Spinning Starlight (21 page)

We keep working on technological things, building some gadgets and taking others apart. Tiav continues to be surprised when I manage things without being able to read, and
sometimes without waiting for him to explain. I can’t figure out the words to make him understand, probably because I don’t understand, either. I just know that the way Ferinne
technology is designed flows for me. It does what I want it to do, like it knows, the way I always wished my projects would work.

I don’t know whether I’m making progress. There’s something about the crystalline components we work with. The way they align energy patterns. Since the Khua-spires are made of
crystal, too, there might be a useful connection there, something that can help free my brothers. Even if I’m wrong about that, the experience of things making sense and
working
tickles my brain. I have to believe if I keep chasing that feeling, eventually the right idea will spark. My extreme focus on building assorted gadgets must seem strange to Tiav, but he
doesn’t question it. If anything, his smiles and patience hint that he finds it amusing with a side of fascinating.

At the end of another day of nonstop tinkering, I’m ready to keep going for a few more hours like we have the past few nights. Tiav has other ideas, because he clears the screen and picks
up my tools.

“Jahmari once told me an old Crimna saying about obsession,” he says, tucking the tools away. “It’s fine to feed one, as long as you starve it once in a while,
too.”

I raise my eyebrows. That kind of talk would make me hungry, except we just ate.

“It’s called taking a break. And I’ll apologize in advance, because it means another ride in a streamer.”

That changes my expression in a hurry. The only interest I have in streamers is taking one apart to see how it works.

His own expression is a combination of relaxed and eager as he offers me his hand. “Please? I want to show you something. I think you’ll like it.”

My resistance melts, and I take the offered hand. The work will wait.

The streamer ride is what it always is, if a little longer than usual, and I’m glad when it’s over. Upon opening my eyes and getting out, however, I have no idea where we are. No
sign of the buildings of Podra, and no sign of the usual hills and woods surrounding it, or the mountains in the distance. This place is flatter. I turn, and maybe I do see the mountains, much
farther away than before. I can only see them at all because one of the smaller moons is peeking over the edge.

Tiav takes my hand again and guides me in the opposite direction. “Over here. Come on.”

Several steps away from the streamer, I’m able to see enough to know the ground ends just ahead of us, because there’s something else out there. The ocean. We’re on a cliff
above it. Tiav tries to lead me right to the edge, but I hold back. It’s hundreds of feet down if it’s an inch. His grip on my hand tightens as his thumb gently runs along mine, sending
a shiver up my arm.

“It’ll be okay, Liddi, I promise,” he says. “And it’s worth it, but you have to see only the ocean and the sky.”

He’s never lied to me yet, so I take the last few steps and carefully lower myself to sit with him, our feet just inches from the edge. A mix of vertigo and euphoria slides from my stomach
up to my head, but then it settles, and I see what he means. Just the ocean and the sky, one reflecting the other, going on and on to the edge of the world.

It silences the constant “I-should-be-doing-
something
” in my head.

My hand is still in his, and neither of us makes any move to let go. I watch the waves undulate, lightly rippling the reflected moons and stars. The saltiness in the air carries all the way up
here, and I imagine during the day the sounds of sea birds would surround us. It’s beautiful, and I’m glad Tiav brought me. We have nothing like this on Sampati, nothing so peaceful and
big. Maybe the view is old and boring to Tiav, though, because he’s watching
me
. I don’t have to check to know it. Being watched is familiar…but there’s something less
familiar in this.

The break in the silence is gentle, his voice just loud enough for me to hear. “I have to tell you something, Liddi. I want to kiss you.”

That’s enough to pull my gaze from the ocean. I look at him and try to figure out why he would say that. He doesn’t know who I am. He doesn’t know anything about me.

The corner of his mouth turns up into half a smile. “I’m getting pretty good at this game. You’re thinking that I can’t possibly know enough about you to want to kiss
you. Other than how you look, maybe—which doesn’t hurt, by the way—but there’s more. You haven’t needed your voice to show me who you are. The way you played
gedek
, how you light up when you’re working on tech, even your frustration with writing…You also don’t need your voice to tell me to back off if that’s what you
want.”

Maybe all he doesn’t know is a good thing. He doesn’t know I’m set to be the richest girl in the Seven Points. He doesn’t know I’m a disappointment to the Jantzen
family name. He doesn’t know how completely I’m failing my brothers. He wants to kiss me anyway.

I want him to kiss me.

So he does.

It’s a blanket wrapping around me and a fire searing my veins at the same time. Sharing a breath, like his voice could be both of ours. His hand releases mine so it can find its way to my
back, teasing my spine with its light touch. As I grip the front of his shirt, his other hand brushes against my cheek, then slides down to my neck. He’s gentle, careful, like he
doesn’t want to break me. I draw him closer, but then his thumb slides over the implant in my throat, adding to its everpresent pressure, and I wince.

