Downstairs, Emily and Harry are lying on the sofa, smiling at one another as they gently kiss.
‘So what do you think of Alice?’ Emily strokes his cheek as she marvels at finding such a lovely man in such an unlikely place.
Harry smiles. ‘She’s not what I expected,’ he says. ‘She’s really down to earth and sweet.’
‘She is, isn’t she?’
‘What’s her husband like?’
Emily frowns. ‘I like him but I think he’s probably a bit of a bastard. You kind of have to like him, he’s incredibly charming, but also very controlling with Alice, and I’m sure he’s unfaithful.’
‘Why would anyone want to be unfaithful if they were married to someone like Alice?’ Harry is confused.
‘I know. Alice swears he’s just an old flirt and would never do anything, but I’m not so sure. But the Alice you met today is the real Alice, just incredibly loving and natural and playful, and you’ll see how she changes when Joe’ around.’
‘In what way?’
‘She’s much quieter, she allows Joe to be the centre of attention, and she’s much more careful.’
‘Do you think they’re happily married?’
‘Oh God. I don’t know. I know that I would never have expected her to marry someone like Joe, or live the life she’s living with Joe, but who really knows what goes on behind closed doors?’
Harry leans forward and kisses Emily again. ‘That’s enough about Alice. I’m far more interested in you right now.’
‘Oh good.’ Emily shivers as Harry lifts her hair and softly kisses her neck. ‘I was hoping you would say that.’
The cab takes a hard right round a corner, causing Josie to slide sharply into Joe.
There’s an intimate silence in the cab. Josie is wondering whether she should have stopped drinking Cosmopolitans a few hours ago, while Joe is wondering whether they should go to her place or his. Have to be hers, he decides. However much of a bastard he is, he’s too careful to bring anyone back to the house, you never know what they might accidentally on purpose leave behind.
‘Just here on the left.’ Josie leans forward, gathering her coat and bag as Joe starts to rise. Josie turns to him, knowing what she has to do. The air is filled with promise, she is so attracted to him and he to her, and it would be so easy for her to go to bed with him tonight, but it would be a mistake.
She knows absolutely it would be a mistake.
‘Don’t get up,’ she says brusquely. ‘I’ll be fine.’
‘Ah. That means I’m not getting invited in for coffee, doesn’t it?’ Joe sits back, disappointed but not deterred. If not tonight, another night. He knows he’ll get there in the end.
‘You’re not getting invited in for coffee,’ Josie smiles, and Joe leans forward just at that moment, and in the darkness of the cab he kisses her. Once, twice. Three soft kisses on her lips. No tongues, nothing overtly sexual, but a guarantee that he will not settle for friendship, that it may not happen tonight, but it
will
happen. Of that he is absolutely sure.
8
Alice yawns as she tiptoes down the stairs trying not to wake anyone, rubbing her neck and shoulder as she groans.
The bed was not as bad as she remembered, it was worse. She had slept fantastically for three hours, then spent the rest of the night tossing and turning, eventually waking with a stiff neck at six o’clock.
She has lain in bed reading for an hour, then come downstairs to be met by an excited Humphrey and Dharma, who jump all over her then run to the front door whining, their tails wagging furiously.
Pulling her coat over her pyjamas, she looks for her boots by the front door, realizing she has left them upstairs. She can’t be bothered to run back up, so she slips her feet into Harry’s huge Timberlands, grabs one of Emily’s hats, pulls it down firmly over her ears, and clips the leads on the dogs as she tries to shush them before quietly going outside.
It’s a beautiful morning. The air is cold and crisp, the frost glitters on the grass, and the sky is a bright clear blue. Crunching over the lawn, Alice pushes open the gate and leads the dogs into the field. She bends down and unclips their leads, smiling as the pair of them eagerly take off, racing round in circles, tongues hanging out of their mouths with joy.
She had forgotten just how wonderful the view is, how much she loves being in open spaces, breathing fresh air. She crosses her arms to keep out the cold, and follows the dogs, sliding her feet across the lawn to stop the huge boots falling off.
