something of what they’d lost. Until he’d seen her again at the casino, he hadn’t realized how truly lonely he’d been. “Kelsey, marry me. Please.”

She drew back, angu
ish and uncertainty on her face, and more than anger. “I can’t.” She rushed forward to grab his wrist as he pulled away. “No, it’s not that I won’t or can’t for good. I just need a little time to consider everything, okay? This is a lot when just yesterday I was dealing with my dad nagging me to work more shifts and now I’m here and I’ve had to leave that… my… world behind. It’s… a little much, you know?”

Sympathy had him turn his hand over and grip her fingers.
She’d always brought out the caring side of him. He pressed her fingers with his. “It’s scary, I get that. But it’s not permanent. I’ll even draw up something where you’ll get money for being with me for a specified length of time, if you decide we won’t work.”

The memory of
when she’d shared her biggest fear with him in the twilight of a football game replayed for Ronan at the same time bitterness swept her face.

In the next moment, Ronan rushed on – obviously he’d spoken out of turn.
“No, Kelsey, me paying you money does not make you a whore. I am not paying you for sex. I’m paying you to be my wife – it’s an entirely different thing.”

And it had to be. Because how else would he find a woman to be his wife for such selfish reasons? He wasn’t dumb
. Even with all his money, appearances, and land, he’d never meet another woman who wouldn’t be completely wrapped up in his money and not about kids. Like his soon-to-be-ex-wife He needed a mother for his children. And someone who might one day love him.

Kelsey’s raw pain had been evident when she’d spoken of having children. Even if they didn’t stay married, she’d be
the kind of mother who would
love
their children.

Ronan needed that for his babies. Wanted nothing less.
“Maybe I’m still a little drunk because I’m thinking this couldn’t be simpler. People around here wouldn’t think it was out of the ordinary because of our history —”

“Exactly, R.J.
Our history. I’m more than half-Salish. What the hell would your parents say, if they were here? Aren’t you worried about ruining your line?” She uncrossed her arms and returned to thrumming her fingers on the granite countertop. Irritation chopped her words in crisp patches.

Something he’d said or done had pissed her off.

Ronan shrugged.
Truth was, the question reeked of validity. The way they’d parted had been less than fair or amiable. He’d never stopped regretting it. “Mom and Dad aren’t around anymore. I don’t need genealogy to secure the land. I just need to be married and produce an heir. With you, I’ll fulfill my obligations.” Plus… there was the intense need to see if they would fit in each other’s arms like they used to.

“
Do you know how medieval this sounds? I understand this is how the ranching lifestyle is but… Okay, you keep saying we’re to have children. If, and I mean
if
, I do this, I want a trial period of one month. No baby talk, nothing, no pressure. Just time to figure out if we can handle living under the same roof together. Okay? Can you handle that?” She swallowed and Ronan found the lines of her collarbones extremely sexy.

“Didn’t you wonder how you got where you were this morning?”
He stepped close to her, reaching the few inches to trace the line of her neck to the hollow just above the beginning of her cleavage. He lowered his voice, sticking to the honest and blunt tactic he’d started. “I undressed you, Kelsey, and got you into bed. I’m not ashamed to admit it was a beautiful experience. One I’d like to repeat, again and again. But next time with you awake. We can do time, but we have to do it married. I’m sorry. If at the end of the trial period, you want out, we’ll get an annulment.” Yeah, like he’d let her go after he finally got to have her.

Torture was giving a dying man his life back and then snatching it away.

Excitement at touching her roughed up his voice as it tightened the muscles around his jaw. Softly stern, Ronan continued. “So if you agree and we get married, there are some things you
will
be expected to do.”

Kelsey held up a finger. “Wait. I read this book before.” She pinned him with her gaze. “You want me to be a biddable and loving wife for however long, is that right?” She arched her eyebrow and crossed her arms.