Spirit's Chosen (10 page)

The spirits were compassionate to me that night. Though my waking mind was filled with concern for Mama’s fate, I found serenity in sleep. More than that, the night’s journey carried me to a place where I had once known the greatest happiness, the realm where I had heard prophecy from the sun goddess’s own lips and found the one I loved with all my heart. I woke still filled with the delight of my dreams.

Kaya was also awake, lying on her side with her cheek resting on one hand. “Ha! Watch that grin before you blind someone with it, Himiko,” she said. “Good dreams, eh?”

I bobbed my head, unable to stop smiling. “I saw him, Kaya! I saw Reikon again.”

“That spirit prince of yours?”

“You remember him?” I don’t know why I was so pleased to hear it.

“Just his name. You never introduced us,” she responded.

“How could I? He isn’t human, and you—Oh. You’re teasing me.”

“I am not,” she maintained with a comical offended look. “I’m feeling left out, that’s all. You told me about him, but that’s not the same as getting to
meet
a handsome prince of the spirit world. Did you even think to ask him if he’s got a brother or a cousin who might be interested in me?
Hmph
. Some girls have nothing but luck, and never share with their friends.” She feigned a melancholy sigh.

“Kayaaaaaa …”

“Stop bleating like a sick fawn.” My friend rolled over onto her stomach, both hands now propping her chin. “Tell me about your dream.” She leaned toward me a little more. “
All
the good parts.”

“It wasn’t like that.”

“Too bad.”

“Ugh, you’re awful, and you’re going to be disappointed: I’ve never dreamed about Reikon that way. In fact, I haven’t dreamed of him at all until now.”

“I
don’t
believe that!” Kaya objected, raising her head sharply.

“Believe it or don’t, it’s true. There’s a difference between thoughts and dreams. He never left my mind or my heart, but no matter how much I wish to see his face again, to walk with him through the light and shadow of his world, it hasn’t happened.”

“Except for last night.”

I smiled a little wider. “Yes.”

She waited for me to say more, and when I stayed silent, she exclaimed, “
Now
who’s teasing? Tell me all about it or suffer Lady Badger’s wrath!”

“I’ll tell, but you’ll still be disappointed. I dreamed he
found me following a steep path somewhere in the mountains. He took my hand and we walked on together. We didn’t speak.” I shrugged. “Then I woke up.”

Kaya pursed her lips. “You were right, Himiko: I’d call that dream a big letdown, yet it’s got you grinning like a well-fed fox. If you can make a feast out of such a dried-up crumb, you
must
love him.”

I lowered my eyes. My smile faded like the last lick of flame from a dying fire. “Do you think I’m a fool, Kaya?”

“What for?”

“For yearning after a spirit. For setting my heart on an impossible goal.”

She thought about it a while. “I’ve used the same bow for years, Himiko. I know how far it can shoot, and how foolish it is to waste good arrows. Yet there are times when I’m hunting that I see prey that’s out of range—a big kamoshika, a plump pheasant about to take wing, a wild boar so fat and tempting that just the sight of him makes my mouth water! What do you think I do then?”

I gave her a sideways look. “You shoot?”

She nodded once, emphatically. “I shoot. And what happens?”

“You hit the target?”

“No. Not usually. But sometimes I do, and even when I miss, I feel better to have tried and failed than to have failed without trying. Who knows if it won’t turn out the same for you? You’ve entered the realm of the spirits. Maybe someday your prince will find his way into our world.”

Kaya’s heartening words were a comfort to me on a day when I would need much comfort. We had all barely
finished cleaning up after our meager breakfast when Masa appeared in the doorway. He looked dejected and did not bother to give any of us a morning greeting. His eyes met mine for a moment and all I could see in them was despair. Then he turned his gaze to Yukari, seated on the floor with her son.

“They’re waiting for you.”

My stepmother blinked as if taken by surprise. “Why do they want me? To tell what happened? Anyone who was there yesterday can do that!”

“It’s Master Michio’s idea. Until we have a chieftain, he must make all of the great decisions for our clan. He says that no matter how many others saw the attack, you will give the most accurate version of things because you alone experienced it. The truth lives with you.”

