Sorrow's Peak (Serpent of Time Book 2) (52 page)

“With proper dedication and training, yes, but surely you have other, more pressing matters you’d like to discuss with me.”

“I suppose I do, yes.” Clearing the ache from her throat, they walked on for quite a ways before she finally found the courage to ask what was really on her mind. “Is there… really a piece of a god inside me?”

“If the stories are true, there is.”

“Why didn’t Yovenna tell me? And please, don’t use the whole excuse that revealing things could change them in unsavory ways. I’m supposed to change things, aren’t I? The more I know, the easier it will be.”

The seer did not answer right away, and when she chanced a glance up at him she watched his face contort in deep thought as he carefully chose his words. “I do not know why Yovenna chose to withhold that from you, considering she shared with you the nature of your task. Perhaps she was not meant to tell you.”

“That is sort of a cheap excuse, I think.”

“Maybe it is, but it is not my excuse to make, Lorelei. My awarenesses are my own, some of them are glimpses of Yovenna, yes, but to try and guess her personal motivations would be foolish on my part. I am many things, young woman. Old among them, but I do not deign often to foolishness.”

“I’m sorry, I did not mean…”

“Do not apologize. You have every right to ask these questions. I am simply not the one to answer them for you.”

Once more they were quiet, the rolling hush of the sea sweeping in along the shore coupling with gull cries as they walked. Her thoughts felt like the sea inside her mind, barreling in, racing back out before she could grasp them and form valid questions that would actually help her in the long run.

“All right, so this cycle we are trapped in, how many times have we done it? Obviously I’m not capable of carrying out the task required if we have to keep repeating it. Wouldn’t it make more sense for Heidr to choose another champion?”

“The cycle has endured for time immemorial. There are none who yet live that remember when the curse was cast, and the keeping of the ancient tomes is inalterable as far as we know. Time and again we are presented with the same information, the same set of circumstances, and as seers we are granted sporadic glimpses at a clear path to the end of events. The consequences could prove disastrous if we were to share too much of what we see…”

“Right, I get that, but how could consequences be any more disastrous than failure and repetition of the cycle? Isn’t the whole point to break the cycle?”

“It is our nature as mortal beings to perceive time in a linear fashion, meaning we believe it moves in a forward continuum, starting at the beginning, going through the middle and arriving at the end of each life. We measure our days in forward moving time, by the minute, hour, day, month, year… But what we often fail to take into consideration are the branches that occur in between those linear patterns. The slightest deviation from a clear path alters the foreseen outcome, and so a seer’s ability to predict those outcomes is a grave responsibility. A single hesitation, the most minute alteration of events could be disastrous.”

“I understand, but I can’t help thinking it might work to my advantage, to everyone’s advantage, to know where I went wrong so I can avoid making the same mistakes. Don’t we want to change the outcome? Isn’t that our goal?”

“Has it occurred to you since you started down this path it was not you who deviated from it and altered the outcome?”

“Well… no.” Though she instantly thought of Brendolowyn’s admission the night before. He said it was his fault Finn did not return from Sorrow’s Peak. “But even if it was not me who went wrong, it shouldn’t matter in the end. Yovenna said I was born to face the serpent. You told me my father bargained with Heidr and my journey was part of His plan. If I don’t see that through and the cycle isn’t broken, that is my fault. Is it not?”

“Perhaps,” he mused, “but I do not think that is so.”

They walked several paces without speaking. Lorelei listened to the hush of waves across the sand and tried to imagine how someone went their whole life without ever hearing that sound. It was the most peaceful, beautiful thing she’d ever heard and even if she never saw the sea again, the memory alone would be enough to grant her solace in times of doubt.

“What if I told you Yovenna’s interpretation of events was not entirely accurate?”

“What do you mean?”

“Yovenna told you once you take back the Horns of Llorveth, it is up to you to summon the Tid Ormen and slay it. That much is true, but what if the reason you are unable to face and destroy the serpent is because
you
are not whole when the time comes to stand against it?”