Tiav pulls back, his eyes overflowing with both curiosity and concern. “What’s that?” He traces his fingers over the implant until I shy away. “Is that why you
won’t talk?”

I nod. Finally, I’m able to give him a bit of truth.

A smile breaks across his lips. “Then we can go to Jahmari. He’ll know how to remove it, or one of the other doctors will.”

No. No, we can’t do that. Minali’s no null-skull. She’ll have some kind of fail-safe if anyone tries to remove or tamper with the device. I shake my head and ease Tiav back,
but he catches my hands in his. They’re warm and strong, tempting me with the lie that everything is okay when it isn’t.

“Something bad will happen?” My nod brings a twist of despair to his eyes. “I hate this, Liddi. Not understanding. I’m good at the game, but I can’t guess this.
You’re in danger at home and can’t tell me what kind. You can’t speak—someone’s done something to you to make sure of it—and you can’t tell me why. All I
want is to help you, to fix it. To find who did this to you and make it right.”

I wonder if he’d feel the same way if he knew how much the Khua are entwined in the situation. If he knew what it would mean to the Agnac. I remember what he said after I was arrested, how
some people questioned his respect for the Khua. This would be much worse.

Tiav would have to choose the Khua over me. His duty, his life, his world. Just like I’d choose my brothers over him…if I had to.

He tangles his fingers in my hair, bringing me close. “Whatever it takes, I’ll help you. I’ll find a way to understand. I won’t stop until I can hear your
voice.”

I take his face in my hands and kiss him again, hoping he hears the words.

I know.

When Fabin’s warning about being late got no response from Liddi, he went to her room to see what was keeping her. His little sister hadn’t even started getting
ready for their evening at the theater. She sat on her bed, staring at the open closet, though it was unlikely she could see anything through the flood of tears.

“What’s wrong?” he asked.

Liddi said nothing, just pointed to the wallscreen where a media-cast was queued.

Fabin started the playback but still didn’t see the problem. Just a standard fluffy report on Liddi attending a fashion show with Anton.

Then he saw Liddi had enabled the chat-line tagged onto the end of the report, and the tears made a lot more sense.

“How could any designer let her come into their show looking like
that
?”

“She always looks like that. All the designers in the Seven Points together can’t save her from those stick-arms.”

“You’d think she’d learn
something
after thirteen years of being spoiled rotten.”

“She’s such a fake. I wish she’d just die already like her par—”

Fabin deactivated the screen and sat with Liddi, letting her cry a little longer. “Don’t listen to them,” he finally said. “Seriously, chat-lines are useless, and
those people are jealous and full of hate. They think it’s okay to hurt you because they don’t know you—you’re not a person to them.”

“But the other kind is just as bad!” Liddi protested. “Pretending they like me but they don’t. They don’t know anything, they just want the attention. They
don’t know me, either.”

A sigh was Fabin’s only answer at first. “The Jantzen family legacy. People fawning over us on one hand, then celebrating every misstep on the other. And you have it worse than
the rest of us. Since you inherit, they’ve decided you’re fair game.”

“There’s nothing fair about it!”

He gave her a squeeze. “No, there’s not. But there are good people out there who’ll see past the flashy media-casts. I promise. Just keep being yourself, and they’ll
find you.”

GOING BACK TO TIAV’S HOME
is a little strange. Not that I don’t have my own space—I’ve still never figured out exactly
where his room is in the labyrinthine penthouse. But the one time Reb Vester made the mistake of kissing me, we didn’t have to sleep under the same roof. And this wasn’t a mistake, and
my brothers aren’t here, and I just don’t know
what
it is.

We run into Shiin as soon as the elevator doors open. Tiav is still holding my hand. His mother’s reaction is difficult to read.

“How did today go?” she asks.

Tiav glances at me before answering. “Good. Liddi definitely has a knack for electronics.”

“I’m sure she does,” Shiin says with a small, distracted smile. “I’m going to the Khua, but I’ll be back soon. Sleep well.”

Once she leaves, I turn to Tiav with the question in my eyes. Maybe a few questions.

“It’s an Aelo thing. We can’t sleep if something’s bothering us. Especially my mother—she’s the one who started the practice of really
asking
the
Khua things beyond ‘ Do you mind blocking off the Lost Points?’ Before that, Aelo were more passive ‘ listeners.’ Not that asking always leads anywhere, but it’s better.
Feels more like moving forward.”

I point to the door Shiin just went through.

“What’s she going for now? Could be anything. Remember I told you the Khua have been more confusing than usual lately? My mother’s set on unraveling it.” He must catch
the look in my eyes, because he quickly adds, “Don’t worry, nothing to do with you. It started before you arrived.”

That’s a relief, but I was right—that’s not the only question I have. When he figures out the other one, he slides an arm around my shoulders to hold me close. I’m
surprised at how easily I relax into his embrace.