[Southern Arcana 2.0] Crossroads (17 page)
“Yeah. I don’t blame myself, not for that. I was too young to be everything a seventeen-year-old kid needed, but I did what I could.” His fingers traced away from her shoulder, smoothed down along her spine. “It’s not being able to protect her. I spent all that time letting Alec kick me around so I’d be good in a fight, and it’s still not enough.”
“Then maybe it’s time to let go. Stop thinking you should be able to protect her and teach her to protect herself.”
“Maybe.” He sounded doubtful. “She’s never going to be as fast or as strong as us. Jackson may not be a shifter, but he’s got spells and magic. I just wish I could get her the hell out of this life.” Kat’s empathy was strong enough to place her outside the rest of humanity, whether Derek liked it or not. “Where would you have her go?”
“Damned if I know. If I had a clue what I was doing, Nick, I’d probably be sleeping.” She pulled free of his arm and sat up. “That’s what I mean. Doesn’t
she
get to decide?” She’d spent her life having everyone else plan her future—where she needed to go, what she needed to do—and it sucked.
“Don’t look at me like that.” Derek rubbed the side of his face and blew out a tired breath. “Of course she gets to decide. I’m an overprotective bastard, but I’m not
that
bad, am I?”
“Good intentions don’t change the outcome.” They never had in her family, anyway.
“Are we still talking about Kat, sweetheart?”
“Maybe not.” She toyed with the edge of the comforter. “I can sympathize. With you, for wanting to protect her. With Kat, for wanting to live her own life.”
Derek caught her fingers and tugged them up to rest on his chest. “No one could ever think you haven’t lived your life on your own terms.”
Of course she had. What no one expected was that she’d continue to do so. “Most people who care to think about me consider my entire adult life a rebellious phase I just have to get through before I settle down.”
“Aren’t there
any
well-bred shapeshifter kids who run off to join the circus?” His sudden laugh shook the bed. “Except Alec. God, thinking of him as well bred actually hurts a little.”
“It really isn’t funny.” She pulled her hand away. “Haven’t you figured it out? New Orleans
is
the circus.”
His laughter faded. “Just you and Alec?”
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Moira Rogers
“Alec doesn’t count. His family would be ecstatic if he took an interest in politics, mostly because they’ve been trying to claw their way up to the Conclave for fifty years.”
“Oh.” He tucked his hand behind his head and studied her silently. “Sometimes I forget the shapeshifter royalty thing. I mean, I don’t forget that your family’s important…but I forget how many people know you. Have expectations for you.”
It was the furthest thing from the truth she could think of. “They have expectations, but they don’t know me.”
“Know
of
you, I meant.” A gentle smile, almost shy. “I like to think I’m getting to know you.” That he seemed so glad to have that chance humbled her. “So what do you expect of me?”
“Hmm…” His free hand swept over her shoulder. “Expect, or want? Because one of those is nice and polite and boring, and the other might get my mouth washed out with soap.” He was teasing her, and it was impossible to maintain her dour mood in the face of it. Nick leaned over him, letting her hair brush his skin. “Tell me both.”
“I expect you’ll continue to be a sweet, open, caring woman who helps her friends whenever she can.” He lowered his voice—and his hand, until his fingers traced along the curve of her hip. “I want to see if we can use the rest of that box of condoms we bought in one night. I bet you’d sleep then.” Arousal shivered through her, echoed by need. “Your plan is to fuck me unconscious?”
“Hell, no. That’s crude. My plan—” His arm latched around her waist and he rolled her until she was curled on her side, her back pressed tight to his chest. “Is to fuck us
both
unconscious.”
“Oh, good. That’s far less crude.” She reached up and ran her fingers through his hair as she stretched slowly.
“Mmm. Can you reach the condoms? Before we forget them this time?”
“We’re not going to forget them.” She dug through the bedside table anyway. His mouth found the back of her shoulder, and one hand smoothed around to cup her breast. There was something different in his touch this time, all of the need and passion, but none of the frantic urgency.
It let her relax against him and enjoy the heat of his skin on hers. “Slow?”
“As slow as we can manage.”
