Speak Bird Speak Again (32 page)

Who
pulled out the scarf -

The
scarf of the kingdom put,

As
bandage to my foot!"

"Were
you the one then whose foot I bandaged?" he cried out, and came
running over to her.

They
lived happily ever after, and may Allah make life sweet for all my
listeners!

22.

TELLER:
Once upon a time - but first a prayer of peace for the Virgin!

AUDIENCE:
Peace be to her!

Once
upon a time there was a king Who had an only son and no other. One
day the father died. Taking his mother with him, the son said,
"Mother, let's go traveling around these lands. We ought to have
some fun."

With
her on one mare and him on another, they went out and traveled,
traveled, traveled. They came upon a man sitting at the crossing of
three roads.

"Hey,
uncle!" called out the boy.

"What
do you want?" the man answered.

"What
road is this?" asked the boy.

"This
one's the Road of Safety," the man replied. "That one's the
Road of Regret, and the other's a road that sends but does not bring
back."

"I'm
taking the Road of No Return," announced Clever Hasan.

"O
Clever Hasan! For the sake of Allah! For the sake of the Prophet! For
the sake of Jesus and Moses!"

"Never!"
said the youth. "I must take this road."

"But
you will surely did"

"Let
that be as it may!" declared the boy. "When my life span
has run out, let me die."

Setting
out on that road, he came upon a giant with his head in the sky and
his feet on the ground.

"Peace
to you!"

"Welcome!"
said the giant. "But, Clever Hasan, who's given you permission
to pass this way?"

"I
want to pass? insisted the lad.

"This
means war!"

"So
be it!"

Drawing
his sword, Clever Hasan struck him a blow which cut off his legs and
threw him to the ground.

"Ouch!"
roared the giant. "No one has ever been able to defeat me
before. Here, take the keys to my palace! You and your mother can
stay in it."

They
stayed in the palace. Of course, what does a king have to do but go
out hunting and shooting? One day, he went out to take the air, and
his mother took pity on the black giant. Every day she would bring
some cotton and wash his legs, dressing them with iodine until they
healed. They fell in love and married, without Clever Hasan knowing
what was going on behind his back. She became pregnant and gave
birth, to a boy the first time. Becoming pregnant again, she gave
birth to a boy the second time.

"What
am I going to do?" she asked. "If Clever Hasan finds out,
he's going to cut off my head."

"Come,"
said the giant, "Do you see that orchard full of pomegranate
trees? No one has ever gone into that orchard without being torn to
pieces."

"It's
a simple matter then," said the mother. Taking some turmeric,
she dyed her face yellow.

"May
you be well again, mother!" said Clever Hasan when he came home.
"What's the matter, mother? What happened to you?"

"Nothing's
really the matter, son," she answered. "I just want to
taste the pomegranates from that orchard over there before I die."

"That's
easy, mother," he said. "Supply me with enough provisions
to take care of my needs there and back."

Mounting
his horse, he traveled. Arriving, he came upon a sheikh sitting
there.

"Peace
to you!" the lad hailed him.

"Welcome!"
replied the sheikh. "Had your salaam not come first, I would
have gobbled you up and licked the flesh off your bones! Where are
you going, Clever Hasan?"

"By
Allah, most venerable sheikh, I'm on my way to get some pomegranates
for my mother."

"Ho!
Ho!" laughed the sheikh. "I've been sitting here for the
last twenty years, and I'm still waiting to taste those pomegranates.
But until now, no one has ever gone into that orchard and come out
alive."

"Allah
will deliver. me," replied Hasan.

"Now,
O Clever Hasan," said the sheikh, "what you must do is go
straight in, without looking left or right. If you turn this way or
that, you're dead! Pick the pomegranates, put them in the saddlebags,
and come right out!"

"Yes,
sir!" said Clever Hasan, and he went straight in. He filled the
saddlebags, adding three extra pomegranates for the sheikh, and came
out. He gave the pomegranates to his mother, and she said to the
giant, "You said he would die, but here he is back, just like a
monkey!"

"I
don't know how he could have done it," he replied. "No one
has ever gone in there and come out alive."

"You've
done well, son," she said to the lad. "You can go now.
Allah bless you!"

The
following day, the giant said, "Look here! There's a melon
patch, and no one who goes into it ever comes out alive."

She
did the same thing, dyeing her face with turmeric and lying in bed.
"O my head!" she moaned.

"What's
the matter, mother?"

"By
Allah, son, I have a yearning for watermelons."

"That's
easy, mother," he said. "Give me enough provisions to get
there and back."

She
gave him the provisions, and he ran, ran, until he arrived. Again he
came upon a sheikh at the gate. "Peace to you, O uncle sheikh!"

"Had
your salaam not come first," responded the sheikh, "I would
have gobbled you up and licked the flesh off your bones! What do you
want?"

"I
want a watermelon from this patch," the lad announced.

"I've
been sitting here for the last ten years, and I've never seen anyone
who was able to bring out even one melon. Those who go in never come
out."

"Allah's
the final judge, for me as well as for them," said Hasan.

The
sheikh said to him the same as the other had, "Go straight in.
If you turn this way or that, you're dead!"

Going
right in, the youth filled a sack with watermelons, taking three
extra melons for the aged sheikh. Pulling himself together, he came
out of there fast. A thousand followed him (In the name of Allah!)
but they were not able to catch him. Carrying the melons with him, he
brought them to his mother, thinking she would be happy.