“Because the wolf lies dormant inside me?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Your wolf will rise when it is time. This I have seen. What I speak of are the events to come after. You must be whole in order to face the Tid Ormen and defeat it.”

“Whole? What exactly does that mean?”

“At the present moment part of you is missing,” he explained. “If that part of who you are is not embraced before the time comes, you will fail.”

“You’re talking about Finn, aren’t you?”

“It is a strange thing,” he mused with a thoughtful grin, “the bond between mates. The concept is not altogether unfamiliar and alien to my people, but we have no such restrictions on our hearts.”

He allowed that thought to linger between them for several steps before going on, and in that short time Lorelei’s mind was abuzz. She was only just coming to accept the bond between them, letting go of her resentment over not having a choice regarding their future together. She’d spent so much of her life being told what to do, what her duties were as a daughter of kings. Discovering over the last few weeks a piece of her belonged to someone else made her feel constricted and stifled in the same way King Aelfric’s dictatorship over her future had, but what she had with Finn…

She’d been slowly coming to understand it was different.

He wasn’t just an inevitable future to resign herself to. He was a part of her, a missing piece she’d felt the absence of her entire life.

“Perhaps someone else already explained this to you, so if that is the case feel free to stop me. I am an old man, and I find wasting my breath something I do far less than I once did.”

“No one’s really explained it to me at all. Finn tried, but… I don’t know, he didn’t do a very good job, and the people of Dunvarak just pushed us together because that was how it was supposed to be. I mean, I’ve figured out most of it for myself. Finn and I are…bonded, I guess. Two halves of the same whole. Is that right?”

“U’lfer are born incomplete, and it is part of your life’s journey to find the other half of your soul. That is a beautiful thing, but complex in that losing a piece of yourself will leave you… unfinished, so to speak. If something were to happen to your mate, before or after your bond is established, you will remain incomplete. You cannot face the serpent if you are incomplete.”

“Wow.” She stopped walking, her feet shuffling through the sand, digging in a little deeper until she swore she could feel the dampness of it seeping into the toes of her boots. “That… wow. No pressure, or anything.”

“I imagine it is strange to you, because you are not full-blooded U’lfer. If all I’ve learned over the years is true, a mated pair needs no convincing. There is very little in the way of courtship when one finds the other half of their soul, but you seem to have some reservations about your connection to Finn.”

“It’s not that I have reservations. I just… I’m not ready for something like that, for some lifelong commitment.”

“A natural discovery of one another, as it were, is half the beauty of such a bond. I have always envied the U’lfer that. Though I don’t suppose you and Finn were given much time to discover one another naturally at all. You were forced together by circumstances beyond your control, and I imagine you’ve found yourself questioning it, as well as struggling with it.”

She didn’t know why she was being so open with him. Maybe the kindness in his eyes reminded her of Pahjah, or maybe it was just his nature, but she trusted the man walking beside her. More than that, she respected him.

“All my life I’ve been told I had to do this or that because it was my duty. I finally get away from my oppressive father’s hand, only to discover I am obligated to do the bidding of the gods. And I don’t even get a choice in who I fall in love with. They have their sticky fingers in that too. So yes, I struggle with it.”

“That is understandable, of course. You are little more than a child yet, but even a man who has lived as long as I can tell you firsthand life is short, Lorelei. Yesterday I was an apprentice looking for ways to escape my master’s scrutiny and have a little fun. One of these very near tomorrows I’ll be dead.”

“Please don’t say that,” she fretted. “I am already terrified for your life. Every seer I’ve met since I escaped the caravan has wound up dead within days of meeting me.”

“We all die, Lorelei, but that is not the point. The point is, you may resent your lack of choice, but one day you will regret even more how little time you actually had together.”

“I do care for him,” she said. “A great deal more than I expected to. I’d even go so far as to say I’m in love with him, but I question it because how much of it is real and how much was preordained?”

“Who is to say all emotional feelings aren’t preordained on some level we can’t even begin to understand?”

“Are they?”