“Mm-hmm.” That had been hit or miss over the last week. Control always dissolved for one or both of them at some point, sweeping them away in a furious haze of desire.
He chuckled, his breath stirring against her shoulder blade. “You doubting me?” She shivered. “We don’t have the best track record when it comes to slow, sweet love.”
“Math of mating,” he murmured, then slid lower. His tongue teased back up her shoulder to the base of her neck, where he made slow a hundred times more difficult by closing his teeth on her nape.
Nick couldn’t
not
squirm against him. “That’s cheating.” 96
Crossroads
“Thought we covered that during the strip poker, baby.” Another bite, harder this time, accompanied by a soft growl. “I’m a cheater.”
“Yet you have everyone convinced you’re such an upstanding man.”
“Maybe you’re the only thing I want bad enough to cheat for.” Her laugh was shockingly breathless. It took him a matter of seconds to leave her tense and trembling, and the sudden urge to do the same thing to him overtook her. Nick turned in his arms and draped one leg over his hip. “There you go with the cheating again, when all you have to do is ask.”
“Oh, is that all?” He caught the back of her head and whispered the words against her lips. “Nicky Peyton, can we make with the dirty hot fucking?”
She bit his lip with a moan. “That’s why we can’t do slow. You say things like that.” Derek urged her over until she was stretched out on the cotton sheets, arms above her head, and pressed the box of condoms into her hands with a low, wicked laugh. “Hold on to those. I’m gonna be busy for a bit.”
She tossed the box on the bed with another laugh and drove her fingers into his hair. “Poor baby.
Haven’t I told you I’m bad at following directions?”
“So you want me to stop?”
It was the last thing she wanted, and she told him so with a pleading twist of her body. He teased her when he touched her, his fingertips skating over her stomach and hips and down her legs.
She endured it as long as she could, but she wound up bracing her hands on his shoulders and flipping him onto his back with a growl. “What if I want to be busy?”
“Well, I don’t have any
particular
objections…” His hands landed on her hips, fingers spanning to cup her ass. “Oh yeah, this is nice.”
“I bet.” His size and strength tripped some primal response, and her basest instincts rose. She wanted to test him, to push until he proved himself strong enough to handle her. “Tell me what stopped you before.”
“Stopped me from doing what, when?”
“Me. Ever.”
The restless movement of his hands stilled. Sounds filled the silence, the soft tick of the fan, his heartbeat strong and steady in his chest and the rough sound of his breaths. Finally he sighed. “I was scared. Scared that I wanted you for the wrong reasons, and that I’d fuck it up before I could get the right ones straight under all the instinct.”
It wasn’t terribly different from her own reasons, and the realization was oddly soothing. Nick leaned down and kissed him gently. “Me too.”
“And?” He rubbed both hands over her lower back. “Still scared?” www.samhainpublishing.com
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Moira Rogers
Her answer surprised her. “Yes. But now I’m scared because we waited so long, and things are so crazy…”
“Things won’t be like this all the time.” There was no doubt in his voice, or in the strong touch at her back, holding her against him.
She tucked her face against his neck and murmured, “I don’t want you to fuck me unconscious.” It felt almost like a confession. “I want you to hold me.”
“Any time.” He wrapped both arms around her. “Any place. Forever.” Instinct eased as she relaxed and drank in his quiet strength. The need for comfort was as much a part of the mating drive as a craving for sex, but so much harder to satisfy. Finding someone to be a lover
and
a partner was far less common or simple than one or the other.
And yet here was Derek. She nestled closer. “Thank you.”
His chest vibrated under her cheek with his soft reply. “You’re welcome.” 98
Chapter Thirteen
Nick clenched her jaw as the door closed behind Aaron. Once again, she was being pulled into the backyard for a summit, one eerily reminiscent of the one Jackson had staged days earlier.
He’d made her say it out loud—
“I might not be able to fix this.”
She’d hated him for it at the time, and she wasn’t sure she felt much more charitable now. Still, she understood his motivations. They all needed her to understand what they were up against, the years of unwieldy tradition standing between them and Michelle’s happy ending.
Now Jackson was in Georgia, and the magic that had protected the safe house as they traveled back and forth was gone. It seemed Aaron understood the implications of that; they wouldn’t be able to make any more trips, and he and Michelle would be safe at the house, but mostly alone.
