Special Delivery (12 page)

The rest of February disappeared in the blink of an eye, and in March the children were still cool to Amanda. She and Jack talked about it from time to time, and he knew how much it bothered her, but there was nothing they could do about it, except wait for them to come around once they'd adjusted. Jan hardly ever called her mother anymore, and Louise was openly hostile to her whenever Amanda went to visit the children. In her case, her reaction was particularly hard to understand, since she had never gotten along with her father.

But Amanda and Jack were so busy these days that at least most of the time, she was distracted. But there was no denying that her daughters' reaction to them was taking a toll on her. She seemed to have stomach problems all the time, and constant indigestion. And Jack was still urging her to go to see a doctor.

This has gone on for a while. I think you should check it out. You could be getting an ulcer.

I could be. She hadn't been able to drink coffee in weeks, and she had been exhausted ever since the unhappy meeting with her children, but she also knew that it was very obviously due to her own emotions. She had hated to see them all so angry. And once in a while now, she had nightmares about Matthew. He always accused her of something in her dreams, and any psychiatrist probably would have told her she felt guilty. But not enough so to change her feelings. She was more in love with Jack than ever. And the romance had blossomed.

He invited her to the Academy Awards in March. They were early this year, and he was always invited by his more important clients. Amanda hadn't been to them in years, not since she won one herself, and she was excited about going with him. And he ordered a dress for her from Julie's. It was a fabulous white satin Jean-Louis Scherrer with black-beaded shoulders and a small train that lingered elegantly behind her. And when the big night came, and he picked her up, she took his breath away. She looked every inch a queen, and the big star she had once been. It was as though, with him, she had regained what she had once been, and added to it. In the past few months, she had acquired a patina of happiness over her old glamour.

Wow! he said admiringly. The dress hadn't looked half as beautiful when he first saw it On her, it looked exquisite, and it molded every inch of her fabulous figure. Her long blond hair was piled high on her head in soft curls and a French twist. And she was wearing diamond earrings and a diamond bracelet. She looked truly splendid.

You look incredible! he said with a low whisde. Her skin was as creamy pale as the white satin. The photographers are going to go crazy.

I doubt that, she said modestly, and took his arm as they walked out to the waiting limousine. He was carrying her short white mink jacket.

When they stepped out of the car at the Shrine Auditorium, the crowd cheered for her. They recognized her immediately, and shouted her name, and just as he had predicted, a wall of photographers engulfed them. He could feel her hand shake a little as he took it in his own and he smiled down at her. Her husband had kept her away from all this for more than twenty years, and now suddenly she was back, and no longer accustomed to it. There was an elegant, gentle grace about her that made her even more alluring.

Are you all right? he asked, looking at her with concern. She looked a little nervous, but she smiled up at him and nodded.

They made their way through the press, and the crowds in the lobby, and then slowly to their seats in the auditorium, among all the stars that the entire country and world adored and longed for. Several people waved at them, and Jack smiled broadly at a number of his clients. He looked proud and at ease, and completely comfortable to be there.

And then the ceremony began, and as usual, it took forever. The TV cameras panned across them constantly, and they all felt as though they'd been there all year by the time it was over. The award for Best Actor had gone to a new face this year, and the Oscar for Best Actress had gone to an old favorite who had held her prize aloft and gave a whoop of glee while everyone got to their feet and cheered her.

Finally! she said with a huge smile. It had taken her forty years to win it. And Amanda couldn't help remembering how she had felt nearly thirty years before on a night like this. It had been one of the most exciting things that had ever happened to her. And now, it seemed so long ago, and still a warm memory, but so much less important.

What was it like for you? he asked with a smile, as they left the auditorium through throngs that barely seemed to move. It was worse than riding the New York subway.

It was incredible, she said, smiling at him. I thought I was going to explode with excitement. I never even thought I'd get the nomination, let alone win it. I was twenty-two ' it was terrific. It was nice to be able to admit how much it had meant to her. Her husband had never liked it when she talked about it.

They barely moved ten feet in the next ten minutes, and people kept coming up to them, to talk and comment on the awards and just to say hello, as they all waited to leave the theater. The press was complicating everything, stopping stars as they left, and interviewing them right in the midst of the crowd, creating bottlenecks that couldn't be passed through.

Think we'll ever get out of here tonight? Jack Nicholson asked as they pressed by him, and Amanda shook her head with a smile. She had never met him, but admired him greatly.

Do you know him? Jack asked with interest.

No. But I like his movies.

We should rent yours sometime, he said. He had never thought of it, she spoke so little about her career. Matthew had taught her not to.

How depressing, she laughed. I can't think of anything worse than seeing what I looked like thirty years ago, and then having to look at myself in the mirror. Besides, I wasn't much of an actress.

Jack shook his head at her modesty, and they moved a few inches and then were trapped in total gridlock, and the heat and crowd around them was oppressive. She felt as though she were going to melt, and she could just imagine what Jack felt like in his tuxedo. But in spite of the discomforts people were in good spirits, and everyone was laughing and talking and waving at friends they couldn't get to. But just as Jack saw one of his favorite clients about twenty feet away from them, Amanda began to feel dizzy. Jack was mouthing bits of a conversation and pointing to the exits as he rolled his eyes, and Amanda suddenly heard a buzzing in her ears, and her head started pounding. But Jack hadn't noticed. After a while, she tugged at his sleeve, and when he looked back at her, he was startled to see that she had gone deathly pale in just a few minutes.