“I know a great many things, but I would be lying if I said I knew that. I only know the two of you were meant for one another. He has an essential role to play if the cycle is to be broken.”

“So if something happens to Finn before I face the serpent, I will fail?”

“You cannot face the Tid Ormen alone, Lorelei.”

It was more information than any of the seer’s she’d met over the last few weeks gave her. She wanted to run back to the manor house, grab Finn and run far, far away, but they couldn’t do that, could they?

“What if we never wake the serpent?”

The sound of his laughter surprised her, made her feel foolish and silly to even suggest such a thing was possible. “Even attempting to avoid waking the serpent would wake the serpent. There is no way around it, I am afraid.”

“Then I guess there’s nothing for us to do but move forward.”

“And stay alive,” he agreed. “You must stay alive, work together no matter what. Facing the drakoren will be dangerous, even as time and solitude have weakened and distorted its mind. They are reputable enemies, and the coming of three fresh minds upon which to prey will empower it in ways it has not felt for years.”

“But it can be defeated? We’ve defeated it before, right?”

“At a great loss, but so long as you work together, yes. There can be no enmity between you when you face it, no distrust. Not even below the surface. It will dig deep inside you, draw everything you fear, everything you think and feel and fuel itself with those negative emotions. If there is tension between you now, you must all make amends before you reach the Valley of Sorrows, or it will be your undoing and the cycle will remain unbroken.”

Lorelei and the seer walked the morning away together before finally returning to the manor house. He regretfully parted ways with her in the garden, where Finn and Bren anxiously sat together at the table, neither of them having touched the food on the plates in front of them during her unexplained absence.

Finn sat up straight from a slouch as they came into the gates laughing. His narrowed and suspicious blue eyes glared across the endless green at their host. Brendolowyn seemed equally disturbed to find she’d wandered off with the seer, but no one said anything at all when the old Alvarii took her shoulders in his hands and leaned forward to kiss her on each cheek.

“I have absolute faith in you, Lorelei. You may not know your strengths just yet, but you will discover them precisely when you need to.”

“I wish I had as much faith in me as you seem to, Seer.”

Before he left, Gwendoliir bid them farewell and said, “You are always welcome in Nua Duaan, fair Light of Madra. I hope you and your companions will take rest here on your return journey from Sorrow’s Peak.”

“Thank you, Gwendoliir, for everything.” She lowered her head in respect. “We will take you up on your offer.”

“Fervaal.”

No one said anything until after he departed. The servants set to see to their needs lingered in the yard, stiffly posed several feet away from the table and staring straight ahead, as if the garden itself were empty.

Lorelei drew a chair away from the table, slid into it and scooted toward her place setting. She actually felt hungry for the first time in a long time, but she had a feeling neither of her companions was going to allow her much peace. She kept waiting for Finn to leap out of the chair and demand to know where she’d been, but it was Brendolowyn who rose from his chair, craned his neck over the fence and then dismissed the servants.

“We…”

“Are not needed for now,” he cut off the stiff-necked woman before she could intervene on their behalf. “We have food and drink aplenty, and I cannot foresee any purpose for you to remain and eavesdrop on our conversations. You are dismissed.”

“Bren…”

Issuing his hand toward her in a commanding gesture, she leaned back stunned in her chair and watched gape-mouthed as the servants took their leave one-by-one.

“Bren, what…”

“I’ve no wish for every detail we speak of to find its way back to the seer.”

“We have something to hide now? We came here seeking his help.”

“And he helped us as much as he can. Beyond that… I don’t know. They say they’ll help us, but I don’t trust them. Why did he take you off on your own? What did he want from you?”

“Nothing,” she shrugged. “He just wanted to give me opportunity to ask any questions I might still have about what we face at Sorrow’s Peak, that’s all.”

When she sat down, she’d actually felt hungry for the first time in days, but Brendolowyn’s demeanor immediately culled her appetite. A strange amount of resolution came with openly accepting the idea that she and Finn were meant for one another, that without him she could not move forward. “And?” he pressed, still not returning to his seat. “What did you talk about? Did he provide you with anything useful?”