Twenty minutes later she’s about to die of cold. Calling the dogs as quietly as she can, she clips the leads back on and leads them across the country lane back into the house to make some coffee and warm up.
‘Morning!’ Harry’s sitting at the kitchen table with a mug of steaming coffee. He’s wearing jeans and a large sweatshirt, and Alice is relieved to see that his bare feet seem to be completely normal.
‘You look disgustingly happy for first thing in the morning,’ Alice laughs, knowing that a night of sex will do that for you. As it happens, Alice is a morning person herself, has always had the ability to bound out of bed wide awake, without the need for caffeine to give her that first boost of the day.
‘I’m always good first thing,’ Harry smiles. ‘I saw you outside walking the dogs. I hate to be the one to tell you this but I think your boots are a little too big for you.’
‘Ah yes. They’re yours, actually. I couldn’t find mine so I borrowed them. Do you mind?’
‘Not at all. Glad to have been of service. And the hat suits you too. Can I get you some coffee?’
‘Mmm, that sounds lovely.’
‘So how did you become a dog-trainer?’ Alice is clearing up the cereal bowls while Harry stands by the stove cracking eggs into a frying pan.
‘I was supposed to be a vet,’ Harry laughs, ‘but I didn’t have the discipline.’
‘You mean you went to veterinary college?’
‘Yup. I dropped out half-way through my second year.’
‘But that’s terrible.’
‘Is it? Why?’
‘You were so close. Don’t you have any regrets?’
Harry hands Alice the packet of bacon to open, then slaps six rashers into the pan. ‘Sometimes. But I don’t think I’m the sort of person who would be happy working in a nine to five job.’
‘Do you think being a vet constitutes a nine to five?’
‘Actually it’s longer, you’d have to be on call all the time even when you weren’t at your practice, but it’s more about routine. I didn’t have the discipline to do the same thing every day, and although I do sometimes think I should have finished, just to have got the qualifications, on the whole I’m very happy with my life.’
‘And is dog-training everything you thought it would be?’
Harry laughs, walking over to the table and sliding the eggs and bacon on to plates as Alice puts a pile of toast on the table and sits down. ‘Dog-training is fantastic, but best of all is the time it gives me to do other things.’
‘Such as?’
‘Such as gardening. And pottering round the house. And I’m a bit of a dab hand at woodwork.’
‘What kind of woodwork?’
‘Bookshelves. Benches. That kind of stuff.’
‘For yourself or for other people? God, this is delicious! I don’t even remember the last time I had fried eggs and bacon for breakfast. This feels so decadent!’
‘What do you normally have for breakfast?’
‘Fruit.’
‘And?’
Alice shrugs. ‘Just fruit.’
‘That’s not breakfast!’ Harry is horrified. ‘You need something much heartier for breakfast. I’ll have to have a word with Emily about you.’
‘What do you have for breakfast then? Surely not this every day. You’ll be having a heart attack any moment now.’
‘Nope, these breakfasts are only for the weekend. My usual breakfast is a bowl of porridge, toast, and fruit. Oh, and sometimes pancakes.’
‘Pancakes? How are you not the size of a house?’
‘Gardening’s bloody good exercise. It’s hard physical labour.’
Alice laughs. ‘You could start a new fitness craze: Harry’s hardcore gardening workout.’
‘I’m serious.’
‘I know. I’m sorry. So go on, which is it? Do you do the gardening and carpentry for yourself or for other people?’
‘Both. I took them up years ago just because I wanted to learn new skills, but now I do quite a lot for other people, usually friends, or friends of friends. I try to only work with people I like. Life’s too short to be doing something you don’t want to do. So what about you, Alice? What do you do?’
There is a silence while Alice thinks about how to answer. How can she possibly tell him she has lunch? Or she is on various charity committees? How can she say she goes shopping? And has manicures?
‘I don’t do very much really,’ she says eventually, preferring nothing to the truth.
‘Okay. Next question. What would you want to do?’
‘You mean if I wasn’t living this life?’
‘Yup, if you could do anything at all.’
