Southern Belles, a Novel About Love, Purpose & Second Chances (9781310340970) (20 page)

“I know. Mom said he’s just worried and
doesn’t know what to say.”

“That’s probably right. Your dad never knew
what to say when things made him the least bit uncomfortable. He
use to freeze up in front of your mother—he got so shy. He’s going
to come around.” She took another sip of her tea, “Nothing can take
away his love for you—definitely not you being pregnant with his
granddaughter.”

“Thanks Aunt Juanita. I just wish he would
talk to me. I feel like my life has hit the pause button. I’m
trying to accept where I’m at and I just want my dad back.”

“Give him time. He may be feeling like he’s
failed as a father too. Daddy’s like to think that they can protect
their daughter from all the bad and hurtful things out there. When
they realize that sometimes they can’t—they blame themselves.”

I hadn’t thought about that. Maybe he was
blaming himself for my pregnancy. It surely wasn’t his or my
mother’s fault. I simply gave into my heart and followed that
instead of the wise words and teachings from my parents. I made a
mistake. There was nothing more to it except maybe a little naivety
on my part.

“Thanks Aunt Juanita. I hadn’t thought of it
like that. My parents taught me right from wrong. They are not to
blame; it was Skylar’s blue eyes, big dimples, and sweet charm that
lured me from my senses.”

“Skylar, huh? Did you ever get a hold of
him?” She asked curiously.

“No, I was never able to. Every time I
called it either just rang or some Spanish-speaking lady answered.
I don’t even know if it was his actual phone number but I didn’t
think he would have given me some bunk phone number.”

“Maybe something happened; maybe he has a
maid who speaks Spanish.”

“I’d like to think that but he had my phone
number at home and mom said he never called me.”

“Okay. Are you sure one of your brothers
didn’t intercept any calls?” Aunt Juanita asked as she added more
tea to her glass.

“I don’t think so. I was really upset and my
brothers would have told me if some strange guy called especially
after Jewel busted me out at Christmas.” I said with a bit of
anger, in my voice, when I said Jewel’s name.

“Yeah, that wasn’t so nice of her. She knew
better than to do that. She was just trying to stir up some
trouble. She is such a PK kid.” My Aunt said, nodding her head.

“Who are you talking about?” My mom asked as
she walked in the room with Grandma Evi.

“Jewel,” I said.

“Yeah, how did she know about you being
pregnant?” My mom asked as she grabbed the two glasses of ice tea
for her and Grandma Evi.

“She tricked Richie, who found out by
accident, into telling her. She hugged me when she came in and from
there she started acting strangely. I think she might have felt my
little bump but I don’t really know.” I supposed.

“Hmm, that’s too bad she had to do that.” My
mom said with my Aunt agreeing.

“Her mom is praying for her. She’s been more
rebellious over the past few years. Her mom and dad have worried
about the influences in her life that are opposite to their
spiritual beliefs.” My mom said.

“Anyway, how was Paris?” I asked with
visions of the Eiffel Tower in my head.

“It was beautiful—cold this time of the
year.” She said, sipping her tea.

“I brought you and little Lucy something
back.”

Aunt Juanita always found the neatest things
from her travels. I was curious to see what she brought us back. A
moment later, Aunt Juanita walked back into the open living
room-kitchen area with a small pink bag and a package wrapped in
brown packing paper.

“When I saw these I knew they would be
perfect for a baby girl.” She said, handing me the pink bag with
white handles.

As I opened up the bag, carefully, I saw a
small package wrapped in white tissue paper. I quickly unrolled the
paper and inside found a pair of antique-looking knit booties in a
champagne color with rose-pink lace. They were so little and
girly.

“They’re so cute. You shouldn’t have but I’m
glad you did.” I said, holding them up for mom and Evi to see and
touch.

“Well, I’m very glad you like them. I
thought they were too precious to pass up.” She said, grinning as
she passed me the rectangular-shaped package with brown packing
paper. “I thought of you when I saw this. I thought it would
inspire you to keep pursuing your dreams despite any unexpected
blessings.”