"Yee!"
complained the mother to the giant, "You said he would die, but
here he is, back with melons just like a monkey!"

"What
can I do?" asked the giant. "I don't know how he does it."

Taking
the melons, the mother ate some and said to Hasan, "Thank you,
son! May Allah reward you with Plenty!"

"Your
last resort is to ask for the water of life," the giant said.
"He'll never be able to bring the water of life! It'll take him
at least seven days and seven nights just to get there."

"O
my son, my darling! My finger is burned and it needs the water of
life to make it well."

"Mother,"
he said, "prepare enough provisions to get me there and back."

Taking
his provisions with him, Clever Hasan started on his way. He carried
with him a razor, a pair of scissors, some cologne, scented soap, and
clean clothes. When he reached the land of the ghoul, he greeted him,
"Peace to you, uncle ghoul!"

"Welcome,
Clever Hasan!" replied the ghoul. "Had your salaam not come
first, I would have gobbled you up and licked the flesh off your
bones!"

Coming
down from his horse, the lad trimmed the ghoul's eyebrows, his beard,
mustache, and hair; washed him with the scented soap; splashed him
with cologne; and gave him fresh clothes to wear.

"May
Allah give you pleasure, as you gave me," exclaimed the ghoul.
"What can I do for you, Clever Hasan?"

"I
want to fetch the water of life for my mother."

"Listen,"
said the ghoul, "I'm going to send you to my sister. She's a
month older than me, but a whole age wiser. If you find her grinding
sugar, with her breasts thrown back, approach her and suck at her
right breast and then at her left. But if you find her grinding salt,
with her eyes sparkling red, take care not to go near her!"

"Yes,
sir? said Clever Hasan, and he went straight ahead. He found the
ghouleh grinding sugar, with her breasts thrown back over her
shoulders. When he had sucked at her right breast, she called out,
"Who was it that sucked at my right breast? He's now dearer than
my son 'Abd ir-Rahim." When he had sucked at her left breast,
she asked, "Who was it that sucked at my left breast? He's
become dearer than my son Abd ir-Rahman." She then said to him,
"You've sucked at my breasts, so I can't possibly harm you. But
my children are eleven ghouls, and if they see you, what're they
going to do to you? What am I to do with you?"

Soon
her children came home, and when she heard their voices she blew on
him, turning him into a needle which she stuck into her dress. Her
sons arrived.

"We
smell a human being!" they announced.

"The
human smell's in you and your trails," she answered.

"Impossible!"
they insisted. "There's a human smell here!"

"Guarantee
his safety!" she said.

"He's
our brother in God's promise, and may Allah betray him who betrays
this oath!"

She
brought Hasan back as he was. "Welcome!" they said, hugging
and kissing him. (Of course, he had 'now become their brother.)

"Who
among you will take Clever Hasan to bring the water of life?"

One of
them said he needed ten days for the journey, and another said nine
days, but the youngest said he could take him there and bring him
back in seven minutes. Carrying Clever Hasan on his back, the ghoul
flew with him.

"How
big does the world look to you?" he asked.

"As
big as a wheat sieve," replied Hasan.

"How
big does the world look to you now?"

"As
big as a flour sieve."

"And
now?"

"As
big as a piaster."

"That's
it!" announced the ghoul," "We're there. Come down
now. See that gate over there? You'll find the door leaning to the
side. Set it back in place. Then you'll see dogs and horses. Take the
meat away from the horses and put it in front of the dogs, and take
the barley away from the dogs and give it to the horses. Take this
empty pitcher with you and put it at the edge of the fountain. Bring
back a full pitcher, and don't turn left or right. Come straight out
and slam the door quickly when you leave!"

Clever
Hasan went right in, and did as the ghoul had told him. He fixed the
door, switched the meat and the barley, put the empty pitcher down,
picked up the full one, turned his back, and came straight out.

"Trap
him, O gate!" shouted the devils.

"It's
been forty years since I've been opened!" came the answer.

"Catch
him, O hounds!"

"It's
been forty years since we've tasted meat!"

"Hold
him, O horses!"

"It's
been forty years since we've tasted barley!"

Meanwhile,
Hasan ran until he reached the ghoul, who put him on his shoulders
and flew off.

"Welcome!"
said the ghouleh when they arrived. "Allah be praised for your
safety!"

"Who's
going to take him back to his uncle?" they asked among
themselves.

"I'll
complete the favor I did him," volunteered the youngest, "by
taking him back to his uncle."

Taking
him on his shoulders, the ghoul flew back with him to his uncle.

"Here's
your horse back? said the big ghoul.

"Yes,"
said Hasan, bidding him good-bye. He then mounted his horse and moved
on.

On his
way back to his mother, the king's daughter saw him from her balcony.

"Clever
Hasan!" she called out. "Stop here awhile?

"No,"
he said, "I don't want to stop."

"By
my father's head," she swore, "and by Allah, who gives him
power over other people's heads, if you don't stop by I'll have yours
cut off!."

Hasan
came over to see her. Now, she was clever and took away the pitcher
with the water of life, giving him one full of ordinary water in its
place. She then fed him lunch and sent him on his way. He went
straight to his mother and knocked on the door.