Yukari shook her head rapidly. “No. No, no, no. I can’t go. I won’t. I’m afraid.” Her nervousness affected Takehiko, who began to whimper and cowered behind his mother.

“There’s nothing to fear,” Masa told her. “Takehiko doesn’t need to be present for this. Fusa and Toyo are waiting outside, at the foot of the ladder. They will take care of him in our home. And as for Mama …” His face grew even longer. “She won’t be able to raise a hand against you. Lord Hideki himself came for her this morning. He was accompanied by all of Father’s remaining counselors. Two of them linked their arms through hers while the other formed a guard around her and marched her to Master Michio’s house. I left her there, surrounded. Even if she weren’t so confused and fearful, she’d never be able to get past all of those men to hurt you.”

“But that’s not why I don’t want to testify!” Yukari exclaimed. “I know she won’t hurt me again but … but what if I say something that hurts
her
?” Takehiko wailed.

I knelt and stretched my arms wide enough to embrace them both. “Then go and say something that will help her,” I told her. “We are her closest kin, her family. No one in this village knows Mama better than we do. Don’t leave her fate in ignorant hands.”

Yukari bit her lower lip, then gave her consent. We turned over Takehiko to my sisters-in-law and walked to the shaman’s house.

A crowd awaited our arrival. Nearly every able-bodied member of our clan was gathered around Master Michio’s doorway. Men and women jostled one another, striving for a better view of the shaman, of Lord Hideki and the stern-faced elders, and of my unhappy mother, surrounded by her guards. When the people noticed our approach, their whispers soared and swooped like bats at twilight, but at least they had the courtesy to stand aside and let us pass.

“There you are, Lady Yukari.” Master Michio stepped forward. “How are you feeling? Has the pain been too much for you?”

She bowed her head and mumbled, “It’s all right.”

“I hope you aren’t saying that just because you think it’s what I want to hear,” he said warmly. “Of course I
do
, but only if it’s true.” He chuckled.

The familiar, benevolent sound worked its magic: Yukari took heart and smiled shyly. “My arm hurts, Master Michio, but it’s not too bad. Himiko has looked after me very well.”

“As I would expect of her.” He gave me an approving look, then patted my stepmother’s uninjured arm. “You know, if we’re going to help you heal, you mustn’t be afraid to speak up when you feel pain.”

“Pain?”
Lord Hideki’s loud sarcasm turned every head in his direction. “You think
that
is what she fears? She saw her only child savagely attacked before her eyes, and the one who did it remains among us! If she fears anything, it’s that the same thing will happen again.”

“I did not realize that the gods had given you the power to read other people’s hearts, Lord Hideki,” Master Michio said dryly. “Would you care to tell me what
I
fear too?”

The stern elder ignored our shaman’s jibe. “Lady Yukari, I cannot look at you without shame, knowing that I was partly accountable for what happened, but I swear before everyone gathered here, I will atone for it.”

He left his place with my mother’s guards and got down on his knees before Yukari, pressing his brow to the cold ground. She was unnerved to see such a revered member of our clan abasing himself to her. “Lord Hideki, please get up! This is needless. What happened was … was nothing any of us could have foreseen or prevented. How can you be guilty of that?”

He looked up at her with a face of stone. “If I had held my weapon in a stronger grasp, as a man should, she never would have been able to take it. You would not have been so gravely hurt while saving your boy’s life. Worst of all, I would not be here today to witness a good woman—wife of my honored chieftain, widow of my beloved friend—be condemned to die.”

In the astonished silence that fell over all of us, Yukari’s gasp was as explosive as a clay pot smashed against a boulder. “No, oh no.” Her uninjured hand muffled her mouth. “Condemned to die? It’s not right. How can you say such a thing?”

“Yes, Lord Hideki, how?” Master Michio’s usually affable smile was gone. “Have you forgotten that the final judgment here rests with me?”

The clan elder stood up, swatting dirt from his knees, and confronted our shaman belligerently. “And have you lived among strangers for so long that you’ve forgotten how we Matsu live? This clan has never tolerated murderers.”

“My mother is no murderer!” I shouted, barging my way in between the two men. “You were always our family’s friend, Lord Hideki: why do you slander her with an abominable name? No one is dead! No murder took place!”