I quickly pulled the tape off the brown
packing paper and removed it to reveal a beautiful Eiffel tower
bejeweled like that of a Christmas tree with soft white lights. In
the foreground the Seine River with a single boat floating
effortlessly reflected the nightscape humming the beauty
around.

“Wow this is gorgeous Juanita!” My mother
leaned forward for a closer look.

“Did you paint this one Aunt Juanita?” I
asked completely in awe of the splendor of Paris captured on
canvas.

“No. I was walking down the Seine River
boardwalk and saw this one on an easel. The artist was busy working
on another picture of the Notre Dame Cathedral and her work was
just stunning. I thought this would help propel you out of the
slump your mother mentioned over the phone.”

“I love it. It’s so beautiful.” I said
holding up the picture at an arm’s length to take in the view.

“This is meant to be a reminder that your
dreams are not lost— just on hold for a little bit.” My Aunt said
reaffirming my dreams of traveling the world.

“Thank you so much. I am going to hang it in
my room when I get home. And I was not in a slump, mom.” I said,
raising my eyebrows at her.

“What do you call it then?” My mother asked
smiling back at me.

“I’m just tired after being on my feet all
day, at the diner, and then running back and forth to school.” I
said snuggling up with a pillow on one of Aunt Juanita’s cozy
sofas, covered in pillows and soft fuzzy throws.

“Ahhh, that’s what that is. Okay, but I
think you’re missing CeCe too.” My mother suggested.

“How is CeCe?” Aunt Juanita wondered out
loud.

“She’s good—busy with all her school work
and her Tri-Delta girlfriends. We talk every week. She’s always
telling me about her adventures and the boys she’s met and the
parties they have with their sorority brothers. You know all that
exciting college stuff.”

“Do you miss her or college life most?” My
Aunt asked.

“I miss her a lot. I wish I were there with
her instead. I feel like I’m missing out on everything—like I got
short-changed. I’m back here working at a diner and going to a
community college with kids who didn’t try their hardest in school
to get to the school they dreamed about their whole life. I’m
knocked up by someone who doesn’t even know they are a daddy—like
some sort of Jerry Springer episode—that just keeps going and
going.”

“Charlotte, honey.” My mother said as she
reached over to me.

By this time I had started crying again and
couldn’t control the tears from coming. I was angry and sad and
frustrated all over again. A picture of CeCe dancing with some cute
frat guy at a party flashed in my mind. I hated being angry and
feeling sorry for myself but I just couldn’t shake the feeling that
I was getting the raw end of things here. I was mad that it was me
instead of CeCe in my place. I felt guilty for feeling this way. I
love CeCe and it’s not hers or Lucy’s fault. Lucy didn’t ask to be
born to me and CeCe didn’t get me pregnant. I was frustrated with
myself for admitting my feelings in front of my Aunt and my mother
and only cried harder the more I thought about everything I had
said even though it was exactly how I felt. I buried my head in the
pillows to cover my tears and blotchy-red face.

“Char, here’s some tissue.” My Aunt said
placing the tissue in one of my hands.

“I’m sorry. I don’t know why this is coming
out.” I said in a muffled, tear-soaked voice from under a
pillow.

“It’s okay Char. You’re upset—it’s good to
get it out. You don’t want to carry that bitterness inside of you.
Soon, you’re going to be a momma and a good one but you have to
make peace with the decisions you’ve made so you can focus on that
little one’s needs first. Your life is not over. The excitement is
just beginning. You’ll lose out on all the good things coming if
you get stuck in the past—thinking only about the things you think
you’ve missed.” My mother said firmly but tenderly.

“We Buchanan’s are strong women. We get mad,
we feel sorry for ourselves and then we get creative. We figure out
how to get what we want with what we have. We walk in the shadow of
the Lord who moves the mountains for us so we can reach our
destiny. You just have to enjoy the walk at whichever point you’re
at.” My Aunt said confidently.

I sat up and wiped my eyes off with the
tissue. I was still so sad inside but a sense of clarity came to me
and I was less angry. I listened closer to these wise women who’d
known me since I was in the womb.

“And in the words of a highly controversial
and famously beautiful woman, ‘sometimes things fall apart so that
better things can fall together’.” My mother smiled.

“Who—Madonna?” I questioned.

