Sorrow's Peak (Serpent of Time Book 2) (54 page)

They were not his people, even as they were, and that realization made him feel both peaceful and sad.

The crypts themselves were wide and long, but beyond them it was several miles through tight, twisted and often claustrophobic tunnels winding upward and toward the surface. He didn’t need a mate bond with Lorelei to feel her terror. She mumbled all the way through the caverns, promising herself she was almost through it. How he longed to comfort her, as her mate offered no such placation. Finn was paranoid, on guard as he searched every shadow for the giant spiders Alanuuin warned them about.

No spiders attacked, but evidence of their presence existed in loose-hanging strands of sticky, white web dangling wrapped pods that surely contained large dogs and possibly deer.

When at last the cavern opened into daylight, even he felt grateful to see the actual sun and not some weary illusion held together by magic. The freshness of the air filled his lungs as he breathed in and lifted his face into the subtle salt tinge of the distant sea still clinging to the wind. It mingled with the heavy scent of pines from the needle-laden trees shrouding the cave and making the late afternoon feel more like evening.

Four elven sentries waited in the clearing, guarding their horses and the back passage into Nua Duaan, and they bowed to the seer’s young apprentice with the same reverence he had seen in men as they bowed to kings. They rose only when the boy acknowledged them with a nod and made quick gesture for them to stand.

“Was there any trouble?” Alanuuin asked.

“A band of Urokaar came through this way early this morning, heading south. Our illusions held and there was no confrontation.” The sentry turned his attention on Lorelei before continuing. “I would advise you to take caution on the road. I know you have only one mage, but if he is able to maintain a cloaking spell while traveling, it would be in your best interest until you are well away from the road to Port Felar.”

“I will take that under advisement.” Ignoring their slight, Bren didn’t make eye contact when he replied, but shoved past them and headed toward the horses.

Maintaining a constant cloaking spell would be taxing, but he could do it. He worried it would exhaust him beyond recall long before they arrived at their destination, making him useless to his companions in a fight. He really did need to make himself sleep more.

A temporary sense of relief filled him when Hrafn croaked from the trees above the horses, then fluttered down to land on the arm Bren stretched to receive him. His mind filled with a flourish of imagery, meaningless pictures of all the bird witnessed while they were parted, including a glimpse of the orcs mentioned by the sentries.

Being parted from his avian companion was always taxing on his soul, even if only for a couple of days. Unfortunately, their reunion would be short-lived, as he would have to send him west, back to Dunvarak with word he’d prepared for Hodon announcing the impending arrival of Alvarii troops.

While Lorelei said farewell to their guide, Bren enjoyed his brief interlude with Hrafn, feeling uplifted and almost hopeful for the first time in days. Just when he was starting to feel comfortable and whole again, he attached the missive to the bird’s leg and held him out to admire him. He need not say words. Hrafn knew they were parting ways again and the raven lamented his departure with a cooing caw that echoed through the valley, making the mage ache inside.

He knew there would not be time enough for the bird to rejoin them on the road to Sorrow’s Peak. Surely, he could face whatever enemy waited them there without his companion, but he did not want to. Hrafn made him feel stronger, more complete. His absence would be a distraction, and not for the first time he found himself wondering if not having Hrafn with him during that battle was the catalyst preventing him from keeping Finn alive.

Hrafn was his strength, and as much as he wanted to do the right thing, as awful as the things Gwendoliir showed him during his meeting with the King Under the City, Brendolowyn struggled to let go of his unnatural and unhealthy attachment to a woman he didn’t even know.

When the time came, would he be able to do the right thing? Alvariin’s grace, he hoped so.

Glancing toward the U’lfer, he watched the broad-shoulder warrior attempt to rebond with his mount, his gaze flitting toward a bemused Lorelei and resting there for a moment. The sun’s light parted through the dense treetops, cascading across her hair and illuminating gold and amber highlights. The smile she wore could light the world, he thought, and as it dawned on him that though she’d blessed him with many a grin since they’d become friends, never once had she smiled at him quite the way she did while watching Finn.