“Only thanks to Lady Yukari,” he responded. “This wasn’t the first time your mother has run wild. Can you swear that she will never raise her hand against another innocent? Can you promise that there won’t be a death the next time?”

I straightened my back. “I can.”

“Why? Because she is your mother? That’s not enough.” His tone softened, and he gestured to where Mama sat, imprisoned by a living wall. I could catch glimpses of her, back bent, updrawn knees, face buried in her folded arms.

“I am not speaking as her daughter,” I answered. “I speak as a shaman. I give you my word, she will be healed.”

Lord Hideki was unmoved. “I don’t want your word:
I want proof. You claim you’ll heal her. When? This whole winter was not long enough for you to succeed in casting out her madness. And you, Master Michio!” He turned to face him. “You have had even more time to make her well. Have you?”

Our shaman met Lord Hideki’s challenging stare with one of his own. “If I have failed to cure her, let
me
be punished for it.”

“What good will that do?” The old warrior threw his hands in the air. “There is only one way to prevent another tragedy, and that is to follow what our laws demand of us. Listen: when I was a boy, there was a great tumult in our village one night. A man had been caught in another’s home, a knife in his hands. The two were rivals for the same woman. If the intruder had not roused his victim by stumbling in the dark, he would have committed murder. His intentions were clear. Our chieftain said:
‘The hawk that misses one kill and flies away still wants blood. He will try again. If I have the power to protect my people from his talons and do not use it, I am the guilty one when he returns and succeeds.’
The man died. Our clan’s way calls for the death of those who seek the lives of others, whether or not they accomplish their purpose. It has always been so; it must be so now.”

A flurry of horrified whispers ran through the crowd. Lord Hideki turned his fiery gaze on the people. “I only speak for our ways, the rules that our ancestors handed down to us since this land was newly born. Do you think I
want
this woman’s death?”

“What you want does not matter,” I told him. “None of
this is up to you.” I had never spoken so boldly to an elder of a clan. I have no idea what power possessed me. A great strength and a greater certainty filled me, body and spirit.
My people must not go down this dark path
, I thought.
It leads to a place without mercy, where there is no justice, only law
. “Let Master Michio speak. Let
him
give us a decision.”

“He’d better not free her just because he feels like it!” one of the guards shouted stridently. “Any decision he hands down must obey our ways!” There were a number of approving murmurs. Not all of our clan were blessed with sympathetic hearts.

“You forget, my lords, my people,” I said softly. “I am a chieftain’s daughter. I know our clan’s ways as well as you, or better. Father spoke about them often, from the time I was too young to understand. He discussed our laws with his counselors, when there was a quarrel to settle, but there were times I overheard him speaking with his friends, wondering aloud why some of our customs were so harsh, like one that decrees a murderer’s fate is death—”

“Ah-ha! So you admit this!” the guardsman exclaimed an instant before I concluded:

“—and death for every member of the murderer’s family.”

The uproar was tremendous. The people’s voices rose in noisy protest. Even those who might have stood by and let my mother die were shocked at the thought of her death causing so many others. Yukari stood speechless, her mouth agape, and began sinking to her knees without realizing it. Masa rushed to hold her upright. From behind the wall of
guards, my mother howled like a suffering child. Master Michio struggled to restore silence, then looked at me like a man dazed by a hard blow to the head.

“Himiko, are you sure of what you’re saying?” he asked in a pleading voice.

“You know I am, Master Michio, because you know our laws too,” I replied, unafraid. “If I had not mentioned it, someone else would have, sooner or later.” My eyes rested meaningfully on Lord Hideki.

“No.” He shook his graying head slowly. “I never would have done that.”

“Why not?” I pressed on. “That
is
the full measure of the law against murderers. If my mother is condemned, so is our family. We are spared only if she is spared. Which will it be?”

I saw the first glimmer of uncertainty in Lord Hideki’s eyes. He began to waver visibly. I sensed he was on the verge of abandoning his stance and I held my breath, praying for his surrender. He was not a cruel man, and faced with such a dire choice, was likely to take the side of compassion. All he needed was time enough to reconsider and listen to his heart.