I'm not feeling very well, she whispered to him, it's so hot in here ' I'm sorry. '

Do you want to sit down? He couldn't blame her. It was giving him a headache too, and the camera lights still focused on them weren't helping, and the heat was very oppressive. It was also impossible to reach the seats again. They were trapped in the aisles, and they would have had to fly to get there. Jack realized that as soon as he'd said it, and he glanced at Amanda's face again. She was suddenly not just pale, she was green, and she was blinking as though she was having trouble seeing. He got a firm grip on her arm, and tried to guide her out of the aisle through the crowd, but it was hopeless.

Jack ' she said weakly, looking at him, and as he looked at her, her eyelids fluttered, her eyes rolled back, and she fainted, and he just managed to catch her as a ripple went through the crowd immediately around her, and a woman gasped as she saw it. Jack was holding Amanda in his arms, and somebody started shouting. People were trying to move for them, everyone was asking what had happened, and Jack was worried sick about her.

Give us some air, please ' move back! A man next to him was shouting, Call the paramedics! Suddenly it was hysteria all around them, and Amanda was still lifeless in his arms. He swept her off her feet, and her head rested against his chest, just as two ushers appeared out of nowhere with smelling salts and an ice pack, asking what happened. But at the same moment, Amanda began stirring, and glanced up at Jack, with no idea of what had happened to her.

You fainted, sweetheart ' it's the heat ' just take it easy. ' And like the Red Sea parting, the crush of people moved just enough to let him carry her to a row of seats and he set her down gently. And within seconds, a crew of paramedics arrived and looked down at Amanda, as Jack explained that she had fainted.

How do you feel now? one of the paramedics asked her.

Incredibly foolish, Amanda said, smiling weakly at Jack with a look of apology. I'm really sorry.

Don't be silly, he said, looking worried. She was still light-headed and he could see it. She didn't look as though she could have stood up and walked out of the theater, but she wanted to try it.

We'll get a wheelchair, one of the ushers offered, and Amanda looked horrified.

No, really ' I'm fine' . We'll go when the crowd thins out a little.

But the ushers offered to take her out a back exit instead, and Jack urged them to do that. The paramedics said she was free to go, as long as she felt up to it, but they suggested she see her doctor in the morning, and Jack seconded the motion with a grim expression. He had been telling her that for a month, and she wouldn't listen.

He put a powerful arm around her waist, and half carried her to the exit between the ushers, and a moment later they were out in the air, and she felt better. She took a deep breath and thanked everyone, and apologized profusely for the trouble she'd caused them. She was deeply grateful that they hadn't been spotted by the press. There was no one waiting for them, and Jack left her with the ushers just long enough to find the limo, and then came back and got her into it. Five minutes later, they were driving away, and she was leaning against the backseat with an exhausted expression.

I'm so sorry, she said for the ten thousandth time. I don't know what happened.

That's why you have to see the doctor.

I think it was just the heat and the crowd. I couldn't breathe all of a sudden, she said, sipping a glass of water he handed her from the bar in the limo. People always faint at the Academy Awards, Jack. I'm just sorry I did it this year.

Well, don't do it again! He leaned over and kissed her. She still looked beautiful, but very pale. And he was very worried about her. You scared me to death in there. It's a good thing it was so damn crowded, so you couldn't fall when you fainted. At least you didn't hit your head or anything.

Thank you, Jack. He took such good care of her, and when they got back to his house, she took off her dress, and he tucked her into bed, and she looked like a teenager with her fancy hairdo and her blond hair and her makeup and diamond earrings still on, and then she giggled. I can't believe I did that.

It was very dramatic, he chided, loosening his tie, and smiling at her. Can I get you anything?Water? Tea? She puckered her brows as she thought about it and then smiled at him. She was starving.

How about ice cream?

Ice cream? He looked startled at the question. You must be feeling better at least. I'll see what we've got. What flavor?

Mmm ' coffee.

Coming right up. He saluted, and came back with a bowlful two minutes later, and one for him too, and he sat on the bed next to her as they ate it. Maybe you were just hungry, he said hopefully, but he didn't think so. She'd been looking pale lately, and he'd been trying not to see it. She'd been looking great for a while, and now lately, she looked tired. But he knew she was still upset about her children, and they weren't making it any easier for her. They refused to offer any acknowledgment whatsoever, let alone approval, of her relationship with Jack Watson.

But Jack had decided to take the matter in hand himself the next day. As soon as they got up, he asked her for the number and called her doctor. He told the nurse what had happened the night before, and asked for an appointment that morning for Amanda Kingston.

And you are? the nurse asked pointedly. She was new there, and she didn't know Amanda.

Mr. Watson, he said, writing down the time of the appointment.

Are you Mrs. Kingston's husband?

No ' I'm her friend. I'll be there with her.

Fine, Mr. Watson. We'll see you at eleven. The appointment was in Beverly Hills, and after he brought Amanda a cup of tea and told her about it, he decided to go for a walk on the beach by himself. She seemed happy to stay in bed that morning, and he suspected correctly that she did not feel as well as she pretended. But he didn't challenge her about it. They would know more, hopefully, when they went to the doctor.

But as he walked down the beach alone, his thoughts seemed to fly in all directions, and he began to run, as though to escape the terror of what he was thinking. Anything was possible ' she could have a brain tumor ' bone cancer ' something that had grown and spread and metastasized without their even knowing it was there. He could only imagine the worst scenarios and when he finally stopped running and sat down, he realized he was crying. But it was happening to him all over again. He had found the one woman in millions he could love, and something terrible was happening to her. He was terrified she was dying. It was going to be just like Dori, he thought as he sobbed, he was going to lose her, and he couldn't bear it. He put his face down on his knees, and huddled there, crying like a child, and he couldn't even turn to her for comfort. He didn't want to frighten her, but more than anything he didn't want to lose her.