She was in love with the wolf. He’d seen it in her eyes that morning when she snuck from Finn’s room just as he was exiting his own quarters. He didn’t know what happened behind that closed door, and while it was certainly none of his business, the thought plagued him all morning. They… belonged together. It pained him to accept that. Losing Finn made it impossible for her to complete the task she was required to perform, and while he had a difficult time imagining why in the world that big, dumb oaf was such an important part of her life, he was coming to understand despite his personal heartache, standing in the way of what they had would be devastating.

They swore to protect one another, to offer their own life if it meant saving one of their companions. He only hoped there was enough time to intervene before Finn did something stupid enough to get himself killed. He hated that he was expected to protect the man who would be living the life, the very future, he himself desired more than anything, but for Lorelei he would do what needed to be done. His love for her, as unnatural and strange as it was, could not be selfish.

Drawing his hood up, his eyes trained on the dwindling black dot in the sky, growing smaller as it headed west. He felt so empty inside, and the only thing left that made him feel whole was drifting away from him on the wind.

They set out from the cavern exit with only a few hours of daylight left. All three of them remained relatively silent as they traveled north, off the road and within a protective veil of magic Brendolowyn struggled to maintain. There was no sign of other travelers on the road, save for worn and dusty footprints headed southeast, toward the sea and the port. Orc smell still lingered on the wind, an aftermath of their having traveled that way. It made the horses uncomfortable and skittish, but they pressed on and the magic continued to drain him until he felt like a mere husk of flesh and meager bone.

It was an exhausting task, maintaining a cloaking spell while they traveled, and with his mind distracted as it was by Hrafn’s absence, what he’d witnessed earlier that morning and the task before them, it was a small wonder he kept his focus at all. The silver energy surrounding them, a bubble-like protection only he could see, cast several feet beyond their movement to compensate for the horses’ stride. It wavered and flickered with each distracted thought, barely protecting them at all, and when Lorelei spoke his name just near sundown to signal she wanted to stop for the night, the barrier winked out entirely as if he had no control over it.

He’d never been gladder to hear the U’lfer say he needed to hunt than he was that night. His absence would give Bren time to replenish his energy in order to lift the barrier around their camp.

It took a lot out of him to brood over things he couldn’t, or rather shouldn’t, change or try to control.

Finn slid off his horse, handed the reins to Lorelei and took off into the unfamiliar woods before she could call after him to be careful.

Even after she dropped down and tethered their horses to a nearby tree, Brendolowyn lingered on horseback, too tired himself to dismount. At first she didn’t seem to notice, as she went about unpacking their tents. She was unrolling the first one before she glanced over her shoulder, saw him still aback his horse and tilted her head. Worry creased her brow.

“You’ve been quiet all day, Bren. Are you all right?”

The answer to that question was simple enough, but he had no right to give it to her. He was not all right, and in no way could he conceive of a version of the world in which they lived that he would ever be all right. He let his leg slide toward the needled earth below, stretching the muscles in his thighs before bringing the other foot down. He patted the neck of his mount affectionately before wrapping the reins around his hand and leading him toward the other horses.

She said nothing at first, watching him with the same puzzled, fretful look, but when he turned back toward her to help setup camp, she freed her tongue. “Are you not speaking to me now?”

“What?” he startled. “No… I mean, yes, of course I’m speaking to you. I’m just tired.”

“You’ve barely spoken to me all day,” she pointed out. “I was beginning to wonder if you were upset about this morning.”

“It takes a lot out of me to maintain magic so constantly.”

Ignoring her question, he didn’t have to draw the event to mind to know exactly what she was referring to. The image had been there all day, the startled, almost guilty look on her face when she glanced up to see him standing in the hallway. As he’d turned to walk away before she could say anything, that flash of guilt nearly made him feel better. Nearly, but not quite.