Nick forced herself to relax. “Did Michelle sleep at all last night?” He looked too tired to lie. “No. She played calm and in control for all she was worth until everyone left, then fell apart.” He slanted a look at her. “Please tell me you’re not about to join her in a duet of the Peyton guilt ballad, because I’m seriously not in the mood.”
“I practiced mine plenty on Derek already.” Nick ran a hand roughly through her hair and cursed.
“She’s going to kill herself if she doesn’t stop worrying, so we need to figure out how to make that happen.”
“That’s not why I dragged you out here, Nicole.” His gaze scanned the backyard, though it seemed mostly habit and not a conscious action. “We need to have a serious talk. You’re not going to like it, but I don’t give a damn.”
He never called her Nicole. She closed her eyes against his somber expression. “You’re not turning yourself in to protect Michelle and the baby. No way. Even if it would work, it would
kill
her, Aaron.”
“If turning myself in would keep Michelle and our baby safe, I would have already done it. But they’re not going to stop until they’ve got control of any children Michelle has, and that’s what I need to make sure never happens.” Aaron turned to look at her, and his eyes were dark. “If I can’t, you need to.
Because I’m not coming out of this alive. Michelle can’t face it, so you need to.” Her brain couldn’t process his words. This was Aaron, invincible, unstoppable
Aaron
, the man who’d been their protector even before Michelle had fallen in love with him. He was part of her family, and what he was saying was incomprehensible. “Shut up.”
Moira Rogers
“No.” Just one word, quiet and implacable, its hopelessness sharpened by the words that followed. “I knew this day would come the second I started having feelings for her. Falling in love with her made me a traitor.”
Incomprehensible…and true. “I’m going to find a way. Don’t get all fatalistic on me yet.” The corner of his mouth tugged up in a sad smile. “Happily ever after isn’t in the cards for me. I’ll fight like hell for it for Michelle’s sake, but I came to terms with this shit a long time ago.” Arguing was pointless and would squander time they didn’t have. “No one from the Conclave will ever touch Michelle or that kid,” she whispered. “I don’t care what I have to do.” Aaron’s rugged face relaxed, as if a weight had been lifted from him, but when he spoke, his voice sounded tortured. “I promised myself I’d never cross the line. I told myself I was a decade older and knew better and I’d never break her heart like this. But when she got hurt in that mess with Charles Talbot…
Instincts turn us all into idiots.”
A few weeks earlier, Nick wouldn’t have understood. “I get it. I get that nothing else matters.”
“I know you do.” He opened his eyes and reached out to muss her hair. “Little Nicky finally found a man who could handle her. Just so you know, he’s worth about ten of those prissy, well-bred jackasses back in New York.”
She launched herself at him and ended up with her arms around his rib cage in a tight, desperate hug.
“But maybe only one and a half of you.”
His arms closed around her and he kissed the top of her head. “You Peyton girls have too much life in you for civilized men of good lineage. God help Derek when he figures out what he’s in for.” His words stung, though she knew he hadn’t meant them that way. “Would you go back and do it differently? If you could?”
Would you walk away while you still had the chance?
“God damn me to hell for being a selfish bastard, but no. I should, to spare her what’s going to come…” His voice faded to a whisper. “She’s worth it. So are you, Nicole Peyton.” She freed one hand and swiped tears from her cheeks. “You’re an idiot, and I love you. I’ll take care of your family.”
“Never doubted it, shorty.” He glanced back toward the safe house with a tiny little smile. “I lay even odds that they’ve cooked up some sort of gourmet masterpiece by now, or that Michelle’s puking her guts out in the bathroom.”
They had to leave soon, and Nick sniffled. “Both. Derek whipped up the masterpiece while Michelle hung out in the bathroom.”
Aaron laughed and hugged her one more time before letting go. “I should know better than to gamble with a Peyton.”
“Nah. Some people never learn.”
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Crossroads
***
After spending half the morning in Alec’s basement, Derek had come to one conclusion: When the apocalypse came, be it zombies or alien invasion, Alec’s house was the place to be.