“No, she’s a bit more controversial.” My
Aunt said, knowing the quote. “Marilyn Monroe.”

“Oh wow, I didn’t know that; it’s a good
quote.” I sniffled.

“It’s true too.” My Aunt spoke up.

“Life is what we make it. You can either see
it as half-empty with broken dreams or half-full with endless
possibilities around the next corner. We can choose to look for the
good even in the challenging things in life. You have the power to
change your fate Charlotte Renee.” My mother said, sounding like an
inspirational poster.

“Okay ladies, who needs a little fresh air?
I’ll make some more ice tea and we can take this outside.” My Aunt
recommended as she headed back into the kitchen.

I sat there quietly while my Aunt and mother
bantered back and forth. Evi flipped through some of the magazines
on the coffee table, not really stopping to look at the pictures
for more than a second or two. I thought about what my mother had
said. It was all a matter of how I saw my life. I tried to picture
my future a few years from now. I hoped I would be at least half
way done with school. I wondered if I would ever run into Skylar.
What would I say? What would he do? I started to practice what I’d
say and then stopped—feeling it fruitless. There were billions of
people on the planet. I’d most likely never see him. Would there be
anyone else in my life? Would I still be living with my
parents—would I still be working at the diner? The wave of
questions drowned me in my thoughts. I guessed if I looked at my
future as if it couldn’t get any worse but maybe more interesting
or more exciting than it gave me something to look forward to
besides the pretty little baby I’d be meeting soon. CeCe would be
home again within a few weeks and I couldn’t wait to see her. I
just needed to hold on to all the good things I did have in my life
and stop crying over all the things I wished I had. Easier said
than done but I’ve always been up for a challenge.

Chapter 13: Practicing for Lucy

Awake
again and only 5:30 AM this time. I needed to figure out how to
change this baby’s sleeping habits before she came out thinking its
normal to wake up before the chickens. She went to bed late, moving
and kicking my bladder, and got up way before the sun. This little
one, growing in my tummy, already had a mind of her own. I rolled
onto my back, feeling slightly short of breath. I looked down and a
saw my belly rolling around while I laid still. Lucy was at it
again. She must think she’s a gymnast I thought—doing summersaults
and back flips, rearranging my ribs, bladder and everything else in
there. I saw a bulge ripple up and then to my right side. I rubbed
the little bulge and felt her gravitate towards my hand. It was
like she was trying to snuggle up under my hand. She was still
again. I was so tired. My hips were starting to hurt more when I
slept and kept me up a while before I could finally fall asleep. I
didn’t have work or school today and just wanted to sleep some
before CeCe arrived later tonight. I rubbed my belly again and
didn’t feel her moving around anymore. She must have gone back to
sleep. I yawned and closed my eyes.

“Charlotte, you have a phone call.” I
thought I heard my mother say. “Charlotte honey, CeCe’s on the
phone.”

“What time is it?” I asked with my eyes
closed.

“It’s almost noon—here take the phone. She’s
waiting for you.” My mother said putting the phone in my hand.

“Hello?” I said yawning.

“Good morning sunshine!” CeCe said in a
perky voice.

“CeCe, hey, I can’t believe I fell back
asleep for that long. I was up at 5:30 AM with Lucy. Never mind
that—when are you going to be here? I can’t wait to see you. I’ve
missed you so much!”

“I’m not sure. Did your mom get a new car?”
She asked with a grin in her voice.

“What, no?”

“Are you sure?” CeCe urged.

“Yes, I’m sure.” I said sitting up in my
bed, attempting to get up and look out the window.

“Hmm, I wonder whose car that is.” She
said.

“What are you talking about CeCe?”

“That black car sitting in your driveway.”
CeCe said.

“CeCe; you’re here!” I yelled excitedly as I
looked out to find CeCe waving at me.

“Yes, I got up at the crack of dawn and came
early to surprise you.”

“What are you talking on?” I asked realizing
that she was sitting in a brand new black Volkswagen
convertible.

“Oh, it’s a cell phone. My mom and dad got
it for me when I went back to school. They were worried about me
driving back and forth alone. It’s a little big but it comes with
its own bag and I don’t have to stop to use a payphone now.”