It shouldn’t have bothered him at all, considering she and Finn spent every night in the same tent together since he met them, but there was something altogether different about two people sharing a private room when they didn’t have to. At Logren’s, it had been different. He stayed away, had the distinct impression Finn would never be so bold as to defile her under her brother’s roof.

Had they been intimate? Had she finally committed herself to her mate?

It was none of his business, and he knew it, but when she went to note, “I see you’re avoiding my question,” he couldn’t help but wonder why she wanted to make it his business. It wasn’t purposeful, but it felt like she’d gripped the hilt of a knife already aching in his gut and wrenched it inside him.

“Where you rest your head is none of my affair, my lady.” He did not look up at her, though he could feel her eyes on him, almost imagine the thoughtful tilt of her head and the sudden flash of sadness in her gaze.

“No,” she agreed, “you’re right. It isn’t, but I can’t help feeling…” The words died on her lips, dwindling into silence just before she shrugged a shoulder toward her ear and dropped back down to finish the task she’d started.

He thought that was the end of it, but several minutes passed and she resumed the thread.

“Since the two of us met, I’ve felt a strange rapport with you, and perhaps it was wrong of me to assume we were friends, but…”

A startled gasp caught in his chest, “No,” he insisted. “You were not wrong, Lorelei. We are friends and I care for you a great deal…” More than she could ever know, it seemed.

“But it bothers you,” she asked, “my relationship with Finn?”

“As I’ve already said, it is none of my business.”

“I may not know much about the world or the way it works, and before I left Rivenn the only friend I had was my own sister, but I do know as my friend my sister would think the details of my life were more than just her business. She would make those details her own.”

“As she is your sister, I suppose I would expect no less from her.” The tightness he felt in his chest increased with the mention of her sister, the ribs around his heart feeling as if someone set them in a vise and turned the crank. She had no idea the things he knew about her sister, the girl’s whereabouts, the plans the Alvarii had for her future. He felt awful keeping it from her, and when she discovered how close she’d been to the girl, when she realized he’d known she would never forgive him.

“What about as a friend? I can’t stop thinking about the things you said last night,” she confessed. “You haven’t told me much about how I supposedly saved you, but you said last night I showed you a future that wasn’t meant to be, that Finn wasn’t a part of it.”

“I never should have said that.”

“Maybe not, but you did, Bren.”

“If I could take it back, I would…”

“I wouldn’t want you to take it back. What I want is for you to tell me why I felt a bond with you the night I met you for the first time on Great Sontok, and what that has to do with why you don’t like Finn. What did I show you the night I saved you?”

“Nothing of great consequence.”

“I had not thought you a liar all this time.”

“Lorelei, if I say it doesn’t matter, you must believe me.”

For a moment she said nothing, and though she hadn’t lifted her head to look at him she didn’t have to. “I don’t believe you.”

“Then I am sorry for that.”

He already said far more than he should have when he told them the mistakes of past attempts ended with Finn’s death, that it was his fault. Yovenna warned him hundreds of times over the years on the dangers of knowing one’s future, the atrocities that might come if he were to speak of such things; such an alteration of the outcome of events could be downright devastating. He only knew he couldn’t risk it happening again for the sake of the rest of the world.

Yovenna promised he would find even greater love in doing the right thing, a love more powerful than the emotional bond of two people clinging to one another out of desperation, guilt and grief. He wasn’t quite sure he even knew what love was, or if he deserved it.

Loving Lorelei was the most complicated and harrowing aspect of his life since he woke on the frigid shores of Rimian. She’d been little more than a ghost of a woman who came with the promise of things that could never be, and yet even before he saw her standing fierce before them below Great Sontok, a shield in front of her that was almost as big as she was, he loved her with the greatest part of himself. The essence of memory clicked, and in some small way he knew at she’d stolen a part of him he would never get back the day she saved his life.

At times he didn’t know if he should thank her, or curse her for it.