Alice sits and thinks for a while. ‘Probably a bit of gardening and carpentry,’ she says, and they both laugh.
‘Morning!’ Emily, in a dressing-gown, stretches in the doorway and grins, first at Harry, then at Alice. She walks over to Harry and puts her arms around his neck, leaning down as he looks up at her with a smile, and kissing him on the lips.
Alice watches them with envy. How exciting a relationship is when it’s this new, when you’re still discovering one another, when you still have the capacity to fall head over heels in love.
‘Did you sleep well?’ Alice manages an innocent expression, laughing as Emily blushes.
‘I slept terribly, thank you for asking,’ Alice continues. ‘That bed is a bloody nightmare. I can’t believe you haven’t changed it yet.’
‘Why would I change it? I don’t have to sleep on it.’
‘Oh, thanks a lot.’ Alice harrumphs as Emily sits on Harry’s lap. ‘Can you two just try and keep your hands off each other first thing in the morning?’
‘It’s not first thing in the morning,’ Emily laughs, twining her arms around Harry’s neck. ‘It’s nearly ten.’
‘Oh God. I’d better switch my mobile on. Joe’s probably standing at the station in a fury, waiting for me.’ Alice runs out to her bag as Emily shakes her head sadly at Harry.
‘See what I mean?’ she whispers. ‘Joe says jump, Alice asks how high.’ Her voice resumes its natural pitch. ‘Is there a message?’ She looks up as Alice walks back into the room listening to her mobile. Alice nods. ‘Yup. He’ll be at Stow at 10.55. I’d better get ready. Do you guys want to come?’
Emily looks at Harry. Harry grins at Emily and Alice groans in disgust. ‘Young love. Doesn’t it make you sick? I’ll see you later.’ And she goes upstairs to get dressed.
*
Joe is an expert traveller. He likes planes, trains and long car journeys. In first-class, on a plane, he immediately pulls on the complimentary socks, puts on the eye mask, and instructs the stewardess to wake him for the final meal before arriving. In the car he makes sure he has his favourite CDs and a good supply of snacks, and on trains he ensures he arrives early enough to buy a baguette sandwich and every newspaper he can lay his hands on.
Today he doesn’t bother with the newspapers. Today he spends the entire journey with his eyes closed, a faint smile on his face, lost in a fantasy world of what it must be like sleeping with Josie.
By the time the train pulls into Stow, Joe is in an excellent mood. It’s a clear, sunny day, there is his beautiful wife waving at him, and he’s about to embark on a sexual adventure – life surely does not get much better than this.
‘This is
it
?’ Alice pulls the Range Rover up on the verge opposite Brianden, and switches off the engine as Joe sneers at what he thinks is one of the ugliest houses he’s ever seen.
‘Yes, this is it. Come on Joe, don’t be nasty. It’s only one night.’
Joe shakes his head. ‘I can’t believe you dragged me to the Cotswolds to stay here. This is going to be awful.’
‘It’s not awful, it’s lovely inside, and for God’s sake it’s one night.’
Joe sighs deeply and shakes his head as he reaches into the back seat for his Tumi overnight bag. ‘And to think we could have been at the Lygon Arms right now. Talk about the sublime to the ridiculous.’
Alice feels a flash of fury. She’s about to say something, but the front door opens and Emily waves excitedly to Joe, who composes his face and gives her his most charming smile.
‘Emily!’ he says smoothly, getting out the car. ‘How lovely to see you and how lovely to be here.’ He leans down and kisses her on each cheek. ‘And you must be Harry,’ he says, extending a hand. ‘I’m Joe. It’s very, very nice to meet you.’
The four of them set off over the field with the dogs. Emily, Harry and Alice all wrapped up in scarves, hats and gloves, sensible boots on their feet. Joe is in a Barbour, a cashmere sweater and John Lobb custom-made shoes on his feet. His entire outfit is probably worth about as much as Emily’s house.
‘Isn’t this wonderful?’ Joe takes a deep breath. ‘Just breathe that fresh air. I love the country. Darling, why don’t we come to the country more often?’
‘Because we’re always so busy on the weekends?’ Alice ventures. ‘And because I thought you hated the country?’
‘Hate the country? Who hates the country? This is marvellous.’
The dogs run ahead as the four of them cut across a field, ending up on a puddle-ridden path. Within minutes their boots are sinking into the mud, and Joe’s country-loving smile is replaced with a deep frown. ‘Shit,’ he mutters, gingerly trying to avoid the puddles, his Lobbs now hidden under a thick layer of mud.
‘Is anyone hungry?’ Joe asks, five minutes later. ‘Are we nearly there?’
‘Hungry? We haven’t been out long enough to build up an appetite,’ Emily scolds. ‘Anyway, the pub’s another two miles.’
Joe stops in his tracks, sinking an inch or two into the mud. ‘Two miles? You’re joking, aren’t you?’
‘No.’
‘Joe.’ Alice can’t help herself, she starts to laugh. ‘What did you think we meant when we said we were going for a walk?’
‘I thought you said walk. Not John o’Groats to Land’s End.’
‘Oh, don’t be such a baby,’ Emily chides. ‘It’s good for you.’
A few minutes later Joe has a horrifying thought.
‘How exactly are we supposed to get back from the pub?’ The three of them start laughing as Joe shakes his head. ‘Nope. Count me out. I’ll be getting a taxi.’
‘He is charming,’ Harry whispers to Emily as they stand at the bar, waiting to order, ‘but he’s a bit of a wuss, isn’t he?’
‘He’s just not a country boy.’ Emily leans into Harry as he puts an arm round her shoulders. ‘Shame. We almost would have had more fun if he hadn’t come.’
‘Oh, I don’t know. That look on his face when he realized he’d be walking back was a classic – gave me the best laugh I’ve had in weeks.’
Two ploughman’s lunches, two scampi and chips, three sticky toffee puddings and one apple pie later, Alice, Emily and Harry stand up and stretch, holding their stomachs and groaning, preparing to walk off some of the calories on their way home.
‘Come on, Joe,’ Alice says, standing over her husband who is still sitting at the table, perfectly happy with a coffee and today’s copy of
The Times
which someone has left on the neighbouring table. ‘Are you coming?’
‘Nope. I’ll get a cab back. See you at home. Cheers!’ And he raises his coffee cup and smiles as the three others shake their heads and troop out of the door.
‘I cannot believe what a total wimp my husband is.’
‘I hope he’s prepared to stay there all afternoon,’ Emily laughs.
‘Really? Why?’
‘Where does he think he is, Oxford Street? Does he think cabs grow on trees? My guess would be by the time he finds a cab to bring him home it’ll be dinner-time.’
‘Good. Serves him right. Oh God. Dinner-time,’ Alice moans. ‘Can we just not mention food ever again?’
‘You mean you don’t want to go for a proper English cream tea this afternoon?’ Harry smiles as the girls groan.
‘Tomorrow,’ Emily says. ‘Right now I just want to go home and sleep.’
‘Are you sure that’s all you want to do?’ Harry takes her hand and winks at her as Alice makes vomiting noises behind them.
‘Can you just save it for the bedroom, please? Some of us are about to throw up.’
By the time Joe arrives a log fire is roaring, the dogs are stretched out asleep, and Harry and Emily have retired for an ‘afternoon nap’.
Alice is curled up in the armchair, reading, and she looks up with a smile as Joe walks in. He comes over to her and kisses her, as she makes a face.
‘I can smell whisky,’ she says. ‘Have you been drinking all afternoon?’
‘I started talking to the farmer up the road,’ Joe’s hands start to wander up her thigh, ‘and he bought me a drink and gave me a lift home.’
‘Not just one drink, I take it. Look at you, you always get randy when you’re drunk.’
‘Not drunk, just pleasantly mellow, and very turned on by my lovely wife. Where are the others?’
‘Doing what you presumably wish you were doing.’
‘Come on, darling, let’s go upstairs.’ Joe kisses Alice, and leads her, smiling, up the stairs to the lumpy, bumpy bed.